The Nanny Quotes
Mr. Sheffield: I'm going to ask Fran to sign a pre-nuptial agreement.
Niles: Why don't you just walk around downtown Iraq dressed as Uncle Sam? It'd be quicker.
Niles: Why don't you just walk around downtown Iraq dressed as Uncle Sam? It'd be quicker.
TV Show: The Nanny
C.C. Replacement: Good night, Piles.
Niles: Niles.
C.C. Replacement: You say tomato...
Niles: You know something, lady? You're just a pale imitation of the C.C. Babcock I know. You're not half the man she is.
Niles: Niles.
C.C. Replacement: You say tomato...
Niles: You know something, lady? You're just a pale imitation of the C.C. Babcock I know. You're not half the man she is.
TV Show: The Nanny
Niles: I have not waited around five years for some little shiksa to come in and ruin my wedding.
Fran: Oh, thank you, Niles. You know, you could be Ma if it weren't for the whiskers. Although.
Fran: Oh, thank you, Niles. You know, you could be Ma if it weren't for the whiskers. Although.
TV Show: The Nanny
Sylvia: If you leave, I'm gonna throw myself in the Hudson River.
Fran: Ma, flooding New Jersey is not gonna solve anything.
Fran: Ma, flooding New Jersey is not gonna solve anything.
TV Show: The Nanny
Mr. Sheffield: I think you'd really like her, Sarah.
Sarah: I do, Max. Why do you think I sent her to you?
Mr. Sheffield: You sent her to me. And you heard her speak?
Sarah: I thought she had a cold.
Sarah: I do, Max. Why do you think I sent her to you?
Mr. Sheffield: You sent her to me. And you heard her speak?
Sarah: I thought she had a cold.
TV Show: The Nanny
Police Officer: [On the phone with a stranded Fran] Honey, it's a beautiful story. My heart goes out to you but I got one tow truck and a wedding is not an emergency... You're how old?... I'll send a chopper.
TV Show: The Nanny
Mr. Sheffield: What do you mean: "The wedding is over"?
Fran: Jocelyn and Lester are getting a divorce.
Mr. Sheffield: What's that to do with us?
Fran: Their marriage didn't work because they're from two different worlds just like us. I mean you're the sophisticated classy Jocelyn, and I'm Lester, the poor schlub who worked for you.
Mr. Sheffield: Oh, come on darling, you never really worked.
Fran: Jocelyn and Lester are getting a divorce.
Mr. Sheffield: What's that to do with us?
Fran: Their marriage didn't work because they're from two different worlds just like us. I mean you're the sophisticated classy Jocelyn, and I'm Lester, the poor schlub who worked for you.
Mr. Sheffield: Oh, come on darling, you never really worked.
TV Show: The Nanny
Yetta: [While dancing with C.C.] I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm a little turned on.
TV Show: The Nanny
Niles: Ms. Babcock. [Offers her a drink]
C. C.: Thank you, Niles, but, you know, I'm not supposed to [Gulps it down] do that.
Niles: How many times have you not done that tonight?
C.C.: About eight. Niles, now that Maxwell's taken, my life is over.
Niles: Ms. Babcock, you always underestimate yourself. You have a lot to offer a man. You're witty, you're sophisticated, you're beautiful, you're sexy...
C.C.: How many times have you done that tonight?
Niles: About twelve.
C. C.: Thank you, Niles, but, you know, I'm not supposed to [Gulps it down] do that.
Niles: How many times have you not done that tonight?
C.C.: About eight. Niles, now that Maxwell's taken, my life is over.
Niles: Ms. Babcock, you always underestimate yourself. You have a lot to offer a man. You're witty, you're sophisticated, you're beautiful, you're sexy...
C.C.: How many times have you done that tonight?
Niles: About twelve.
TV Show: The Nanny
Niles: [With a hangover] I had so much to drink at the reception. I had the strangest nightmare that Santa Claus was trying to have his way with me.
[C.C. enters with a hangover dressed in red]
C.C. & Niles: Oh my God.
C.C.: We didn't, did we?
Niles: I'm not sure. Say "Ho ho ho".
C.C.: No one can ever know that this might possibly have happened.
Niles: Well, it ain't going on my resume.
[C.C. enters with a hangover dressed in red]
C.C. & Niles: Oh my God.
C.C.: We didn't, did we?
Niles: I'm not sure. Say "Ho ho ho".
