Invader Zim Quotes
Greg: Thanks for calling the FBI, my name is Greg, how may I help you?
Dib: I have an emergency! There's a kid who's-
Greg: [laughing] Hey, wait. You're... Dib, right? Did you ever get that ninja ghost out of your toilet?
Dib: Yes, no thanks to you!
Dib: I have an emergency! There's a kid who's-
Greg: [laughing] Hey, wait. You're... Dib, right? Did you ever get that ninja ghost out of your toilet?
Dib: Yes, no thanks to you!
TV Show: Invader Zim
Zim: Hey, do you know who came by today?
GIR: Hm?
Zim: That ugly neighbor lady. She was wearing this horrible...
[An evil looking squid pokes his head into the kitchen. Zim looks and it quickly leaves]
Zim: Huh?
[The squid leaps onto Zim's head and thrashes him about]
Zim: Oh mighty dung! The giant flesh-eating demon squid has escaped!
GIR: Hm?
Zim: That ugly neighbor lady. She was wearing this horrible...
[An evil looking squid pokes his head into the kitchen. Zim looks and it quickly leaves]
Zim: Huh?
[The squid leaps onto Zim's head and thrashes him about]
Zim: Oh mighty dung! The giant flesh-eating demon squid has escaped!
TV Show: Invader Zim
Zim: Hey. These aren't bad. What's in 'em?
GIR: There's waffle in 'em!
Zim: [screaming] YOU'RE LYING!!!!!
GIR: There's waffle in 'em!
Zim: [screaming] YOU'RE LYING!!!!!
TV Show: Invader Zim
Zim: Gir, your waffles have sickened me! Fetch me the bucket!
Gir: *Squeals*
Dib: NOO!The plan...what was the plan*shakes computer*
Zim: *Makes retching sound as Dib looks sick*
Gir: *Squeals*
Dib: NOO!The plan...what was the plan*shakes computer*
Zim: *Makes retching sound as Dib looks sick*
TV Show: Invader Zim
Zim: The Dib- the Dib! I don't care how delicious he is, he's evil! They'll destroy the base! There's only one thing to do!
GIR: You gonna make biscuits? You gonna make biscuits? You gonna make biscuits? You gonna make biscuits?
Zim: No, GIR. Never. I never want you to mention biscuits ever again.
[GIR gets a shocked expression]
GIR: You gonna make biscuits? You gonna make biscuits? You gonna make biscuits? You gonna make biscuits?
Zim: No, GIR. Never. I never want you to mention biscuits ever again.
[GIR gets a shocked expression]
TV Show: Invader Zim
GIR: [running around the house and Zim's base] We're on TV! We're on TV! We're on TV!
TV Show: Invader Zim
Zim's Computer: There's someone at the door.
Zim: Oh, what is it? I have not the patience for- AAAAAH! Girl with cookies! Girl with cookies!
Zim: Oh, what is it? I have not the patience for- AAAAAH! Girl with cookies! Girl with cookies!
TV Show: Invader Zim
Giant Cookie Seller Girl: [to Dib] Hey! This is ham! You can't pay for cookies with ham!
Dib: Why was there ham in my pocket?
Dib: Why was there ham in my pocket?
TV Show: Invader Zim
Prof. Membrane: [on a video monitor] Kids, I'm glad we could have this dinnertime recording together. Now, Gaz, if you could just put that can of beans in the proton oven! Be sure to take them out of the can or the explosion will destroy all human life!
[Gaz puts the unopened can in the proton oven, but the power goes out]
Gaz: Dib!
Dib: Sorry, Gaz! Just doing a few adjustments on Tak's ship!
[The power comes back on. Gaz adds two more cans then starts the oven. The bottom blows off in a small explosion]
Gaz: That didn't wipe out all life as we know it?! You lied to me, Dad!
[Gaz puts the unopened can in the proton oven, but the power goes out]
Gaz: Dib!
Dib: Sorry, Gaz! Just doing a few adjustments on Tak's ship!
[The power comes back on. Gaz adds two more cans then starts the oven. The bottom blows off in a small explosion]
Gaz: That didn't wipe out all life as we know it?! You lied to me, Dad!
TV Show: Invader Zim
Coach. Walrus: I have shown you the horrors of war...the devastation of famine...pictures of my birth! But I don't think you comprehend what awaits you in adult life. To better prepare you for the inevitable character building horrors, we will now play bludgeon-ball! It's fun!
