Deadwood Quotes
Calamity Jane: I drink what I’m able. If that comes to much, that’s the day’s affair and the liquor’s.
TV Show: Deadwood
A.W. Merrick: It was gunfire, and it came from your saloon.
Al Swearengen: Has not the press a duty, Merrick, qualifying its accounts in time of war?
A.W. Merrick: Are we at war now here in the camp? Has that fact been suppressed as well? Absent formal declaration, Al, information which affects this community is not my prerogative to disseminate. To do so is my sacred responsibility.
Al Swearengen: Whores currently disseminating a dose, for example?
A.W. Merrick: To inform within decency’s limits. We’ve had this discussion before.
Al Swearengen: Citizens better die postulating than touch indecent ink.
A.W. Merrick: Make a list of the infected whores and account for this morning’s gunfire, and I’ll publish it all.
Al Swearengen: I won’t, fucking Merrick, because neither’s to my fucking interests.
Al Swearengen: Has not the press a duty, Merrick, qualifying its accounts in time of war?
A.W. Merrick: Are we at war now here in the camp? Has that fact been suppressed as well? Absent formal declaration, Al, information which affects this community is not my prerogative to disseminate. To do so is my sacred responsibility.
Al Swearengen: Whores currently disseminating a dose, for example?
A.W. Merrick: To inform within decency’s limits. We’ve had this discussion before.
Al Swearengen: Citizens better die postulating than touch indecent ink.
A.W. Merrick: Make a list of the infected whores and account for this morning’s gunfire, and I’ll publish it all.
Al Swearengen: I won’t, fucking Merrick, because neither’s to my fucking interests.
TV Show: Deadwood
Hearst: To labor without pleasure makes us our destiny’s slaves.
Swearengen: To work for crumbs or to keep from the lash says maybe a slave’s what you are.
Swearengen: To work for crumbs or to keep from the lash says maybe a slave’s what you are.
TV Show: Deadwood
Hearst: Accepting your premise, Mr. Swearengen, I’ll not name how you would benefit from the action I wish you to take, saying only instead it’s my will. To which I will have you bend.
TV Show: Deadwood
Farnum: Puberty may bring you to understand what we take for mother-love is really murderous hatred and a desire for revenge.
TV Show: Deadwood
Dan: I’m older, and I’m much less friendly to fuckin’ change.
Al Swearengen: Change ain’t lookin’ for friends. Change calls the tune we dance to.
Al Swearengen: Change ain’t lookin’ for friends. Change calls the tune we dance to.
TV Show: Deadwood
A.W. Merrick: A. W. Merrick, Mr. Langrishe, publisher of "The Deadwood Pioneer."
Jack Langrishe: Ah! Accounting for the halo I see above you.
Al Swearengen: Shit blizzard’s early today.
Jack Langrishe: Ah! Accounting for the halo I see above you.
Al Swearengen: Shit blizzard’s early today.
TV Show: Deadwood
E.B. Farnham: [describing Mrs Ellsworth to Hearst] A haughty cunt. Formerly weak for dope. Most fundamentally a sexual peccant, though I’m sworn against providing specifics.
TV Show: Deadwood
Ellsworth: Whatever’s toward what he wants. Not a flying fuck if it’s true or how fucking soaked in blood.
Alma: That talk serves no purpose.
Ellsworth: What talk to a murderer does?
Hearst: I’d not be insulted in my own rooms, Mr. Ellsworth.
Ellsworth: Where shall we go for me to do it?
Alma: That talk serves no purpose.
Ellsworth: What talk to a murderer does?
Hearst: I’d not be insulted in my own rooms, Mr. Ellsworth.
Ellsworth: Where shall we go for me to do it?
TV Show: Deadwood
Al Swearengen: What makes you think any good will come of confronting Hearst now?
Seth Bullock: Now is when he’s killing people.
Al Swearengen: What, you feel he’ll leave off soon?
Seth Bullock: Tactics and timing ain’t the issue.
