CSI - Crime Scene Investigation Quotes
Sara: You told me a few weeks ago that nothing is personal. No victim should be special. Everyone follows your lead.
Grissom: Everyone didn't find that baby. I did. And that little boy is dead because someone lost their temper or screwed up, or god knows what. So, excuse me, but this victim is special.
Grissom: Everyone didn't find that baby. I did. And that little boy is dead because someone lost their temper or screwed up, or god knows what. So, excuse me, but this victim is special.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
[After getting punched in the head by a paparazzo]
Catherine: [Hands him an ice pack] Ice.
Grissom: I don't need this.
Catherine: Just do it.
[Grissom holds the ice pack on his head]
Catherine: [Hands him an ice pack] Ice.
Grissom: I don't need this.
Catherine: Just do it.
[Grissom holds the ice pack on his head]
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine: You're an average family, burdened with a tragedy that put you under a microscope. That close, nobody can look good.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
[Grissom walks in with Dr. Gilbert, the female president of the School for the Deaf]
Sara: So that's why Grissom's late.
Warrick: You just don't like other women in his life.
Sara: I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that.
Sara: So that's why Grissom's late.
Warrick: You just don't like other women in his life.
Sara: I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
[Grissom wouldn't tell them how he learned sign language]
Sara: [coming into the room] What was that all about? Grissom signs?
Warrick: What does Grissom drink when he goes out at night?
Sara: He goes out?
Warrick: Exactly. Who knows anything about that guy?
Sara: [coming into the room] What was that all about? Grissom signs?
Warrick: What does Grissom drink when he goes out at night?
Sara: He goes out?
Warrick: Exactly. Who knows anything about that guy?
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Greg: I am the man.
Warrick: Why, what'd you do? Let me guess, you ran a DNA profile on the blood from the dead guy's knuckles and you got a match?
Greg: No.
Grissom: You ran a DNA profile and something very distinctive popped up?
Greg: Not quite.
Warrick: You made it out of bed and you dressed yourself?
Greg: ...no.
Warrick: Why, what'd you do? Let me guess, you ran a DNA profile on the blood from the dead guy's knuckles and you got a match?
Greg: No.
Grissom: You ran a DNA profile and something very distinctive popped up?
Greg: Not quite.
Warrick: You made it out of bed and you dressed yourself?
Greg: ...no.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
[Catherine and Sara have just seized a carnival as evidence and Sara is grinning madly]
Catherine: [annoyed] What?
Sara: Well, this is fun.
Catherine: As opposed to...?
Sara: A more scientific approach.
Catherine: [annoyed] What?
Sara: Well, this is fun.
Catherine: As opposed to...?
Sara: A more scientific approach.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Dr. Hillridge: [to Grissom] I guess one man's corpse is another man's candy. Care for a sip? Full of folacin.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Dr. Hillridge: You want an empirical experience...I've got a fresh one [protein powder shake made from human organs] in my fridge.
[Grissom looks away. An officer leads Dr. Hillridge away]
Officer: She is nuts, right?
Grissom: She's a cold blooded killer.
[Grissom looks away. An officer leads Dr. Hillridge away]
Officer: She is nuts, right?
Grissom: She's a cold blooded killer.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: [Looking at detached head] It means 6 - 8 hours ago someone lost their head and then... someone lost their head.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Warrick: [Sitting in a rollercoaster seat] Whatever happened to my evaluation?
Grissom: You're sitting in it!
Grissom: You're sitting in it!
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
[Grissom and Catherine are examining a head]
Grissom: Do you think a woman could've done this?
Catherine: I could.
[Grissom glances at her, then back to the head]
Grissom: Scared of you...
Grissom: Do you think a woman could've done this?
Catherine: I could.
[Grissom glances at her, then back to the head]
Grissom: Scared of you...
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: The last time a security guard tried to help me, he ended up dead.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine: So, what, this guy has some strange chemical in his mutated DNA?
Greg: Freaky, huh?
Catherine: Freakiest semen I've seen in a while.
Greg: Freaky, huh?
Catherine: Freakiest semen I've seen in a while.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Warrick: Black tar heroin. This is the difference between a Cadillac and a Pinto.
Brass: How would you know?
