Frisky Dingo Quotes
Killface: [on climbing machine] ...then find me that printer so I can cut his arms off.
Valerie: But you signed off on...
Killface: Mention those proofs again and just see what happens, Valerie.
Valerie: Look, bad grammar aside, forty million people just saw your postcard.
Killface: [stopping exercise] Bugger me! They pull those numbers?
Valerie: It's the highest-rated daytime show ever.
Killface: Ugh, I hate America.
Valerie: [leading] And their booker owes me a favor.
Killface: No, she doesn't. Valerie, if you could get me on Live With Mitzi and Verl, I'd...I'd want two segments--not the one after Verl monologue, that's garbage time--but the next two, after the break. Valerie, you get me on there, you just name your reward.
Valerie: I'd like for you to let me go.
Killface: [resuming exercise] Well, you know...except for that.
Valerie: But you signed off on...
Killface: Mention those proofs again and just see what happens, Valerie.
Valerie: Look, bad grammar aside, forty million people just saw your postcard.
Killface: [stopping exercise] Bugger me! They pull those numbers?
Valerie: It's the highest-rated daytime show ever.
Killface: Ugh, I hate America.
Valerie: [leading] And their booker owes me a favor.
Killface: No, she doesn't. Valerie, if you could get me on Live With Mitzi and Verl, I'd...I'd want two segments--not the one after Verl monologue, that's garbage time--but the next two, after the break. Valerie, you get me on there, you just name your reward.
Valerie: I'd like for you to let me go.
Killface: [resuming exercise] Well, you know...except for that.
TV Show: Frisky Dingo
Mitzi: "Big guy" is right. Look at those pecs! [Applause] I wish I had a chest like that. Ba-dum-bum!
X-tacle #1: [watching on the ship with the other X-tacles] I wish I had someone like her growing up.
X-tacle #2: Dude, save it for group.
X-tacle #1: [watching on the ship with the other X-tacles] I wish I had someone like her growing up.
X-tacle #2: Dude, save it for group.
TV Show: Frisky Dingo
Verl: Big guy, how much ya bench?
Killface: I don't know, really...
Verl: I bet you do 240.
Killface: Actually, it's closer to 900.
Verl: 900 pounds this guy...
Killface: No, no, sorry that's kilos.
Killface: I don't know, really...
Verl: I bet you do 240.
Killface: Actually, it's closer to 900.
Verl: 900 pounds this guy...
Killface: No, no, sorry that's kilos.
TV Show: Frisky Dingo
Randy: Introducing the Scion tC! The bold, sleek styling is all like ka-kow, but the 2.4-liter dual overhead cam engine with 160-horsepower is all like KA-KOW!
TV Show: Frisky Dingo
X-tacle #3: [on the Scion tC] I could take that to the beach.
X-tacle #4: [raising hand] Shotgun!
X-tacle #2: You at the beach, with your skin?
X-tacle #4: [raising hand] Shotgun!
X-tacle #2: You at the beach, with your skin?
TV Show: Frisky Dingo
Verl: Everybody look under your seats!
Killface: Stop it! [silence] First of all, Oprah already gave her audience cars...
Verl: Not the new Scion tC, she didn't!
Killface: ...and didn't waste one segment clucking like a goose about that damn ring--and I hope you know a good appraiser, because if that's not paste, I'll eat my hat. [Mitzi gasps] Now my last segment has fallen victim to "Scion fever."
Verl: Because we love the new Scion tC!
Killface: Shut up! There's a clear line between entertainment and advertising, and you've bloody well crossed it.
[The Scion tC is featured is the background while he talks.]
Killface: Those 18-24's that you're so keen on detest being pitched to, and when I destroy the world, they won't have much use for 17-inch alloy wheels, so...no, no, turn that off there. Stop it. I won't be your pitchman. You hear me. [Walking off; petulant] You're all doomed.
Verl: Doomed to enjoy the new Scion tC!
Killface: Stop it! [silence] First of all, Oprah already gave her audience cars...
Verl: Not the new Scion tC, she didn't!
Killface: ...and didn't waste one segment clucking like a goose about that damn ring--and I hope you know a good appraiser, because if that's not paste, I'll eat my hat. [Mitzi gasps] Now my last segment has fallen victim to "Scion fever."
Verl: Because we love the new Scion tC!
Killface: Shut up! There's a clear line between entertainment and advertising, and you've bloody well crossed it.
[The Scion tC is featured is the background while he talks.]
Killface: Those 18-24's that you're so keen on detest being pitched to, and when I destroy the world, they won't have much use for 17-inch alloy wheels, so...no, no, turn that off there. Stop it. I won't be your pitchman. You hear me. [Walking off; petulant] You're all doomed.
