Frisky Dingo Quotes

Xander: What the hell do you want?
X-tacles: [trading punches and demands] We want a living wage! And some health insurance! And some flex hours, bitch!

TV Show: Frisky Dingo
X-tacle: So you want it in the face or...?
Xander: No, not my handsome face!
X-tacle: Aw, just kidding, you don't get to pick.

TV Show: Frisky Dingo
X-tacle: See you in hell dick.

TV Show: Frisky Dingo
Killface: Great! The one person in the world I want to kidnap, and now he's missing!

TV Show: Frisky Dingo
[After Simon has broken yet another cereal bowl]
Killface: I mean it's every morning.
Watley: [Appearing from nowhere] Yeah, you gotta establish some boundaries.
[Pause]
Killface: [Coldly] Eager to know why you're here.

TV Show: Frisky Dingo
X-tacle #1: If he is Awesome X, that means he's been lying to us all these years.
X-tacle #2: Yeah, which is...actually pretty uncool.

TV Show: Frisky Dingo
[sitar Music Plays]
Phil: Ohn-Naa. Ohn-Naa.
Killface: No no no no! Stop that! Stop that Mantra!
Phil: Oh Hi, and a blessed day to you.
Killface: [annoyed] mm?
Phil: [Optimistic] Mm!
Killface: mm?
Phil: Mm! Ohn-Naa.
[Killface shoots through Phil's Speakers, ending the Sitar Music]
Killface: Get the hell out of Here!
Phil: Mm, I can't. Lorraine kicked me out when she found out I had cancer.
Killface: That fat slag!
Phil: Enh!
Killface: Surely this town has a Y, Philip?
Phil: No, I'm getting a pretty nice Healing Vibe here. Good for my Chakra.
Killface: No, No, Cancer's a bad influence on Simon! Worse than Sinn and that Prawn and...whatever happend to Val?
[The eyes of Mrs Killface's Portrait slide back, revealing Valerie's eyes, looking shifty; the original eyes are replaced.]
Killface: Anyway, get your candles and your, white cells or whatever and just pop on down to the Y, hm?
Phil: Ohmmmmy lawyers say the Annihilatrix caused my cancer.
Killface: What lawyers?
Phil: It's all here in the lawsuit.
Killface: My God, the stones on you.

TV Show: Frisky Dingo
Grace: For Tense Forth News, I'm Grant Runyon.
Cameraman: No, that time you said "Grant Runyon."
Grace: God, what is wrong with me?
Cameraman: Maybe you should go back to the doctor.
Grace: Maybe you should go back to the doctor.
Cameraman: [the camera is sticking out of his chest] Maybe you should shove your skinny arm up my a-hole and change out this tape!

TV Show: Frisky Dingo
Killface: When I get back from the bowl store, I want this apartment to be a crab-and-cancer-free zone.
Sinn: Arthur can't be moved. I think his ribs are all smashed up inside.
Killface: Well my foot hurts, so we're even

TV Show: Frisky Dingo
Stan: Then call Grace Ryan. Set up a late supper, just the two of us, because now that I've assumed Xander Crews' professional position, I think it's high time I assume the position with his lovely paramour.

TV Show: Frisky Dingo
Killface: Phil, what does that look like?
Phil: You know, from here it looks like ants are robbing that bank.
Killface: Well, from here it looks like my financial worries are behind me. [He picks up a gold bar carried by an ant] Come over here, you have pockets.
Phil: Better call my lawyer. This might be an attachable asset.
Killface: No, don't call them.

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Ronnie: I will I will, please to be picking me, guys. Please.
Xtacle: Fine Ronnie, but don't let him escape.
Ronnie: *Sinister laughter* Oh, you don't worry about that, guys.

TV Show: Frisky Dingo
Antagone: Unhand it or suffer my wrath.
Killface: Now see here, woman. If anyone's wrath is going to be suffered, it's mine.
Antagone: It's not wise to antagonize Antagone!
Killface: I'm sorry, Auntie who?
Antagone: Antagone!
Killface: Was "Betty Bug Lady" already taken?

TV Show: Frisky Dingo
Killface: Once again, the mall has become my Waterloo. [Grabbing a post] I surrender.
Antagone: A wise choi-- [She is hit with the post]
Killface: And the next one's right in the tit!

TV Show: Frisky Dingo
X-tacle: Where the hell is Crews?! And where are your pants?

TV Show: Frisky Dingo
Killface: [Unable to get his money out of the bank after Phil spends the money he received from suing Killface] Ridiculous! A hundred and eighty dollars for snake oil?
Phillip: Shark oil, and some of that was for the bath salts and add... the luffa.
Killface: Oh damn your luffa... [Starts pounding the machine] and damn Xander Crews and damn his snotty back!
Phillip: Yeah, why do you bank here anyway?
Killface: [Temporarily with a happier tone] Checking with interest. [Starts pounding the machine again, breaking it] But now this blasted machine tells me my checking account can't be accessed!!
Phillip: Wow, already?
Killface: I d- I beg your pardon?
Phillip: Well, we had to freeze your assets. [Killface tries to suppress his anger with a deep breath] Come on, its common sense. I'm sorry, you want some walking around money?
Killface: No, I want to go you to the car and get some plasma charges and blow Xander Crews' crummy, little bank to-

TV Show: Frisky Dingo
Phillip: My loofah, where's my loofah?!
Killface: Shut up, Phil.

