CSI - Crime Scene Investigation Quotes
Grissom: A, B, C, D or all of the above. Standoff with the police -- guy gets shot in the chest, runs back into his burning house inhaling smoke as he goes. The roof collapses the air conditioning unit falls on his head, he dies. What killed him?
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sara: Guys...If you jump a guy at the exit, he dies at the exit.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: If just one person had stopped and taken the time to look at the guy to listen to him, to figure out what was wrong with him it might not have happened. It took five people to kill him. It would have only taken one person to save his life.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: No, Sara's gonna work with me. You've got a missing person, Sheryl Applegate. Her husband notified the police that she took the car and headed to LA, but she never showed up. A few hours ago, the PD found her car at the bus station. They requested a CSI.
Nick: She took the bus instead, case solved. [grins]
Grissom: Well, right now, treat her car like a crime scene. [tilts his head to the side] Go.
Nick: She took the bus instead, case solved. [grins]
Grissom: Well, right now, treat her car like a crime scene. [tilts his head to the side] Go.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: You've still got to convince a jury.
Sara: On guns. It's got to be better than bugs. Less Latin.
Sara: On guns. It's got to be better than bugs. Less Latin.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sara: You're the one who's always saying it's better to have one piece of forensic evidence than ten eyewitnesses.
Grissom: What, do you tape everything I say?
Grissom: What, do you tape everything I say?
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Scott Shelton: [after Sara discovers blood that has been wiped clean off the wall] I have no idea how it got there.
Sara: Oh... How it got there was when you shot your wife in the head, wrapped her in a blanket and left her on the side of a mountain. Dead!
[points her finger in his face]
Scott Shelton: Get that finger out of my face bitch!
[they fight]
Brass: Stop! That's enough! [to Grissom] Get her under control!
Grissom: Get him out of here, Jim!
Scott Shelton: Told you she was a handful.
Sara: Oh, you don't know a handful!
Grissom: Hey, Sara, what's the matter with you?
Sara: I am a woman, and I have a gun and look how he treated me! I can only imagine how he treated his wife!
Sara: Oh... How it got there was when you shot your wife in the head, wrapped her in a blanket and left her on the side of a mountain. Dead!
[points her finger in his face]
Scott Shelton: Get that finger out of my face bitch!
[they fight]
Brass: Stop! That's enough! [to Grissom] Get her under control!
Grissom: Get him out of here, Jim!
Scott Shelton: Told you she was a handful.
Sara: Oh, you don't know a handful!
Grissom: Hey, Sara, what's the matter with you?
Sara: I am a woman, and I have a gun and look how he treated me! I can only imagine how he treated his wife!
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: You have empathy for her, Sara. You want someone to pay for what was done to her. That's normal.
Sara: You want to sleep with me?
Grissom: Did you just say what I think you did?
Sara: That way, when I wake up in cold sweat under the blanket, hearing Kaye's screams ... You can tell me it's nothing. It's just empathy.
Sara: You want to sleep with me?
Grissom: Did you just say what I think you did?
Sara: That way, when I wake up in cold sweat under the blanket, hearing Kaye's screams ... You can tell me it's nothing. It's just empathy.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Brass: So it took longer for the insects to get in there?
Grissom: And deposit their eggs. Maybe two whole days. I've wrapped porky here pretty tight.
Grissom: And deposit their eggs. Maybe two whole days. I've wrapped porky here pretty tight.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Brass: Wouldn't a rabbit be easier?
Grissom: Gotta be a pig. Interestingly, they're the most like humans.
Brass: Yeah, I've been saying that since I was a rookie. You're on your own, pal.
Grissom: Gotta be a pig. Interestingly, they're the most like humans.
Brass: Yeah, I've been saying that since I was a rookie. You're on your own, pal.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, the worms play pinochle on your snout.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: How ya doing Jim? How's your old job?
Brass: I can sling scum all day. You?
Grissom: I curse more.
Brass: Oh yeah? Well wait.