Verl: Doomed to enjoy the new Scion tC!
TV Show: Frisky Dingo
Killface: What a colossal waste of time, and I defy this day to get any worse.
Guy #1: [out of shot] Hey, there goes the new Scion tC!
Guy #2: Dude, that is tight!
Killface: I hate this country.
X-tacles: [driving by in Scion tC, splashing puddle all over Killface] Scion tC! Scion tC!
Killface: Son-of-a-whore! Yes, have fun driving your new Scion tC around on the sun!
Guy #1: [out of shot] Hey, there goes the new Scion tC!
Guy #2: Dude, that is tight!
Killface: I hate this country.
X-tacles: [driving by in Scion tC, splashing puddle all over Killface] Scion tC! Scion tC!
Killface: Son-of-a-whore! Yes, have fun driving your new Scion tC around on the sun!
TV Show: Frisky Dingo
Xander: Hi Funbags, I'm Xander. Where's my idiot girlfriend?
Antagone: Hi-yah! [Punches Xander, sending him flying out to the car] Grace Ryan is dead, and now you, Xander Crews, shall join her in...being dead!
Xander: Who even are you?
Antagone: My name is Antagone!
Xander: Really?
Antagone: Hi-yah! [Punches Xander, sending him flying out to the car] Grace Ryan is dead, and now you, Xander Crews, shall join her in...being dead!
Xander: Who even are you?
Antagone: My name is Antagone!
Xander: Really?
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Awesome X: Just a damn minute, Mr. man, are you even Asian?
[Mao wipes away glasses and fake eyebrows]
Mao: Yeah, see, I kinda got this minority business loan.
[X-tacles cock and point guns at Mao]
Awesome X: Those loans are for non-threatening educated women of color.
Xtacle #1: Yeah, like maybe she wants to go into real estate.
Xtacle #2: Or maybe open up a beauty salon.
Xander: Screw it, shoot him.
Mao: Hey. Hey, whoa. Can't we work something out here. [slips him a postcard]
Xander: More. More. More, like a whole box more. And the villabouts of the whereain Kelly.
Xtacle #1: Whereabouts of the villain killface.
Xander: Did I say the villabouts of the whereain Kelly?
Xtacle #1: Yeah
Xander: 'Cause I've been doing that a lot lately. I wonder if it's a tumor.
Xtacle #1: I know a good cancer doctor.
[Mao wipes away glasses and fake eyebrows]
Mao: Yeah, see, I kinda got this minority business loan.
[X-tacles cock and point guns at Mao]
Awesome X: Those loans are for non-threatening educated women of color.
Xtacle #1: Yeah, like maybe she wants to go into real estate.
Xtacle #2: Or maybe open up a beauty salon.
Xander: Screw it, shoot him.
Mao: Hey. Hey, whoa. Can't we work something out here. [slips him a postcard]
Xander: More. More. More, like a whole box more. And the villabouts of the whereain Kelly.
Xtacle #1: Whereabouts of the villain killface.
Xander: Did I say the villabouts of the whereain Kelly?
Xtacle #1: Yeah
Xander: 'Cause I've been doing that a lot lately. I wonder if it's a tumor.
Xtacle #1: I know a good cancer doctor.
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[looking at fax machine]
Sinn: Perhaps you could get something for it at the local pawnbrokery.
Killface: Sinn, that's bloody brilliant. Hocking this fax machine is sure to bring in the 12 billion I need to complete the Annihilatrix. You're really really really really really really really really smart! [Pause] And pretty.
Sinn: Perhaps you could get something for it at the local pawnbrokery.
Killface: Sinn, that's bloody brilliant. Hocking this fax machine is sure to bring in the 12 billion I need to complete the Annihilatrix. You're really really really really really really really really smart! [Pause] And pretty.
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[in the office to Stan]
Xander: Gimme some glitter on here!
Stan: You can't fax glitter.
Xander: Well, not with that attitude.
Stan: Not with any attitude!
Xander: Gimme some glitter on here!
Stan: You can't fax glitter.
Xander: Well, not with that attitude.
Stan: Not with any attitude!
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Stan: Well calm down. It's not prom night.
Watley: Yeah, cause I'm not... getting... raped.
Watley: Yeah, cause I'm not... getting... raped.
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Phil: Sir, don't you think it's kind of weird how the prize money for this thing is exactly the amount we need to finish the Annihilatrix?
Killface: No, I think it's weird that you question me every...time there's a...thing.
Killface: No, I think it's weird that you question me every...time there's a...thing.
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Killface: Sinn, meet Mr Watley. But don't get too friendly. I'm afraid he's one of our competitors.
