Angel Quotes
Illyria: Do you know what you were when I was young? You were the muck at our feet! We called you the ooze that eats itself. You were pretty at night, you sparkled and you stank! You still stink of it!
Angel: Will you just shut up for once!
Illyria: What!?
Angel: My God, the speechifying! Has it ever occurred to you that right now might not be the best time for when-we-were-muck stories!
Angel: Will you just shut up for once!
Illyria: What!?
Angel: My God, the speechifying! Has it ever occurred to you that right now might not be the best time for when-we-were-muck stories!
TV Show: Angel
Angelus: William...
William the Bloody: Bloody hell! That right bastard!
Angelus: The Immortal thinks he can do this to us?
William the Bloody: He doesn't know who he's dealing with.
Angelus: Well, he's about to find out.
William the Bloody: He's gonna curse the day he ever crossed purpose with Angelus.
Angelus: And William the Bloody.
William the Bloody: See just how immortal he is, when we're done with him.
Angelus: [regaining his Irish accent] We'll carve him up like a Sunday roast and make him watch as we feast on his steaming flesh.
[still struggling with restrains]
Angelus: How you doing?
William the Bloody: Bugger!
William the Bloody: Bloody hell! That right bastard!
Angelus: The Immortal thinks he can do this to us?
William the Bloody: He doesn't know who he's dealing with.
Angelus: Well, he's about to find out.
William the Bloody: He's gonna curse the day he ever crossed purpose with Angelus.
Angelus: And William the Bloody.
William the Bloody: See just how immortal he is, when we're done with him.
Angelus: [regaining his Irish accent] We'll carve him up like a Sunday roast and make him watch as we feast on his steaming flesh.
[still struggling with restrains]
Angelus: How you doing?
William the Bloody: Bugger!
TV Show: Angel
Angel: I helped save the world, you know.
Spike: Like I haven't.
Angel: Yeah, but I've done it a lot more.
Spike: Oh, please.
Angel: Closed the Hellmouth.
Spike: I've done that.
Angel: Yeah, but you wore a necklace. You know, I helped kill the Mayor, and uhm... Jasmine.
Spike: Do those really count as saving the world?
Angel: I stopped Acathla. That saved the world.
Spike: Buffy ran you through with a sword.
Angel: Yeah, but I made her do it. Signalled her with my eyes.
Spike: She killed you. I helped her. That one counts as mine.
Spike: Like I haven't.
Angel: Yeah, but I've done it a lot more.
Spike: Oh, please.
Angel: Closed the Hellmouth.
Spike: I've done that.
Angel: Yeah, but you wore a necklace. You know, I helped kill the Mayor, and uhm... Jasmine.
Spike: Do those really count as saving the world?
Angel: I stopped Acathla. That saved the world.
Spike: Buffy ran you through with a sword.
Angel: Yeah, but I made her do it. Signalled her with my eyes.
Spike: She killed you. I helped her. That one counts as mine.
TV Show: Angel
Angel: [about Buffy] How'd she ever fall for a centuries old guy with a dark past who may or may not be evil?
TV Show: Angel
Illyria: I've grown wary of this world since my powers were depleted. Strange… though I've been made more human, this place remains disconcerting.
Spike: Yeah, well, I'm afraid that never goes away. Anyhow, I thought Wesley was giving you a primer on all things human.
Illyria: He and I are no longer having intercourse.
Spike: Yeah, I… you what? What?
Illyria: He has ceased communication with me.
Spike: Oh! Oh. Communi—
Illyria: My recent reversion to the Burkle persona disturbed him. And he will not tell me why.
Spike: You don't know? You may not think you're as powerful as you were, Highness, but looking like Fred, for some of us… it's the most devastating power you have.
Spike: Yeah, well, I'm afraid that never goes away. Anyhow, I thought Wesley was giving you a primer on all things human.
Illyria: He and I are no longer having intercourse.