Al Swearengen: The hell you say.
Seth Bullock: Now is when he’s killing people.
Al Swearengen: What, you feel he’ll leave off soon?
Seth Bullock: Tactics and timing ain’t the issue.
Al Swearengen: The hell you say.
TV Show: Deadwood
Langrishe: Shall I accompany as your second? My obvious unsuitability might confuse him.
TV Show: Deadwood
Charlie Utter: Nigger General and Hostetler brung that horse back to camp that got away from ‘em and trampled the Sheriff’s boy.
Joanie Stubbs: Is that so?
Charlie Utter: Wherever the two of them was, I guess they didn’t feel their lives were in enough danger.
Joanie Stubbs: Is that so?
Charlie Utter: Wherever the two of them was, I guess they didn’t feel their lives were in enough danger.
TV Show: Deadwood
Al Swearengen: I did not shame myself. I keep an open mind in that area. Kid yourself about your behaviour, you'll never learn a fuckin' thing. I knew it was comin' too. Fuckin' Captain, holdin' me down. I knew what the fuck was next.
Dolly: When he chopped off your finger?
Al Swearengen: He didn't chop off my finger! Hearst chopped my fuckin' finger off; the other fuck held me down! They hold you down, y-you can't get at 'em to help yourself. Fuckin' cold in here anyway, isn't it?
Dolly: You want a blanket?
Al Swearengen: If I do I'll put it round me, you ain't boss of the fuckin' bedclothes! They hold you down from behind. Then you wonder why you're helpless. How the fuck could you not be?
Dolly: I don't like it either.
Al Swearengen: Another one that held me down, that fuckin' Proctor when I tried to get to that ship. He fuckin' held me, fuckin' wouldn't let me go. Fuckin' in my mind, y'see, she was being restrained, couldn't get back off, that had got on the boat to fuckin' New Orleans to go suck prick in Georgia. She changed her mind, and I was bein' restrained by that fat, bastard orphanage Proctor! Anyway, that's it, that's the end of it, that's the fuckin' conclusion ... CHRIST, I'D'VE WISHED TO- [catches himself] Though probably she'd'a thrown be overboard anyway, but I'd'a wished to get to that fuckin' ship. But I was bein' restrained. I couldn't get from where she'd left me. He held me to that bed, her callin' from the ship that had changed her mind.
Dolly[quietly]: I don't like it either.
Al Swearengen: No, huh? ... What?
Dolly: When they hold you down.
Al Swearengen: I guess I do that, huh, with your fuckin' hair?
Dolly: No
Al Swearengen: No?... Well, bless you for a fuckin' fibber.
Dolly: When he chopped off your finger?
Al Swearengen: He didn't chop off my finger! Hearst chopped my fuckin' finger off; the other fuck held me down! They hold you down, y-you can't get at 'em to help yourself. Fuckin' cold in here anyway, isn't it?
Dolly: You want a blanket?
Al Swearengen: If I do I'll put it round me, you ain't boss of the fuckin' bedclothes! They hold you down from behind. Then you wonder why you're helpless. How the fuck could you not be?
Dolly: I don't like it either.
Al Swearengen: Another one that held me down, that fuckin' Proctor when I tried to get to that ship. He fuckin' held me, fuckin' wouldn't let me go. Fuckin' in my mind, y'see, she was being restrained, couldn't get back off, that had got on the boat to fuckin' New Orleans to go suck prick in Georgia. She changed her mind, and I was bein' restrained by that fat, bastard orphanage Proctor! Anyway, that's it, that's the end of it, that's the fuckin' conclusion ... CHRIST, I'D'VE WISHED TO- [catches himself] Though probably she'd'a thrown be overboard anyway, but I'd'a wished to get to that fuckin' ship. But I was bein' restrained. I couldn't get from where she'd left me. He held me to that bed, her callin' from the ship that had changed her mind.
Dolly[quietly]: I don't like it either.
Al Swearengen: No, huh? ... What?
