Futurama Quotes

[Hermes is threatening to jump off a building.]
Planet Express Crew: No! Don't jump!
Bender: Do a flip!

TV Show: Futurama
Number 1.0: Dont quote regulation to me! I co-chaired the committee that reviewed the recommendation to revise the color of the book that regulation is in. We kept it gray.

TV Show: Futurama
Number 1.0: Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away!

TV Show: Futurama
Bender(to Fry and the Professor; after Bender receives a suitcase from a stranger in the middle of the ocean): Hey, guess what you're accessories to.

TV Show: Futurama
[Fry is presented with an egg-sized pill which will allow him to withstand the pressure underwater.]
Fry: Are you crazy? I can't swallow that.
Professor Farnsworth Well, then good news! It's a suppository.

TV Show: Futurama
Supplicant: Please, Don-Bot... look into your hard drive, and open your mercy file!
Don-Bot: File not found.

TV Show: Futurama
Don-Bot: Alright, let's mafia things up a bit. Joey, burn down the ship. Clamps, burn down the crew.
Bender: Uh, Donnie, baby. Youse guys skedaddle. Let me handle the doity wok.
Don-bot: Blotto, I like your style, and your latest accent.

TV Show: Futurama
Professor Farnsworth: Good news, everyone! There's a report on TV with some very bad news!

TV Show: Futurama
Farnsworth: Good news, everyone! I'm sending you on a highly controversial mission.
Fry: Controversial?
Farnsworth: Oh, my, no.

TV Show: Futurama
Greeting Card: Come, Comrade Bender! We must take to the streets!
Bender: Um, is this the boring, peaceful kind of taking to the streets?
Greeting Card: No! The kind with looting and maybe starting a few fires!
Bender: Yes! In your face, Gandhi!

TV Show: Futurama
Fry: They're like sex, except I'm having it!

TV Show: Futurama
Free Waterfall Jr.: Pssh! You can't own property, man!
Professor Farnsworth: I can, but that's because I'm not a penniless hippie!

TV Show: Futurama
Professor Farnsworth: You've killed me! Oh, you've killed me!
Leela: Oh God, what have I done?
Professor Farnsworth: I just told you! You've killed me!

TV Show: Futurama
Hermes: What are you hacking off? Is it my torso?! It is! My precious torso!

TV Show: Futurama
Bender: This is the worst kind of discrimination: the kind against me!

TV Show: Futurama
Soldier: This is the worst part. The calm before the battle.
Fry: And then the battle's not so bad?
Soldier: Oh right. I forgot about the battle. [whimpers]

TV Show: Futurama
Soldier: Cover us Fry! You're the only one with the wounded up positron shooter!

TV Show: Futurama
Fry: [Whimpers] *blasts hole in ground and hides*
Soldier: Fry! You emu-bellied coward!

TV Show: Futurama
Bender: And until then, I can never die?
Gypsy-Bot: Who said that? SURE you can die! [Pulls out big gun.] You want to die?!
Bender: No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don't own!

TV Show: Futurama
Calculon: I was all of history's great robot actors: Acting Unit 0.8, Thespomat, David Duchovny!

TV Show: Futurama
Fry: Michelle, I don't regret this, but I both rue and lament it.

TV Show: Futurama
Dr. Zoidberg: For one beautiful night I knew what it was like to be a grandmother. Subjugated, yet honored.

TV Show: Futurama
[After the men have been sentenced to death by snu-snu.]
Fry: Goodbye, friends. I never thought I'd die like this. But I always really hoped.

TV Show: Futurama
Zapp Brannigan: We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.

TV Show: Futurama
Bender: Maybe you can interface with my ass...by biting it!

TV Show: Futurama
Professor Farnsworth: Anyhoo, your net-suits will allow you to experience Fry's worm infested bowels as if you were actually wriggling through them.
Dr. Zoidberg: There's no part of that sentence I didn't like!

TV Show: Futurama
[During Fry's check-up.]
Dr. Zoidberg: We'll need to have a look inside you with [pulls out a long cord with a camera lens at the end] this camera.
[Fry opens his mouth.]
Dr. Zoidberg: Guess again.

TV Show: Futurama
Hermes: We've got to get somewhere he won't stick his finger.
Bender: It's hopeless! Abandon ship!

TV Show: Futurama
Fry: When I'm with you, every day feels like double soup Tuesday.

TV Show: Futurama
Bender: Isn't it true that you have been paid for your testimony?
Pramala: Yes. You gave me a dollar and some candy.
Bender: And yet you haven't said what I told you to say! How can any of us trust you?

TV Show: Futurama