Futurama Quotes
Fry: Leela, are you alright? You got wanged on the head.
Leela: I was having the most wonderful dream. Except you were there, and you were there, and you were there!
Leela: I was having the most wonderful dream. Except you were there, and you were there, and you were there!
TV Show: Futurama
Munchkins(singing): We represent but are legally distinct from the Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild....
TV Show: Futurama
Professor Farnsworth: For example, if you killed your grandfather, you'd cease to exist!
Fry: But existing is basically all I do!
Fry: But existing is basically all I do!
TV Show: Futurama
Professor Farnsworth: And remember, don't do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to, in which case, for the love of God, don't not do it!
TV Show: Futurama
Bender: You know, I was God once.
God: Yes, I saw. You were doing well, until everyone died.
God: Yes, I saw. You were doing well, until everyone died.
TV Show: Futurama
God: Bender, being God isn't easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you, and if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch. Like a safecracker, or a pickpocket.
Bender: Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money!
God: Yes, if you make it look like an electrical thing. When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.
Bender: Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money!
God: Yes, if you make it look like an electrical thing. When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.
TV Show: Futurama
That Guy: There are two kinds of people: sheep and sharks. Anyone who is a sheep is fired. Who's a sheep?
Dr. Zoidberg: Errr, excuse me... which is the one people like to hug?
That Guy: Gutsy question. You're a shark. Sharks are winners, and they don't look back because they don't have necks. Necks are for sheep. I am proud to be the shepard of this herd of sharks.
Dr. Zoidberg: Errr, excuse me... which is the one people like to hug?
That Guy: Gutsy question. You're a shark. Sharks are winners, and they don't look back because they don't have necks. Necks are for sheep. I am proud to be the shepard of this herd of sharks.
TV Show: Futurama
Hermes: We can't compete with Mom! Her company is big and evil! Ours is small and neutral!
That Guy: Switzerland is small and neutral! We're more like Germany, ambitious and misunderstood!
Amy: Look, everyone wants to be like Germany, but do we really have the pure strength of will?
That Guy: Switzerland is small and neutral! We're more like Germany, ambitious and misunderstood!
Amy: Look, everyone wants to be like Germany, but do we really have the pure strength of will?
TV Show: Futurama
Leela: We haven't made a single delivery since you took over!
That Guy: Delivery has nothing to do with the delivery business!
That Guy: Delivery has nothing to do with the delivery business!
TV Show: Futurama
[Dr. Zoidberg has broken the professor's ship-in-a-bottle.]
Dr. Zoidberg: Oh no! The professor will hit me! But if Zoidberg fixes it... then perhaps gifts!
Dr. Zoidberg: Oh no! The professor will hit me! But if Zoidberg fixes it... then perhaps gifts!
TV Show: Futurama
Bender: I decline the title of Iron Cook and accept the lesser title of Zinc Saucier, which I just made up. Uhh... also, comes with double prize money.
TV Show: Futurama
Attila the Hun: Stop! Don't shoot fire stick in space canoe! Cause explosive decompression!
Zapp Brannigan: Spare me your space age technobabble, Attila the Hun!
Zapp Brannigan: Spare me your space age technobabble, Attila the Hun!
TV Show: Futurama
Fry: Check it out, y'all. Everyone who was invited is here.
Dr. Zoidberg: Also Zoidberg.
Dr. Zoidberg: Also Zoidberg.
TV Show: Futurama
Leela: I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness.
Fry: Yeah, I do that with my stupidness.
Fry: Yeah, I do that with my stupidness.
TV Show: Futurama
Professor Farnsworth: I hate these nerds. Just because I'm stupider than them they think they're smarter than me.
TV Show: Futurama
[Bender and Planet Express Ship are arguing over using tax money to fund controversial art.]
Bender: Would you censor the Venus de Venus just because you can see her spewers?
Planet Express Ship: Ugh, it's filthy! Why not create a National Endowment for Strip Clubs while we're at it?
Bender: Why not indeed!
Leela: Bender! Ship! Stop bickering or I'm going to come back there and change your opinions manually!
Bender: Would you censor the Venus de Venus just because you can see her spewers?
Planet Express Ship: Ugh, it's filthy! Why not create a National Endowment for Strip Clubs while we're at it?
Bender: Why not indeed!
Leela: Bender! Ship! Stop bickering or I'm going to come back there and change your opinions manually!
TV Show: Futurama
Planet Express Ship: I saw you at Elzar's with those two "ladies of the evening." Explain that.
Bender: Okay, I like a challenge. [thinks for a second] Ah! I got it. I'm going to be completely honest with you, Planet Express Ship. Those women you saw me with were my accountants.
Planet Express Ship: Your accountants? Oh, I would dearly love to believe that were true. So I will!
Bender: Okay, I like a challenge. [thinks for a second] Ah! I got it. I'm going to be completely honest with you, Planet Express Ship. Those women you saw me with were my accountants.
Planet Express Ship: Your accountants? Oh, I would dearly love to believe that were true. So I will!
TV Show: Futurama
Leela: Man, I'm sore all over. I feel like I just went ten rounds with mighty Thor.
Fry: I feel like I was mauled by Jesus.
Fry: I feel like I was mauled by Jesus.
TV Show: Futurama
Fry: Wow! A superpowers drug you can just rub onto your skin? You'd think it would be something you'd have to freebase.
TV Show: Futurama
Nixon's Head: In our darkest hour, we can stand erect, with proud upthrust bosoms.
Fry: Anyone who laughs is a communist!
Fry: Anyone who laughs is a communist!
TV Show: Futurama
[Old Man Waterfall takes a stand against the Decapodian Mobile Oppresion Palace.]
Old Man Waterfall: You can crush me but you can't crush my spirit!
[He is crushed.]
Old Man Waterfall: Aagh, my spirit! Urrgh!
Old Man Waterfall: You can crush me but you can't crush my spirit!
[He is crushed.]
Old Man Waterfall: Aagh, my spirit! Urrgh!
TV Show: Futurama
Leela: Kids don't turn rotten just from watching TV.
Fry: Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools.
Fry: Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools.
TV Show: Futurama
Bender: Have you ever tried just turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?
TV Show: Futurama
Cubert: Hey dad, bite my shiny metal ass!
Professor: What?! Such an action would be extremely uncomfortable for both of us!
Professor: What?! Such an action would be extremely uncomfortable for both of us!
TV Show: Futurama