TV Show: Invader Zim
Randome kid: Whoa,check out his eyeball
Dib: The eyeball of and alien invader!
Zim: LIES!LIES!Have you not heard of pinkeye?!It is a normal human illness.
Zita: Yeah,Pinky got it really bad last week.
Dib: The eyeball of and alien invader!
Zim: LIES!LIES!Have you not heard of pinkeye?!It is a normal human illness.
Zita: Yeah,Pinky got it really bad last week.
TV Show: Invader Zim
Dib: [surprised] You...you believe me? Wait a minute, you were in an experiment where they hit you in the head with car doors right?
Dwicky: [looking at a picture of himself tied up in an alligator's mouth] Ha ha, almost, but no! I really do believe you!
Dwicky: [looking at a picture of himself tied up in an alligator's mouth] Ha ha, almost, but no! I really do believe you!
TV Show: Invader Zim
Teacher: Dwicky! Do you really believe in aliens?!
Dwicky: [laughs] Not anymore! All the child-like wonder was ripped from my heart the day my foot got stuck in an escalator and aliens didn't come rescue me! No, I'll just humor Dib until he tells me what the real problem is.
Teacher: [spazzes out] AGH! That's...psycho-technical talk!! [falls to the floor]
Dwicky: Indeed it is.
Dwicky: [laughs] Not anymore! All the child-like wonder was ripped from my heart the day my foot got stuck in an escalator and aliens didn't come rescue me! No, I'll just humor Dib until he tells me what the real problem is.
Teacher: [spazzes out] AGH! That's...psycho-technical talk!! [falls to the floor]
Dwicky: Indeed it is.
TV Show: Invader Zim
Administration Droid: Do not be alarmed. The student president has experienced a failure in spirit. A new election will be held immediately. Volunteers? Volunteer?
Zim: Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! Pick Zim! Zim is me! Zim is me! Zim shall rule! Pick Zim! Zim! Me! I am Zim!
Administration Droid: Zim. Analysis: moron. Suitable. Candidate 2 needed. Volunteers?
Dib: But Zim's criminally insane! That's not good!
Administration Droid: Dib. Analysis: annoying.
[The droid slams a muzzle around Dib's head]
Zim: Egggh,lies
Zim: Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! Pick Zim! Zim is me! Zim is me! Zim shall rule! Pick Zim! Zim! Me! I am Zim!
Administration Droid: Zim. Analysis: moron. Suitable. Candidate 2 needed. Volunteers?
Dib: But Zim's criminally insane! That's not good!
Administration Droid: Dib. Analysis: annoying.
[The droid slams a muzzle around Dib's head]
Zim: Egggh,lies
TV Show: Invader Zim
Ms. Bitters: The candidates will now speak. And then be quiet! And then I go away from you all.
Zim: As president, I will assure that all mankind has its legs sawed off!
(silence)
Zim: [nervously] And, uh, replaced with legs of pure gold!
[The students smile approvingly]
Zim: Yes! And I will grant you the power to fire lasers from your heads!
The Letter M: I like gold!
Morla: I like my head!
Zim: As president, I will assure that all mankind has its legs sawed off!
(silence)
Zim: [nervously] And, uh, replaced with legs of pure gold!
[The students smile approvingly]
Zim: Yes! And I will grant you the power to fire lasers from your heads!
The Letter M: I like gold!
Morla: I like my head!
TV Show: Invader Zim
Zim: Vote for Zim or I'll destroy you! Vote for Zim or I'll destroy you!
Dib: Ms. Bitters! Zim is threatening the voters! He's disqualified, right?
Ms. Bitters: [to an administration droid] The child shrieks like a fruit bat.
[The droid slams another muzzle around Dib's head]
Dib: Ms. Bitters! Zim is threatening the voters! He's disqualified, right?
Ms. Bitters: [to an administration droid] The child shrieks like a fruit bat.
[The droid slams another muzzle around Dib's head]
TV Show: Invader Zim
Zim: If I am elected, Dib's head will be removed and filled with salted nuts!
[GIR flies over the crowd]
GIR: Salted nuts!
[GIR flies over the crowd]
GIR: Salted nuts!
TV Show: Invader Zim
[Dib casts a spell on Gaz without knowing what it does. The spell wakes Gaz up]
Gaz: If there's one thing you should know by now, it's to stay out of my room!
Dib: Do you feel different anyway?
Gaz: Get out!
Dib: X-ray vision, maybe? Super-smell?
Gaz: That's it, Dib! Security!