C.C.: No one can ever know that this might possibly have happened.
Niles: Well, it ain't going on my resume.
TV Show: The Nanny
Sylvia: I'm gonna call Morty and tell him to bring my nightgown. I'm sleeping over.
Niles: Is that really necessary?
Sylvia: Well, I could sleep in the nude. But there's the boy.
Niles: Is that really necessary?
Sylvia: Well, I could sleep in the nude. But there's the boy.
TV Show: The Nanny
Mr. Sheffield: Do you think I'm uptight?
Niles: Nope!
Mr. Sheffield: I won't fire you.
Niles: Yup!
Niles: Nope!
Mr. Sheffield: I won't fire you.
Niles: Yup!
TV Show: The Nanny
Brighton: Your voice carries.
Fran: All the way to your bedroom?
Brighton: To Michigan.
Fran: All the way to your bedroom?
Brighton: To Michigan.
TV Show: The Nanny
Fran: You just don't know how to work your father like I do.
Brighton: No, I don't look as good in a halter top as you do.
Brighton: No, I don't look as good in a halter top as you do.
TV Show: The Nanny
Maggie: Fran, I'm 20 years old. Doesn't Dad know that... you know... I'm active?
Fran: You doing the bing bing? I love that you feel so comfortable that you want to be totally honest with me so let me be totally honest with you... Get upstairs!! What are you, crazy?! You're never leaving my house again!!
Fran: You doing the bing bing? I love that you feel so comfortable that you want to be totally honest with me so let me be totally honest with you... Get upstairs!! What are you, crazy?! You're never leaving my house again!!
TV Show: The Nanny
Fran: How could they be contesting the adoption? On what grounds?
Mr. Sheffield: They think you're an unfit mother.
Fran: Unfit?! I'm in the best shape of my life. I know what this is all about. They don't like my people.
Mr. Sheffield: No, sweetheart, they're not anti-Semitic. They're best friends with the Rothchilds.
Fran: I meant my mother.
Mr. Sheffield: They think you're an unfit mother.
Fran: Unfit?! I'm in the best shape of my life. I know what this is all about. They don't like my people.
Mr. Sheffield: No, sweetheart, they're not anti-Semitic. They're best friends with the Rothchilds.
Fran: I meant my mother.
TV Show: The Nanny
Mr. Sheffield: You have absolutely nothing to confess. I know everything about you.
Fran: Everything? Even my age?
Mr. Sheffield: Actually, that was the one thing even the FBI couldn't verify. The closest they could get was 31.
Fran: 31?.... [Happily] Well, I guess the truth is out.
Fran: Everything? Even my age?
Mr. Sheffield: Actually, that was the one thing even the FBI couldn't verify. The closest they could get was 31.
Fran: 31?.... [Happily] Well, I guess the truth is out.
TV Show: The Nanny
Maggie: I am so nervous about my new boyfriend coming over for dinner tonight.
Niles: Why? Because you have to prepare the chateaubriand, polish the silver and comb the fringe around the area rugs?
Maggie: No, you do that.
Niles: Then chill out, girlie.
Niles: Why? Because you have to prepare the chateaubriand, polish the silver and comb the fringe around the area rugs?
Maggie: No, you do that.
Niles: Then chill out, girlie.
TV Show: The Nanny
Maggie: Because of your support, Michael and I have decided to move in together.
Fran: Honey, that's fantastic! Are you gonna be needing a nanny? Because I'm gonna be available.
Fran: Honey, that's fantastic! Are you gonna be needing a nanny? Because I'm gonna be available.
TV Show: The Nanny
[Catching Maggie in bed with Michael]
Mr. Sheffield: What the hell do you think you were doing?!
Fran: Well, I think it's pretty—
Mr. Sheffield: I know what they were doing! I wanna know why they were doing it!
Fran: Well, I think—
Mr. Sheffield: I know why they were doing it!
Mr. Sheffield: What the hell do you think you were doing?!
Fran: Well, I think it's pretty—
Mr. Sheffield: I know what they were doing! I wanna know why they were doing it!
Fran: Well, I think—
Mr. Sheffield: I know why they were doing it!
TV Show: The Nanny
Fran: [Reading a pregnancy test manual] It says: "If you're not pregnant, it'll turn pink. If you are pregnant, it will turn blue." As will we all. Oh, honey, this wouldn't have happened if you had just listened to me.
