Animaniacs Quotes

Dr. Scratchansniff: What's on your mind?
Wakko: My hat.
Dr. Scratchansniff: No, no, no. Your hat is on your head. What is on your mind?
Wakko: My... skin?
Dr. Scratchansniff: No, that's on your head. What's on your mind?
Wakko: Oh, I got it! My hair!
Dr. Scratchansniff: Your hair is on your head! [tears off some of his hair] THIS IS HAIR! THIS IS HAIR! IT IS NOT ON MY MIND! IT IS ON MY HEAD!
Wakko: No, it's in your hand.

TV Show: Animaniacs
Dr. Scratchansniff: Now then, Yakko, let us do a little word association, hm? I say a word, and you say any word that you think of; any word that comes to mind.
Yakko: Brain.
Dr. Scratchansniff: No, no, no. We haven't started.
Yakko: Begun.
Dr. Scratchansniff: No, wait.
Yakko: Yield.
Dr. Scratchansniff: No, stop!
Yakko: Cease.
Dr. Scratchansniff: SILENCE!
Yakko: Quiet.
Dr. Scratchansniff: ENOUGH!!
Yakko: Plenty.
Dr. Scratchansniff: Would. You. Please. Listen!
Yakko: Hear.
Dr. Scratchansniff: NO, YOU STUPID KID! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!
Yakko: Comprehend.
Dr. Scratchansniff: [growls and prepares to throw Yakko out] Get out! Get out! Get OUT!
Yakko: Leave. Leave. Leave.
Dr. Scratchansniff: [kicks him out and slams the door, huffing and puffing] Those kids is driving me crazy!
Yakko: [pops his head through the door] Insane. Unhinged. Demented.

TV Show: Animaniacs
[After Yakko and Wakko tell him that if a delivers the Gettysburg Address, his head will be on the penny, and there'll be Lincoln's Birthday sales, etc.]
Abraham Lincoln: Just as long as they don't name a savings and loan after me!

TV Show: Animaniacs
Satan: Little fools! I am Beelzebub!Lucifer! The Reaper of Souls! The Really Angry One! I AM SATAN! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Dot: So that's nothing! I'm: [rasping, sinister voice] Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bobesca the Third! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! [normal voice] Just a little thing I do.
Satan: You blundering dolts! Don't you realize you've entered the fiery realm of Hades?!
Wakko: Hades? [Dashes back up to the surface, brings back a snowball, sets it down, and watches as it quicky melts] Boy, they were right! It didn't have a chance!
Satan: SILENCE! And now, prepare to suffer indescribable torment!
Yakko: Another Bob Hope special?
Satan: Worse!

TV Show: Animaniacs
Satan: Cerberus my pet, toss these fools into the Lake of Fire. But slowly. I want to watch them wiggle in agony.
Yakko: How about if we just wiggle here?
Warners: Wigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewiggle!

TV Show: Animaniacs
Yakko: Hey, does George Hamilton know your tan's better than his?
Satan: SILENCE! I don't want to hear another peep from you!
Warners: Peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-peep--!
Satan: STOP PEEPING!
Warners: [pause] Peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-peep!!!

TV Show: Animaniacs
Flavio: Are you an inspector of the Yard?
Yakko: Not if you have a dog.

TV Show: Animaniacs
[Pizzas have been delivered by Chicken Boo]
Wakko: He was odd.
Dot: He was strange.
Bellboy: He was a chicken, I tell you! A giant chicken!

TV Show: Animaniacs
Dr. Scratchansniff: What are you drawing?
Wakko: It's a cow eating grass. [holds up a blank paper]
Dr. Scratchansniff: But where's the grass?
Wakko: The cow ate it.
Dr. Scratchansniff: But where is the cow?
Wakko: Well, he's not going to stick around if there isn't any more grass to eat.

TV Show: Animaniacs
Thaddeus Plotz: A clown is my friend.
Dr. Scratchansniff: A clown vill not bite me und throw me in the basement.
Plotz: A clown will not bite me and throw me in the basement.
Dr. Scratchansniff: A clown is not a big shpider.
Plotz: A clown is not a big spider.

TV Show: Animaniacs
Mr. Director: [gestures from one end of a table to another where the Warners appear then reappear] Hoyl! How'd you-? With the going- You were there, but here now! You are- for me to see! How'd you do?!
Yakko[To Wakko] You understand any of that?
Wakko I think he said: [repeats Mr. Director's lines]
Yakko Thanks for clearing that up.

TV Show: Animaniacs
Yakko Tell us, how can we help you?
Wakko: Yes, please tell us, please!
Dot: So that we can go home sometime in the near future?
Hello Nurse: Well, it's about my boss. You see, he's missing!
Yakko: He's missing what? Eyes? Hair? A personality?
Hello Nurse: Nononono. He's gone. My boss has vanished!
Yakko: [Jumps on the desk next to her] Would you do that "no, no, no" thing again?
Hello Nurse: Nononono.
Yakko: I love that! [goes back to his seat]
Hello Nurse: My boss has vanished!
Yakko: So I guess that means you're available for temp work?
Dot: This could conceivably go on forever.

