Cheers Quotes
Cliff: Sometimes I'm ashamed God made me a man.
Carla: I don't think God's doing a whole lot of bragging about it either.
Carla: I don't think God's doing a whole lot of bragging about it either.
TV Show: Cheers
Phillip: That's the face I've been looking for.
Diane: Sorry, I'm still using it. I could let you visit it on weekends.
Diane: Sorry, I'm still using it. I could let you visit it on weekends.
TV Show: Cheers
Norm: I know what you mean, Sam. Once the trust goes out of a relationship, it's really no fun lying to them anymore.
TV Show: Cheers
Diane: Oh my God Sam, I've made you a babbling idiot.
Sam: Who are you calling a babbling idiot?
Diane: You don't have to get upset. I'm actually criticizing myself.
Sam: You just called me a babbling idiot and you're criticizing yourself? Do me a favor let me criticize me for awhile. You're sickening.
Sam: Who are you calling a babbling idiot?
Diane: You don't have to get upset. I'm actually criticizing myself.
Sam: You just called me a babbling idiot and you're criticizing yourself? Do me a favor let me criticize me for awhile. You're sickening.
TV Show: Cheers
Diane: Do you know the difference between you and a fat, braying ass?
Sam: Nope.
Diane: The fat, braying ass would.
Sam: Speaking of fat, braying asses, you're about to get dumped on yours.
[Diane slaps Sam, he slaps her back]
Diane: How dare you slap me!
[Diane slaps Sam again, he slaps her back again]
Diane: Don't you ever hit me again!
Sam: Like hell.
[They carry on slapping each other]
Sam: Nope.
Diane: The fat, braying ass would.
Sam: Speaking of fat, braying asses, you're about to get dumped on yours.
[Diane slaps Sam, he slaps her back]
Diane: How dare you slap me!
[Diane slaps Sam again, he slaps her back again]
Diane: Don't you ever hit me again!
Sam: Like hell.
[They carry on slapping each other]
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: I didn't start drinking when she left, I was celebrating. [to Diane] Celebrating the day I got rid of you. You hear that everybody?
Everyone: Celebrating.
Diane: Well let me tell you something, Sam. I have two birthdays now. One to mark the occasion when my mother bore me and one to commemorate my glorious rebirth when I walked out of here.
Sam: Just one more time: you did not walk out of here. I kicked you out and I would do it again except that no man deserves that much pleasure in one's life.
Everyone: Celebrating.
Diane: Well let me tell you something, Sam. I have two birthdays now. One to mark the occasion when my mother bore me and one to commemorate my glorious rebirth when I walked out of here.
Sam: Just one more time: you did not walk out of here. I kicked you out and I would do it again except that no man deserves that much pleasure in one's life.
TV Show: Cheers
Frasier: Carla, why do you keep building walls between you and everyone else?
Carla: Have you taken a good look at everyone else [in the bar]?
Frasier: Touché.
Carla: Have you taken a good look at everyone else [in the bar]?
Frasier: Touché.
TV Show: Cheers
Diane: Oh Frasier, I think I'm going to come back to work here.
Frasier: What?! No no no no no no. Listen as Frasier Crane M.D. I don't think that's a good idea for the two of you. And as Frasier Crane Man I don't think it's a good idea for the three of us.
Frasier: What?! No no no no no no. Listen as Frasier Crane M.D. I don't think that's a good idea for the two of you. And as Frasier Crane Man I don't think it's a good idea for the three of us.
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: I could get out of prison after twelve years, serve on an all male ship for another four and be dropped on a desert island for another three eating nothing but raw oysters day after day and if one day Diane walked out of the surf naked, all I'd want from her is the hockey scores.
Diane: And you wouldn't even get that!
Diane: And you wouldn't even get that!
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: Is there anything I can do?
Diane: No. This problem is strictly between myself and Frasier Crane. Suffice to say, he insists on making mountains out of molehills.
Carla: He wants you to wear a padded bra?
Diane: No. This problem is strictly between myself and Frasier Crane. Suffice to say, he insists on making mountains out of molehills.
Carla: He wants you to wear a padded bra?
TV Show: Cheers
Carla: Eddie's got an extra ticket to the RV show for tonight, Coach. How's that sound?
Coach: Terrific.
Carla: Well go ahead. I'll cover for ya.
Coach: Hot dog!
Carla: Some luck, huh Eddie?
Eddie: Well, I guess I'm not going to get a good night kiss.
Carla: You might if you're nice to him.
Coach: Terrific.
Carla: Well go ahead. I'll cover for ya.
Coach: Hot dog!
Carla: Some luck, huh Eddie?
Eddie: Well, I guess I'm not going to get a good night kiss.
Carla: You might if you're nice to him.
TV Show: Cheers
Diane: I haven't had such a good time since uh....
Sam: That's okay. I know when you stopped having a good time, Diane.
Diane: It goes without saying I would have had a better time if I had gone with Frasier.
Sam: Me too.
Sam: That's okay. I know when you stopped having a good time, Diane.
Diane: It goes without saying I would have had a better time if I had gone with Frasier.
Sam: Me too.
TV Show: Cheers
Coach: Boy Doc, you tell great stories.
Frasier: That was Poe.
Coach: Don't be modest, it was great.