Spike: Yeah, I… you what? What?
Illyria: He has ceased communication with me.
Spike: Oh! Oh. Communi—
Illyria: My recent reversion to the Burkle persona disturbed him. And he will not tell me why.
Spike: You don't know? You may not think you're as powerful as you were, Highness, but looking like Fred, for some of us… it's the most devastating power you have.
TV Show: Angel
Izzy: You know the Fells. All they can talk about is the baby. The baby's doing this now. The baby's doing that. What a wonderful ritual sacrifice he'll make. Yak, yak, yak.
TV Show: Angel
[Lindsey is explaining the Circle of The Black Thorn.]
Lindsey: It's a secret organization.
Gunn: Never heard of them.
Lindsey: That's 'cause they're secret.
Lindsey: It's a secret organization.
Gunn: Never heard of them.
Lindsey: That's 'cause they're secret.
TV Show: Angel
[Angelus and William have just discovered a limp and disheveled Darla lying naked, face-down in bed.]
Angelus: Darla. Darla! Darla! What have they done? My sweet death.
Darla: Angelus. You're back.
Angelus: I'd claw my way back from the depths of hell to lay by your side.
[Pulls her into his arms for a kiss, but recoils, drops her, stands and wipes his mouth.]
Angelus: He's tasted you.
William: Who?
Angelus: Who do ya think?
William the Bloody: Well, that cheeky bastard. Had us tossed and then violates your woman.
Angelus: Did he hurt you?
Darla: Not until I asked him to. Oh, come on. Have you seen him? With the eyes and the chest and the... immortality.
William the Bloody: We're immortal.
Darla: Not like him. I mean, he's not some common vampire. He's... I don't know what he is. A giant. A titan straddling good and evil, serving no master but his own considerable desires.
Angelus: Darla...
Darla: And spiritual. Did you know he spent 150 years in a Tibetan monastery? Which I guess explains all the desire.
Angelus: He's my arch-nemesis.
Darla: Darling. It was just fornication. Really great fornication.
William the Bloody: She's glowing, mate.
Angelus: She isn't.
Darla: Little bit.
William the Bloody: Best fit you for a pair of antlers. Been made the right cuckold, you have.
Drusilla: Time for another pony ride?
William the Bloody: Son of a bitch!
Angelus: The both of ya?
Darla: He's insatiable.
William the Bloody: Drusilla, you—you let him touch you?
Drusilla: He felt like sunshine.
William the Bloody: Uh, no. No.
Angelus: That's why he had us tosse
Angelus: Darla. Darla! Darla! What have they done? My sweet death.
Darla: Angelus. You're back.
Angelus: I'd claw my way back from the depths of hell to lay by your side.
[Pulls her into his arms for a kiss, but recoils, drops her, stands and wipes his mouth.]
Angelus: He's tasted you.
William: Who?
Angelus: Who do ya think?
William the Bloody: Well, that cheeky bastard. Had us tossed and then violates your woman.
Angelus: Did he hurt you?
Darla: Not until I asked him to. Oh, come on. Have you seen him? With the eyes and the chest and the... immortality.
William the Bloody: We're immortal.
Darla: Not like him. I mean, he's not some common vampire. He's... I don't know what he is. A giant. A titan straddling good and evil, serving no master but his own considerable desires.
Angelus: Darla...
Darla: And spiritual. Did you know he spent 150 years in a Tibetan monastery? Which I guess explains all the desire.
Angelus: He's my arch-nemesis.
Darla: Darling. It was just fornication. Really great fornication.
William the Bloody: She's glowing, mate.
Angelus: She isn't.
Darla: Little bit.
William the Bloody: Best fit you for a pair of antlers. Been made the right cuckold, you have.
Drusilla: Time for another pony ride?
William the Bloody: Son of a bitch!
Angelus: The both of ya?
Darla: He's insatiable.
William the Bloody: Drusilla, you—you let him touch you?