[Gaz's stuffed animals transform into robots with weapons. They advance on Dib who runs away screaming]
Gaz: If there's one thing you should know by now, it's to stay out of my room!
Dib: Do you feel different anyway?
Gaz: Get out!
Dib: X-ray vision, maybe? Super-smell?
Gaz: That's it, Dib! Security!
[Gaz's stuffed animals transform into robots with weapons. They advance on Dib who runs away screaming]
TV Show: Invader Zim
Zim: [after laughing for some while] That's a good one! "Help you"! Why should I help you?!
Dib: Hey! I helped you when we were transforming into giant bolognes!
Zim: YOU'RE MAKING IT UP!!!!!
Dib: Hey! I helped you when we were transforming into giant bolognes!
Zim: YOU'RE MAKING IT UP!!!!!
TV Show: Invader Zim
[Gaz is in an isolation chamber after the spell Dib casts on her goes wrong. Dib is visiting her]
Gaz: I'll make you wish you had rabid weasels teleported into your skull instead of having a sister! I'll wait until you sleep and stuff all your paranormal junk into your big, giant paranormal head and chew on your eyeballs after I pluck them out...
(Dib runs screaming from the room)
Gaz: I'll make you wish you had rabid weasels teleported into your skull instead of having a sister! I'll wait until you sleep and stuff all your paranormal junk into your big, giant paranormal head and chew on your eyeballs after I pluck them out...
(Dib runs screaming from the room)
TV Show: Invader Zim
Zim: I sure like TV! And wearing pants!
Poonchy: He likes wearing pants, Dib! Aliens don't like wearing pants!
Poonchy: He likes wearing pants, Dib! Aliens don't like wearing pants!
TV Show: Invader Zim
Zim: Fool! My fellow hideous inferior human pig smellies are insulted by this constant slander!
TV Show: Invader Zim
[Zim collapse from exhaustion and lands face down in a bucket of water]
Sizz-Lorr: Break's over, Zim! Go man the register!
Zim: Whuh?
Sizz-Lorr: The register! Gashloog is taking his break! Now move it!!
[Gashloog takes off his apron and skips gleefully out the door]
Zim: Gashloog gets to take a break without exploding! Why not me?
Sizz-Lorr: Because I hired him! You're here as punishment for almost annihilating our civilization!
Zim: Am I the only one who is impressed by that?
Sizz-Lorr: Break's over, Zim! Go man the register!
Zim: Whuh?
Sizz-Lorr: The register! Gashloog is taking his break! Now move it!!
[Gashloog takes off his apron and skips gleefully out the door]
Zim: Gashloog gets to take a break without exploding! Why not me?
Sizz-Lorr: Because I hired him! You're here as punishment for almost annihilating our civilization!
Zim: Am I the only one who is impressed by that?
TV Show: Invader Zim
[GIR is talking to the Tallest via a video communicator]
GIR: ...and then my master flew to the moon on a rocket of flamin' cheese! I like cheese!
[Dib shoves GIR out of the way]
Dib: Can I ask you something? What are your species' main weaknesses? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?
Tallest Purple: Who's that large-headed kid?
Tallest Red: I don't know, but his head is large.
Dib: [clears throat] Excuse me, alien scum? Gimme your planet's coordinates!
GIR: ...and then my master flew to the moon on a rocket of flamin' cheese! I like cheese!
[Dib shoves GIR out of the way]
Dib: Can I ask you something? What are your species' main weaknesses? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?
Tallest Purple: Who's that large-headed kid?
Tallest Red: I don't know, but his head is large.
Dib: [clears throat] Excuse me, alien scum? Gimme your planet's coordinates!
TV Show: Invader Zim
Eric the Blob: Hey little Sizzly. You look sadder than me.
Zim: It's this job, I hate it! And I can't leave or the security system will make me explode.
Alien Kid: He gonna 'splode, momma!
Zim: That horrible child.
Zim: It's this job, I hate it! And I can't leave or the security system will make me explode.
Alien Kid: He gonna 'splode, momma!
Zim: That horrible child.
TV Show: Invader Zim
Zim: [to alien] But I need to get back to my mission! My precious MISSION! What about them, huh? Gimme some of those! [snatches alien's fries]
Zim: So, I say, "You want some of this?" And she says, she says, right back at me, she says-
Alien: Who are you, and why are you talking to me?
Zim: So, I say, "You want some of this?" And she says, she says, right back at me, she says-
Alien: Who are you, and why are you talking to me?
TV Show: Invader Zim