Stargate SG-1 Quotes
[President Hayes is reading through SG-1's reports]
Pres. Hayes: "Hosted alien dignitaries"… "Acquired alien technology"… "Traveled back in time"? …Did they really blow up a sun?
Gen. Maynard: As I understand it, sir, yes they did.
Pres. Hayes: That's gotta look awfully good on the ol' résumé, eh?
Pres. Hayes: How these people maintain their sanity is beyond me. I'm having trouble just sitting here listening to it.
Pres. Hayes: "Hosted alien dignitaries"… "Acquired alien technology"… "Traveled back in time"? …Did they really blow up a sun?
Gen. Maynard: As I understand it, sir, yes they did.
Pres. Hayes: That's gotta look awfully good on the ol' résumé, eh?
Pres. Hayes: How these people maintain their sanity is beyond me. I'm having trouble just sitting here listening to it.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Lee: Gamma radiation seems to work. We're preparing a method of delivering a strong enough level to the entire base all at once. Now, non-essential personnels are gonna have to be evacuated, everyone else's gonna have to wear protective suits. You have to get General O'Neill to sign off on this right away.
Gilmore: You know he hasn't slept in over two days.
Dr. Lee: Yeah, that's why I'm asking you to do it.
Gilmore: Right.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Maj. Carter: ... It will overwhelm his nervous system, and the Colonel will....
Col. O'Neill: What? Meet my maker? Pay the piper? Reach the pearly gates? Start pushing up daisies here and there?
Gen. Hammond: Colonel, you should be in the infirmary.
Col. O'Neill: Why? We all know exactly what's gonna happen. In a few days I start speaking some strange language. A few days after that I start doing things beyond my control, and a few days after that, it's goodnight my someone, goodnight. So with your permission sir I'd like to take the weekend to get some personal things together.
Maj. Carter: The last time, it did take a couple of days before we noticed any change in the Colonel's behavior.
Col. O'Neill: I'll be back on Monday ready to work.
Gen. Hammond: Permission granted.
Col. O'Neill: Thank you sir. Now if you'll excuse me, my favorite television show starts in half an hour. [He walks away]
Col. O'Neill: What? Meet my maker? Pay the piper? Reach the pearly gates? Start pushing up daisies here and there?
Gen. Hammond: Colonel, you should be in the infirmary.
Col. O'Neill: Why? We all know exactly what's gonna happen. In a few days I start speaking some strange language. A few days after that I start doing things beyond my control, and a few days after that, it's goodnight my someone, goodnight. So with your permission sir I'd like to take the weekend to get some personal things together.
Maj. Carter: The last time, it did take a couple of days before we noticed any change in the Colonel's behavior.
Col. O'Neill: I'll be back on Monday ready to work.
Gen. Hammond: Permission granted.
Col. O'Neill: Thank you sir. Now if you'll excuse me, my favorite television show starts in half an hour. [He walks away]
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[At Col. O'Neill's house]
Col. O'Neill: Hammond send you by to check up on me?
Maj. Carter: No! It's funny really, I was out driving, you know....in my car, and I um... I drove here. [Laughs nervously] Yeah ...
Col. O'Neill: [Mockingly] "Funny."
Maj. Carter: Yeah...
Col. O'Neill: Hammond send you by to check up on me?
Maj. Carter: No! It's funny really, I was out driving, you know....in my car, and I um... I drove here. [Laughs nervously] Yeah ...
Col. O'Neill: [Mockingly] "Funny."
Maj. Carter: Yeah...
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Maj. Carter: Sir? [Sits down next to him on the sofa]
Col. O'Neill: [After a long pause of her just staring at him] What?
Maj. Carter: I should have done it.
Col. O'Neill: What? Stuck your head in that thing? Are you nuts? Carter. You're one of this country's natural resources. If not National treasures. It couldn't have gone down any other way. I just hope it's worth it...
Maj. Carter: Even if we do find the Lost City. Even if we get there and find exactly what we're looking for to defend the planet....
Col. O'Neill: [Interrupts her] THAT ... would be worth it. [Jack and Sam stare at each other until a knock at the door interrupts their moment]
Daniel Jackson: [Opens the front door and pops his head in] Hello!?
Col. O'Neill: [Sam smiles in disappointment. Jack sideways glances at her before calling out to Daniel and Teal'c] In here!
Daniel Jackson: [He and Teal’c slowly walk in the door. They peer around the corner ans see Sam and Jack sitting close] Oh sorry, are we interrupting anything?
Col. O'Neill and Maj. Carter: [Dismissively] No...
Col. O'Neill: What are you doing here?
Daniel Jackson: Oh we ... well it's ... it's a funny story actually. We, we, ah, were driving by and we, uh ... saw Sam's car in the driveway, and ... and ... uh ...
Col. O'Neill: [Nudging Sam's arm, sarcastically] Funny.
Daniel Jackson: ... Teal'c said to me. Well he didn't actually say anything. He just kinda looked at me and did that eyebrow raise thing that he kinda does and I said to him, I said 'hey, why don't we stop by and'...
Col. O'Neill: [Interrupts Daniel] Is that doughnuts?
Teal'c: [Holds up the box, beaming] Indeed!
Col. O'Neill: [a la Monty Burns] Exc
Col. O'Neill: [After a long pause of her just staring at him] What?
Maj. Carter: I should have done it.
Col. O'Neill: What? Stuck your head in that thing? Are you nuts? Carter. You're one of this country's natural resources. If not National treasures. It couldn't have gone down any other way. I just hope it's worth it...
Maj. Carter: Even if we do find the Lost City. Even if we get there and find exactly what we're looking for to defend the planet....
Col. O'Neill: [Interrupts her] THAT ... would be worth it. [Jack and Sam stare at each other until a knock at the door interrupts their moment]
Daniel Jackson: [Opens the front door and pops his head in] Hello!?
Col. O'Neill: [Sam smiles in disappointment. Jack sideways glances at her before calling out to Daniel and Teal'c] In here!
Daniel Jackson: [He and Teal’c slowly walk in the door. They peer around the corner ans see Sam and Jack sitting close] Oh sorry, are we interrupting anything?
Col. O'Neill and Maj. Carter: [Dismissively] No...
Col. O'Neill: What are you doing here?
Daniel Jackson: Oh we ... well it's ... it's a funny story actually. We, we, ah, were driving by and we, uh ... saw Sam's car in the driveway, and ... and ... uh ...
Col. O'Neill: [Nudging Sam's arm, sarcastically] Funny.
Daniel Jackson: ... Teal'c said to me. Well he didn't actually say anything. He just kinda looked at me and did that eyebrow raise thing that he kinda does and I said to him, I said 'hey, why don't we stop by and'...
Col. O'Neill: [Interrupts Daniel] Is that doughnuts?
Teal'c: [Holds up the box, beaming] Indeed!
Col. O'Neill: [a la Monty Burns] Exc
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Everyone is very drunk]
Col. O'Neill: You are so wrong. It's a perfect analogy: Burns as Goa'uld.
Teal'c: They are merely animated characters, O'Neill.
Col. O'Neill: You are so shallow.
Dr. Jackson: Oh, Please! Teal'c's like one of the deepest people I know. He's so deep. [to Teal'c] Come-come on, tell 'em how deep you are. [to O'Neill, excitedly] You'll be lucky if you understand this.
Teal'c: My depth is immaterial to this conversation.
Dr. Jackson: Oooo! Y'see!
Col. O'Neill: No more beer for you.
Maj. Carter: I'm sorry, sir, but I have to agree. I don't see the connection.
Col. O'Neill: All right, that does it. You know, the entire VHS collection was going to one of you. It's going to Siler. He gets it.
Col. O'Neill: I hope you like Guinness, sir. I find it a refreshing substitute for… food.
Col. O'Neill: You are so wrong. It's a perfect analogy: Burns as Goa'uld.
Teal'c: They are merely animated characters, O'Neill.
Col. O'Neill: You are so shallow.
Dr. Jackson: Oh, Please! Teal'c's like one of the deepest people I know. He's so deep. [to Teal'c] Come-come on, tell 'em how deep you are. [to O'Neill, excitedly] You'll be lucky if you understand this.
Teal'c: My depth is immaterial to this conversation.
Dr. Jackson: Oooo! Y'see!
Col. O'Neill: No more beer for you.
Maj. Carter: I'm sorry, sir, but I have to agree. I don't see the connection.
Col. O'Neill: All right, that does it. You know, the entire VHS collection was going to one of you. It's going to Siler. He gets it.
Col. O'Neill: I hope you like Guinness, sir. I find it a refreshing substitute for… food.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Jackson: I remember when we were first trying to get the Stargate to work, I would come here and just stare at it for hours.
Dr. Weir: Is that a gentle reminder that you've been an important part of this since the very beginning?
Dr. Jackson: Subtle, huh?
Dr. Weir: Is that a gentle reminder that you've been an important part of this since the very beginning?
Dr. Jackson: Subtle, huh?
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Weir: I've been awake all weekend. The reality of this is…it's an adrenaline rush.
Dr. Jackson: Hey, at least I know you have a beating heart!
Dr. Jackson: Hey, at least I know you have a beating heart!
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Anubis has announced his plan to invade Earth in three days.]
Col. O'Neill: Three days from now's a Thursday. Thursday's no good for us.
Col. O'Neill: Three days from now's a Thursday. Thursday's no good for us.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Master Bra'tac comes through the Stargate, walks down the ramp and gives Dr. Weir an odd look.]
Dr. Jackson: This is Dr. Elizabeth Weir. She's the new leader of this facility.
[Dr. Weir extends her hand.]
Dr. Weir: Hello.
Bra'tac: Has Hammond of Texas fallen in battle?
Dr. Weir: Oh, no sir, he's fine!
Dr. Jackson: This is Dr. Elizabeth Weir. She's the new leader of this facility.
[Dr. Weir extends her hand.]
Dr. Weir: Hello.
Bra'tac: Has Hammond of Texas fallen in battle?
Dr. Weir: Oh, no sir, he's fine!
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: And you are?
Dr. Weir: I am Dr. Elizabeth Weir.
Vice President Kinsey: You can just call her your one hope of ever stepping through the stargate again.
Col. O'Neill: Bit of a mouthful.
Dr. Weir: I know I'm playing catch-up, but uh, I understand time is short.
Col. O'Neill: Actually it's all relative, ma'am; Carter could explain it better if we had more time.
Dr. Weir: I am Dr. Elizabeth Weir.
Vice President Kinsey: You can just call her your one hope of ever stepping through the stargate again.
Col. O'Neill: Bit of a mouthful.
Dr. Weir: I know I'm playing catch-up, but uh, I understand time is short.
Col. O'Neill: Actually it's all relative, ma'am; Carter could explain it better if we had more time.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Jackson: "Praclarush Taonas." Jack, this is it!
Col. O'Neill: See, I assume we still speak the same language, mostly.
Dr. Jackson: Sphere: Planet. Label: Name.
Col. O'Neill: Following. Still. You. Not!
Col. O'Neill: See, I assume we still speak the same language, mostly.
Dr. Jackson: Sphere: Planet. Label: Name.
Col. O'Neill: Following. Still. You. Not!
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[SG-1 is taking a great deal of equipment through the Stargate]
Dr. Weir: Well, have you got everything you need? I think there's still a sink left in the kitchen.
Col. O'Neill: Is that a joke?
Dr. Weir: Perhaps. A bad one
Col. O'Neill: Yes. Very bad. But I sense hope for you.
Dr. Weir: Well, have you got everything you need? I think there's still a sink left in the kitchen.
Col. O'Neill: Is that a joke?
Dr. Weir: Perhaps. A bad one
Col. O'Neill: Yes. Very bad. But I sense hope for you.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[SG1 and Bra'tac are in the scout ship]
Col. O'Neill: [Making adjustments to the crystals] Give me your zat. [Sam hands over a zat and Jack shoots the crystals. The engine sound increases. Jack closes the zat and hands it back to Sam.] There you go.
Maj. Carter: Sir. I think you should know that General Hammond authorised me to take command of the team if I determined that you ...
Col. O'Neill: [Interrupts her] Do it now.
Maj. Carter: Sir, I don’t think that’s necessary ...
Col. O'Neill: I trust you. I’ll make it easy for you. I resign. You’re in charge.
