NCIS Quotes
Tony: Did you see that?
Ziva: See what?
Tony: A wink.
Ziva: Director Vance winked?
Tony: I think he winked. Unless he was prepping his eye for the scanner, but --
Ziva: Why would it matter if he winked?
Tony: Because that's what he and Gibbs do. They have this whole wink-wink, nudge-nudge language. Vance can't green light an op. He expects us to pick up the slack when we see it.
Ziva: You see slack.
Tony: I don't know. Did you see a wink?
Ziva: See what?
Tony: A wink.
Ziva: Director Vance winked?
Tony: I think he winked. Unless he was prepping his eye for the scanner, but --
Ziva: Why would it matter if he winked?
Tony: Because that's what he and Gibbs do. They have this whole wink-wink, nudge-nudge language. Vance can't green light an op. He expects us to pick up the slack when we see it.
Ziva: You see slack.
Tony: I don't know. Did you see a wink?
TV Show: NCIS
Abby: You guys are going to Mexico! What's the plan?
Tony: What do you know, Abs?
Abby: Gibbs mentioned rule forty.
Tony: If you think someone's out to get you, they are?
Ziva: I have never heard of a rule in the forties.
Tony: They don't come up very often.
Abby: And that's a good thing.
Ziva: How many times have I told Gibbs to write these things down?!
Tony: You don't have to write them down, they're for daily use, most of the rules, but the forties --
Abby: The forties. The forties are for emergency use only.
Tony: If the forties are in play something unspeakably bad is going down.
Ziva: We have to get him back.
Tony: What do you know, Abs?
Abby: Gibbs mentioned rule forty.
Tony: If you think someone's out to get you, they are?
Ziva: I have never heard of a rule in the forties.
Tony: They don't come up very often.
Abby: And that's a good thing.
Ziva: How many times have I told Gibbs to write these things down?!
Tony: You don't have to write them down, they're for daily use, most of the rules, but the forties --
Abby: The forties. The forties are for emergency use only.
Tony: If the forties are in play something unspeakably bad is going down.
Ziva: We have to get him back.
TV Show: NCIS
Tony: That horse likes you!
McGee: This isn't funny, Tony.
Tony: Oh, poor McMounty. [affects Canadian accent] Hey, so have you seen any, like, moose and stuff up there? Hey, where's your buddy Claude. Isn't that your friendly St. Bernard with a little barrel of whiskey under his chin?!
McGee: I've been up here playing Dudley Do-Right for two weeks, all right? It's September and there's snow on the ground, could you at least give me a little compassion here?
Tony: And what would that be for? Did you forget to take off your toque when you entered a room? You're going to get in trouble up there, hanging with the bluenecks, throwing back a two-four of pale ale.
McGee: I've actually been working, unlike some people!
Gibbs: Certain people here are working.
McGee: Of course, boss.
McGee: This isn't funny, Tony.
Tony: Oh, poor McMounty. [affects Canadian accent] Hey, so have you seen any, like, moose and stuff up there? Hey, where's your buddy Claude. Isn't that your friendly St. Bernard with a little barrel of whiskey under his chin?!
McGee: I've been up here playing Dudley Do-Right for two weeks, all right? It's September and there's snow on the ground, could you at least give me a little compassion here?
Tony: And what would that be for? Did you forget to take off your toque when you entered a room? You're going to get in trouble up there, hanging with the bluenecks, throwing back a two-four of pale ale.
McGee: I've actually been working, unlike some people!
Gibbs: Certain people here are working.
McGee: Of course, boss.
TV Show: NCIS
Ziva: Hello, Tony. I'm back!
Tony: Well, hello, little miss Sunshine State, and don't you look balmy.
Ziva: I do not know what balmy means, but I would assume it is not good.
Tony: Just because I was alone, manning the fort, handling Gibbs solo, while you've been strolling around South Beach dancing to the rhythm of the night, why would I feel the need to say anything negative?
Ziva: Because you are you. Besides, I was working the entire time.
Tony: Ha!
Ziva: Ha what??
Tony: Are those tan lines?
Ziva: [coyly] Where do you think you're looking?
Tony: Does it matter?
Ziva: Well, actually, yes it does. And I can assure you, I do not have any tan lines.
