The Vampire Diaries Quotes

Damon: I say we go to Pearl's and bust down the door and annihilate the idiot that attacked us last night.
Stefan: And then what? We turn to the rest of the house of vampires and say, 'oops, sorry.'
Elena: I can't believe you made a deal with her?
Damon: It was more like a helpful exchange of information. It's not like I had a choice. She's... scary. Besides, she's gonna help me get Katherine back.
Elena: Of course she is. Damon gets what he wants, as usual, no matter who he hurts in the process.
Damon: Well, you don't have to be snarky about it.
Elena: I woke up this morning to learn that all the vampires have been released from the tomb. I've earned snarky.
Damon: Ah... How long are you going to blame me for turning your birth mother in to a vampire?
Elena: I'm not blaming you, Damon. I've accepted the fact that you're a self serving psychopath with no redeeming qualities.
Damon: Ouch.
Stefan: This isn't being very productive. We're gonna figure out a way to deal with Pearl and the vampires, yeah?
Elena: I'm sorry. He just makes me so cranky.
Stefan: I know... He makes everybody cranky.
Elena: So,.. What are we gonna do?
Stefan: Damon and I are gonna handle everything. I promise.
Elena: Well,.. What about me. I can't just sit here and do nothing.
Stefan: That's exactly what you're gonna do because that's what's gonna keep you safe.
Elena: Which means nothing if you're not safe too.
Stefan: What do you mean? I'm perfectly safe. I have Damon, the self serving psychopath on my side.
Elena: That's comforting.

TV Show: The Vampire Diaries
Jeremy: "Does your mom know you're a...?
Anna: The fact that you would even think it's possible to keep something like that, a secret from your own family is just further proof that you're not ready.
Jeremy: 'Not ready' is a step up from 'no'.
Anna: And a million steps down from 'maybe'.

TV Show: The Vampire Diaries
Matt: I yelled at my mom last night. You know, I feel like the parent with the screwed up kid.
Caroline: Well, maybe she needed to hear it.
Matt: Yeah, but I worry that if I push too hard then she'll take off again 'cuz that's her M.O. Just like Vicki, who I haven't heard from since she left.
Caroline: Well, you can't control your mom, Matt, any more than you can control your sister.
Matt: I wish that she would just try, a little, you know. If she would just try to try, that would be okay.
Caroline: Maybe she'll surprise you. People have a tendency to do that. I should go before the roads get even worse from the storm.
Matt: Are you sure that you should be driving right now?
Caroline: I have to - it's my dad's boyfriend's daughter's birthday. We have a nontraditional traditional ritual.
Matt: Well, buckle up.

TV Show: The Vampire Diaries
Damon: Hunting party?
Stefan: That guy did a number on me last night when he stabbed me. I've got to get my strength back up.
Damon: I have two liters of soccer mom in the fridge.. no?
Stefan: We'll talk when I get back.
Damon: All right... Give my regards to the squirrels.

TV Show: The Vampire Diaries
Damon: You're ignoring me.
Elena: The six missed calls? Sorry. My phone's dead.
Damon: Is Stefan here?
Elena: No. Why? Is something wrong?
Damon: He went out in to the woods and didn't come back. I can't get him on his phone. I figured he was here with you.
Elena: It's going straight to voicemail. Where could he be?
Damon: You're not gonna like what I'm thinking.

TV Show: The Vampire Diaries
Damon: Pearl. Open this door or I swear I'll bust through and rip your head off.
Frederick: Pearl's not home. Mmm... Beautiful weather. Not a ray of sun in the sky.
Damon: Where's my brother?
Frederick: Billy. (Billy and another vampire are coming with Stefan.)
Damon: You are dead...
Frederick: I'm sorry you haven't been invited in. Miss Gibbons.
Miss Gibbons: Yes, Frederick, honey.
Frederick: Never let this bad man in.
Miss Gibbons: I'll never let him in.
Frederick: One hundred forty five years left starving in a tomb, thanks to Katherine's infatuation with you and your brother. First few weeks every single nerve in your body screams with fire... kind of pain that can drive a person mad. Well, I thought your brother might want to get a taste of that before I killed him. Billy! (Billy stakes Stefan in the abdomen, causing him to fall to his knees.) You have a nice day.

TV Show: The Vampire Diaries
Damon: Well, don't you look alive?
Alaric: You can't hurt me.
Damon: Oh, I can hurt you, all right.
Elena: Mr. Saltzman, we need your help. Stefan's in the house; Damon's a vampire, he can't get in. We need you. I would go, but...
Damon: But your life is valuable. Your's, on the other hand, is...
Elena: Stefan told me about your ring.
Alaric: What about it?
Damon: Let me re-cap: You tried to kill me, I defended myself, you died, and - according to my brother - your ring brought you back to life. Am I leaving anything out?
Alaric: Yeah... The part where I try and kill you again, only this time I don't miss.
Elena: Mr. Saltzman... Please. It's Stefan.
Alaric: I'm sorry, Elena. It's not my problem.
Damon: That's a shame, 'cause the woman in charge of the crowd can help you find your wife.
Alaric: You're lying.
Damon: Am I? Why don't you ask her for yourself? Coward. Come on, Elena.
Alaric: All right. Wait. I'll go.

TV Show: The Vampire Diaries
Jeremy: I wake up everyday and I feel okay. But there's something missing, like a hole. Some people, they fit in life or whatever. I don't.
Anna: So you want a pity turn? I don't think so.
Jeremy: You should turn me 'cause I don't have anything else.
Anna: Do you even know why we turn other people? It's not just to give someone a one way ticket out of lonerhood, okay? One, we need someone to do our dirty work. Two, revenge. Three, boredom, but you know that never turns out well. And then, you know, there's the obvious one - you love someone so much that you would do anything to spend all of eternity with them. I'm sorry but you don't fit any of those categories yet.

TV Show: The Vampire Diaries
Tyler: Be more creepy, dad. Not like your son is standing right here.
Mayor Lockwood: Grow up. Elections are coming. She's a constituent... and a rich one, from the looks of it.
Tyler: And you can tell all that by looking at her ass... Awesome. I'm gonna go shoot some pool.

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Damon: Teacher by day, vampire hunter by night.
Alaric: I have you to thank for that.

TV Show: The Vampire Diaries
Elena: Damon, now's not the time to be the Lone Ranger.

TV Show: The Vampire Diaries
Damon: Oh, I understand. He's the reason you live... His love lifts you up where you belong... I get it.
Elena: Can you just not joke around for 2 seconds.

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Damon: Miss Gibbons, now tell me the truth. Are you married?
Miss Gibbons: No.
Damon: Parents? Children? Anyone else who lives on this property?
Miss Gibbons: No, it's just me.
Damon: No? Good. (Damon snaps Miss Gibbon's neck)
Alaric: You were supposed to compel her!
Damon: It doesn't work that way.
Alaric: She's human.
Damon: And I'm not, so I don't care! Now get out of here... and get rid of the body.

TV Show: The Vampire Diaries
Pearl: I'm in the process of obtaining some property. I understand that your family is the largest property owner in town.
Mayor Lockwood: Well, yes we are... dating all the way back to the town's original charter.
Pearl: Your family came in to a lot of new property in 1864.
Mayor Lockwood: You know your history.
Pearl: It's a passion of mine.

TV Show: The Vampire Diaries
Tyler: The guy's not even subtle about it.
Matt: Who is that?
Tyler: It's not my mother.

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Frederick: Billy, Jacob, get back in here.

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Stefan: Thank you... for trying to help me.
Harper: They just needed somebody to blame, someone to punish.
[Elena enters the room]
Stefan: Elena. You shouldn't be here.

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Damon: [to Elena] You rescue, I'll distract. Go.

TV Show: The Vampire Diaries
Damon: How many of those Vervain darts do you have left?
Alaric: One.
Damon: Not gonna be enough.

TV Show: The Vampire Diaries
Alaric: What you said to get me to do this, about my wife, was a lie, wasn't it?
Damon: Yep.
Pearl (from outside): [from outside] Stop. What's going on here? [Pearl enters the house, looks around and then at Damon] What did you do?
Damon: Me? Your merry little band of vampires spent the day torturing my brother.
Pearl: Trust me. The parties responsible for this will be dealt with.
Damon: Our little arrangement doesn't work unless you learn to control them.
Pearl: This wasn't supposed to happen.
Damon: Well, it did. If I had a good side... not a way to get on it.

TV Show: The Vampire Diaries
Elena: How are you doing?
Stefan: Ah, I'm okay. The wounds have mostly healed.
Elena: Good.
Stefan: Elena.
Elena: Yeah.
Stefan: What you did today, coming to help me... you could have been killed.
Elena: I know.
Stefan: And what I did... I'm sorry, I'm sorry that you had to see it.
Elena: I've just never... You were like this other person, and it's my fault - I made you...
Stefan: What? No, no, no, no. You didn't make me do anything. You were saving my life. And I was saving yours. Everything's gonna be okay.

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Damon: That was fun. Oh... Don't look at me like that. I know you hate me. Guess what? Everyone hates me. But you can't deny we were bad-ass.

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Damon: Could you turn it up a little bit. It's not annoying... yet!
Stefan: Sorry.
Damon: When you going back to school?
Stefan: Soon.
Damon: Oh, come on... Just drink, already. Come on. This self-detox is not natural.
Stefan: Could you get that away from me, please?
Damon: How long did it take you to wean yourself off of it after you last indulged? [Stefan doesn't answer] That's not good.
Stefan: I'll be fine. It just takes a little bit of time.
Damon: I don't get it. You know you don't have to kill to survive. That's what blood banks are for. I haven't hunted a human in... God, way too long.
Stefan: Oh, I'm impressed.
Damon: It's completely self serving, trying to get the town off the trail of vampires. Which is not very easy, considering there's an entire tomb of them running around.
Stefan: What are we planning on doing about that?
Damon: You're not gonna be doing much of anything if you don't have your strength - there's nothing wrong with partaking in a healthy diet of human blood from a blood bank. You're not actually killing anyone.
Stefan: I have my reasons.
Damon: Well, what are those holier than thou reasons, because, you know, we've never actually discussed that. You know, I'd love to hear this story.
Stefan: You're really enjoying this, aren't you? Just watching me struggle.
Damon: Very much so.
Stefan: I hate to break it to you, Damon, but I actually have it under complete control.
Damon: You do? Oh, well, then you should just carry on making the rest of us vampires look bad. Have a great day, Stef... [Departs the room, leaving his glass of blood on a side table; Damon returns a moment later.] Oh, hey, almost forgot something... Oops.

TV Show: The Vampire Diaries
John: What's up with Jeremy?
Jenna: He just lost a friend, so try to be sensitive.
John: I'm always sensitive.
Jenna: Right. So, really, how long are you staying?
John: Can't you at least pretend that you're happy to see me?
Jenna: [acting perky and excited] Oh my god! John, it is so good to see you! How have you been? [Drops the act] No, I can't.
John: Did you really think I was gonna sign the escrow papers and send them back?
Jenna: Actually, I did.
John: I'm not gonna let you sell my brother's office.
Jenna: It's not up to you or me - it belongs to Jeremy and Elena.
John: They're minors, so I get the final say being that I'm the estate's trustee.

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Damon: He's a Gilbert?
Sheriff Forbes: Elena's uncle. His name is John, but I call him jackass.

TV Show: The Vampire Diaries
John: The Gilberts have been a part of this town for 150 years. One of the founding families. Along with that distinction, comes certain obligations, including going to the party. One day, when you can appreciate the significance, I'll tell you all about your heritage.
Jenna: Mmm... Gilbert family legacy. I forgot how sacred it was. I'm not a Gilbert, so I was never cool enough to hear it.
Jeremy: Why does she hate you?
John: We used to sleep together.
Jenna: [throws food at him] I'm standing right here!

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Damon: Did you know that your uncle's been kickin' it with the Founder's Council?
Elena: What?
Damon: Yep.
Elena: Perfect. We'll just add it to the growing list of how everything's falling apart.

TV Show: The Vampire Diaries
Damon: It is what it is, Elena. The Stefan you know is good behavior Stefan, reign it in Stefan, fight against this nature to an annoyingly obsessive level Stefan. But if you think there's not another part to this, than you have not been paying attention.
Elena: He is not you. Not even close.
Damon: Well, he's a wanna-be me. That doesn't mean deep down that he's not...

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Damon: Look at his right hand.
Alaric: Who's?
Damon: Town's favorite son. Look at his ring.
Alaric: It looks like mine.
Damon: Yeah... And that'd be a big coincidence if he didn't just come back from the dead five minutes ago. Where the hell did you get that ring?
Alaric: Isobel, my wife.
Damon: Who gave birth to Elena, under the medical care of the esteemed Dr. Grayson Gilbert... John's brother.
Alaric: You think John knew Isobel?
Damon: I think John knows a lot of things.

TV Show: The Vampire Diaries
Damon: Going somewhere?
John: Never liked to be the last one to leave a party... It's too desperate. You gonna kill me again or you gonna let Mr. Saltzman do your dirty work?"
Alaric: Okay. You obviously know who I am.
John: I do. Alaric Saltzman, the high school history teacher with a secret.
Damon: You sure know a lot for someone who just got to town.
John: More than you can imagine, Damon. My knowledge of this town goes beyond anything that you, or you, or the council, knows. So, if you were planning on some clever high speed snatch ring vamp kill move, know that if I die, everything I know goes to the council, including the fascinating little tale of the original Salvatore brothers and their present day return to Mystic Falls.
Alaric: How did you get that ring?
John: I inherited one. My brother, Gray, the other. This was his, although I wouldn't have given mine to Isobel had I known she'd hand it over to another guy.
Damon: So you did know her?
John: Who do you think sent her your way when she wanted to become a vampire?
Damon: You sent her?
John: Guilty. Why? Did you think someone else sent her? Maybe Katherine Pierce?
Damon: How do you know about Katherine?
John: How do I know anything, Damon?
Damon: What do you want?
John: So many questions. It's a pleasure meeting you, Ric. I've heard so much about you.

TV Show: The Vampire Diaries