Frasier: That was Poe.
Coach: Don't be modest, it was great.
TV Show: Cheers
Carla: What a night. Two hundred bucks in tips.
Coach: What are you gonna do with all that money, Carla?
Carla: I am going to spend it all on my kids.
Coach: Good girl.
Carla: How many gunny sacks and one way tickets do you think it will buy?
Coach: What are you gonna do with all that money, Carla?
Carla: I am going to spend it all on my kids.
Coach: Good girl.
Carla: How many gunny sacks and one way tickets do you think it will buy?
TV Show: Cheers
Diane: It's nice to know you draw the line somewhere.
Sam: There are three types of women I don't get involved with: married, underaged and comatose.
Norm: [to Cliff] He's added one.
Sam: There are three types of women I don't get involved with: married, underaged and comatose.
Norm: [to Cliff] He's added one.
TV Show: Cheers
Carla: You know I don't ask for much in this life; fresh fish, ten cents off on laundry detergent, volcanic boils all over my ex-husband, and the Sox in the Series again before I die.
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: Coach, I'm gonna be blunt with you. Her friend's cute and all that, but she doesn't have what I'm lookin' for in a woman.
Diane: What's that? Break-away clothes?
Diane: What's that? Break-away clothes?
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: You heard from Irene?
Coach: Well not for awhile but you're not supposed to see the bride before the ceremony anyway. Are you?
Sam: No, but you're supposed to know whether or not she's in the country at least.
Coach: Well not for awhile but you're not supposed to see the bride before the ceremony anyway. Are you?
Sam: No, but you're supposed to know whether or not she's in the country at least.
TV Show: Cheers
Cliff: [about women] They're only good for one thing.
Carla: And for you, not even that.
Carla: And for you, not even that.
TV Show: Cheers
Hester Crane: [referring to Diane] I understand you used to date that woman.
Sam: That's right.
Hester: How much would it take to start things up again?
Sam: You don't have enough money.
Hester: How do you know?
Sam: There isn't enough money.
Sam: That's right.
Hester: How much would it take to start things up again?
Sam: You don't have enough money.
Hester: How do you know?
Sam: There isn't enough money.
TV Show: Cheers
Carla: Nick, what the hell do you want?
Nick: Hey, is that the kind of hello I deserve?
Carla: No, bend over and I'll give it to you.
Nick: Hey, is that the kind of hello I deserve?
Carla: No, bend over and I'll give it to you.
TV Show: Cheers
Nick: I need a simple favor.
Carla: Unless it's setting your eyebrows on fire, forget it.
Carla: Unless it's setting your eyebrows on fire, forget it.
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: I just wonder if this whole so-called allergy thing might not be psychosomatic.
Diane: Sam, I'm very impressed. That's a complex psychological concept coming from a man who who has to write "L" and "R" on the bottom of his shoes.
Diane: Sam, I'm very impressed. That's a complex psychological concept coming from a man who who has to write "L" and "R" on the bottom of his shoes.
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: Isn't it interesting that I automatically spring to mind?
Diane: No. You automatically spring to mind whenever I hear something stupid.
Diane: No. You automatically spring to mind whenever I hear something stupid.
TV Show: Cheers
Norm: Hey, hey, hey... stop laughing at my pal here, huh? This guy had the only dream more ridiculous than mine.
Cliff: Oh, yeah?
Norm: A lot more, I might add.
Cliff: Is that right, Marco Rollo?
Norm: Hey, I've gotta buy a drink for The Great Cliffini.
Cliff: Oh, next round is on me for Ferdinand Ma-jelly-belly!
Norm: Listen to The Flying Rear-end-a!
Cliff: Oh, is that right, Christopher Colum-butt?
Cliff: Oh, yeah?
Norm: A lot more, I might add.
Cliff: Is that right, Marco Rollo?
Norm: Hey, I've gotta buy a drink for The Great Cliffini.
Cliff: Oh, next round is on me for Ferdinand Ma-jelly-belly!
Norm: Listen to The Flying Rear-end-a!
Cliff: Oh, is that right, Christopher Colum-butt?
TV Show: Cheers
Diane: [about Carla] She should be over this by now. It's been weeks. I've robbed her of her zest for life.
Sam: You do have that effect on people.
Sam: You do have that effect on people.
TV Show: Cheers
Diane: [about Amanda] Maybe I'm being an alarmist. She wouldn't be out if she still had problems.
Carla: You're out.
Carla: You're out.
TV Show: Cheers
Diane: You can't give her some standard pre-arranged speech you have for dumping women.
Sam: I do not have a standard pre-arranged speech for dumping women. Come on, every situation is different. For example now the speech I dumped you with will be totally inappropriate.
Diane: I don't think you dumped me.
Sam: Well you see that was the beauty of it. Come on give me credit will you, for knowing I couldn't possibly have one speech for every situation.
Cliff: Yeah, he's got six.
Sam: I do not have a standard pre-arranged speech for dumping women. Come on, every situation is different. For example now the speech I dumped you with will be totally inappropriate.
Diane: I don't think you dumped me.
Sam: Well you see that was the beauty of it. Come on give me credit will you, for knowing I couldn't possibly have one speech for every situation.
Cliff: Yeah, he's got six.
TV Show: Cheers