Tony: Oh. So you did lay in the sun.
Ziva: Yes, I did, actually, this morning before my flight. And I came up with something case related prior to my departure.
Tony: [closes in eyes and inhales as Ziva stands next to his desk] You smell like ocean and shea butter.
Tony: Well, hello, little miss Sunshine State, and don't you look balmy.
Ziva: I do not know what balmy means, but I would assume it is not good.
Tony: Just because I was alone, manning the fort, handling Gibbs solo, while you've been strolling around South Beach dancing to the rhythm of the night, why would I feel the need to say anything negative?
Ziva: Because you are you. Besides, I was working the entire time.
Tony: Ha!
Ziva: Ha what??
Tony: Are those tan lines?
Ziva: [coyly] Where do you think you're looking?
Tony: Does it matter?
Ziva: Well, actually, yes it does. And I can assure you, I do not have any tan lines.
Tony: Oh. So you did lay in the sun.
Ziva: Yes, I did, actually, this morning before my flight. And I came up with something case related prior to my departure.
Tony: [closes in eyes and inhales as Ziva stands next to his desk] You smell like ocean and shea butter.
TV Show: NCIS
McGee: [exiting the elevator] Ah, I missed these stained orange walls. God bless tacky American bureaucracy.
Tony: The prodigal probie returns.
McGee: You know, I realized something, Tony. You don't appreciate something until it's gone.
Tony: So you missed me, ay?
McGee: No, other things, like breakfast without beer.
Ziva: I thought that was the Irish.
Tony: Canadians, too.
McGee: You know, beer doesn't go well with either eggs or oatmeal. [looks at Ziva] Why are you so tan?
Ziva: Why are you so white?
McGee: I've always been like this.
Ziva: It becomes you.
McGee: You're lying.
Ziva: Through my teeth.
Tony: The prodigal probie returns.
McGee: You know, I realized something, Tony. You don't appreciate something until it's gone.
Tony: So you missed me, ay?
McGee: No, other things, like breakfast without beer.
Ziva: I thought that was the Irish.
Tony: Canadians, too.
McGee: You know, beer doesn't go well with either eggs or oatmeal. [looks at Ziva] Why are you so tan?
Ziva: Why are you so white?
McGee: I've always been like this.
Ziva: It becomes you.
McGee: You're lying.
Ziva: Through my teeth.
TV Show: NCIS
Ducky: Did I ever tell you about the first case that Jethro and I worked? Two sailors capsized a recreational skiff one summer's eve; panic ensued. When they were finally located, one sailor was dead and the other severely hypothermic.
Abby: So the one sailor drowned?
Ducky: No. Rather than watch his friend slowly expire, one sailor stabbed the other, claiming that it was more humane. He was convinced that his actions were justified.
Abby: Like Gibbs twenty years ago. [Ducky nods] Ducky, what if this doesn't work? What's going to happen with Gibbs?
Ducky: In 1940 Winston Churchill sat in his bunker smoking one of those majestic cigars, waiting for news that the first German bombs were decimating London. "Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duty," he said over the radio, "and so bear ourselves that, if the British Empire and its Commonwealth lasts for a thousand years, men will still say, 'This was their finest hour.'" The hour is upon us, Abby. All we can do is wait and see.
Abby: So the one sailor drowned?
Ducky: No. Rather than watch his friend slowly expire, one sailor stabbed the other, claiming that it was more humane. He was convinced that his actions were justified.
Abby: Like Gibbs twenty years ago. [Ducky nods] Ducky, what if this doesn't work? What's going to happen with Gibbs?
Ducky: In 1940 Winston Churchill sat in his bunker smoking one of those majestic cigars, waiting for news that the first German bombs were decimating London. "Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duty," he said over the radio, "and so bear ourselves that, if the British Empire and its Commonwealth lasts for a thousand years, men will still say, 'This was their finest hour.'" The hour is upon us, Abby. All we can do is wait and see.
TV Show: NCIS
McGee: [speaking to three recruits while standing at his desk] Now, this is where the brain trust of the entire unit sits. Come on in. Come on in. Please, have a seat. You notice how I've angled my desk here to get a good vantage point of the entire team here. It's very important as an NCIS agent to stay aware.
Tony: [watching from his desk] What's going on here? Are we being replaced by younger models?
Ziva: I am a younger model.
Tony: If that was intended to hurt me, you have succeeded.
Ziva: And we are not being replaced. They are from Waverly University.
Tony: Oh, yeah, that's right. Director Vance's internship program. It's not a good idea. It feeds McGee's need to have groupies. [Ziva smiles]
Tony: [watching from his desk] What's going on here? Are we being replaced by younger models?
Ziva: I am a younger model.
Tony: If that was intended to hurt me, you have succeeded.
Ziva: And we are not being replaced. They are from Waverly University.
Tony: Oh, yeah, that's right. Director Vance's internship program. It's not a good idea. It feeds McGee's need to have groupies. [Ziva smiles]
TV Show: NCIS
Abby: Also, you are not to touch my computer, my lab equipment, my mp3 player, my Caf-Pow, my desk or Burt my farting hippo without my express written consent.
Michael Seelus: Well, how am I going to do anything then?
Abby: And there's no cameras or flash photography.
Seelus: I don't have a camera.
Abby: And if accidentally turn my back to you, you are to immediately move back into my eyeline.
Seelus: Why don't I just wear bells?
Abby: That's a really good idea! [moves across the lab and retrieves a set of bells from a drawer] I mean, I'm sorry about this. Darren worked out, but I've just had problems with people that have been assigned to my lab. [holds out the bells]
Seelus: I'm not putting those on.
Abby: Oh, actually you are!
Seelus: No, I'm not?
Abby: [cheerfully] Except for the fact that you are.
Gibbs: [walks in] Abs, I need something fast.
Abby: [to Seelus] To be continued. [to Gibbs] Who are you and what you done with my Gibbs who doesn't like interns?
Michael Seelus: Well, how am I going to do anything then?
Abby: And there's no cameras or flash photography.
Seelus: I don't have a camera.
Abby: And if accidentally turn my back to you, you are to immediately move back into my eyeline.
Seelus: Why don't I just wear bells?
Abby: That's a really good idea! [moves across the lab and retrieves a set of bells from a drawer] I mean, I'm sorry about this. Darren worked out, but I've just had problems with people that have been assigned to my lab. [holds out the bells]
Seelus: I'm not putting those on.
Abby: Oh, actually you are!
Seelus: No, I'm not?
Abby: [cheerfully] Except for the fact that you are.
Gibbs: [walks in] Abs, I need something fast.
Abby: [to Seelus] To be continued. [to Gibbs] Who are you and what you done with my Gibbs who doesn't like interns?
TV Show: NCIS
McGee: Ziva, what's going on?
Ziva: Tony has been selected to be on the cover of the new NCIS recruiting brochure.
McGee: Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
Tony: Hey, check it out. Who's the new face of NCIS? You're looking at it, McEnvy. Get used to it.
McGee: There will be no living with him now.
Ziva: Now??
Ziva: Tony has been selected to be on the cover of the new NCIS recruiting brochure.
McGee: Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
Tony: Hey, check it out. Who's the new face of NCIS? You're looking at it, McEnvy. Get used to it.
McGee: There will be no living with him now.
Ziva: Now??
TV Show: NCIS
Gibbs: You were supposed to be here an hour ago.
Fornell: My daughter had a performance at school, I told you. Be nice to me. I'v just spent two hours with our ex-wife.
Gibbs: Yeah! She mention my name?
Fornell: Not for years.
Gibbs: Heh, you shaved your beard!
Fornell: That's very observant.
Gibbs: What is that?
Fornell: It’s rice.
Gibbs: I thought you were picking up cheeseburgers.
Fornell: It’s lamb curry from the Punjab Express.
Gibbs: We both agreed we hate that place.
Fornell: We did, but I got a twofer coupon in the mail.
Fornell: My daughter had a performance at school, I told you. Be nice to me. I'v just spent two hours with our ex-wife.
Gibbs: Yeah! She mention my name?
Fornell: Not for years.
Gibbs: Heh, you shaved your beard!
Fornell: That's very observant.
Gibbs: What is that?
Fornell: It’s rice.