Maggie: Fran, you said I could do whatever I want in my own house.
Fran: WHATever, not WHOever!
Maggie: Fran, I'm so nervous.
Fran: Sweetie, listen, whatever happens, don't worry. You won't have to go through this by yourself.
Maggie: I'm so glad I have you.
Fran: I love you. [Hugs] I don't want to put pressure on you or anything but if for some reason you are pregnant, life is gonna change forever. No husband, no house, no money... and it ain't gonna be a picnic for you either.
Maggie: Fran, you said I could do whatever I want in my own house.
Fran: WHATever, not WHOever!
Maggie: Fran, I'm so nervous.
Fran: Sweetie, listen, whatever happens, don't worry. You won't have to go through this by yourself.
Maggie: I'm so glad I have you.
Fran: I love you. [Hugs] I don't want to put pressure on you or anything but if for some reason you are pregnant, life is gonna change forever. No husband, no house, no money... and it ain't gonna be a picnic for you either.
TV Show: The Nanny
Brighton: Gracie, I'm in so much trouble. I lost Yetta at the movies.
Grace: How could you lose a person?
Brighton: I don't know. One second, she's talking to a cardboard cutout of Walter Matthau and the next second she was just gone!
Grace: Did you ask the other cutouts?
Brighton: This is serious! There is a woman loose out there who is asking where Chucky's Bride is registered.
Grace: How could you lose a person?
Brighton: I don't know. One second, she's talking to a cardboard cutout of Walter Matthau and the next second she was just gone!
Grace: Did you ask the other cutouts?
Brighton: This is serious! There is a woman loose out there who is asking where Chucky's Bride is registered.
TV Show: The Nanny
Niles: Do you want to have a baby or not?
Mr. Sheffield: Well, after thinking about it... Yes, of course I want to have a baby with Fran because I love her.
Niles: Well, I'd better overhear you telling her this soon, mister, because I'm not getting any younger!
Mr. Sheffield: Well, after thinking about it... Yes, of course I want to have a baby with Fran because I love her.
Niles: Well, I'd better overhear you telling her this soon, mister, because I'm not getting any younger!
TV Show: The Nanny
Brighton: Niles, do you know what Mom and Dad have been up to?
Niles: Um... They're trying to co-produce a new project.
Grace: How? Dad's gonna let Fran handle his business?
Niles: [After a long pause] Eat your eggs.
Niles: Um... They're trying to co-produce a new project.
Grace: How? Dad's gonna let Fran handle his business?
Niles: [After a long pause] Eat your eggs.
TV Show: The Nanny
Whoopi Goldberg: Excuse me, what are you doing?
Fran: Oh, Miss Whoopi Goldberg! I'm so sorry, I just... I have to have sex right now!
Whoopi Goldberg: Now, usually they ask for my autograph.
Fran: Oh, Miss Whoopi Goldberg! I'm so sorry, I just... I have to have sex right now!
Whoopi Goldberg: Now, usually they ask for my autograph.
TV Show: The Nanny
Fran: [About her cold] My ears are so blocked I can't even hear myself.
Niles: Lucky you.
Niles: Lucky you.
TV Show: The Nanny
Fran: This is my first Thanksgiving where I'm eating for two.
Niles: You know, Sylvia, if you stop now, you can say the same.
Niles: You know, Sylvia, if you stop now, you can say the same.
TV Show: The Nanny
Niles: I'd love to lose more weight but nothing seems to kill my appetite.
Sylvia: Do what I did. I just looked at myself stark naked—
Niles: Thank you. That'll kill it.
Sylvia: Do what I did. I just looked at myself stark naked—
Niles: Thank you. That'll kill it.
TV Show: The Nanny
Fran: Niles, how am I ever going to tell Maxwell that my parents are staying here?
Niles: Quickly and without the negligee.
Fran: Maybe I shouldn't tell him at all. How long will it be before he notices?
Niles: Not long. He'll see her here for breakfast. He'll see her here for lunch. He'll see her here for dinner.
Fran: So I figure I've got at least 6 months?
Niles: Quickly and without the negligee.
Fran: Maybe I shouldn't tell him at all. How long will it be before he notices?
Niles: Not long. He'll see her here for breakfast. He'll see her here for lunch. He'll see her here for dinner.
Fran: So I figure I've got at least 6 months?
TV Show: The Nanny