Mystery Science Theater 3000 Quotes
Tom Servo: Pose in the nude with the Frisky Kitten Revue, then watch the action from high atop Tokyo Tower, as the twisted world you create explodes in rivers of blood and endless pain! Order today! Offer limited! Not available in Utah, Puerto Rico, prices subject to whim, please wear rubber underwear, some parts may be made of chicken! Act now! Buy bonds! That's all! Mommy! M-Mommy! M-Mommy! M-M-M!
Joel: [administering oxygen] Okay, breathe, boy, breathe. That was a good one! Let's not do that again.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: Sam Elliot is Ted Turner in 'The Gregory Peck Story'.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: Say, what have you been doing since the movie, Glen?
Glen the amazing collosal man: Uh, you know, bit-parts. Mr. Clean, Green Giant... that kinda thing. Excuse me for a second. [picks up a cow and eats it]
Glen the amazing collosal man: You know, I really thought that part in Time Bandits was gonna kick it loose for me! I thought that was gonna make me! But, no... you know, I can't even get back in Vegas anymore! Vegas! Blackballed... can't get in...
Tom Servo: Well, you didn't exactly charm the pants off them last time you were in Las Vegas, Glen!
Glen the amazing collosal man: You think I'm a freak, don't you! [grab and rocks the sattelite]
Tom Servo: Uh-oh.
Crow T. Robot: Way to go Servo!
Joel: Oh, everyone hold on to something!
Glen the amazing collosal man: That's right, I'm a freak! I look like Peter Garrett, I dress like Maude, for God's sake! And I eat live-stock by the hand-fulls! I bet you just wanna run home and tell all your buddies about the half-naked circus freak, don't you sergeant! That's right, everybody take a big steamy look at the circus freak! Hahaha!
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: She went on the beach not expecting to be abducted by a mexican wrestler.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: So I guess a rocket is standard picnicking equipment in Japan, isn't it?
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: So long, non acquaintance who inexplicably gave us rides in your dune buggy.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: So the rest of the movie is just watching them all get shot one by one?
Crow: We may enjoy it.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: So what if your clone is a hard-drinking, hard-living clone?
Crow: We need your liver to keep your CLONE alive.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: So you wanna end your movie that way, huh? OK, get bent. We're outta here.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: So, a nine-iron knocks him cold, but a shotgun does nothing?
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: So, anyway... you can see how this all adds up to a movie.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: So, we're about a half-hour into the movie?
Joel: No, actually it's only about a minute.
Tom Servo: No.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: Suddenly the Twist and Crc
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: Thank you very much for showing up. I'd like to welcome you all to our MURDER... MYSTERY... DINNER PARTY!
Crow T. Robot: I did it!
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: The director's vision: Confusion racked with ambiguity.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: The Pony Express: When it absolutely HAS to be there in three or four months or so.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: The sad thing is, they're trying to tap dance. Hahahaha. Kill me.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: The sun is blotted out as Joe Don Baker approaches.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: 'The Ten Commandments" had a smaller cast than this!
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: They're not dead, they're just 'metaphysically challenged'.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000