Angel Quotes
Spike: [about Dana] The tingling in my forearms tells me she's too far gone to help. She's... one of us now. She's a monster.
Angel: She's an innocent victim.
Spike: So were we... once upon a time.
Angel: [understanding] Once upon a time.
Angel: She's an innocent victim.
Spike: So were we... once upon a time.
Angel: [understanding] Once upon a time.
TV Show: Angel
Cordelia: Spike's a hero and you're CEO of Hell, Incorporated. What frickin' bizzaro world did I wake up in?
TV Show: Angel
[After Angel stops Spike from biting Cordelia]
Spike: She's evil, you gormless tit!
Cordelia: Excuse me? Who bit whom?
Angel: Did you call me a tit?
Cordelia: I thought he had a soul.
Spike: I thought she didn't.
Cordelia: I do.
Spike: So do I.
Cordelia: Well, clearly mine's better!
Spike: She's evil, you gormless tit!
Cordelia: Excuse me? Who bit whom?
Angel: Did you call me a tit?
Cordelia: I thought he had a soul.
Spike: I thought she didn't.
Cordelia: I do.
Spike: So do I.
Cordelia: Well, clearly mine's better!
TV Show: Angel
Angel: We've got a problem, Eve.
Eve: Damn right, you do. When I tell the partners you assaulted me—
Angel: [pacing] A couple weeks ago, a man approached Spike. Told him that the Powers That Be have some missions for him. Spike, brain trust that he is, went along with it.
Spike: [insulted] Hey!
Angel: [standing in front of Eve now] He's the one who told Spike to save me from the parasite. The parasite you put on me in the first place.
Eve: Not this again.
[Eve starts to stand but Cordy steps in front of her.]
Cordelia: Get out of that chair and I will feed you those Manolo Blahniks. [looks at Eve's shoes] Which are stunning, by the way. [smirks]
Angel: Seems to me like you and this guy are working together.
Eve: [sits] Look, I don't know what you're talking about, but you—you can't keep me here. I have to leave.
Angel: But the thing that really, really pisses me off is that this guy seems to be going by the name of Doyle.
Eve: Doesn't ring a bell.
Cordelia: It does to me. [yelling in Eve's face] Rings a big fricking gong, and I wanna know who has the nerve to be using that name.
Angel: I'm gonna give you one chance to tell me where he is.
Eve: Damn right, you do. When I tell the partners you assaulted me—
Angel: [pacing] A couple weeks ago, a man approached Spike. Told him that the Powers That Be have some missions for him. Spike, brain trust that he is, went along with it.
Spike: [insulted] Hey!
Angel: [standing in front of Eve now] He's the one who told Spike to save me from the parasite. The parasite you put on me in the first place.
Eve: Not this again.
[Eve starts to stand but Cordy steps in front of her.]
Cordelia: Get out of that chair and I will feed you those Manolo Blahniks. [looks at Eve's shoes] Which are stunning, by the way. [smirks]
Angel: Seems to me like you and this guy are working together.
Eve: [sits] Look, I don't know what you're talking about, but you—you can't keep me here. I have to leave.
Angel: But the thing that really, really pisses me off is that this guy seems to be going by the name of Doyle.
Eve: Doesn't ring a bell.
Cordelia: It does to me. [yelling in Eve's face] Rings a big fricking gong, and I wanna know who has the nerve to be using that name.
Angel: I'm gonna give you one chance to tell me where he is.
TV Show: Angel
Cordelia: Angel, torture her.
Angel: What?
Eve: What?
Cordelia: You heard me. Building's clearing out, means we don't have a lot of time. Have at it.
Angel: I can't just torture her.
Fred: He's right, Cordy. If we sink to their level...
[Harmony races past them and starts attacking Eve]
Angel: Harmony!
Harmony: Is this okay? I mean, I am evil, technically. I don't mind torturing her for the team.
Angel: Yeah. Okay.