Sinn: Charmed
[the two stare deeply in each other's eyes]
Watley: [strains as a plopping sound is heard]
Killface: Did you just... lay a clutch of eggs?
Watley: Well, I gotta go. You should get those in some sand. [runs off embarassed]
Killface: That's... something you don't see every day... one hopes.
Sinn: Charmed
[the two stare deeply in each other's eyes]
Watley: [strains as a plopping sound is heard]
Killface: Did you just... lay a clutch of eggs?
Watley: Well, I gotta go. You should get those in some sand. [runs off embarassed]
Killface: That's... something you don't see every day... one hopes.
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[Team Killface is huddles together, readying for their presentation]
Killface: All right, allright. Let's bring it in. Bring it in. On me. On me. Now look, I'm counting on all of you. There's no yesterday. There's no tomorrow. Forget ant farm keyboard. That's... forget that. I want you to go out there, and take this moment, and make it yours.
Killface: All right, allright. Let's bring it in. Bring it in. On me. On me. Now look, I'm counting on all of you. There's no yesterday. There's no tomorrow. Forget ant farm keyboard. That's... forget that. I want you to go out there, and take this moment, and make it yours.
TV Show: Frisky Dingo
Waiter: [after having sex with Grace] Wow. Thanks, lady. Wait 'til the guys at school hear about this.
Grace: Oh my God.
Waiter: Do you like X-Box?
Grace: Sweetie, I'm tired.
Grace: Oh my God.
Waiter: Do you like X-Box?
Grace: Sweetie, I'm tired.
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Xander: Watley, take the damn ant-farm keyboards to the dump. Oh, and that radioactive waste can also go.
TV Show: Frisky Dingo
Grace: [putting on lipstick] Do you even know how huge this Killface interview will be for me?
Cameraman: So huge your boyfriend will learn your name?
Grace: Why would you even say that?
Cameraman: Because I care about you, we all do.
Grace: Really?
Cameraman: No, we don't.
Cameraman: So huge your boyfriend will learn your name?
Grace: Why would you even say that?
Cameraman: Because I care about you, we all do.
Grace: Really?
Cameraman: No, we don't.
TV Show: Frisky Dingo
Xander: Looking back, Operation Snooperfax was a little...convoluted. Convoluted.
Stan: Convoluted? Damn it, you just about used up all of our operating capital.
Xander: Do we still have enough to pay for Train Island?
Stan: Yes, your little choo-choos are safe.
Xander: Nice!
Stan: Only because I had to make some pretty deep cuts in...elsewhere.
[The X-tacles receive their drastically deducted paychecks]
X-tacle #1: Guess I'll call Jan and tell her we're not going to Orlando.
X-tacle #2: Orlando? Dude, this won't even cover my mortgage.
Stan: Convoluted? Damn it, you just about used up all of our operating capital.
Xander: Do we still have enough to pay for Train Island?
Stan: Yes, your little choo-choos are safe.
Xander: Nice!
Stan: Only because I had to make some pretty deep cuts in...elsewhere.
[The X-tacles receive their drastically deducted paychecks]
X-tacle #1: Guess I'll call Jan and tell her we're not going to Orlando.
X-tacle #2: Orlando? Dude, this won't even cover my mortgage.
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Watley: And I'll put the ant-farm keyboards in the radioactive waste, thereby minimizing the ecological impacts of both! Way to go Watley, you're doin it!
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Cameraman: So what's this now, some kind of calm before the weird berserker storm?
Grace: When I'm onstage at the Airport Radisson accepting my local Peabody, I'm not gonna mention any of you.
Grace: When I'm onstage at the Airport Radisson accepting my local Peabody, I'm not gonna mention any of you.
TV Show: Frisky Dingo
(Cameraman's Phone): Ca-at Par-taay...
Camerman: Don't freak out. I'm turning it off.
Killface: Oh, my God. Is that "Cat Party"?
Cameraman: Yeah, the ringtone?
Killface: Here, put it on mine, please.
Cameraman: Has it got Bluetube on it?
Killface: No, you big, sloppy man. I just want "Cat Party."
Cameraman: No, Bluetube is-
Killface: Tell him to give me "Cat Party" or it's going to be talon party. At your face's house.
Camerman: Don't freak out. I'm turning it off.
Killface: Oh, my God. Is that "Cat Party"?
Cameraman: Yeah, the ringtone?
Killface: Here, put it on mine, please.
Cameraman: Has it got Bluetube on it?
Killface: No, you big, sloppy man. I just want "Cat Party."
Cameraman: No, Bluetube is-
Killface: Tell him to give me "Cat Party" or it's going to be talon party. At your face's house.
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Sinn: You didn't kill the taxi driver?