Brass: I can sling scum all day. You?
Grissom: I curse more.
Brass: Oh yeah? Well wait.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: You don't have a worry that technology is gonna make us obsolete?
Catherine: No.
Catherine: No.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: [eats some mustard that has dropped on the leg of a trolley]
Brass: Oh, that's sanitary.
Brass: Oh, that's sanitary.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sara: Grissom reinstated you.
Warrick: And you have a problem with that.
Sara: Let me guess. Grissom gets you to dime yourself off and now you both feel better? You're supposed to be in court. Instead, you're placing bets for a cheap thrill to satisfy nothing.
Warrick: Hey! This has nothing to do with you. So are we going to work together...or not?
Sara: I'm already working.
Warrick: And you have a problem with that.
Sara: Let me guess. Grissom gets you to dime yourself off and now you both feel better? You're supposed to be in court. Instead, you're placing bets for a cheap thrill to satisfy nothing.
Warrick: Hey! This has nothing to do with you. So are we going to work together...or not?
Sara: I'm already working.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Warrick: What's that?
Grissom: You...at the Monaco Casino.
Warrick: What? I don't believe this. Now you're pulling up film on me?
Grissom: Casinos tape everyone who walks through their door, Warrick, you know that. I thought we had a deal.
Warrick: We do.
Grissom: Look, what you do on your time is nobody's business. What you do on my time is my business. [Warrick sighs and sits down]
Warrick: I was at the casino. But I wasn't gambling. [Grissom sits and listens to what he has to say, screen cuts to a different scene]
Grissom: You...at the Monaco Casino.
Warrick: What? I don't believe this. Now you're pulling up film on me?
Grissom: Casinos tape everyone who walks through their door, Warrick, you know that. I thought we had a deal.
Warrick: We do.
Grissom: Look, what you do on your time is nobody's business. What you do on my time is my business. [Warrick sighs and sits down]
Warrick: I was at the casino. But I wasn't gambling. [Grissom sits and listens to what he has to say, screen cuts to a different scene]
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: [reading] I've killed 5 women...catch me if you can.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: Sara Sidle. 419. [Grissom hands the assignment sheet to Sara]
Sara: Dead body -- bonus.
Catherine: Whoa, somebody likes their job.
Grissom: Nick Stokes. 416, fight at the Bellagio. She says she's a friend of yours.
Catherine: Ex-girlfriend, Nick?
Nick: Well, that depends. Was she the assaulter of the assaultee?
Sara: You tell us, you like leather or lace?
Nick: [chuckles] No, I'm not even going there. [turns to leave, but turns back] Lace! [Sara smiles]
Sara: Dead body -- bonus.
Catherine: Whoa, somebody likes their job.
Grissom: Nick Stokes. 416, fight at the Bellagio. She says she's a friend of yours.
Catherine: Ex-girlfriend, Nick?
Nick: Well, that depends. Was she the assaulter of the assaultee?
Sara: You tell us, you like leather or lace?
Nick: [chuckles] No, I'm not even going there. [turns to leave, but turns back] Lace! [Sara smiles]
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: [about a frozen body] And she's stiff...like a two-minute burrito that's only been nukes for a minute.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Brass: A kid from a crime lab doing favors for a hooker, can't make the unit look too good, huh, boss?
Grissom: Yeah, well, I'll get into it.
Brass: I bet that's just what Nicky said.
Catherine: [walking past them and toward the crime scene] You two ladies done talking? It's hot out here.
Grissom: Yeah, well, I'll get into it.
Brass: I bet that's just what Nicky said.
Catherine: [walking past them and toward the crime scene] You two ladies done talking? It's hot out here.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Nick: I need your shirt.
Kristy: Why is it every time we meet you're wanting me to take my clothes off?
Nick: Because every time we meet you put yourself in a position where you have to take them off.
Kristy: Why is it every time we meet you're wanting me to take my clothes off?