TV Show: Animaniacs
Yakko: Now tell us, where did you last see your boss?
Hello Nurse: In the Mambo Room at the Tropicombo Club! A band was playing Latin dance music. I was with the doctor. He mumbled something. The band had a big, dumb guy playing the drums, and everyone was dancing under a pole. Then, the doctor vanished!
Yakko: Now let me get this straight: He muttered some Mumbo-Jumbo during the combo Samba in the Mambo at the Tropicombo, then there was a Jumbo Dumbo playing the Limbo on the Bongos and then he was gone?
Hello Nurse: That is absolutely correct!
[A You Bet Your Life-style fanfare plays]
Yakko: Tell her what she's won!
Wakko: Another date with me!
Hello Nurse: How come I always get the booby prize?
Dot: I'm not touching that one!

TV Show: Animaniacs
Yakko: [referring to a statue of Squit] Hey, it's that bird from the photo!
Minerva Mink: I'll take that!
Yakko and Wakko: Hellloooo, gorgeous mystery lady!
Minerva Mink: Never mind that. Just give me the bird!
Dot: We can't; this is a family show.
Minerva Mink: [takes the statue] Stay back, I'm packing a heater. [opens suitcase and reveals a heater]
Dot: You can't argue with that. It's too stupid.

TV Show: Animaniacs
Hello Nurse: I claim this statue in the name of Gulf and Western!
Minerva Mink: [Steals the statue from her] I claim it in the name of Rupert Murdoch!
Ralph: [Grabs Minerva by the tail, still reading his script] Duh, by gad, sir! I claim it in the name of Matsushimi- err, Matsushudi- duuh... uh, for Seagrams!
Yakko: Ah, I've got it! The Mink is working for Fox, the Pair 'o legs is working for Paramount, and the guy who needs rehearsal is working for Universal!
Dot: Thank you, Dr. Seuss.

TV Show: Animaniacs
Dot: [referring to David Geffen, Jeffrey Katzenberg, and Steven Spielberg] Who are those guys?
Yakko: The stuff that DreamWorks are made of!

TV Show: Animaniacs
Wakko: Look! It's a big, fat fanny!

TV Show: Animaniacs
Yakko: And the moral of today's story is: brush your teeth before every meal. This lesson brought to you by the American Dental Association.
Dot: That makes me feel all kind of warm and squishy. Either that or I need to wear diapers.

TV Show: Animaniacs
Dot: Do you think Scratchy'd like some cologne?
Fifi Le Fume: We have Obsession, Repression, and Ecstasy!
Dot: Do you have anything for beginners?

TV Show: Animaniacs
Dot: Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy... so he changed his name to Ed Asner. Thank you!

TV Show: Animaniacs
Dot: [reciting a poem]Roses are red, Violets are blue.
That's what they say, but it just isn't true.
Roses are red, and apples are too.
But violets are violet. Violets aren't blue.
An orange is orange, but Greenland's not green.
A pinky's not pink, so what does it mean?
To call something blue when it's not, we defile it.
But aww, what the heck? It's hard to rhyme "violet."

TV Show: Animaniacs
Dot: Thirty days has September, April, June, and November. All the rest have thirty-one, except for my Uncle Spit who was given thirty-to-life! Thank you.

TV Show: Animaniacs
Dot: I'm a little teapot, short and stout! This is my handle, (pulls out a note from behind her) and here is a note from my shrink! He says I'm getting better! LAST WEEK I THOUGHT I WAS A TOASTER OVEN! [Laughs insanely] Thank you.

TV Show: Animaniacs
Dot: Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall! Humpty Dumpty retained a lawyer and settled out of court for a lot of money and ownership of the wall! Thank you.

TV Show: Animaniacs
Yakko: [After a mean TV anchorman locks the Warners in a control booth] If he locked us in the control booth, he must want us to take control!

TV Show: Animaniacs
Wakko: [After a mean TV anchorman locks the Warners in a control booth] Ground control to Major Tom. Commencing countdown. Engines on!

TV Show: Animaniacs
Main article: Pinky and the Brain

TV Show: Animaniacs
Yakko: Wherever there is belching-
Wakko/Dot: We'll be there!
Yakko: Wherever there is stupidity-
Wakko/Dot: We'll be there!
Yakko: Wherever there is candy-
Wakko: We'll be there a lot quicker!

TV Show: Animaniacs
Dot: I found Prince! [She is carrying Prince, the pop music artist]
Yakko: No, no, no. Fingerprints!
Dot: [Considers for a moment] I don't think so. [She throws Prince out of the window]

TV Show: Animaniacs
Dot: Old King Cole was a merry old sole and a merry old sole was he. He called for his pipe, and he called for his bowl, and he called information for numbers he could've easily looked up in the phone book! Thank you.

TV Show: Animaniacs