Life on Mars Quotes
Gene Hunt: I think you've forgotten who you're talking to.
Sam Tyler: An overweight, over-the-hill, nicotine-stained, borderline-alcoholic homophobe with a superiority complex and an unhealthy obsession with male bonding?
Gene Hunt: You make that sound like a bad thing.
Sam Tyler: An overweight, over-the-hill, nicotine-stained, borderline-alcoholic homophobe with a superiority complex and an unhealthy obsession with male bonding?
Gene Hunt: You make that sound like a bad thing.
TV Show: Life on Mars
Vic Tyler: I've got a young lad named Sam.
Gene Hunt: I've got a pain in the arse called Sam!
Gene Hunt: I've got a pain in the arse called Sam!
TV Show: Life on Mars
Gene Hunt: [disgusted] Looks like they've been thinking up [porn movie] titles.. Listen to this: "On Her Majesty's Secret Cervix".
TV Show: Life on Mars
[Last lines of the first series]
Ray Carling: So, what do you want to do now, Guv?
Gene Hunt: [thinks for a moment] Pub!
Ray Carling: [smirks] Pub.
Chris Skelton: [grins] Pub.
Sam Tyler: [looks at the other three men in turn, slowly smiles] Pub.
[All get in car and drive off]
Ray Carling: So, what do you want to do now, Guv?
Gene Hunt: [thinks for a moment] Pub!
Ray Carling: [smirks] Pub.
Chris Skelton: [grins] Pub.
Sam Tyler: [looks at the other three men in turn, slowly smiles] Pub.
[All get in car and drive off]
TV Show: Life on Mars
[After Gene pummels and hurls a journalist aside]
Sam Tyler: Do you keep a journalist chained in your basement for random beatings, Guv?
Sam Tyler: Do you keep a journalist chained in your basement for random beatings, Guv?
TV Show: Life on Mars
[Regarding Gene Hunt]
Superintendent Harry Wolfe: You're a lucky man, Tyler. You've got the best here.
Sam Tyler: [Heavy sarcasm] I weep with happiness every morning, sir.
Superintendent Harry Wolfe: You're a lucky man, Tyler. You've got the best here.
Sam Tyler: [Heavy sarcasm] I weep with happiness every morning, sir.
TV Show: Life on Mars
Superintendent Harry Wolfe: I'm saying it to all divisions; city needs to feel safe, Gene. Point is, this is under the glare, so let's make it clean and let's make it count, yes?
Sam Tyler: Would that be... 'by the book', sir?
Superintendent Harry Wolfe: Yes, that's it - by the jolly old book.
Sam Tyler: [To Gene, smugly] Let's get this party started.
Sam Tyler: Would that be... 'by the book', sir?
Superintendent Harry Wolfe: Yes, that's it - by the jolly old book.
Sam Tyler: [To Gene, smugly] Let's get this party started.
TV Show: Life on Mars
[to Ray Carling whom he had demoted a few months ago]
Gene Hunt: Good work, Raymondo. I'm bumping you back up to DS... only this time make it stand for Detective Sergeant and not Dog Shit!
Gene Hunt: Good work, Raymondo. I'm bumping you back up to DS... only this time make it stand for Detective Sergeant and not Dog Shit!
TV Show: Life on Mars
Sam Tyler: We pull him in, we put the squeeze on him. Why is that so hard for you to agree to?
Gene Hunt: Because I am policing in the full glare of the public bloody eye, and the Chief Super is taking a personal interest and we also have no flipping evidence! And I can't believe I just said that!
Gene Hunt: Because I am policing in the full glare of the public bloody eye, and the Chief Super is taking a personal interest and we also have no flipping evidence! And I can't believe I just said that!
TV Show: Life on Mars
Chris Skelton: Boss? Bloody hell, you look like something out of the Addam's Family.
Sam Tyler: Up all night.
Chris Skelton: Oh aye. What was her name?
Sam Tyler: Migraine.
Chris Skelton: German bird?
Sam Tyler: Up all night.
Chris Skelton: Oh aye. What was her name?
Sam Tyler: Migraine.
Chris Skelton: German bird?
TV Show: Life on Mars
Gene Hunt: We need to nail this fast.
Sam Tyler: So, we preserve the scene. We dust for prints
Gene: [Interrupting] You've seen it out there, Sam. People are scared. Pull in someone from the "we don't like you" list. We put their prints on the hammer, charge 'em, whip it past the beak. There's loads of scum out there deserve another spell inside. It'll buy us more time.
Sam Tyler: Look Guv, you wanna wear the Sheriff's badge? Well it comes with responsibilities; thorough, and by-the-book!
Gene Hunt: Cobblers! The public don't care what we do, just that we get the job done!
Chris Skelton: Too right, you don't want a mirror at the dentist do you?
Sam Tyler: So, we preserve the scene. We dust for prints
Gene: [Interrupting] You've seen it out there, Sam. People are scared. Pull in someone from the "we don't like you" list. We put their prints on the hammer, charge 'em, whip it past the beak. There's loads of scum out there deserve another spell inside. It'll buy us more time.
Sam Tyler: Look Guv, you wanna wear the Sheriff's badge? Well it comes with responsibilities; thorough, and by-the-book!
Gene Hunt: Cobblers! The public don't care what we do, just that we get the job done!
Chris Skelton: Too right, you don't want a mirror at the dentist do you?
TV Show: Life on Mars
Sam Tyler: Okay, fingertip search. Off you go, lads. Like I showed you. In a line, slowly. In a line!
Ray Carling: [singing] Now, hands that do dishes can feel[Chris and two other policemen join in] soft as your face -
Policeman: Piss off!
Ray Carling, Chris Skelton and two other police officers: With mild green Fairy Liquid.