Nick: Because every time we meet you put yourself in a position where you have to take them off.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
[Nick walks into Grissom's office triggering his Big Mouth Billy Bass]
Grissom: That's my Big Mouth Billy Bass. It's better than a watch dog. I got some valuable stiff in here.
Nick: Yeah, I'm sure lots of people would want to steal your two headed scorpion and Miss Piggy.
Grissom: That's my Big Mouth Billy Bass. It's better than a watch dog. I got some valuable stiff in here.
Nick: Yeah, I'm sure lots of people would want to steal your two headed scorpion and Miss Piggy.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Greg: '[about Kristy's shirt] Now, I've done this procedure on jeans and leather jackets but never on something like this. It's very see through. Very Jennifer Lopez.
Nick: Down boy.
Greg: It's going to be a tough one to prove. This is only step one. You see, when a person talks saliva naturally comes out of their mouth. Let's say that we're tossing the hog back and forth, right? [as he talks the camera makes note of the saliva that comes out of his mouth naturally in illustration of what he just said] What can you tell me about the hottie that goes inside this blouse, huh? Is it true she's a friend of yours?
Nick: What, is it on the internet? Might as well be. Just remember that.
Greg: My saliva is getting on you, your saliva is getting on me.
Nick: Gross. [Greg grabs a spray pump and sprays it on the paper] What's that stuff?
Greg: Starch and iodine. If this is saliva, we're going to get the old dalmatian effect. So, Nick, uh, if I wanted to meet this friend of yours...?
Nick: No.
Greg: Figured. [Greg sprays the paper] That's a pretty big spot. That's more than just a spray. In fact, looks like a distinct glob of spit.
Nick: Then Kristy was telling the truth. But it doesn't mean it was the security guard's spit.
Greg: Step three.
Nick: I'm going to need a sample.
Greg: Well, the guy knows he did it. He's not going to cough it up.
Nick: If you saw the girl that went with this blouse...you'd try.
Nick: Down boy.
Greg: It's going to be a tough one to prove. This is only step one. You see, when a person talks saliva naturally comes out of their mouth. Let's say that we're tossing the hog back and forth, right? [as he talks the camera makes note of the saliva that comes out of his mouth naturally in illustration of what he just said] What can you tell me about the hottie that goes inside this blouse, huh? Is it true she's a friend of yours?
Nick: What, is it on the internet? Might as well be. Just remember that.
Greg: My saliva is getting on you, your saliva is getting on me.
Nick: Gross. [Greg grabs a spray pump and sprays it on the paper] What's that stuff?
Greg: Starch and iodine. If this is saliva, we're going to get the old dalmatian effect. So, Nick, uh, if I wanted to meet this friend of yours...?
Nick: No.
Greg: Figured. [Greg sprays the paper] That's a pretty big spot. That's more than just a spray. In fact, looks like a distinct glob of spit.
Nick: Then Kristy was telling the truth. But it doesn't mean it was the security guard's spit.
Greg: Step three.
Nick: I'm going to need a sample.
Greg: Well, the guy knows he did it. He's not going to cough it up.
Nick: If you saw the girl that went with this blouse...you'd try.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sara: [storms in, angrily] You weren't in your office.
Grissom: And good morning to you Miss Sidle.
Grissom: And good morning to you Miss Sidle.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine: You know how you're always pushing that Holy Trinity stuff?
Grissom: Father, son and Holy Ghost?
Catherine: Victim, suspect and crime scene.
Grissom: Oh, that one.
Grissom: Father, son and Holy Ghost?
Catherine: Victim, suspect and crime scene.
Grissom: Oh, that one.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Jail Inmate: Yo Grissom! [hits the inmate next to him] This guy is the reason I'm in here. A shoe print! [to Grissom] Yo next time I go barefoot!
Grissom: Even better, footprints.
Grissom: Even better, footprints.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sara: He's been out of work ever since.
Grissom: Sittin' around makin' bombs..
Grissom: Sittin' around makin' bombs..
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation