Stargate SG-1 Quotes

Eamon: (to Del Tynan) Has it occurred to you that maybe the reason you've been passed over so many times is not because you're a human, but because you're a moron?
(later, as Del Tynan's boss, Miles Hagan has him arrested)
Miles Hagan: (To Del Tynan) The reason you haven't been promoted is because you've been under investigation for corruption for the last 12 months. And you're a moron.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: How many times have I told you? Don't get caught by the bad guys!

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Jackson: You're just sore that you lost.
Maj. Carter: Well, come on. It wasn't fair! Bunch of cheaters…
Dr. Jackson: So, whatcha gonna do?
Maj. Carter: Next year, I'm gonna kick butt.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Warrick: [handing Carter a thick binder] Major Carter, if you are to be my co-pilot, you will need to know how the ship works.
Maj. Carter: What is this? [she opens the binder and begins to leaf through]
Warrick: A complete operations manual for the Seberus, I had it translated for you.
Maj. Carter: Thank you!
Col. O'Neill: [looking at the manual over Carter's shoulder] That's not our language!
Maj. Carter: It's mine, Sir.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Warrick: I will go myself and pick one up after I get back from escorting Col. O'Neill, Dr. Jackson and Teal'c to the Hebridan capital building.
Col. O'Neill: T, you coming?
Teal'c: Major Carter has requested that I remain, so that I may assist her.
Col. O'Neill: She did?
Maj. Carter: I did? Yes. Thank you.
Teal'c: I do not wish to disappoint Major Carter
Col. O'Neill: Yes... I know the feeling.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Maj. Carter: It's an energy-based weapon, sir. It could, potentially, replace the missiles on the X-303.
Col. O'Neill: Phaser?
Chloe: More like a photon torpedo.


Felger: This is the very spot I was standing when I figured out how to recombine epsilon particles in a sub-space matrix. Then I got mugged by some teenagers.



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: Felger's virus? I told you not to trust that brown nosin' little weasal!

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Felger: It's pretty cool, isn't it? You and I working together? We're sort of like the intellectual Butch and Sundance of the SGC.
Maj. Carter: Butch and Sundance got cornered and killed by the Bolivian army.
[Jaffa appear]
Maj. Carter: We've got trouble!
Felger: What kind of trouble?
Maj. Carter: Think "Bolivia"!

TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Dr. Jackson explains to Nesa that he needs glasses because he can't see well]
Nesa: Perhaps you are in need of a symbiote.
Dr. Jackson: Yeah, I'll just stick with the glasses.


Neith: Why have we brought them here?
Mala: Because that was the mission.
Neith: Why wasn't I told?
Mala: Because we knew you would disagree.


[Speaking of the Hak'tyl]
Dr. Jackson: I can't help but think of the ancient Greek amazon mythos.
Col. O'Neill: Yes. Me too.
Dr. Jackson: They were female warriors who occasionally captured men from other tribes in order to mate with them. Would often, um, would sometimes remove their right breasts so they could more easily fire a bow and arrow.
Col. O'Neill: I see neither bow nor arrow.
Dr. Jackson: No.
Col. O'Neill: Wait, you don't s'pose that's why they want us, do you? You know, the three of us.
Dr. Jackson: To...to mate with? No, I don't think so.
Col. O'Neill: Cause you know me, I'm all for helping people.
Maj. Carter: [laughing] Oh, God!

TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. Reynolds: Not much faith in Plan A?
Col. O'Neill: Since when has Plan A ever worked?


Col O'Neill: [To Ramius] Greetings! Well, uh, I know how this looks. So, I think it's important we clear up any misunderstanding right away. We did not come to kill you. Honest. Am I right!? The fact is, and this is the fun part, we actually came to save your ass...es. All your asses. Do you see the irony? All right, there's this guy out there, big guy, big guy in a black suit. None too fond of you Goa'ulds. Well, anyway, he's the one we're after, not you. So if you want to let us go, we'll be on our way, to save the world another da—you're not buying this, are you?
Ramius: Jaffa, Kree!
[Ramius and his guards leave]
Maj. Carter: That went well.
Col. O'Neill: That went well.


Teal'c: Your lord will be slain as will you, if you do not free us.
Jaffa: My god will fight for his people.
Bratac: Your god is cowering right now like a frightened child. I have seen it before!
Teal'c: Ramius will have you all die for him, while he attempts to escape!

TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Maj. Carter: The clue for seven down is "celestial body." He wrote "Uma Thurman."
Col O'Neill: [smiling] Yes.



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: Daniel... I don't speak Ancient... yet, and when I do.. eventually, you know I'll never understand it.
Dr. Jackson: You have to try.
Col. O'Neill: Last time, things just popped into my fron.
Dr. Jackson: Fron is head.
Col. O'Neill: See. I have no idea what you are talking about.



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[O'Neill has torn Jackson's Tau'ri patch off his shoulder and is staring at it.]
Dr. Jackson: Jack, what are you doing?
Col. O'Neill: At.
Maj. Carter: What?
Col. O'Neill: At.
Dr. Jackson: This.
Col. O'Neill: That.
Dr. Jackson: That is at?
Col. O'Neill: You can stop... that.



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Sgt. Siler: [adjusting Jacob's armor] How's that, sir?
Jacob: Pretty good. Reminds me of my old football days.
Sgt. Siler: They had helmets back in those days, sir?
Jacob: Funny.


Bra'tac: Teal'c! Are you hurt?
Teal'c: Indeed.
Bra'tac: Where?
Teal'c: My pride.


Jacob: Sam. Sam.
Major Carter: (grimacing) ugh.
Jacob: No lie still. Where does it hurt?
Major Carter: Everywhere.
Jacob: That's a good sign.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Burke : Watch your step ladies we're not in Minnesota anymore.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Burke: [pointing to the Ancient device] Is that that thing that made that guy do that thing?
Dr. Jackson: Yeah, it's okay, it's off now.
Col. O'Neill: Good. That's good.
Dr. Lee: Yeah, at least we think it's off. It's not glowing anymore so…
Dr. Jackson: Glowing thing really gives it away, so if it's not glowing anymore it shouldn't be on anymore.
Dr. Lee: [to Daniel] Do you want to hold it?
Dr. Jackson: Nope. [moves away]
Burke: (laughs) That's crazy!

TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Alone on Prometheus, Carter is hallucinating that the rest of SG-1 is with her.]
Maj. Carter: Were you this annoying when you were ascended?
Dr. Jackson: I dunno, depends on who you ask. I thought I had a certain je ne sais quoi. Timing was so-so.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Daniel Jackson: Hey! Have I told you my latest theory yet? It's really cool. Lose something?
Maj. Carter: Did you see a…
Daniel Jackson: Little girl?
Maj. Carter: Yeah.
Daniel Jackson: No.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Teal'c: You are like a brother to me, O'Neill.
Col. O'Neill: You're like, what, 140?
Teal'c: A younger brother, perhaps. But that is not my point.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: All right Carter, come on, on your feet let's go.
Maj. Carter: I was wondering when you were going to show up.
Col. O'Neill: You just gonna sit there?
Maj. Carter: Too tired sir.
Col. O'Neill: Samantha, I'm a figment of your imagination. You're gonna call me Sir?
Maj. Carter: Old habit. Sorry.
Col. O'Neill: So, you gonna save yourself or what?
Maj. Carter: I've tried.
Col. O'Neill: Just giving up then?
Maj. Carter: I just don't know what else to do right now.
Col. O'Neill: You'll think of something.
Maj. Carter: Came to give me a pep talk?
Col. O'Neill: That's what friends are for.
Maj. Carter: Friends...
Col. O'Neill: Hey. This is you talking here. Might as well be honest.
Maj. Carter: What if I quit the Air Force? Would that change anything or is it just an excuse?
Col. O'Neill: I would never ask you to give up your career.
Maj. Carter: Because you don't feel anything for me?
Col. O'Neill: Carter...
Maj. Carter: I'd let you go right now if I knew.
Col. O'Neill: That easy?
Maj. Carter: I didn't say it would be easy.
Col. O'Neill: Then what's stopping you if you really wanna know?
Maj. Carter: I'm trying.
Col. O'Neill: Maybe it's not me that's the problem here. Let's face it, I'm not that complex.
Maj. Carter: Me?
Col. O'Neill: Sam. I'm a safe bet.
Maj. Carter: As long as I'm thinking about you, setting my sights on what I think is unobtainable, there's no chance of being hurt by someone else.
Col. O'Neill: Jacob was right. You deserve more. I will always be there for you, no matter what. Believe me.
Maj. Carter: So w

TV Show: Stargate SG-1