Deadwood Quotes
Al Swearengen: Don’t you think I don't understand. I mean, what can anyone of us ever really fuckin' hope for, huh? Except for a moment here and there with a person who doesn't want to rob, steal or murder us? At night, it may happen. Sun-up, one person against the fuckin' wall, the other may hop on the fuckin' bed trusting each other enough to tell half the fucking truth. Everybody needs that. Becomes precious to 'em. They don't want to see it fucked with.
Sol: I won't pay.
Al Swearengen: You pay… or she pays. No home visits. Do your visiting on the premises, five. [Sol slides five coins across the bar] Seven for an ass-fuck.
Sol: I won't pay.
Al Swearengen: You pay… or she pays. No home visits. Do your visiting on the premises, five. [Sol slides five coins across the bar] Seven for an ass-fuck.
TV Show: Deadwood
Al Swearengen: This bloated tick, Claggett, feeding on the neck of the fucking military.
TV Show: Deadwood
Otis Russell: [To E.B.] It must cost you sleep, the guests you drive off, the chances of thievin' and bilkin' you lose needing to rub against your betters.
TV Show: Deadwood
Seth Bullock: I'll be the fucking sheriff.
Al Swearengen: Startin' when?
Seth Bullock: Startin' now.
Al Swearengen: Startin' when?
Seth Bullock: Startin' now.
TV Show: Deadwood
Al Swearengen: [on Bullock and his affair with Alma] He don’t know if he’s breathing or taking it in through fucking gills; he is that fucking cunt-struck. They’re afloat in some fairy fucking bubble, lighter than air. Him, her snatch and his stupid fucking badge.
TV Show: Deadwood
Al Swearengen: Wave a penny under the Jew's nose. They have living breath in them, brings 'em right round.
TV Show: Deadwood
Seth Bullock: Will I find you have a knife on you?
Al Swearengen: I won't need no fuckin' knife.
Al Swearengen: I won't need no fuckin' knife.
TV Show: Deadwood
Al Swearengen: What's the matter—taken by a vision? You would not want to be staring like that at me.
TV Show: Deadwood
Doc Cochran: Jane, for me the female breast long ago lost mystery or allure. Open your goddamn blouse.
Calamity Jane: I'll keep my fucking eyes shut, but I'll know every fucking move you make.
Calamity Jane: I'll keep my fucking eyes shut, but I'll know every fucking move you make.
TV Show: Deadwood
Al Swearengen: Over time, your quickness with a cocky rejoinder must have gotten you many punches in the face.
TV Show: Deadwood
Alma Garret: We do love each other. Our being together ought not to seem so outlandish a proposition. Except for every other damn thing.
TV Show: Deadwood
Swearengen: A full fair-mindedness requires us also to report that within the Gem, on Deadwood's main thoroughfare, comely whores, decently priced liquor and the squarest games of chance in the hills remain unabatedly available at all hours, seven days a week.
TV Show: Deadwood
Merrick: The economic aspect is one fabric in the tapestry of journalism.
Swearengen: Ass-fucking the dirt worshippers being another? A pleasure beyond gain.
Merrick: Now, now, now.
Swearengen: Oh, is that your Heathen imitation? Jump up and down and give a few whoops, as in "Whoop, that ass fucking hurts."
Swearengen: Ass-fucking the dirt worshippers being another? A pleasure beyond gain.
Merrick: Now, now, now.
Swearengen: Oh, is that your Heathen imitation? Jump up and down and give a few whoops, as in "Whoop, that ass fucking hurts."
TV Show: Deadwood
E.B. Farnum: Al, if you're not dead and already moldering, I send news to revive you. A fish to rival the fabled Leviathan has swum into our waters. Get well soon and we'll land the cocksucker together. Your friend, E.B.
TV Show: Deadwood
Seth Bullock: Swearengen said the county commissioners are all from Yankton.
Sol Star: When was this?
Seth Bullock: Just before we hit the mud. It’s wrong the hills get no representation.
Sol Star: Even in an Eden like this, wrongs sometimes occur.
Sol Star: When was this?
Seth Bullock: Just before we hit the mud. It’s wrong the hills get no representation.
Sol Star: Even in an Eden like this, wrongs sometimes occur.
TV Show: Deadwood
Francis Wolcott: You've approached a group in San Francisco that does business with my employer.
Cy Tolliver: That group and employer bullshit really quickens me with fuckin' trust.
Wolcott: That group you've approached is a fraternal Chinese organization.
Tolliver: "Tong" is not a clever enough word?
Wolcott: You offered them a contract to send members to this camp. That organization has a pre-existing arrangement with my employer.
Tolliver: So you work for who, Wolcott? The railroads? Some mining combination that brings those slant-eyes in by the boatload?
Wolcott: No, sir. I work for one man.
Cy Tolliver: That group and employer bullshit really quickens me with fuckin' trust.
Wolcott: That group you've approached is a fraternal Chinese organization.