[Harmony punches Eve in the face]
Harmony: Come on, you hussy! [backhands Eve across the face] Spill it!
Angel: What?
Eve: What?
Cordelia: You heard me. Building's clearing out, means we don't have a lot of time. Have at it.
Angel: I can't just torture her.
Fred: He's right, Cordy. If we sink to their level...
[Harmony races past them and starts attacking Eve]
Angel: Harmony!
Harmony: Is this okay? I mean, I am evil, technically. I don't mind torturing her for the team.
Angel: Yeah. Okay.
[Harmony punches Eve in the face]
Harmony: Come on, you hussy! [backhands Eve across the face] Spill it!
TV Show: Angel
Wesley: Had to be someone else. Someone with the ability to slip past Wolfram & Hart security systems.
Lorne: Like our magically tattooed faux Doyle.
Angel: Spike, I don't wanna go in blind. Anything else you know about this guy?
Spike: Not much. Average size. Dressed like an urban cowboy. Got his hand chopped off once.
Cordy: His hand?
[Angel, Cordy, Wes, and Gunn realize who is impersonating Doyle.]
Wesley: He's back.
Angel: Lindsey.
Fred: Who?
Angel: Lock the building down, make sure he can't get out. Don't trust security systems. He won't show up because of those tattoos of his.
Wesley: There could be a way to fix that. I'll need some help.
Lorne: My dance card's free.
Fred: [to Angel] Who is Lindsey?
Cordelia: A lawyer. Wolfram & Hart's former golden boy, till he ran off to go find himself.
Angel: Yeah, he should've stayed lost. Harmony, guard Eve. She moves, eat her.
Harmony: [grins widely] Really? Thanks.
Lorne: Like our magically tattooed faux Doyle.
Angel: Spike, I don't wanna go in blind. Anything else you know about this guy?
Spike: Not much. Average size. Dressed like an urban cowboy. Got his hand chopped off once.
Cordy: His hand?
[Angel, Cordy, Wes, and Gunn realize who is impersonating Doyle.]
Wesley: He's back.
Angel: Lindsey.
Fred: Who?
Angel: Lock the building down, make sure he can't get out. Don't trust security systems. He won't show up because of those tattoos of his.
Wesley: There could be a way to fix that. I'll need some help.
Lorne: My dance card's free.
Fred: [to Angel] Who is Lindsey?
Cordelia: A lawyer. Wolfram & Hart's former golden boy, till he ran off to go find himself.
Angel: Yeah, he should've stayed lost. Harmony, guard Eve. She moves, eat her.
Harmony: [grins widely] Really? Thanks.
TV Show: Angel
Lindsey: [looking at the tank] Bye-bye, Angel.
[looks up to see Angel and Cordelia blocking the exit]
Angel: Hello, Lindsey.
Lindsey: [grins] And the hero arrives right on schedule. And with a date.
Cordelia: Yeah. Dinner and a show... and you're both.
[Angel walks slowly toward Lindsey with his arms crossed.]
Lindsey: Is this the part where I get all weak in the knees? Promise I'll never do it again?
Angel: Little late for that, Doyle.
Lindsey: There's always time for redemption. Isn't that your whole thing?
Angel: You had your chance. I guess some people, they just never change.
[Angel starts to backhand Lindsey, but Lindsey catches his hand mid-thrust and punches Angel in the ribs before throwing him hard across the room. Angel rollls across the floor into the opposite wall.]
Lindsey: I did.
[looks up to see Angel and Cordelia blocking the exit]
Angel: Hello, Lindsey.
Lindsey: [grins] And the hero arrives right on schedule. And with a date.
Cordelia: Yeah. Dinner and a show... and you're both.
[Angel walks slowly toward Lindsey with his arms crossed.]
Lindsey: Is this the part where I get all weak in the knees? Promise I'll never do it again?
Angel: Little late for that, Doyle.
Lindsey: There's always time for redemption. Isn't that your whole thing?