Dolly: When they hold you down.
Al Swearengen: I guess I do that, huh, with your fuckin' hair?
Dolly: No
Al Swearengen: No?... Well, bless you for a fuckin' fibber.
TV Show: Deadwood
Al Swearengen: [Hearst] makes of me and Tolliver a two-headed beast to savage what might be healthy borne out of the fucking election and gnaw its own privates off-hours. Plans keep coming to the cocksucker, that their final sum is this: but for what brings income to him, break what he can; what he can’t, set those parts against themselves to weaken.
TV Show: Deadwood
Johnny: If it's gettin' to go wrong, Dan, you just drop flat.
Dan: What the fuck did you just say?
Johnny: Drop flat if it's going wrong, and I'll blow his fucking head off
Dan: You do and it'll be the last goddamn thing you do on this fucking earth. Going wrong is not the end of fucking things, Johnny. Fuck no! I have come back from plenty of shit that looked like it was going wrong.
Dan: What the fuck did you just say?
Johnny: Drop flat if it's going wrong, and I'll blow his fucking head off
Dan: You do and it'll be the last goddamn thing you do on this fucking earth. Going wrong is not the end of fucking things, Johnny. Fuck no! I have come back from plenty of shit that looked like it was going wrong.
TV Show: Deadwood
Trixie: The bank’s founder and president, Chief Officer as well, of air-headed smugness and headlong plunges unawares into the fucking abyss.
Sol Star: I don’t understand.
Trixie: You wouldn’t. You’re too fucking healthy-minded. You’ll sit here waiting for me to materialize from a piece of fucking furniture and think the world is normal.
Sol Star: I don’t understand.
Trixie: You wouldn’t. You’re too fucking healthy-minded. You’ll sit here waiting for me to materialize from a piece of fucking furniture and think the world is normal.
TV Show: Deadwood
Johnny: I wish you'd look in on Dan, boss. Not for being poorly as... down.
Al Swearengen: Johnny... some shit's best walked through alone.
Johnny: Dan's killed people before. You have too. But neither've been solitary after
Al Swearengen: A fair fight, something Dan and I have always struggled to avoid, is different. You see the light go out in their eyes. It's just you left, and death.
Al Swearengen: Johnny... some shit's best walked through alone.
Johnny: Dan's killed people before. You have too. But neither've been solitary after
Al Swearengen: A fair fight, something Dan and I have always struggled to avoid, is different. You see the light go out in their eyes. It's just you left, and death.
TV Show: Deadwood
Hearst: [to Tolliver] The Sheriff recently put me on notice. He is vigilant of my possible "transgressions."
Bullock: You sound drunk to me.
Hearst: Whom are you addressing?
Bullock: You. You sound drunk.
Hearst: Do I? [Bullock nods] Hm. When I say "Go fuck yourself," Sheriff, will you put that down to drunkenness or a high estimate of your athleticism?
Bullock: [growing angry] Did you just tell me, "Fuck myself?"
Hearst: I think I did. And to shut up, or I will quiet you myself.
Bullock: You're under arrest.
Hearst: [defiantly] Fuck you. And shut up, or I will shut you up for good.
[Bullock draws his gun on Hearst.]
Bullock: For threatening a Peace Officer, I'm taking you into custody.
Hearst: Don't be stupid, Bullock...
Bullock: Don't YOU be fucking stupid!
[Bullock grabs Hearst by the ear and drags him out of the Bella Union. His rage seething, he snarls into Hearst's ear: ]
Bullock: Fuck...you!
Bullock: You sound drunk to me.
Hearst: Whom are you addressing?
Bullock: You. You sound drunk.
Hearst: Do I? [Bullock nods] Hm. When I say "Go fuck yourself," Sheriff, will you put that down to drunkenness or a high estimate of your athleticism?
Bullock: [growing angry] Did you just tell me, "Fuck myself?"
Hearst: I think I did. And to shut up, or I will quiet you myself.