Maj. Carter: [Hesitates] Ok... Sir, at your house before Daniel and Teal’c showed up, what I was gonna say was ...
Col. O'Neill: I know. [They stare at each other]
Col. O'Neill: [Making adjustments to the crystals] Give me your zat. [Sam hands over a zat and Jack shoots the crystals. The engine sound increases. Jack closes the zat and hands it back to Sam.] There you go.
Maj. Carter: Sir. I think you should know that General Hammond authorised me to take command of the team if I determined that you ...
Col. O'Neill: [Interrupts her] Do it now.
Maj. Carter: Sir, I don’t think that’s necessary ...
Col. O'Neill: I trust you. I’ll make it easy for you. I resign. You’re in charge.
Maj. Carter: [Hesitates] Ok... Sir, at your house before Daniel and Teal’c showed up, what I was gonna say was ...
Col. O'Neill: I know. [They stare at each other]
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: Then you know more than I do.
Maj. Carter: No, sir, I don’t. Now... sit down and take a look. [Pauses awkwardly] That’s an order.
Col. O'Neill: [Jack walks past Sam on his way to take the controls of the scout ship] Easy.
Maj. Carter: No, sir, I don’t. Now... sit down and take a look. [Pauses awkwardly] That’s an order.
Col. O'Neill: [Jack walks past Sam on his way to take the controls of the scout ship] Easy.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[A hologram of Anubis appears in the Oval Office. Everyone in the office begins to act frightened except for President Hayes.]
Anubis: I am Anubis.
[President Hayes steps forward.]
President Hayes: You've got to be kidding!
Anubis: You are the leader of this world?
Pres. Hayes: Henry Hayes, President of the United States of America, one nation among many.
Anubis: No more. Bow before your god.
Pres. Hayes: [laughs] I don't think so! However, I am willing to discuss your surrender.
Anubis: If you possessed weapons matching mine, you would have used them.
Pres. Hayes: Don't let the suit fool you, fella. We're gonna fight.
Anubis: You bring destruction upon yourselves.
Pres. Hayes: [pointedly] Never going to happen.
[The hologram of Anubis disappears; President Hayes turns around to face the others.]
Pres. Hayes: Too much?
Anubis: I am Anubis.
[President Hayes steps forward.]
President Hayes: You've got to be kidding!
Anubis: You are the leader of this world?
Pres. Hayes: Henry Hayes, President of the United States of America, one nation among many.
Anubis: No more. Bow before your god.
Pres. Hayes: [laughs] I don't think so! However, I am willing to discuss your surrender.
Anubis: If you possessed weapons matching mine, you would have used them.
Pres. Hayes: Don't let the suit fool you, fella. We're gonna fight.
Anubis: You bring destruction upon yourselves.
Pres. Hayes: [pointedly] Never going to happen.
[The hologram of Anubis disappears; President Hayes turns around to face the others.]
Pres. Hayes: Too much?
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Pres. Hayes: Will you shut the hell up?
Dr. Weir: Sorry, sir.
Pres. Hayes: Not you, Doctor.
Kinsey: Excuse me?
Pres. Hayes: Consider your resignation accepted, Bob.
Kinsey: You can't do that!
Pres. Hayes: Oh, please! I've got enough on you to have ya shot.
Kinsey: This is the biggest mistake you will ever make.
Pres. Hayes: But I think I'll stick to my original thought, which is shut the hell up!
Dr. Weir: Sorry, sir.
Pres. Hayes: Not you, Doctor.
Kinsey: Excuse me?
Pres. Hayes: Consider your resignation accepted, Bob.
Kinsey: You can't do that!
Pres. Hayes: Oh, please! I've got enough on you to have ya shot.
Kinsey: This is the biggest mistake you will ever make.
Pres. Hayes: But I think I'll stick to my original thought, which is shut the hell up!
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Teal'c: Anubis could not have missed our arrival.
Bra'tac: You are correct. Alkesh and gliders approach. Many.
[Cut to the outside with the hovering shuttle burning through the ice with a white hot beam. In the distance a large swarm of gliders and several Alkesh bear down upon the shuttle.]
Bra'tac: They will be in firing range in thirty seconds. More ships approach from the opposite direction.