Angel: You had your chance. I guess some people, they just never change.
[Angel starts to backhand Lindsey, but Lindsey catches his hand mid-thrust and punches Angel in the ribs before throwing him hard across the room. Angel rollls across the floor into the opposite wall.]
Lindsey: I did.
TV Show: Angel
[Angel is fighting Lindsey, currently hand-to-hand]
Angel: All those tattoos.
[Ducks under a punch from Lindsey]
Angel: All those new tricks you've learned.
[Dodges another punch]
Angel: They just don't matter.
[Blocks Lindsey's next punch]
Angel: Doesn't matter what you try...
[Another punch is blocked]
Angel: Or where I am...
[Another blow is blocked]
Angel: Or how bad-ass you think you've become, because you know what?
[Grabs Lindsey by the throat and holds him up close to his face]
Angel: I'm Angel.
[Throws Lindsey away dismissively]
Angel: I beat the bad guys.
Angel: All those tattoos.
[Ducks under a punch from Lindsey]
Angel: All those new tricks you've learned.
[Dodges another punch]
Angel: They just don't matter.
[Blocks Lindsey's next punch]
Angel: Doesn't matter what you try...
[Another punch is blocked]
Angel: Or where I am...
[Another blow is blocked]
Angel: Or how bad-ass you think you've become, because you know what?
[Grabs Lindsey by the throat and holds him up close to his face]
Angel: I'm Angel.
[Throws Lindsey away dismissively]
Angel: I beat the bad guys.
TV Show: Angel
[Angel puts on his jacket. Cordelia walks into his office. Angel sighs.]
Cordelia: So, you feel good?
[Angel turns toward Cordelia]
Angel: Yeah, I do. I just... I kinda feel bad about it.
Cordelia: My God, you are a piece of work.
Angel: I just [laughs]...I just don't feel I deserve... I mean all I did was beat up a tiny Texan. [Angel sits down] Not like I helped anyone.
Cordelia: Sure you did.
Angel: Who?
Cordelia: Boy, I really do fall for dumb ones. You know how you're always trying to save, oh, every single person in the world? Did it ever occur to you: you are one of them?
Angel: No, it never did.
Cordelia: Well, you made the list, gorgeous. And you needed some help.
Angel: And you were the one that...helped me.
Cordelia: Did my part. [Cordelia sits next to Angel]
Angel: [chuckles] Lindsey wasted a lot of energy trying to make me doubt myself. I know it's not even close to over. I do feel like... I can do this. Wolfram and Hart, whatever's coming, I feel like we can beat it.
Cordelia: I know.
Angel: You do?
Cordelia: I always did. I... I just needed you to know it too.
Angel: So, all that stuff about the deals with the devil...
Cordelia: Is God's honest truth. But you're bigger than that. You'll win this in the end. [she gets up] I, uh, I just wish I could be there to see it. [sighs]
Angel: [he gets up] What do you mean? You're not...?
Cordelia: I can't stay. This isn't me anymore. You can say goodbye to the gang for me, explain everything, once you understand.
Angel: That's gonna be never. I... I need you here.
Cordelia: Don't make this hard, Angel. I'm just on a different road
Cordelia: So, you feel good?
[Angel turns toward Cordelia]
Angel: Yeah, I do. I just... I kinda feel bad about it.
Cordelia: My God, you are a piece of work.
Angel: I just [laughs]...I just don't feel I deserve... I mean all I did was beat up a tiny Texan. [Angel sits down] Not like I helped anyone.
Cordelia: Sure you did.
Angel: Who?
Cordelia: Boy, I really do fall for dumb ones. You know how you're always trying to save, oh, every single person in the world? Did it ever occur to you: you are one of them?
Angel: No, it never did.
Cordelia: Well, you made the list, gorgeous. And you needed some help.
Angel: And you were the one that...helped me.
Cordelia: Did my part. [Cordelia sits next to Angel]
Angel: [chuckles] Lindsey wasted a lot of energy trying to make me doubt myself. I know it's not even close to over. I do feel like... I can do this. Wolfram and Hart, whatever's coming, I feel like we can beat it.
Cordelia: I know.
Angel: You do?
Cordelia: I always did. I... I just needed you to know it too.
Angel: So, all that stuff about the deals with the devil...
Cordelia: Is God's honest truth. But you're bigger than that. You'll win this in the end. [she gets up] I, uh, I just wish I could be there to see it. [sighs]
Angel: [he gets up] What do you mean? You're not...?
Cordelia: I can't stay. This isn't me anymore. You can say goodbye to the gang for me, explain everything, once you understand.
Angel: That's gonna be never. I... I need you here.
Cordelia: Don't make this hard, Angel. I'm just on a different road
TV Show: Angel
Spike: Sneaky bastards, the SS. Don't ever go to a free virgin blood party. Turns out, it's probably a trap.
Angel: You were captured at a free virgin blood party?
Spike: I know. Who would've thought.
Angel: You were captured at a free virgin blood party?
Spike: I know. Who would've thought.
TV Show: Angel
Angel: We are not going to kill anyone, understood?
Spike: [Making a rude hand gesture at Angel]Heil Hitler.
Spike: [Making a rude hand gesture at Angel]Heil Hitler.
TV Show: Angel
Lawson: Aren't ya gonna ask me how I got in here?
Angel: No. You'd be amazed at how many people break into this building on a regular basis.
Angel: No. You'd be amazed at how many people break into this building on a regular basis.
TV Show: Angel
Illyria: This shell...you had affection for it. For Fred.
Spike: Tons. Loved the bird.
Illyria: Yet you strike at her form without sentiment.
Spike: You ain't her. I can see it. Lord knows I can smell it. And I got no problem hittin' it.
Spike: Tons. Loved the bird.
Illyria: Yet you strike at her form without sentiment.
Spike: You ain't her. I can see it. Lord knows I can smell it. And I got no problem hittin' it.
TV Show: Angel
Lawson: Did they at least torture you? Please tell me they did.
Angel: Never gave them a chance. Jumped ship... off the coast of Maine. Went underground till the war was over.
Lawson: Like any other coward.
Angel: Wars are won and lost by men.
Lawson: You mean...like me? No, wait, that doesn't apply anymore, does it?
Angel: I never wanted to do this to you.
Lawson: Oh, put your hanky away. I know how important the technology they pulled from the sub was to helping us stop the Germans. Sounded like a fair shake. One person damned to make the world safe for future generations. [looks over at Angel's gang] Except these guys.
Angel: Killing them's not going to change the past.
Lawson: But it'll hurt you. Maybe that's enough.
Angel: Never is.
Lawson: Then maybe I found my mission again after all these years.
Angel: Being an evil son of a bitch not keeping you busy?
Lawson: We all need a reason to live, even if we're already dead. Mom, apple pie, the stars and stripes... That was good enough for me till I met you. Then I had this whole creature-of-the-night thing going for me—the joy of destruction and death—and I embraced it. I did all the terrible things a monster does—murdered women and children, tortured fathers and husbands just to hear 'em scream—and through it all... I felt nothing. 60 years of blood drying in my throat like ashes. So what do you think? Is it me, chief? Or does everyone you sired feel this way?
Angel: You're the only one I ever did this to...after I got a soul.
Lawson: Do I have one, too?
Angel: I don't think it works that way, son.
Lawson: Didn't think so.
[Lawson attacks Angel.]
Angel: Never gave them a chance. Jumped ship... off the coast of Maine. Went underground till the war was over.
Lawson: Like any other coward.
Angel: Wars are won and lost by men.
Lawson: You mean...like me? No, wait, that doesn't apply anymore, does it?
Angel: I never wanted to do this to you.
Lawson: Oh, put your hanky away. I know how important the technology they pulled from the sub was to helping us stop the Germans. Sounded like a fair shake. One person damned to make the world safe for future generations. [looks over at Angel's gang] Except these guys.
Angel: Killing them's not going to change the past.
Lawson: But it'll hurt you. Maybe that's enough.
Angel: Never is.
Lawson: Then maybe I found my mission again after all these years.
Angel: Being an evil son of a bitch not keeping you busy?
Lawson: We all need a reason to live, even if we're already dead. Mom, apple pie, the stars and stripes... That was good enough for me till I met you. Then I had this whole creature-of-the-night thing going for me—the joy of destruction and death—and I embraced it. I did all the terrible things a monster does—murdered women and children, tortured fathers and husbands just to hear 'em scream—and through it all... I felt nothing. 60 years of blood drying in my throat like ashes. So what do you think? Is it me, chief? Or does everyone you sired feel this way?
Angel: You're the only one I ever did this to...after I got a soul.
Lawson: Do I have one, too?
Angel: I don't think it works that way, son.
Lawson: Didn't think so.
[Lawson attacks Angel.]
TV Show: Angel
Lawson: [To Angel] You gave me just enough, didn't you? Enough of your soul to keep me trapped between who I was and who I should be. I'm nothin'... because of you.
TV Show: Angel
[A spell has transformed Angel into a puppet.]
Fred: Oh, my God! Angel, you're... cute!
Puppet Angel: Fred, don't...
Fred: But the little hands! And the hair! [strokes his hair]
Puppet Angel: Hey! You're fired.
Fred: Oh, my God! Angel, you're... cute!
Puppet Angel: Fred, don't...
Fred: But the little hands! And the hair! [strokes his hair]
Puppet Angel: Hey! You're fired.
TV Show: Angel
Lorne: Maybe it's some kind of puppet... cancer?
Puppet Angel: [teeth gritted] I do not have puppet cancer!
Puppet Angel: [teeth gritted] I do not have puppet cancer!
TV Show: Angel
Spike: [barges into Angel's office] Hello, big guy! Need another car. Afraid this last one ended up in the drink... [stops in mid-thought when he sees puppet Angel sitting at the desk]
Puppet Angel: [anxiously] Spike...
Spike: [staring] Look at you.
Puppet Angel: [gesturing with his hands] Just turn around and walk away.
Spike: [still staring] You're a—
Puppet Angel: Spike!
Spike: You're a bloody puppet! [starts laughing uncontrollably]
Puppet Angel: [anxiously] Spike...
Spike: [staring] Look at you.
Puppet Angel: [gesturing with his hands] Just turn around and walk away.
Spike: [still staring] You're a—
Puppet Angel: Spike!
Spike: You're a bloody puppet! [starts laughing uncontrollably]
TV Show: Angel
Puppet Angel: What are you people looking at? Well?!
Spike: They're looking at the wee little puppet man.
Spike: They're looking at the wee little puppet man.
TV Show: Angel
Puppet Angel: [after beating Spike, to the bemused staff] Yes, I'm a puppet. Doesn't mean you don't have work to do. [walking back to his office] Harmony, get my call list.
Harmony: Um...
Puppet Angel: Spike needs a car.
Spike: [to Harmony] You heard the puppet.
Harmony: Um...
Puppet Angel: Spike needs a car.
Spike: [to Harmony] You heard the puppet.
TV Show: Angel
Wesley: [about Angel] He's realized Nina has feelings for him.
Fred: Well, took long enough.
Wesley: He can be rather dense.
Fred: Um... By the way, my car is in the shop again and I was thinking—
Wesley: Of course. [picks up the phone]
Fred: Maybe, you and I, we could—
Wesley: [holds up his hand to silence her] Yes, Ms. Burkle needs a driver to take her home tonight. That's right: 511 Windward Circle.
Fred: Well, took long enough.
Wesley: He can be rather dense.