Drusilla: He felt like sunshine.
William the Bloody: Uh, no. No.
Angelus: That's why he had us tosse
TV Show: Angel
Ilona Costa Bianchi: And you, what an honor! The great Angelus.
Angel: Actually, it's just Angel.
Ilona Costa Bianchi: Ah, yes, of course. The Gypsies, they gave you your soul. The Gypsies are filthy people. [spits] And we shall speak of them no more.
Angel: Actually, it's just Angel.
Ilona Costa Bianchi: Ah, yes, of course. The Gypsies, they gave you your soul. The Gypsies are filthy people. [spits] And we shall speak of them no more.
TV Show: Angel
Demon Butler: You must be so lonely. Your girlfriend has become lovers with The Immortal. How unfortunate for you. And how fortunate for her.
Angel: You know The Immortal?
Demon Butler: But of course.
Angel: Ha! I knew it. None of this is a coincidence.
Spike: Been his plan all along. Steal our head, keep us busy, and traipse off with my girl. [Angel gives him a look]Our girl.
Angel: It's a setup. You're just his lackey.
Demon Butler: I should be so lucky. The Immortal does not need men like me to do his business. He is a wild card, a wolf removed from the pack, a stallion without, uh, the bridle.
Spike: What, are you in love with him?
Demon Butler: No, no, no, no. Well, OK, yes. But if anything, he's more of a, uh, inspiration, a spiritual guide. Have you read his book? Is a life changer.
Angel: [whispers to Spike] I'm gettin' a little tired of Italy.
Spike: Know what you mean.
Angel: You know The Immortal?
Demon Butler: But of course.
Angel: Ha! I knew it. None of this is a coincidence.
Spike: Been his plan all along. Steal our head, keep us busy, and traipse off with my girl. [Angel gives him a look]Our girl.
Angel: It's a setup. You're just his lackey.
Demon Butler: I should be so lucky. The Immortal does not need men like me to do his business. He is a wild card, a wolf removed from the pack, a stallion without, uh, the bridle.
Spike: What, are you in love with him?
Demon Butler: No, no, no, no. Well, OK, yes. But if anything, he's more of a, uh, inspiration, a spiritual guide. Have you read his book? Is a life changer.
Angel: [whispers to Spike] I'm gettin' a little tired of Italy.
Spike: Know what you mean.
TV Show: Angel
Demon Butler: OK. No more games!
[He pulls out a gun and aims it at the bag and everyone stops fighting, but then Angel elbows a man behind him, getting in one final blow.]
Demon Butler: One more step, and the head gets it, hey? We are not animals. We are italiano. You give us the money, we give you the head.
[Angel and Spike don't move; they just stare]
Demon Butler: You give us the money, we give you the head.
[Angel and Spike stare]
Demon Butler: The money, the head. The money...
Angel: Yeah. We get it. [hits Spike] Money.
[Spike gets the money and walks toward the demon. He holds out the money, but pulls it back.]]
Spike: Hey!
[They switch bags at the same time.]
Demon Butler: Arrivederci, americanos. It was a pleasure to do the business with you.
[Demon Butler chuckles; he and his men leave]
[He pulls out a gun and aims it at the bag and everyone stops fighting, but then Angel elbows a man behind him, getting in one final blow.]
Demon Butler: One more step, and the head gets it, hey? We are not animals. We are italiano. You give us the money, we give you the head.
[Angel and Spike don't move; they just stare]
Demon Butler: You give us the money, we give you the head.
[Angel and Spike stare]
Demon Butler: The money, the head. The money...
Angel: Yeah. We get it. [hits Spike] Money.
[Spike gets the money and walks toward the demon. He holds out the money, but pulls it back.]]
Spike: Hey!
[They switch bags at the same time.]
Demon Butler: Arrivederci, americanos. It was a pleasure to do the business with you.