Tolliver: "Tong" is not a clever enough word?
Wolcott: You offered them a contract to send members to this camp. That organization has a pre-existing arrangement with my employer.
Tolliver: So you work for who, Wolcott? The railroads? Some mining combination that brings those slant-eyes in by the boatload?
Wolcott: No, sir. I work for one man.
TV Show: Deadwood
E.B. Farnum: Some ancient Italian maxim fits our situation, whose particulars escape me.
Francis Wolcott: Is the gist that I'm shit outta luck?
Farnum: Did they speak that way then?
Francis Wolcott: Is the gist that I'm shit outta luck?
Farnum: Did they speak that way then?
TV Show: Deadwood
Ellsworth: Because them as poke around Miz Garret’s workings without a by-your-leave ain’t welcome, Mr. Wolcott, and you ought not to repeat your fuckin’ mistake.
Wolcott: Well, that’s an uncivil response to an innocent error.
Ellsworth: Did you work in the Comstock when you was beardless?
Wolcott: I did.
Ellsworth: For Mr. George Hearst, as a keen eye for the color?
Wolcott: As a geologist for Mr. Hearst. Well, you have the advantage of me, Mr. Ellsworth.
Ellsworth: That ain’t a possibility, Wolcott. No more than an error of yours would be innocent.
Wolcott: I do dimly recall an Ellsworth superintended the consolidated Virginia operations.
Ellsworth: I don’t give a fuck what you recall.
Wolcott: A hero. Dug a week without respite to save three poor souls from a cave-in.
Ellsworth: And 46 corpses in a fucking hole that ought never to have been dug.
Wolcott: Always a choice... to count the saved or the lost.
Ellsworth: Get off this property.
Wolcott: Just as a man opposed to inevitable change needn’t invariably be called a Luddite, another choice might be simply to describe him as slow in his processes.
Ellsworth: You tell that cocksucker you work for the next surrogate he sends oughtn't to be bloodied from the Comstock.
Wolcott: Well, that’s an uncivil response to an innocent error.
Ellsworth: Did you work in the Comstock when you was beardless?
Wolcott: I did.
Ellsworth: For Mr. George Hearst, as a keen eye for the color?
Wolcott: As a geologist for Mr. Hearst. Well, you have the advantage of me, Mr. Ellsworth.
Ellsworth: That ain’t a possibility, Wolcott. No more than an error of yours would be innocent.
Wolcott: I do dimly recall an Ellsworth superintended the consolidated Virginia operations.
Ellsworth: I don’t give a fuck what you recall.
Wolcott: A hero. Dug a week without respite to save three poor souls from a cave-in.
Ellsworth: And 46 corpses in a fucking hole that ought never to have been dug.
Wolcott: Always a choice... to count the saved or the lost.
Ellsworth: Get off this property.
Wolcott: Just as a man opposed to inevitable change needn’t invariably be called a Luddite, another choice might be simply to describe him as slow in his processes.
Ellsworth: You tell that cocksucker you work for the next surrogate he sends oughtn't to be bloodied from the Comstock.
TV Show: Deadwood
E.B.: It is no disloyalty to be a realist, Richardson. We are mortal. One hopes for the best. One perseveres. One re-evaluates constantly. One is an asshole if one doesn't. Loyalty expanded is not loyalty betrayed. I contemplate no disloyalty to Al Swearengen. I feel exposed. I don't like being weak, and I know that I am. I yearn to rely on a stronger will. I fear what I'm capable of in it's absence. Whereas you, Richardson, know nothing of yourself. Are you shitting or going blind? Or on foot or horseback? You vile fucking lump!
TV Show: Deadwood
Al: [after waking up from his "coma"] Did you fuck me when I was out?
Dan: Hell, no.
Al: Then quit looking at me like that.
Dan: Hell, no.
Al: Then quit looking at me like that.
TV Show: Deadwood
Richardson: I like you.
Alma: Thank you, Richardson.
Richardson: You’re purdy.
Alma: Thank you very much. And probably that’s all either of us needs to say on that subject ever again.
Alma: Thank you, Richardson.
Richardson: You’re purdy.
Alma: Thank you very much. And probably that’s all either of us needs to say on that subject ever again.
TV Show: Deadwood
Hugo: Had you vision as well as sight, you would recognize within me not only a man, but an institution and the future as well.
Steve: Fuck you, fuck the institution, and fuck the future!
Hugo: You cannot fuck the future, sir. The future fucks you.
Steve: Fuck you, fuck the institution, and fuck the future!
Hugo: You cannot fuck the future, sir. The future fucks you.
TV Show: Deadwood
Al: Do they understand how most of what happens is people being drunk and stupid and trying to find something else to blame besides that that makes their lives totally fucked? No. They don't.
TV Show: Deadwood
Doc Cochran: You, Al, are an object lesson in the healing powers of obstinacy and a hostile disposition.
TV Show: Deadwood