Ray Carling: [singing] Now, hands that do dishes can feel[Chris and two other policemen join in] soft as your face -
Policeman: Piss off!
Ray Carling, Chris Skelton and two other police officers: With mild green Fairy Liquid.
TV Show: Life on Mars
Gene Hunt: Tell 'em to bring a big-
Sam Tyler: (Correcting him) Bastard-big
Gene Hunt: -Bastard-big sedative.
Sam Tyler: (Correcting him) Bastard-big
Gene Hunt: -Bastard-big sedative.
TV Show: Life on Mars
Chris Skelton: I'd hate to end up in prison.
Sam Tyler: Not very likely, is it Chris?
Chris: What if I was wrongly accused of killing my wife like David Janssen in The Fugitive?
Sam: You mean Harrison Ford.
Chris: No I don't.
Sam Tyler: Not very likely, is it Chris?
Chris: What if I was wrongly accused of killing my wife like David Janssen in The Fugitive?
Sam: You mean Harrison Ford.
Chris: No I don't.
TV Show: Life on Mars
Chris: Dickie's famous for getting caught in Alicante.
Ray: Flagrante, Chris, in flagrante
Ray: Flagrante, Chris, in flagrante
TV Show: Life on Mars
DCI Gene Hunt: A villain farts in this city, our snouts should be able to name the arse responsible.
TV Show: Life on Mars
Gene Hunt: Chris, round up everyone you can get your hands on. Ray, wake up and get a van. Cartwright, stick some lipstick on. There's a blag on at Raxton Street Post Office in an hour. I want the lot of you in there and undercover! We're gonna catch these bastards with their fingers in the till!
TV Show: Life on Mars
Gene Hunt: [to Sam] You always do this to me - I run in certain and walk out confused!
TV Show: Life on Mars
Gene Hunt: [to Sam] Y'know, If I was as worried as you, I'd never fart for fear of shitting myself
TV Show: Life on Mars
[Before an undercover sting operation, Annie is equipped with a gun]
Annie Cartwright: I haven't received any firearms training. That's not right...
Gene Hunt: [Exasperated] Y'see, this is why birds and CID don't mix. Give a bloke a gun, it's a dream come true. Give a girl one, and she moans it doesn't go with her dress! Now start behaving like a detective and show some balls.
Annie Cartwright: Thanks for being so sympathetic, sir. Let's hope you don't end up in my firing line. [Annie storms out]
Gene Hunt: [Slightly alarmed] Did she just threaten to shoot me?!
Superintendent Harry Wolfe: Got a very bright future ahead of her, that lass.
Annie Cartwright: I haven't received any firearms training. That's not right...
Gene Hunt: [Exasperated] Y'see, this is why birds and CID don't mix. Give a bloke a gun, it's a dream come true. Give a girl one, and she moans it doesn't go with her dress! Now start behaving like a detective and show some balls.
Annie Cartwright: Thanks for being so sympathetic, sir. Let's hope you don't end up in my firing line. [Annie storms out]
Gene Hunt: [Slightly alarmed] Did she just threaten to shoot me?!
Superintendent Harry Wolfe: Got a very bright future ahead of her, that lass.
TV Show: Life on Mars
[Gene has locked Sam in the boot of his car after Sam has investigated alleged corruption charges against Gene's mentor]
Gene Hunt: The rules go like this; you're my officer, you do as I say!
Sam Tyler: I was following my instincts...
Gene Hunt: Well, I should charge your instincts with wasting police time!
Gene Hunt: The rules go like this; you're my officer, you do as I say!
Sam Tyler: I was following my instincts...
Gene Hunt: Well, I should charge your instincts with wasting police time!
TV Show: Life on Mars
Glen Fletcher: Don't take this the wrong way, DI Tyler, but you're a mental case.
TV Show: Life on Mars
Gene Hunt: [gives Tyler a gun] Here, wave this around inside and try and look hard for once in your life!
Sam Tyler: Have you never heard of softly, softly?
Gene Hunt: Yes, but I prefer Z-Cars! [he and Sam storm into the building] Don't move! You're surrounded by armed bastards!
Sam Tyler: Have you never heard of softly, softly?
Gene Hunt: Yes, but I prefer Z-Cars! [he and Sam storm into the building] Don't move! You're surrounded by armed bastards!
TV Show: Life on Mars
Sam Tyler: Look, you know when I said I wasn't wrong? Well, I was. But, I was right about this not being the IRA. I was right to follow my instincts. Just like you always say, "go with your gut feeling". Just taking your lead.
Gene Hunt: So I'm right?
Sam Tyler: We both are.
Gene Hunt: Right.
Sam Tyler: Right.
Gene Hunt: Just as long as I'm more right than you.
Gene Hunt: So I'm right?
Sam Tyler: We both are.
Gene Hunt: Right.
Sam Tyler: Right.
Gene Hunt: Just as long as I'm more right than you.
TV Show: Life on Mars
Gene Hunt: What is it you think I'm doing here, Tyler?
Sam Tyler: [Sarcastically under his breath] Building a Death Star?
Gene Hunt: What?
Sam Tyler: Nothing.
Sam Tyler: [Sarcastically under his breath] Building a Death Star?
Gene Hunt: What?
Sam Tyler: Nothing.
TV Show: Life on Mars
Gene Hunt: If you think I'm gonna let you walk away from this investigation, than you're in for an even bigger disappointment than when we found out the plonk Doris Bangs was a name and not a promise!
TV Show: Life on Mars
Chris Skelton: Woman in her twenties, dead.
Gene Hunt: Well I didn't think she was sunbathing, did I?!
Gene Hunt: Well I didn't think she was sunbathing, did I?!
TV Show: Life on Mars