[Demon Butler chuckles; he and his men leave]
TV Show: Angel
Nina: You should get away. Vacation? You know that word? Go to Cabo, drink margaritas, midnight skinny-dipping, making love on the beach… did you catch how I subtly included myself in your little vacation package?
Angel: Nina…
Nina: Too pushy, too needy, I never even said it. You should make love on the beach all by yourself.
Angel: Nina…
Nina: Too pushy, too needy, I never even said it. You should make love on the beach all by yourself.
TV Show: Angel
Illyria: You'll have proof soon enough. A corrupted ruler on such a path sees treachery and betrayal all around him. He cannot suffer intimates and will eventually turn against them.
Spike: Guess I don't have to worry about that, 'cause Angel and me have never been intimate. Except that one...
Spike: Guess I don't have to worry about that, 'cause Angel and me have never been intimate. Except that one...
TV Show: Angel
Nina: Plane tickets? I don't believe it. We're getting away? This is.. But thought you didn't have enough time to... Ahm, wait! There are three tickets here. We taking a chaperone? [looks closer at the tickets] My sister and Amanda?
Angel: I need you to be out of here.
Nina: It's typical. You sleep with a guy and he sends your entire family out of the country. No, wait. That's actually not that typical at all. You couldn't just.. not call?
Angel: I need you to be out of here.
Nina: It's typical. You sleep with a guy and he sends your entire family out of the country. No, wait. That's actually not that typical at all. You couldn't just.. not call?
TV Show: Angel
[Illyria and Drogyn are playing "Crash Bandicoot" while waiting to hear from Angel.]
Illyria: I play this game. It's pointless, and annoys me. And yet I'm compelled to play on.
Illyria: I play this game. It's pointless, and annoys me. And yet I'm compelled to play on.
TV Show: Angel
Angel: This may come out a little pretentious, but... one of you will betray me.
[Spike raises his hand eagerly.]
Angel: Wes...
Spike: [disappointed] Oh... [enthusiastically] Can I deny you three times?
[Spike raises his hand eagerly.]
Angel: Wes...
Spike: [disappointed] Oh... [enthusiastically] Can I deny you three times?
TV Show: Angel
Lindsey: Believe it or not, I was actually talking about you. You don't care about being squashed like a bug?
Angel: You haven't heard a word I've said. For, like, years back.
Lindsey: Well, you get a little speechy, all right? And I breeze out. I got the Cliff Notes—honor and humanity. Absolute good. I heard it. So here's the plot twist—I'm in.
Angel: Why?
Lindsey: Everybody goes on about your soul. A vampire with a soul. Nobody ever mentions the fact that you're really a vampire with big brass testes. This is gonna be a circus. I mean, win or lose, you're about to pick the nastiest fight since mankind drop-kicked the last demon out of this dimension. And that you don't do without me. If you want me, I'm on your team.
Angel: I want you, Lindsey. [pause] Thinking about rephrasing that.
Lindsey: Yeah, think I'd be more comfortable if you did.
Angel: You haven't heard a word I've said. For, like, years back.
Lindsey: Well, you get a little speechy, all right? And I breeze out. I got the Cliff Notes—honor and humanity. Absolute good. I heard it. So here's the plot twist—I'm in.
Angel: Why?
Lindsey: Everybody goes on about your soul. A vampire with a soul. Nobody ever mentions the fact that you're really a vampire with big brass testes. This is gonna be a circus. I mean, win or lose, you're about to pick the nastiest fight since mankind drop-kicked the last demon out of this dimension. And that you don't do without me. If you want me, I'm on your team.
Angel: I want you, Lindsey. [pause] Thinking about rephrasing that.
Lindsey: Yeah, think I'd be more comfortable if you did.
TV Show: Angel
Lindsey: I could sing for you.
Lorne: I've heard you sing. [takes out a gun with a silencer and shoots Lindsey twice in the chest]
Lindsey: Why... why did you...
Lorne: One last job. You're not part of the solution, Lindsey. You never will be.