Maj. Carter: [turning to the back of the shuttle's cargo bay where O'Neill is] Sir! We are about to get our ...!
Bra'tac: They are NOT Goa'uld.
[Outside the swarm of Goa'uld ships fly in a tight formation when suddenly two missles hit one of the Alkesh blowing it from the sky. More missles hit, blowing apart gliders and Alkesh as several squadrons of F-302 fighters intercept the Goa'uld ships bringing them down short of the shuttle. Behind the fighters the massive Prometheus slides over the shuttle shielding it from further attacks.]
General Hammond: [On the bridge of the Prometheus] Protect that scout ship at all costs!
Bra'tac: You are correct. Alkesh and gliders approach. Many.
[Cut to the outside with the hovering shuttle burning through the ice with a white hot beam. In the distance a large swarm of gliders and several Alkesh bear down upon the shuttle.]
Bra'tac: They will be in firing range in thirty seconds. More ships approach from the opposite direction.
Maj. Carter: [turning to the back of the shuttle's cargo bay where O'Neill is] Sir! We are about to get our ...!
Bra'tac: They are NOT Goa'uld.
[Outside the swarm of Goa'uld ships fly in a tight formation when suddenly two missles hit one of the Alkesh blowing it from the sky. More missles hit, blowing apart gliders and Alkesh as several squadrons of F-302 fighters intercept the Goa'uld ships bringing them down short of the shuttle. Behind the fighters the massive Prometheus slides over the shuttle shielding it from further attacks.]
General Hammond: [On the bridge of the Prometheus] Protect that scout ship at all costs!
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[The Ancientweapons are destroying the Goa'uld fleet]
He'rak: Our shields are of no use!
Anubis: NOOOO!
[Anubis' mothership explodes]
He'rak: Our shields are of no use!
Anubis: NOOOO!
[Anubis' mothership explodes]
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[In in the ice cave. Jack is in the Ancient chair. He passes out]
Maj. Carter: Sir? [She goes over to Jack and straightens his head to feel his pulse] Sir... His pulse is erratic. [To Jack] Don’t you dare leave us now. We won. [Jack part-opens his eyes and moves his head weakly. Sam takes hold of his chin.] Colonel.
Maj. Carter: Sir? [She goes over to Jack and straightens his head to feel his pulse] Sir... His pulse is erratic. [To Jack] Don’t you dare leave us now. We won. [Jack part-opens his eyes and moves his head weakly. Sam takes hold of his chin.] Colonel.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[SG-1 has just placed a dying O'Neill in stasis]
Maj. Carter: We can't just leave him like this! Th-there has to be a way to reverse the process. The answer has to be here.
Dr. Jackson: I don't think this is it, Sam.
Maj. Carter: What do you mean?
Dr. Jackson: The dome is too small. It's like Taonas. It's obviously not a city, it's just an outpost of some kind.
Maj. Carter: This isn't Atlantis?
Dr. Jackson: I don't think so.
Teal'c: If this is not the Lost City...then where is it?
Maj. Carter: We can't just leave him like this! Th-there has to be a way to reverse the process. The answer has to be here.
Dr. Jackson: I don't think this is it, Sam.
Maj. Carter: What do you mean?
Dr. Jackson: The dome is too small. It's like Taonas. It's obviously not a city, it's just an outpost of some kind.
Maj. Carter: This isn't Atlantis?
Dr. Jackson: I don't think so.
Teal'c: If this is not the Lost City...then where is it?
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Maj. Carter enters Dr Weir's office]
Maj. Carter: That cargo ship was modified using the knowledge of the Ancients. Now, there is no guarantee that anyone will ever be able to figure out how it was done.
Dr. Weir: And as the most likely person on the planet to figure it out, are you saying that if I don’t let you attempt to contact the Asgard, you won’t even try?
Maj. Carter: (smiling sarcastically): I would never say that.
Maj. Carter: That cargo ship was modified using the knowledge of the Ancients. Now, there is no guarantee that anyone will ever be able to figure out how it was done.
Dr. Weir: And as the most likely person on the planet to figure it out, are you saying that if I don’t let you attempt to contact the Asgard, you won’t even try?
Maj. Carter: (smiling sarcastically): I would never say that.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1