Gibbs: I thought you were picking up cheeseburgers.
Fornell: It’s lamb curry from the Punjab Express.
Gibbs: We both agreed we hate that place.
Fornell: We did, but I got a twofer coupon in the mail.
TV Show: NCIS
Ziva: Apologize.
Tony: For what?
Ziva: For being you.
Tony: Sweetheart, if I had a dollar for every time I'd done that, I'd be loaded.
Tony: For what?
Ziva: For being you.
Tony: Sweetheart, if I had a dollar for every time I'd done that, I'd be loaded.
TV Show: NCIS
Ziva: What?
Tony: I'm just watching the pheromones ooze from your body.
Ziva: I do not see anything.
Tony: That's because they're invisible. It's just a musky scent given off to attract the opposite sex.
Ziva: Now you're being ridiculous.
Tony: Oh, no. It's true. Think about it: first you had your little Miami vice, now Prince Albert in a can. Oh, they can't help it. You're just a walking Israeli love machine.
Ziva: [speaking of the British liaison officer to the U.S. Navy] He is charming.
Tony: What is it with chicks and Brits? Jagger, Bono, Beatles, Bond.
Ziva: I am not into bondage, I can assure you.
Tony: I'm just watching the pheromones ooze from your body.
Ziva: I do not see anything.
Tony: That's because they're invisible. It's just a musky scent given off to attract the opposite sex.
Ziva: Now you're being ridiculous.
Tony: Oh, no. It's true. Think about it: first you had your little Miami vice, now Prince Albert in a can. Oh, they can't help it. You're just a walking Israeli love machine.
Ziva: [speaking of the British liaison officer to the U.S. Navy] He is charming.
Tony: What is it with chicks and Brits? Jagger, Bono, Beatles, Bond.
Ziva: I am not into bondage, I can assure you.
TV Show: NCIS
Tony: It's like looking for a needle in a haystack!
Ziva: Why would anyone leave a needle in a stack of hay anyway?
Tony: Oh, Lord.
Ziva: Why would anyone leave a needle in a stack of hay anyway?
Tony: Oh, Lord.
TV Show: NCIS
Ziva: Tony, have you been drinking?
Tony: No. [sniffs breath] Why?
Ziva: I could have sworn I just heard you thank McGee.
Tony: I appreciate his insight.
Ziva: [skeptically] On what?
Tony: Baseball.
McGee: Specifically the implementation of instant replay in baseball. If we have the technology, why not use it?
Ziva: I do not know what is more disturbing: the fact that you both agree on something or that McGee is a fan of a sport.
Tony: No. [sniffs breath] Why?
Ziva: I could have sworn I just heard you thank McGee.
Tony: I appreciate his insight.
Ziva: [skeptically] On what?
Tony: Baseball.
McGee: Specifically the implementation of instant replay in baseball. If we have the technology, why not use it?
Ziva: I do not know what is more disturbing: the fact that you both agree on something or that McGee is a fan of a sport.
TV Show: NCIS
Abby: [jumps when Gibbs touches her shoulder] Gibbs! Are you trying to give me heart palpitations?
Gibbs: No. What do you got, Abs?
Abby: Heart palpitations.
Gibbs: No. What do you got, Abs?
Abby: Heart palpitations.
TV Show: NCIS
Tony: [Talking about Ziva] She’s not doing a very good job. The body language is all wrong. Classic Ziva would’ve been more reckless, hair would’ve been more wild. She was very sexual then.
McGee: You think Ziva’s less sexual now?
Tony: Compared to the Ziva I shared a bed with five years ago, yeah.
McGee: You guys were undercover. I mean, you were just putting on a show.
Tony: [Doesn’t say anything, stares at Ziva]
McGee: You were putting on a show, right?
Tony: [Just looks at McGee and clears his throat]
McGee: You think Ziva’s less sexual now?
Tony: Compared to the Ziva I shared a bed with five years ago, yeah.
McGee: You guys were undercover. I mean, you were just putting on a show.
Tony: [Doesn’t say anything, stares at Ziva]
McGee: You were putting on a show, right?
Tony: [Just looks at McGee and clears his throat]
TV Show: NCIS
Ziva: Tony!! [jumps on Tony to cover him from a bomb blast]
Tony: This is nice. I miss the old Ziva.