Bullock: You're under arrest.
Hearst: [defiantly] Fuck you. And shut up, or I will shut you up for good.
[Bullock draws his gun on Hearst.]
Bullock: For threatening a Peace Officer, I'm taking you into custody.
Hearst: Don't be stupid, Bullock...
Bullock: Don't YOU be fucking stupid!
[Bullock grabs Hearst by the ear and drags him out of the Bella Union. His rage seething, he snarls into Hearst's ear: ]
Bullock: Fuck...you!
TV Show: Deadwood
E.B. Farnham: It’s Hearst. Hearst: is he Caesar, to have fights to the death for diversion? Murder his workers at whim? Smash passages in the fucking wall? A man of less wealth would be in fucking restraints.
Al: We’re in the presence of the new.
E.B.: Fuck the fucking new! Jesus Christ, Al. Is it over for us here?
Al: We’re in the presence of the new.
E.B.: Fuck the fucking new! Jesus Christ, Al. Is it over for us here?
TV Show: Deadwood
Charlie Utter: One thing: if he knew it was coming, Bill [Hickock] was not shy of drawing first.
Sol: Seth locked up Hearst instead of that.
Charlie Utter: Oh, I get it.
Sol: What does that mean?
Charlie Utter: It means, Mr. Star, after leading him by the ear through camp for all to fucking see, Seth installs Hearst in a cell adjoining a man he’s had killed, that the knife still protrudes out of his chest. And as much as me and Hearst conversed, I made him address my ass. So do let’s don’t pretend Hearst will feel he was treated legal or civilized, or that his business with us is finished. Hearst is fucking coming. Bringing us back to Bill and doing unto others first. Which ought maybe include a visit to Hearst’s fucking diggings. And his muscle you fail to murder before they arouse? You bring to chase you to camp, Judas goat the cocksuckers, for Swearengen’s men and Tolliver’s to mow down from fucking ambush while we’re up seeing to Hearst.
Sol: There’ll be nothing left of the camp.
Charlie Utter: How much you figure will stand once Hearst had his fucking say?
Sol: Seth locked up Hearst instead of that.
Charlie Utter: Oh, I get it.
Sol: What does that mean?
Charlie Utter: It means, Mr. Star, after leading him by the ear through camp for all to fucking see, Seth installs Hearst in a cell adjoining a man he’s had killed, that the knife still protrudes out of his chest. And as much as me and Hearst conversed, I made him address my ass. So do let’s don’t pretend Hearst will feel he was treated legal or civilized, or that his business with us is finished. Hearst is fucking coming. Bringing us back to Bill and doing unto others first. Which ought maybe include a visit to Hearst’s fucking diggings. And his muscle you fail to murder before they arouse? You bring to chase you to camp, Judas goat the cocksuckers, for Swearengen’s men and Tolliver’s to mow down from fucking ambush while we’re up seeing to Hearst.
Sol: There’ll be nothing left of the camp.
Charlie Utter: How much you figure will stand once Hearst had his fucking say?
TV Show: Deadwood
Al Swearengen: That they’re armed and awake don’t have to mean they’re fucking hired.
Dan Dority: Yeah, and when I feel a shit coming on I’ll remember to drop my pants.
Al Swearengen: The obvious merits utterance. Character is fucking pertinent.
Dan Dority: If I’m to go, I’d as soon get started before the darkness.
Al Swearengen: Going means the darkness is upon us.
Dan Dority: Yeah, and when I feel a shit coming on I’ll remember to drop my pants.
Al Swearengen: The obvious merits utterance. Character is fucking pertinent.
Dan Dority: If I’m to go, I’d as soon get started before the darkness.
Al Swearengen: Going means the darkness is upon us.
TV Show: Deadwood
Seth: Charlie Utter thinks it has to come to blood.
Al: Charlie Utter’s likely right.
Seth: And if it has to, that we should strike first.