Warrick: It's my job. I count at least six balloons, and that's just in the bedroom. The dealer must have come down the chimney. It's like Christmas in July here. Not that Braun even needed any more drugs.
Brass: Yeah, looks like the guy had a pill for everything. Can you get a print off those balloons?
Warrick: I can get a print off the air.
Brass: How would you know?
Warrick: It's my job. I count at least six balloons, and that's just in the bedroom. The dealer must have come down the chimney. It's like Christmas in July here. Not that Braun even needed any more drugs.
Brass: Yeah, looks like the guy had a pill for everything. Can you get a print off those balloons?
Warrick: I can get a print off the air.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Janine Haywood: I told you I dropped them down the bathroom sink.
Brass: First time I heard that.
Janine Haywood: Look, I took two, gave Tony two and I accidentally dropped fifteen or twenty down the sink. It was an accident. You know, an accident? Haven't you ever spilled a drink?
Catherine: Not lately. We found fifty Xanax in Tony's stomach.
Janine Haywood: Don't pin that on me. I'd left.
Catherine: I'll tell you what you left -- your fingerprints all over the prescription bottle.
Janine Haywood: I went to the pharmacy waited in line picked up the prescription signed for it brought it back to the house. You know, Tony did nothing for himself except work and get high.
Brass: Got you a brand-new Mercedes, didn't it?
Janine Haywood: Yes, it did. And it'll buy me the dress I wear at Tony's funeral, too.
Brass: Look, when you left your half a house where did you go?
Janine Haywood: A friend's.
Brass: Well, let's get her on the line.
Janine Haywood: She's out of town.
Brass: Let me guess -- she's incommunicado.
Janine Haywood: That means you can't reach her? Yeah.
Brass: First time I heard that.
Janine Haywood: Look, I took two, gave Tony two and I accidentally dropped fifteen or twenty down the sink. It was an accident. You know, an accident? Haven't you ever spilled a drink?
Catherine: Not lately. We found fifty Xanax in Tony's stomach.
Janine Haywood: Don't pin that on me. I'd left.
Catherine: I'll tell you what you left -- your fingerprints all over the prescription bottle.
Janine Haywood: I went to the pharmacy waited in line picked up the prescription signed for it brought it back to the house. You know, Tony did nothing for himself except work and get high.
Brass: Got you a brand-new Mercedes, didn't it?
Janine Haywood: Yes, it did. And it'll buy me the dress I wear at Tony's funeral, too.
Brass: Look, when you left your half a house where did you go?
Janine Haywood: A friend's.
Brass: Well, let's get her on the line.
Janine Haywood: She's out of town.
Brass: Let me guess -- she's incommunicado.
Janine Haywood: That means you can't reach her? Yeah.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: In the last 48 hours have you been anywhere else besides those two places?
Walt Braun: No. My life's pretty routine.
Grissom: It might just get a little more routine.
Walt Braun: No. My life's pretty routine.
Grissom: It might just get a little more routine.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine: [to Grissom] Is this part of the Sherlock Holmes Fan Club Kit?
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: It's been 24 minutes, Greg. When is this thing going to be done?
Greg: Well, with all due respect sir, it's not a baked potato. Did I ever tell you I used to live in New York?
Grissom: Is this going to be a short story or a novel?
[The mass spectrometer beeps and gives out the test results]
Greg: Excuse me. You know, heroin has a nine-minute half-life. After that, it metabolizes into morphine.
Grissom: What's the 6-MAM count?
Greg: A hundred fifty-eight nanograms per mil. Definitely not lethal. The same with your Xanax. Quarter-mil tabs, hundred micrograms per liter. Again, not lethal. There's addicts walking around Times Square with more drugs in their system.
Grissom: So Braun should still be walking around.
[Grissom turns to leave but stops]
Grissom: ...and the point of your New York story was...?
Greg: Oh, I was just going to tell you about another way to take heroin.. a suppository up the coolee. You just stand on your head, and then you let gravity...forget it!
Greg: Well, with all due respect sir, it's not a baked potato. Did I ever tell you I used to live in New York?
Grissom: Is this going to be a short story or a novel?