Ziva: I can tell.
Tony: Don't flatter yourself. That's just my knee.
Tony: This is nice. I miss the old Ziva.
Ziva: I can tell.
Tony: Don't flatter yourself. That's just my knee.
TV Show: NCIS
Abby: We communicate in the same way. I could tell the first time I saw all of this. Everyone else saw chaos, and I saw patterns right away; there was order to the chaos. I want you to know that whatever it is that you're trying to tell me, I promise you, I promise I'll understand.
Ducky: Careful. Sometimes they talk back.
Ducky: Careful. Sometimes they talk back.
TV Show: NCIS
Ziva: Hey, guys? [Tony and McGee arrive to see Ziva looking into a dumpster] Someone is going to have to go though this -- this is disgusting.
Tony: Last time I checked, I was senior field agent.
McGee: It's too bad we don't have a probationary agent with us.
Tony and McGee: But we do!
Ziva: You're going to pull rank on me?! [watches as they turn and leave]
Tony: Last time I checked, I was senior field agent.
McGee: It's too bad we don't have a probationary agent with us.
Tony and McGee: But we do!
Ziva: You're going to pull rank on me?! [watches as they turn and leave]
TV Show: NCIS
Dinozzo Sr.: Is that Ziva?
Tony: [frustrated] Yeah.
Dinozzo Sr.: Junior, get my bag. Oh wow, Ziva, look at you! What do you say, sweetheart?
Ziva: Hi!
Tony: Watch the hands!
Dinozzo Sr.: I'm so happy to see you!
Tony: Let's go!
Tony: [frustrated] Yeah.
Dinozzo Sr.: Junior, get my bag. Oh wow, Ziva, look at you! What do you say, sweetheart?
Ziva: Hi!
Tony: Watch the hands!
Dinozzo Sr.: I'm so happy to see you!
Tony: Let's go!
TV Show: NCIS
Eli David: I was summoned. Vance's review of the international case-files, and his request for contributions from every NCIS director.
Gibbs: Not every director.
Eli David: No. Not Jenny Shepard. She was truly responsible for bringing our organizations together, and for bringing my daughter into your life, but I am not here for her.
Gibbs: For Ziva.
Eli David: Yes.
Gibbs: You're not here for Ziva. She has a name.
Eli David: I am aware. I gave it to her.
Gibbs: Not every director.
Eli David: No. Not Jenny Shepard. She was truly responsible for bringing our organizations together, and for bringing my daughter into your life, but I am not here for her.
Gibbs: For Ziva.
Eli David: Yes.
Gibbs: You're not here for Ziva. She has a name.
Eli David: I am aware. I gave it to her.
TV Show: NCIS
Vance: Eli's here already, isn't he?
Gibbs: You knew he'd come.
Vance: You dangle the right bait you can catch any game. The Palestinians are following the same logic.
Gibbs: Chasing Eli.
Vance: That was unexpected. We've got to find him first, then we need to get on Eli's protection detail. I know he's going to make it miserable for us.
Gibbs: Got McGee babysitting him at a safehouse. We're running drills to secure the hotel.
Vance: Good. How's our own David handling it?
Gibbs: Her father left her to die in a desert.
Vance: So it's a problem.
Gibbs: Would be for me. Won't be for Ziva.
Gibbs: You knew he'd come.
Vance: You dangle the right bait you can catch any game. The Palestinians are following the same logic.
Gibbs: Chasing Eli.
Vance: That was unexpected. We've got to find him first, then we need to get on Eli's protection detail. I know he's going to make it miserable for us.
Gibbs: Got McGee babysitting him at a safehouse. We're running drills to secure the hotel.
Vance: Good. How's our own David handling it?
Gibbs: Her father left her to die in a desert.
Vance: So it's a problem.
Gibbs: Would be for me. Won't be for Ziva.
TV Show: NCIS
McGee: The Palestinians last location is a thousand miles south of D.C. Now every minor and major airport between has their photos posted. I've got alerts at the train stations, bus stations, local L.E.O.s up and down the coast, as well as all hardware shipments, commercial or military. I have hung a net.
Ziva: I do not know who Annette is or why you are so proud of killing her.
McGee: No, what I mean is, when they make a move I'll know about it.
Ziva: I do not know who Annette is or why you are so proud of killing her.
McGee: No, what I mean is, when they make a move I'll know about it.
TV Show: NCIS
Abby: You should see your dad.
Ziva: How would that help the case?
Abby: It wouldn't. Have you even spoken to him?
Ziva: No.
Abby: Okay.
Ziva: What does it matter to you?
Abby: Do you think it's just by chance that he came back into your life? I mean, what about Gibbs and his father and Tony? It's just that there comes a point, you know, in your lifetime where they really come back into your life, because they matter to you, and because you matter to him. I mean, I suppose that it sounds complicated, but believe me, it's not nearly as complicated as knowing that they're never, ever going to come back again.
Ziva: How would that help the case?
Abby: It wouldn't. Have you even spoken to him?
Ziva: No.
Abby: Okay.
Ziva: What does it matter to you?
Abby: Do you think it's just by chance that he came back into your life? I mean, what about Gibbs and his father and Tony? It's just that there comes a point, you know, in your lifetime where they really come back into your life, because they matter to you, and because you matter to him. I mean, I suppose that it sounds complicated, but believe me, it's not nearly as complicated as knowing that they're never, ever going to come back again.
TV Show: NCIS
Liat: Director David has left us a message.
Tony: What's that?
Malachi: It is the Hebrew word bayet. It means house or home.
Tony: [sarcastically] Oh, so he's walking all the way home to Israel?
Liat: More likely the Israeli embassy.
Tony: House. Oh, well, you know there is a House of Pancakes down the street, and also a house of pies and a donut house --
Ziva: My father needs medical attention. We should split up, cover each possibility.
Liat: Okay. [she and Malachi leave]
Tony: Look, you're going to have to go on your own because Gibbs wants --
Ziva: Tony, do you know what a Golem is?
Tony: Creepy schizophrenic creature from Lord of the Rings?
Ziva: No, that's Gollum. A Golem is a supernatural being from Jewish folklore. It was created from mud to protect the Jews. The mystics sketched the name Emmet into his forehead. When the monster's task was completed the letter allef was scratched out, changing the word to met. Do you understand what I'm saying?
Tony: Yeah. Liat pulled a Golem. She erased a letter?
Ziva: Liat is an overachiever. She erased the entire word.
Tony: You're not going to the House of Pancakes, are you?
Tony: What's that?
Malachi: It is the Hebrew word bayet. It means house or home.
Tony: [sarcastically] Oh, so he's walking all the way home to Israel?
Liat: More likely the Israeli embassy.
Tony: House. Oh, well, you know there is a House of Pancakes down the street, and also a house of pies and a donut house --
Ziva: My father needs medical attention. We should split up, cover each possibility.
Liat: Okay. [she and Malachi leave]
Tony: Look, you're going to have to go on your own because Gibbs wants --
Ziva: Tony, do you know what a Golem is?
Tony: Creepy schizophrenic creature from Lord of the Rings?
Ziva: No, that's Gollum. A Golem is a supernatural being from Jewish folklore. It was created from mud to protect the Jews. The mystics sketched the name Emmet into his forehead. When the monster's task was completed the letter allef was scratched out, changing the word to met. Do you understand what I'm saying?
Tony: Yeah. Liat pulled a Golem. She erased a letter?
Ziva: Liat is an overachiever. She erased the entire word.
Tony: You're not going to the House of Pancakes, are you?
TV Show: NCIS
Abby: [referring to Eli David] He knew how to do it. He just confessed to knowing how to build the murder weapon. I mean, come on! How many people know how to build a homemade Claymore mine?
Malachi': In this room? [he, Liat and Ziva raise their hands]
Abby: Okay, fine. [raises her hand]
Malachi': In this room? [he, Liat and Ziva raise their hands]
Abby: Okay, fine. [raises her hand]
TV Show: NCIS
Gibbs: Rule number nine.
Vance: How did you get that by security?
Gibbs: Never go anywhere without a knife.
Vance: How did you get that by security?
Gibbs: Never go anywhere without a knife.
TV Show: NCIS