Being Human Quotes
[George enters the undertakers and sees an old lady reading]
George: [To Herrick] I thought the whole undertaker thing was just a front?
Herrick: Oh it is. That's Nanna, she's one of us. She sits there, reads the brochures. Good for appearances. [To the old lady] You alright Nanna?
Nanna: Oh, yes!
Herrick: Had an affair with Hitler didn't you dear?
Nanna: Oh, yes!
George: Someone actually recruited an old woman?
Herrick: Well, you know how it is. You're out and about, you get the munchies, you'll eat anything.
George: [To Herrick] I thought the whole undertaker thing was just a front?
Herrick: Oh it is. That's Nanna, she's one of us. She sits there, reads the brochures. Good for appearances. [To the old lady] You alright Nanna?
Nanna: Oh, yes!
Herrick: Had an affair with Hitler didn't you dear?
Nanna: Oh, yes!
George: Someone actually recruited an old woman?
Herrick: Well, you know how it is. You're out and about, you get the munchies, you'll eat anything.
TV Show: Being Human
Cara: Herrick came for me and now I have the blood of the ancestors. Ten thousand years of majesty and glory.
Annie: Well, congratulations on mastering the whole speaking like a twat thing.
Annie: Well, congratulations on mastering the whole speaking like a twat thing.
TV Show: Being Human
Herrick: So, a werewolf, a ghost and a vampire decide to live like humans do. They gets jobs, a house and a TV license. They make friends they will lie to, take lovers they will infect; In fact, the only part of humanity they successfully adopt is its ability to deceive and destroy. All in all I'd say your little scheme has been something of a failure.
TV Show: Being Human
George: [To Herrick] Haven't you worked it out yet? Humanity is about love, and sacrifice. This doesn't rob me of my humanity... [Stands upright, to illustrate his point] It proves it.
TV Show: Being Human
Annie: What happens next, Mitchell?
George: Yeah, is it over? Are we safe now?
Mitchell: Maybe Herrick was right, maybe some else will pick-up where he left off.
George: Yeah, is it over? Are we safe now?
Mitchell: Maybe Herrick was right, maybe some else will pick-up where he left off.
TV Show: Being Human
George: I meant to ask, have you started dunking biscuits into your tea now?
Annie: It was the logical next step.
George: Dunking biscuits you can't eat into tea you can't drink is the logical next step?
Annie: It was the logical next step.
George: Dunking biscuits you can't eat into tea you can't drink is the logical next step?
TV Show: Being Human
[George and Mitchell are completely silent]
Annie: Okay, shut up! I'm gonna tell you. I have applied for a job.
George: As what?
Annie: Well, it's something that I've always fancied.
George: Marrying Colin Firth isn't, strictly speaking, a job.
Annie: They're advertising for bar staff at the New Found Out.
Mitchell: The pub? That's the job you've always fancied? Jesus, aim for the stars.
Annie: Okay, shut up! I'm gonna tell you. I have applied for a job.
George: As what?
Annie: Well, it's something that I've always fancied.
George: Marrying Colin Firth isn't, strictly speaking, a job.
Annie: They're advertising for bar staff at the New Found Out.
Mitchell: The pub? That's the job you've always fancied? Jesus, aim for the stars.
TV Show: Being Human
Mitchell: [Sarcastically] The disembodied spirit of a dead woman is getting a job in the service industry. What could possibly go wrong?
TV Show: Being Human
George: It's not about you any more, so there's nothing left for you to do. You're like a piece of um... deadly furniture.
Mitchell: Did you just call me deadly furniture?
Mitchell: Did you just call me deadly furniture?
TV Show: Being Human
Nina: It's a lot to take in. I mean werewolves, ghosts, vampires. I didn't even believe in homeopathy before this.
TV Show: Being Human
Mitchell: Look, are you okay?
Lucy: I was a house officer at the Whittington in London. I had a boyfriend, a goldfish, a flat with a garden. When it was someone's birthday at work we'd have wine in mugs and eat Twix fingers and, do you know what? It was lovely. But because I am an idiot, and because it was a promotion, I gave it all up and me and my goldfish moved here, where the doctors have an acronym for unattractive female patients; IWEJF - 'I wouldn't even jiz in her face'. And last night, I got home and my goldfish was gone - no body, no note, nothing. So, no, I'm really not okay.
Mitchell: Do you have a cat? Because, chances are, that's what ate the goldfish.
Lucy: I don't, but if I did I think I would have made that connection.
Mitchell: A cat must have got in somehow.
Lucy: Yeah, actually, could you just sort of piss off for a bit? [pushes him out through the door. Mitchell pauses for a moment, then goes back in, annoyed]
Mitchell: As my best friend so 'kindly' pointed out to me this morning, I don't have a girlfriend, all my family are dead, and I mop up puke and pee and shit for five quid an hour. So, much as I sympathise, if we're comparing isolation and disappointment I think I win. [turns to go]
Lucy: I'm Lucy.
Mitchell: Mitchell.
Lucy: I keep screwing up, Mitchell.
Mitchell: Then you're in good company.
Lucy: I was a house officer at the Whittington in London. I had a boyfriend, a goldfish, a flat with a garden. When it was someone's birthday at work we'd have wine in mugs and eat Twix fingers and, do you know what? It was lovely. But because I am an idiot, and because it was a promotion, I gave it all up and me and my goldfish moved here, where the doctors have an acronym for unattractive female patients; IWEJF - 'I wouldn't even jiz in her face'. And last night, I got home and my goldfish was gone - no body, no note, nothing. So, no, I'm really not okay.
Mitchell: Do you have a cat? Because, chances are, that's what ate the goldfish.
Lucy: I don't, but if I did I think I would have made that connection.
Mitchell: A cat must have got in somehow.
Lucy: Yeah, actually, could you just sort of piss off for a bit? [pushes him out through the door. Mitchell pauses for a moment, then goes back in, annoyed]
Mitchell: As my best friend so 'kindly' pointed out to me this morning, I don't have a girlfriend, all my family are dead, and I mop up puke and pee and shit for five quid an hour. So, much as I sympathise, if we're comparing isolation and disappointment I think I win. [turns to go]
Lucy: I'm Lucy.
Mitchell: Mitchell.
Lucy: I keep screwing up, Mitchell.
Mitchell: Then you're in good company.
TV Show: Being Human
Kemp: One day you, the Professor and I will sit and take tea together, and gaze up at a full and harmless moon. That will be our reward.
TV Show: Being Human
Annie: Hey, there's a werewolf called Nina in Buffy!
Nina: I've never seen it.
Annie: No well, I stopped watching it once, you know, I started living it!
Nina: I've never seen it.
Annie: No well, I stopped watching it once, you know, I started living it!
TV Show: Being Human
Annie: Why don't you just use the [phone] at my house? I'm only up the road.
Hugh: Well I don't think that's such a good idea Annie.
Saul: [Joking] Yeah he's right, I might murder you.
Annie: [Laughs] Oh, plenty have tried.
Hugh: Well I don't think that's such a good idea Annie.
Saul: [Joking] Yeah he's right, I might murder you.
Annie: [Laughs] Oh, plenty have tried.
TV Show: Being Human
[Professor Jaggat enters lift, joining Mitchell and an unknown woman.]
Mitchell: Someone's been sick in the shop. Some days it's all about the poo but today everyone's... being... sick.
[Awkward silence as unknown woman leaves lift.]
Lucy: So, that was weird.
Mitchell: I don't know how to talk to you. I know I came on too strong the other day but now... Oh my god, I've become my flatmate.
Lucy: Okay, look, the replacement goldfish you gave me--
Mitchell: Trevor.
Lucy: I love him. We have such a laugh. He was the perfect gesture. And... And that's the speed I'm comfortable with, not forever, but just until I get my head... [Sighs.] Trevor was genius.
Mitchell: So... what do we do now? Do I buy you another goldfish?
Lucy: No, no, see you've gone weird again. How about a coffee?
Mitchell: Someone's been sick in the shop. Some days it's all about the poo but today everyone's... being... sick.
[Awkward silence as unknown woman leaves lift.]
Lucy: So, that was weird.
Mitchell: I don't know how to talk to you. I know I came on too strong the other day but now... Oh my god, I've become my flatmate.
Lucy: Okay, look, the replacement goldfish you gave me--
Mitchell: Trevor.
Lucy: I love him. We have such a laugh. He was the perfect gesture. And... And that's the speed I'm comfortable with, not forever, but just until I get my head... [Sighs.] Trevor was genius.
Mitchell: So... what do we do now? Do I buy you another goldfish?
Lucy: No, no, see you've gone weird again. How about a coffee?
TV Show: Being Human
(Veinna 1999, Carl has Mitchell tied to a chair trying to help him get clean)
Mitchell: Let me go. I've changed my mind.
Carl: That's tough.
Mitchell: I'm not ready.
Carl: I remember saying that when I was ties to the chair.
Mitchell: Just let me out, let me go out onto the street and we can start tomorrow.
Carl: We've already started Mitchell.
(another man enters)
Mitchell: Dan! Let me out! Let me out you queer or I'll rip your throat out! Rargh!
Carl: Apologise.
Mitchell: Piss off!!
Carl: Mitchell, please apologise.
Mitchell: (hangs his head) I'm sorry, Dan. I'm so sorry.
Dan: Are you ok?
Carl: Yes, just leave us.
Mitchell: How long is this gonna take?
Carl: Depends, maybe six months.
Mitchell: Why are you doing this?
Carl: Because it's what you'd do for me.
Mitchell: Let me go. I've changed my mind.
Carl: That's tough.
Mitchell: I'm not ready.
Carl: I remember saying that when I was ties to the chair.
Mitchell: Just let me out, let me go out onto the street and we can start tomorrow.
Carl: We've already started Mitchell.
(another man enters)
Mitchell: Dan! Let me out! Let me out you queer or I'll rip your throat out! Rargh!
Carl: Apologise.
Mitchell: Piss off!!
Carl: Mitchell, please apologise.
Mitchell: (hangs his head) I'm sorry, Dan. I'm so sorry.
Dan: Are you ok?
Carl: Yes, just leave us.
Mitchell: How long is this gonna take?
Carl: Depends, maybe six months.
Mitchell: Why are you doing this?
Carl: Because it's what you'd do for me.
TV Show: Being Human
Nina: I'm pretty sure 'werewolf' didn't come up when I spoke to my careers teacher, but life is full of disappointments.
TV Show: Being Human
Mitchell: One of the times I tried to properly quit drinking blood, I was living with this vampire, Carl. And he helped me. He's been clean for, what-- I don't know-- twenty years now--
George: You... um, sorry. You lived with someone... before me?
Mitchell: ...What? Yeah, lots of people.
George: But-- Who?!
Mitchell: ...Vampires? People-people, I don't know!
George: Peo-- oh, well, that's it.
Mitchell: Oh, god. Don't get all--
George: What? What?
Mitchell: 'You!' Don't get all you about this. Of course I've lived with other people. You think I've spent the past hundred years waiting for you and your... three different kinds of upholstery cleaner to show up?!
George: You... um, sorry. You lived with someone... before me?
Mitchell: ...What? Yeah, lots of people.
George: But-- Who?!
Mitchell: ...Vampires? People-people, I don't know!
George: Peo-- oh, well, that's it.
Mitchell: Oh, god. Don't get all--
George: What? What?
Mitchell: 'You!' Don't get all you about this. Of course I've lived with other people. You think I've spent the past hundred years waiting for you and your... three different kinds of upholstery cleaner to show up?!
TV Show: Being Human
George: You are being careful aren't you?
Annie: Thanks, but I think I'm a bit old and dead for the contraception conversation.
Annie: Thanks, but I think I'm a bit old and dead for the contraception conversation.
TV Show: Being Human
Annie: Hugh is like a brother to me.
George: Oh, promise me you'll never tell him that.
Annie: I think he's really sweet.
George: Really sweet? Oh my God! What not just stab him in the face? A brother? Annie, trust me, the only man who'd ever want to hear that is your actual brother.
George: Oh, promise me you'll never tell him that.
Annie: I think he's really sweet.
George: Really sweet? Oh my God! What not just stab him in the face? A brother? Annie, trust me, the only man who'd ever want to hear that is your actual brother.
TV Show: Being Human
Ivan: Okay, two rules for Ivan's car: no food or drink and I get to choose the music, and tonight we shall be listening to Miss Kate Bush.
TV Show: Being Human
George: [to Mitchell] He's your murdering fugitive, if you want to keep him, then you have to look after him.
TV Show: Being Human
Annie: What is it with me and volatile, unsuitable men? Be honest, am I Ulrika Jonsson?
TV Show: Being Human
Mitchell: Fifty years and still the same car?
Ivan: Been keeping her in storage, you know what it's like. If it goes, has a good body and you like being inside it, why get rid of it? It's a recipe for a happy marriage, too.
Ivan: Been keeping her in storage, you know what it's like. If it goes, has a good body and you like being inside it, why get rid of it? It's a recipe for a happy marriage, too.
TV Show: Being Human
Ivan: You think this ends tonight? [laughs] This is just the beginning. Today it's Carl, tomorrow it's someone else. It's like I said, you're sliding into chaos and there's no safety net now. They've been in hiding since Herrick died but they're gonna get hungry soon, then you're going to be waking up to headlines about vampires.
Mitchell: If we did declare ourselves, but not the way Herrick wanted, but if we could just stop hiding.
Ivan: What, are you imagining some kind of peaceful co-existence? It'd be chaos! Worldwide panic. Good news for religion, mind, especially Christianity. There'd be standing room only in the churches all of a sudden. And as soon as they knew about vampires, they'd know about werewolves, they'd know about ghosts. They'd be next. And when humanity had finally finished with us, it would turn on itself. First the other religions, massively in the minority now, then the homosexuals, the disabled... Do you want to know what the future looks like? Enforced worship in churches a mile high, and every country surrounded by a coral reef of bones. But fuck it, maybe it should happen - there's nothing on TV at the moment.
Mitchell: If we did declare ourselves, but not the way Herrick wanted, but if we could just stop hiding.
Ivan: What, are you imagining some kind of peaceful co-existence? It'd be chaos! Worldwide panic. Good news for religion, mind, especially Christianity. There'd be standing room only in the churches all of a sudden. And as soon as they knew about vampires, they'd know about werewolves, they'd know about ghosts. They'd be next. And when humanity had finally finished with us, it would turn on itself. First the other religions, massively in the minority now, then the homosexuals, the disabled... Do you want to know what the future looks like? Enforced worship in churches a mile high, and every country surrounded by a coral reef of bones. But fuck it, maybe it should happen - there's nothing on TV at the moment.
TV Show: Being Human
[A 17th century priest reads a death warrant to a group of vampires]
Priest: Your teeth will be smashed from your skull as a warning to other devils, then your head will be removed from your body and... [turns to the back of the warrant] no, that's it actually.
Priest: Your teeth will be smashed from your skull as a warning to other devils, then your head will be removed from your body and... [turns to the back of the warrant] no, that's it actually.
TV Show: Being Human
Annie: Strangely, being invisible makes purchasing pyramid teabags a touch awkward.
TV Show: Being Human
[Annie reads George's poem about Nina]
Annie: "My heart yearns for your fragrant hair"?
George: That's private!
Annie: Does she have fragrant hair?
George: Yes. I'm a terrible poet and a terrible boyfriend.
Annie: What's the last line? "Because you're worth it"?
Annie: "My heart yearns for your fragrant hair"?
George: That's private!
Annie: Does she have fragrant hair?
George: Yes. I'm a terrible poet and a terrible boyfriend.
Annie: What's the last line? "Because you're worth it"?
TV Show: Being Human