[The mass spectrometer beeps and gives out the test results]
Greg: Excuse me. You know, heroin has a nine-minute half-life. After that, it metabolizes into morphine.
Grissom: What's the 6-MAM count?
Greg: A hundred fifty-eight nanograms per mil. Definitely not lethal. The same with your Xanax. Quarter-mil tabs, hundred micrograms per liter. Again, not lethal. There's addicts walking around Times Square with more drugs in their system.
Grissom: So Braun should still be walking around.
[Grissom turns to leave but stops]
Grissom: ...and the point of your New York story was...?
Greg: Oh, I was just going to tell you about another way to take heroin.. a suppository up the coolee. You just stand on your head, and then you let gravity...forget it!
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Greg: Oh, is that alcohol on a bug bite? That's like butter on burns, man. Wives' tale.
Nick: Yeah, this is the guy who told me to put hemorrhoid cream on my acne.
Greg: Worked, didn't it?
Nick: Yeah, this is the guy who told me to put hemorrhoid cream on my acne.
Greg: Worked, didn't it?
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sam Braun: I remember the first time I saw you. You didn't have any clothes on.
Catherine: Yeah, well, that was a long time ago.
Sam Braun: I would've taken you home right then if I could have.
Catherine: I know, but you were married and I was a baby. It would've never worked!
Catherine: Yeah, well, that was a long time ago.
Sam Braun: I would've taken you home right then if I could have.
Catherine: I know, but you were married and I was a baby. It would've never worked!
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine: Who is this?
Brass: It's Braun's squeeze. She's an ex-stripper too. Perhaps you two met in a professional capacity.
Catherine: And, uh, where has she been the past 12 hours?
Brass: Uh, let's see. [he pulls out his notebook] Quote: "Out." Endquote.
Brass: It's Braun's squeeze. She's an ex-stripper too. Perhaps you two met in a professional capacity.
Catherine: And, uh, where has she been the past 12 hours?
Brass: Uh, let's see. [he pulls out his notebook] Quote: "Out." Endquote.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Brass: [to a suspect] Newsflash, sweetheart. You can't make a deal if you keep your mouth shut.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: Would you mind if I took a picture for my bite collection?
Walt Braun: Whatever rubs your Buddha.
Walt Braun: Whatever rubs your Buddha.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: Did you try this coffee?
Nick: Mm-mm.
Grissom: The last cup I had tasted like motor oil.
[Greg runs in]
Greg: Oh, don't touch it. That's my pot!
Grissom: Your pot?
Greg: Yeah, you know, from my own private stash. Blue Hawaiian -- $40 a pound. Only grown a couple times a year on the Big Island hand-picked to perfection.
Grissom: Good. You're using my water so I guess that makes it community coffee.
Nick: Mm-mm.
Grissom: The last cup I had tasted like motor oil.
[Greg runs in]
Greg: Oh, don't touch it. That's my pot!
Grissom: Your pot?
Greg: Yeah, you know, from my own private stash. Blue Hawaiian -- $40 a pound. Only grown a couple times a year on the Big Island hand-picked to perfection.
Grissom: Good. You're using my water so I guess that makes it community coffee.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Greg: Well, this is one way to get her DNA. Bring me her whole life.
Sara: It's called zeal, Greg.
Greg: Or overkill.
Grissom: It's called protocol. Let's get on with it.
Sara: It's called zeal, Greg.
Greg: Or overkill.
Grissom: It's called protocol. Let's get on with it.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: Friedrich Miescher requests my presence?
Greg: Figured out my code huh? Well you know my boy, Freddie, discovered DNA.
Grissom: He's been dead a hundred years, Greg.
Greg: Figured out my code huh? Well you know my boy, Freddie, discovered DNA.
Grissom: He's been dead a hundred years, Greg.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Henry McFadden: Paige and I dated once or twice. She wasn't my type. If you haven't noticed... I'm in the system now. The talent pool's pretty deep.
Nick: She dumped you!
Nick: She dumped you!
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: We told them what happened.
Catherine: Yeah. But we didn't give them what they needed... closure.
Grissom: Truth brings closure.
Catherine: Not always.
Catherine: Yeah. But we didn't give them what they needed... closure.
Grissom: Truth brings closure.
Catherine: Not always.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation