Ugly Betty Quotes

Diane: Oh, my God! That is so romantic. It's like Julia Roberts flossing before whoring herself in "Pretty Woman."

TV Show: Ugly Betty
Christina: Back in Scotland I have a husband.
Amanda: Ooh, you just got 10% more interesting.
Christina: He's an insurance auditor.
Amanda: Okay, 5%.

TV Show: Ugly Betty
[At a natural disasters shoot.]
Betty: There is no one here who cares about changing the inside. They only care about fixing the outside.
Wilhelmina: What's stumpy up to now?
Betty: This concealer here, this isn't gonna change the fact that she doesn't have a house. And this, this eyeliner isn't going to bring back the people you loved. These women have lost everything and there is not enough styling gel in here to change that! [walks off]
Sheila: You know what, she's right. There's not enough styling gel.

TV Show: Ugly Betty
Amanda: Hey, what's different about you? You get your hair cut?
Betty: I'm wearing an eyepatch.
Amanda: You didn't always have that?

TV Show: Ugly Betty
Amanda: I haven't gained that much weight. You can't even notice. [leans over the desk to answer the phone as Wilhelmina walks in]
Wilhelmina: Morning, Marc, Betty.

TV Show: Ugly Betty
Amanda: [about Fey] I just stare at her picture all day and then I stare at myself in the mirror.
Marc: More than usual?
Amanda: Yeah.

TV Show: Ugly Betty
[Amanda has been given Fey's dog.]
Amanda: Suddenly I'm a caregiver. That is so not who I am.
Marc: It's true. You're a bit of a monster on the inside.

TV Show: Ugly Betty
Marc: [to Amanda] Okay, can we forget about your father and focus on your mother and what being Fey Sommers' daughter will get us, and by us I mean you, and by you I mean me.

TV Show: Ugly Betty
Amanda: Those are the DNA results.
Daniel: So... um, how many times you think we...
Amanda: A lot... But just remember: if your dad’s DNA does match mine, we’re only half brother and sister, which means if we did it like twenty times, it was only wrong ten.
Daniel: Okay, that actually made sense to me... Oh, my God. You are so my sister!

TV Show: Ugly Betty
Gio: [to a model] Okay, chicken and cheese special on a baguette, no cheese, no chicken, no baguette. I just sold her a plate of lettuce for seven bucks!
Betty: Yes, but that's for breakfast, lunch and dinner, so really it's a bargain!

TV Show: Ugly Betty
Betty: So, you're new. What happened to Robert?
Gio: I think he inherited money. Or got arrested. I don't know what happened. There was a lawyer and cash involved.

TV Show: Ugly Betty
Wilhelmina: Even if I wanted to express sympathy, I physically can't.

TV Show: Ugly Betty
Wilhelmina: [to Amanda] When Fey started puking up her breakfast, she was thrilled — until she found out she was pregnant.

TV Show: Ugly Betty
Prof. Bennett: If you have nothing to write, try killing yourself. If you fail, you'll have something to write about. If you succeed, your troubles will be over!

TV Show: Ugly Betty
Marc: What year were you born?
Amanda: 1991.
Marc: You're 16?
Amanda: 1992.
Marc: Other way.

TV Show: Ugly Betty
Amanda: Friends do not let friends wear glitter before noon!

TV Show: Ugly Betty
Christina: I'm going to put your profile on Bachelocity.com.
Betty: Internet dating? Why don't you just chop me into pieces yourself and cut out the middleman?

TV Show: Ugly Betty
Amanda: You and him?
Marc: Why not? He's a 9, I'm an 8.
Amanda: He's a 10, you're a 6.
Marc: You're a bitch, I'm a 7!

TV Show: Ugly Betty
Betty: Henry, please. Stop... stop being so nice. You're not making this any easier.
Henry: Well, what am I supposed to do?
Betty: I don't know. Kick a puppy, or knock over a midget.
Henry: I think the more considerate term is "little person."

TV Show: Ugly Betty
Betty: It's not like I'm writing "Betty loves Henry" all over my notebook.
Daniel: [pointing to her notebook] Um...
Betty: Shut up.

TV Show: Ugly Betty
Daniel: [to Betty] You've met my family. My mother was arrested for murder, and she's the nice one.

TV Show: Ugly Betty
Marc: Have you seen Cliff yet?
Amanda: Don't worry. Your wide-load lover will be here any minute.
Marc: Amanda, don't joke. I'm freaking out! I am debuting him today as my boyfriend and I have no idea what's gonna walk through that door.
Amanda: Sweetie, relax. He can't fit through those doors.

TV Show: Ugly Betty
Marc: [to Amanda] Your 15 minutes are almost up. Quincy Jones is on the 4th row. Now sing, bitch!

TV Show: Ugly Betty
[Wilhelmina comes out in her wedding gown.]
Vera Wang: Damn, I'm good!
Wilhelmina: I have a little problem with the train.
Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham: Now this is MAJOR! [comes out in her dress]

TV Show: Ugly Betty
Marc: I'm sorry Wili, but... she makes me feel tingly where no other girl has ever made me feel tingly!

TV Show: Ugly Betty
Wilhelmina: If I ate lunch, now would be the time to lose it.

TV Show: Ugly Betty
Marc: Is there water underneath you, because I think I smell a plan brewing?

TV Show: Ugly Betty
Henry: Pretend you're a hero in an action film.
Betty: Mexicans don't have action heroes, Henry. We have a speedy little mouse.

TV Show: Ugly Betty
Christina: [referring to a model] She won't come out of her dressing room unless she gets some booze or drugs.
Daniel: Did she mention anything about God?
Christina: Yeah, she spoke about Him. She said "God, I need some booze or drugs!"

TV Show: Ugly Betty
[Claire knocks Wilheimina into an open grave.]
Claire: All those in favour of removing Wilhelmina Slater as Creative Director at Mode, say "aye."
Daniel and Alexis: "Aye."
Claire: Motion passed. Rest in peace, bitch.

TV Show: Ugly Betty