Lindsey: You killing me? A flunky?! I'm not just... Angel... kills me. You... Angel... [dies]
Lorne: Good night, folks.
Lorne: I've heard you sing. [takes out a gun with a silencer and shoots Lindsey twice in the chest]
Lindsey: Why... why did you...
Lorne: One last job. You're not part of the solution, Lindsey. You never will be.
Lindsey: You killing me? A flunky?! I'm not just... Angel... kills me. You... Angel... [dies]
Lorne: Good night, folks.
TV Show: Angel
Hamilton: [To Angel] You're gutter trash, and that's where you should have stayed, drinking and whoring your way through an unremarkable life. But the fates stepped in and made you a vampire, with a soul, no less. A champion. A hero of the people. And yet, you still managed to fail everyone around you. Doyle. Cordelia. Fred. They're all gone. Now it's time you followed.
TV Show: Angel
Spike: Hello, Junior. The name's Spike. [picks up the baby] And lucky for you, I'm on a strict diet.
[When Spike turns to leave with the baby, he's faced with three of the Fell Brethren standing in the doorway.]
Fell Leader: Place the holy vessel back in the bassinet.
[Spike looks at the baby, who even seems to shake his head "no", then looks back at the Fell.]
Spike: [sighs] Right.
[Spike shrugs off the robe and fights off the brothers' attack while still holding the baby.]
[When Spike turns to leave with the baby, he's faced with three of the Fell Brethren standing in the doorway.]
Fell Leader: Place the holy vessel back in the bassinet.
[Spike looks at the baby, who even seems to shake his head "no", then looks back at the Fell.]
Spike: [sighs] Right.
[Spike shrugs off the robe and fights off the brothers' attack while still holding the baby.]
TV Show: Angel
Hamilton: Let me say this as clearly as I can. You cannot beat me. I am a part of them. The Wolf, Ram, and Hart. Their strength flows through my veins. My blood is filled with their ancient power.
Angel: Can you pick out the one word there you probably shouldn't have said? [he vamps out and bites Hamilton, draining his blood] Wow. You really are full of it!
Hamilton: You can never beat us. We are legion. We are forever!
[Angel snaps his neck]
Angel: Looks like forever just got a hell of a lot shorter.
Angel: Can you pick out the one word there you probably shouldn't have said? [he vamps out and bites Hamilton, draining his blood] Wow. You really are full of it!
Hamilton: You can never beat us. We are legion. We are forever!
[Angel snaps his neck]
Angel: Looks like forever just got a hell of a lot shorter.
TV Show: Angel
[last lines]
Illyria: Wesley's dead. I'm feeling grief for him. I can't seem to control it. I wish to do more violence.
Spike: Well, wishes just happen to be horses today.
Angel: Amongst other things.
[A horde of demons and monsters is bearing down on the surviving members of Angel's team.]
Gunn: Okay, you take the thirty thousand on the left…
Illyria: You're fading. You'll last ten minutes at best.
Gunn: Then let's make 'em memorable.
Spike: And in terms of a plan?
Angel: We fight.
Spike: Bit more specific?
Angel: Well, personally, I kinda want to slay the dragon. Let's go to work.
Illyria: Wesley's dead. I'm feeling grief for him. I can't seem to control it. I wish to do more violence.
Spike: Well, wishes just happen to be horses today.
Angel: Amongst other things.
[A horde of demons and monsters is bearing down on the surviving members of Angel's team.]
Gunn: Okay, you take the thirty thousand on the left…
Illyria: You're fading. You'll last ten minutes at best.
Gunn: Then let's make 'em memorable.
Spike: And in terms of a plan?
Angel: We fight.
Spike: Bit more specific?
Angel: Well, personally, I kinda want to slay the dragon. Let's go to work.
TV Show: Angel
Allen Doyle: [phone rings, Doyle answers] Angel Investigations. We hope you're helpless.
TV Show: Angel