TV Show: Frisky Dingo
Grace: [rapidly, holding stolen gems] Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
Xander: Grace! Open the damn door, it's Xander!
Grace: [tone of Antagone, eyes glowing green] Xander Crews?
Xander: Yes, idiot!
[Grace/Antagone growls]
[Antagone opens door]
Xander Hey fun bags where's my idiot girlfriend?
[Xander gets knocked out

TV Show: Frisky Dingo
Xander crews: And for your information managing a workforce the size of the X-tacles is...
Nerd #1: Yeah.
Xander crews: Like, that takes management skills.
Nerd #1: It Does.
Nerd #2: So your superpower is... management? Baffling.
Xander Crews: You're a bitch.

TV Show: Frisky Dingo
Stan: Now then, I've usurped Crews' company, usurped his alter ego, and...where are we on my date with Ms. Ryan?
Clone: Harumph.
Stan: Well, keep trying. If the situation keeps trending so positively, I...[starts stroking himself] Yes, the sap is definitely rising, and damned if anyone's going to destroy the Earth and spoil all my fun.

TV Show: Frisky Dingo
Killface: [blind] I'm quite sure it was a twenty!
Waiter: Dude, it's a ten.
Killface: Oh, is that how you pay for the benzoyl peroxide I smell steaming off your greasy face?

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Xander: It's gone! It's all gone! The billionaire money is gone, the superhero stuff and the X-tacle fighting force is also gone, and the girlfriend is gone, and even the nerds now are gone, and I got nobody to help me! Might as well be David Arquette!

TV Show: Frisky Dingo
Xander: [Xander has hit the blind Killface with his car] Hey, hey, no no man, don't move, man. I think you got a concussion.
Killface: Ow! What happened?
Xander: Hit... hit... hit... and... and they ran... hit and run, plateless gang car.
Killface: Oh! On a blind man! Crap! Yes, riding dirty, no doubt... With their... Bubba Kush. Well I, sir, am Killface. And you are in my debt... I'm in your debt.
Xander: Yeah, you have a house.
Killface: Yes, let's go to my house. take Naps. Where's my food?
Xander: Yeah, here...
Killface: My head... kills.
Xander: Um... this is actually just full of rocks.
Killface: Oh, that guy!
Xander: Yeah. [Laughs] ChickParm does that to blind people all the time.
Killface: Oh, I hate them!
Xander: Yeah, my girlfriend even did a thing on the news about it-
Killface: Is your girlfriend on the news?
Xander: My... what?
Killface: Grace Ryan? Wait a minute. Who are you? Shhhhh. You smell that? I smell crickets.
Xander: We should go to your house.
Killface: Yes, let's go to my house. Take naps. And y... what's your name? I don't even know your name.
Xander: Um... uh... mmm... Barnaby Jones.
Killface: [Beat] Barnaby Jones!
Xander: Yeah.
Killface: [Singing] People, let me tell ya 'bout my new best friend, Barnaby Jones! [Long pause] ...Nap.

TV Show: Frisky Dingo
Killface: Piping hot hell in a bloody hatbox!

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Stan: [as Awesome X through transmission] How did he even escape anyway?
X-tacle #1: We're...dealing with that internally, X.
Stan: Inte...I'll deal with you internally!
[The X-tacles gasp as Stan holds up a remote.]
Stan: Yes, you'd better gasp collectively, because until you find Xander Crews, I'm gonna blow one of your heads off every hour. [1 X-tacle's head axplodes] Starting now
[Transmission ends]
X-tacle #1: Oh my f-ing God...
X-tacle #2: Every hour? What are we going to do?
X-tacle #3: First of all, maybe we shouldn't have agreed to have remote-controlled explosives put in our necks.
X-tacle #1: Well where were you at contract time?
X-tacle #3: Your mom's house. [X-tacle #1 points gun at #3] Cleaning! Dude I was only cleaning.
X-tacle #1: [holstering gun] Yeah, that's what I thought.
X-tacle #3: [pointing his own gun] Her vagina!

TV Show: Frisky Dingo
X-tacle #2: Did Awesome X seem kind of weird to you guys?
X-tacle #1: Probably just the mustache.
X-tacle #2: Yeah, mustaches are cool.
X-tacle #1, #2, #3: Magnum, P.I.!
X-tacle #4: Rick Simon! [The other X-tacles turn and look at him.] Also had a mustache.

TV Show: Frisky Dingo
X-tacle #2: What's that supposed to be?
X-tacle #3: A little ashtray.
X-tacle #2: For who?
X-tacle #3: It's...it's for my mom.
X-tacle #2: Wh--Diane still smokes?
X-tacle #3: Yeah, right in the...you know... [points at neck] the little neckhole.
X-tacle #4: Dude!
X-tacle #3: Dude I know... It's My mom

TV Show: Frisky Dingo
Xander: You don't know how to do anything!
Killface: I know how not to let my son run off in robot pants with a fistful of knifes!
Xander: Yeah, you're a fantastic parent.
[Killface brakes the car to a screeching halt.]
Killface: You take that back.
Xander: [quietly] Sorry.

TV Show: Frisky Dingo
Killface: This is hopeless.
Xander: Look, don't worry man. At his age, I was like, chronic masturbater. Kinda, kinda still am. But the point is - I like it. I would like to masturbate right now in this car. You know? If I had my stuff with me. I would! What are we even talking about?
Killface: I'm talking about searching for Simon!
Xander: Oh.

TV Show: Frisky Dingo
X-tacle #3: [His GPS tracker has picked up the signal in the Robot pants] Guys, come on! He's right outside!
X-tacle #2: Wait, my paint's not dry.
X-tacle #3: I told you not to glob it on like that.

TV Show: Frisky Dingo