Al: Believe me, even now in the forest the blade would be between my teeth; me and you making our way stealthily forward. And as to us and him, if blood’s what it finally comes to, 100 years from now the forest is what they’ll find here. Dewy morning’s lost its appeal for me. I prefer to wake indoors. Dan! You don’t travel tonight! Need of canned peaches, Johnny. Let’s collect the camp elders. Be baffled among friends, huh?
Al: Charlie Utter’s likely right.
Seth: And if it has to, that we should strike first.
Al: Believe me, even now in the forest the blade would be between my teeth; me and you making our way stealthily forward. And as to us and him, if blood’s what it finally comes to, 100 years from now the forest is what they’ll find here. Dewy morning’s lost its appeal for me. I prefer to wake indoors. Dan! You don’t travel tonight! Need of canned peaches, Johnny. Let’s collect the camp elders. Be baffled among friends, huh?
TV Show: Deadwood
George Hearst: I knocked holes in these walls. Confinement gives me the fidgets.
Odell: Set yourself up comfortable.
George Hearst: Let me confide as well, Odell, that when people only say to me with other words what I have just said to them, I quickly grow impatient.
Odell: Set yourself up comfortable.
George Hearst: Let me confide as well, Odell, that when people only say to me with other words what I have just said to them, I quickly grow impatient.
TV Show: Deadwood
George Hearst: Gold is every man’s opportunity. Why do I make that argument? Because every defect in a man and in others a way of taking him. Our agreement that gold has value gives us power to rise above.
Odell: Fond as you are of my mother, without that gold I showed you, I don’t expect we’d be out here talking.
George Hearst: That is correct. And for your effrontery at our meal a moment ago, I’d have seen you shot or hanged without second thought. The value I gave the gold restrained me, you see? your utility in connection to it. And because of my gold those at the other tables deferred to my restraint. Gold confers power. Power comes to any man who has the color.
Odell: Fond as you are of my mother, without that gold I showed you, I don’t expect we’d be out here talking.
George Hearst: That is correct. And for your effrontery at our meal a moment ago, I’d have seen you shot or hanged without second thought. The value I gave the gold restrained me, you see? your utility in connection to it. And because of my gold those at the other tables deferred to my restraint. Gold confers power. Power comes to any man who has the color.
TV Show: Deadwood
Blazanov: Fuck confidentiality of communication.
Al Swearengen: Why not fuck a woman instead?
Blazanov: Hope to, eventually.
Al Swearengen: Why not fuck a woman instead?
Blazanov: Hope to, eventually.
TV Show: Deadwood
Hearst: I hate these places, Odell, because the truth that I know, the promise that I bring, the necessities I'm prepared to accept make me outcast. Isn't that foolish? Isn't that foolishness? An old man disabused long ago of certain yearnings and hopes as to how he would be held by his fellows, and yet I weep.
TV Show: Deadwood
Al Swearengen: [to Doc] Jesus Christ! The fucking gimp finds something useful to do in the fucking brace you made her. Do you think you could treat "Being Johnny" — always struggling to fashion a fuckin' thought? Every fucking night, I, that could cut a throat and sleep the sleep of the just, spend six fucking wakings trying to fill a piss-pot with my dribble and wondering when I got to be so old. [throws swatches down to Doc] Pick a fucking swatch for a spit rag, use the others for masks, and go about your fucking business. I ain't learning a new doc's quirks!
TV Show: Deadwood
George Hearst: I’m to take you for majestically neutral?
Merrick: I’d make the less exalted claim, as a journalist, of keeping my opinions to myself.
George Hearst: You are less majestically neutral than cloaking your cowardice in principle?
Merrick: I can only answer perhaps, Mr. Hearst, events have not yet disclosed to me all that I am.
Merrick: I’d make the less exalted claim, as a journalist, of keeping my opinions to myself.
George Hearst: You are less majestically neutral than cloaking your cowardice in principle?
Merrick: I can only answer perhaps, Mr. Hearst, events have not yet disclosed to me all that I am.
TV Show: Deadwood