Fred: Um... By the way, my car is in the shop again and I was thinking—
Wesley: Of course. [picks up the phone]
Fred: Maybe, you and I, we could—
Wesley: [holds up his hand to silence her] Yes, Ms. Burkle needs a driver to take her home tonight. That's right: 511 Windward Circle.
TV Show: Angel
[Angel tries to sew up an open slit on his head and fails.]
Angel: Stupid fingers! [string snaps] Stupid string!
Angel: Stupid fingers! [string snaps] Stupid string!
TV Show: Angel
Fred: I'm gonna study, mom. I'm gonna learn every damn thing they know up there, and then figure out some stuff they don't. And I'll be careful. I'll even be dull, boring. Cross my heart.
[cut to Fred menacingly screaming and burning demons with a flame-thrower]
[cut to Fred menacingly screaming and burning demons with a flame-thrower]
TV Show: Angel
Fred: Kind of cool, physiologically. They reproduce by vomiting up crystals that attract and mutate the microbes around them to form eggs.
Wesley: Are you trying to turn me on?
Wesley: Are you trying to turn me on?
TV Show: Angel
[Angel has been run through with a large sword by Spike; there's a creepy demon bug on his back, dangling from where the sword exits his body]
Spike: Fuss, fuss. The thing was about to strike. It was on your back. What was I supposed to do?
Angel: Ask me to turn around.
Spike: Heat of battle. There wasn't time.
Angel: You just like stabbing me.
Spike: I—I'm shocked— shocked that you'd say that. I much prefer hitting you with blunt instruments.
Spike: Fuss, fuss. The thing was about to strike. It was on your back. What was I supposed to do?
Angel: Ask me to turn around.
Spike: Heat of battle. There wasn't time.
Angel: You just like stabbing me.
Spike: I—I'm shocked— shocked that you'd say that. I much prefer hitting you with blunt instruments.
TV Show: Angel
Gunn: [singing] Three little maids who, all unwary,/ Come from a ladies' seminary,/ Freed from its genius tutelary—/ Three little maids from school!/ Three little maids —
[Gunn notices Wesley is at his door.]
Gunn: [rapping] ...and ya don't stop with all the ladies in the... gangsta but ... go [spoken] What's up?
Wesley: I should ask you. You seem unutterably cheery.
Gunn: I am. I am. Look...I gotta be straight with you, 'cause this is kinda blowin' my mind.
Wesley: Tell me.
Gunn: Fred and I are gettin' back together. [Wesley's smile melts] She was so keyed up from last night's fight, she asked me over. We ended up talkin' for hours, like old times. Then, all of a sud...I can't even keep this up, 'cause your face is gonna make me weep. Wes, I am so messin' with you.
[Gunn notices Wesley is at his door.]
Gunn: [rapping] ...and ya don't stop with all the ladies in the... gangsta but ... go [spoken] What's up?
Wesley: I should ask you. You seem unutterably cheery.
Gunn: I am. I am. Look...I gotta be straight with you, 'cause this is kinda blowin' my mind.
Wesley: Tell me.
Gunn: Fred and I are gettin' back together. [Wesley's smile melts] She was so keyed up from last night's fight, she asked me over. We ended up talkin' for hours, like old times. Then, all of a sud...I can't even keep this up, 'cause your face is gonna make me weep. Wes, I am so messin' with you.
TV Show: Angel
Spike: Harmony just pulled me out of a very promising poker game down in Accounts Receivable, so this better be good. Oh, and, by the way, all the guys down there agree that astronauts don't stand a chance against cavemen, so don't even start.
Angel: Look, I can't do this anymore.
Spike: Admitting defeat, are you?
Angel: You and me. This isn't working out.
Spike: [mock-dramatic] Are you saying we should start annoying other people?
Angel: Look, I can't do this anymore.
Spike: Admitting defeat, are you?
Angel: You and me. This isn't working out.
Spike: [mock-dramatic] Are you saying we should start annoying other people?
TV Show: Angel