Killface: You know, I was, but I think it's hard enough on the Arabs in this beastly country right now.
Sinn: I don't think he's Arab.
Phil: No, I'm pretty sure that guy is Filipino.
Killface: Well then. [Shoots the taxi driver] London calling.
Grace: Oh my God! Yes! THAT is exactly the kind of bloodlust that makes for a phenomenal interview. Hi. Grace Ryan, Force 10 News.
Killface: And you must be Killface. What am I saying? Of course you're not Killface, not with a face like that; no one in their right mind would think to call you...I'm Killface...if anybody is.
Killface: You know, I was, but I think it's hard enough on the Arabs in this beastly country right now.
Sinn: I don't think he's Arab.
Phil: No, I'm pretty sure that guy is Filipino.
Killface: Well then. [Shoots the taxi driver] London calling.
Grace: Oh my God! Yes! THAT is exactly the kind of bloodlust that makes for a phenomenal interview. Hi. Grace Ryan, Force 10 News.
Killface: And you must be Killface. What am I saying? Of course you're not Killface, not with a face like that; no one in their right mind would think to call you...I'm Killface...if anybody is.
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Killface: [to Simon] I'm so proud of you. We're going to split a half-pint of lager and watch Cinemax all night.
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Killface: Xander Crews, I demand a ransom of twelve billion dollars...
Xander: Oh, terrific.
Killface: ...for you.
[Two X-tacles drop down, guns pointed at Killface]
X-tacle #1: He's not paying you a dime, Killface.
Xander: Yeah!
[Third X-tacle drops down and points gun at Xander]
X-tacle #3: Cause dead men don't pay ransom.
Xander: No!
Killface: I'm going to start freaking out now
Xander: Oh, terrific.
Killface: ...for you.
[Two X-tacles drop down, guns pointed at Killface]
X-tacle #1: He's not paying you a dime, Killface.
Xander: Yeah!
[Third X-tacle drops down and points gun at Xander]
X-tacle #3: Cause dead men don't pay ransom.
Xander: No!
Killface: I'm going to start freaking out now
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Xander: Grace!
Waiter: Mi amor!
Killface: Lovely newslady!
Grace: This is Grace Ryan, Force 10 News, dangling helplessly from high atop the Annihilatrix, my microphone now literally a lifeline, because if I fall, I will drop into...what appear to be drums full of super-intelligent radioactive-waste-covered ants.
Cameraman: [whispering] Oh God, please fall.
Waiter: Mi amor!
Killface: Lovely newslady!
Grace: This is Grace Ryan, Force 10 News, dangling helplessly from high atop the Annihilatrix, my microphone now literally a lifeline, because if I fall, I will drop into...what appear to be drums full of super-intelligent radioactive-waste-covered ants.
Cameraman: [whispering] Oh God, please fall.
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Killface: Fetch the minivan. We're off to murder that wretch Xander Crews.
Grace: Don't you dare hurt him!
Sinn: Sire, Phil has cancer.
Killface: First of all, he's obviously not that into you.
[Grace gasps]
Killface: Phil, given your strict forcemeats-and-cheese regimen, the only real surprise is you're not dead already.
Phil: Phil, grappling with the cold reality of death, has no pithy rejoinder.
Grace: Don't you dare hurt him!
Sinn: Sire, Phil has cancer.
Killface: First of all, he's obviously not that into you.
[Grace gasps]
Killface: Phil, given your strict forcemeats-and-cheese regimen, the only real surprise is you're not dead already.
Phil: Phil, grappling with the cold reality of death, has no pithy rejoinder.
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Grace: Oh my God, Xander, where are you?
Killface: Well, wherever he is, I'm sure he's laughing his fat face off.
[Aboard the Xcalibur, Xander is tied to a chair getting punched by the Xtacles]
X-tacle #1: Who's laughing now, Crews?
Xander: I wasn't laughing before. [Punch]]
X-tacle #2: I'm gonna punch him so friggin' hard.
X-tacle #3: I'm gonna smash his face in!
X-tacle #4: I'm gonna blow him. [Everybody looks at him] UP! Wh... [Walks off] Queers!
Killface: Well, wherever he is, I'm sure he's laughing his fat face off.
[Aboard the Xcalibur, Xander is tied to a chair getting punched by the Xtacles]
X-tacle #1: Who's laughing now, Crews?
Xander: I wasn't laughing before. [Punch]]
X-tacle #2: I'm gonna punch him so friggin' hard.
X-tacle #3: I'm gonna smash his face in!
X-tacle #4: I'm gonna blow him. [Everybody looks at him] UP! Wh... [Walks off] Queers!
TV Show: Frisky Dingo