Invader Zim Quotes
GIR: Do we have to go right now? I wanna watch The Scary Monkey Show.
Zim: [darkly] That monkey...
Zim: [darkly] That monkey...
TV Show: Invader Zim
Zim: How could you not know?! I just upgraded your guidance system!
GIR: Oh. I left that at home.
Zim: You left what at home?
GIR: The guidy chippy thingy.
Zim: You! Why would you do that?!
GIR: To make room for the cupcake!
GIR: Oh. I left that at home.
Zim: You left what at home?
GIR: The guidy chippy thingy.
Zim: You! Why would you do that?!
GIR: To make room for the cupcake!
TV Show: Invader Zim
GIR: Are we gonna ride the sun home?
Zim: No, GIR, the earth sun sets in the west. Staring at it should give me our relative position. Now watch me amaze you. [Stares at the sun until his eyes burn and crust over] Wait a minute ... I'M BLIND!!!! [runs around screaming, with GIR giggling and chasing him] They've booby-trapped their sun somehow!!
Zim: No, GIR, the earth sun sets in the west. Staring at it should give me our relative position. Now watch me amaze you. [Stares at the sun until his eyes burn and crust over] Wait a minute ... I'M BLIND!!!! [runs around screaming, with GIR giggling and chasing him] They've booby-trapped their sun somehow!!
TV Show: Invader Zim
Zim: [to cab driver] You think I wont be ready, but you're wrong, presumptuous cab beast! I have prepared myself for this moment and it has payed off in full! You see, the Invaders learn from their mistakes, however rare they may be! Now human, take me to [thinks for a moment then points in a random direction] that way!, and quickly! In case you haven't noticed, I've been trying to go home!.
TV Show: Invader Zim
Zim: I'm looking for a friend. Would you be-
Dirge: I was born with webbed fish toes. Like some kind of...horrible fish boy. Wanna see?
Dirge: I was born with webbed fish toes. Like some kind of...horrible fish boy. Wanna see?
TV Show: Invader Zim
Zim: I want to congratulate you, Keef, on a job well done. You have been a most convincing friend, but now that the world seems satisfied with my knack for companionship, I don't think I'll be requiring your services any longer. Our mission together is done, [salutes briefly] good job soldier, be gone with you.
TV Show: Invader Zim
[The phone rings, Zim answers it]
Zim: Hello?
Keef: Hey ya buddy!
Zim: Keef? I told you, I do not require your-
Keef: I understand, Zim. I was just thinking that maybe we could-
[Phone beeps]
Zim: Hang on, I've got another call. [pushes button on the phone] Hello?
Keef: Hey ya buddy! You're gonna love the circus!
[Zim stares at the phone and rips it out of the wall]: P
Zim: Hello?
Keef: Hey ya buddy!
Zim: Keef? I told you, I do not require your-
Keef: I understand, Zim. I was just thinking that maybe we could-
[Phone beeps]
Zim: Hang on, I've got another call. [pushes button on the phone] Hello?
Keef: Hey ya buddy! You're gonna love the circus!
[Zim stares at the phone and rips it out of the wall]: P
TV Show: Invader Zim
Zim: What are you doing, GIR?
GIR: Nothing...
Zim: Nothing... or something?
GIR: Oh, I can't take it, you're too smart for me. Keef is planning a s'prise party for you after skool. He gonna bring all the kids because he loves you! [crying] That boy loves you so much! [stops crying] I'm makin' the cake!
Zim: He's bringing all the children to our secret lair? Do you realize what this means?
GIR: Yes! Wait a minute...no.
Zim: It means the mission is in jeopardy!
GIR: Aw man! [hums happily]
GIR: Nothing...
Zim: Nothing... or something?
GIR: Oh, I can't take it, you're too smart for me. Keef is planning a s'prise party for you after skool. He gonna bring all the kids because he loves you! [crying] That boy loves you so much! [stops crying] I'm makin' the cake!
Zim: He's bringing all the children to our secret lair? Do you realize what this means?
GIR: Yes! Wait a minute...no.
Zim: It means the mission is in jeopardy!
GIR: Aw man! [hums happily]
TV Show: Invader Zim
Zim: I'm not in your TV. I'm transmitting from…inside your body! Spooky, yes? At this very moment I'm inside a microscopic submersible somewhere in your disgusting belly attached to your arm control nerve!
Dib: Arm control nerve?
Zim: Yes. Arm control nerve.
Dib: In my...belly?
Zim: Yes.
Dib: Humans don't have arm control nerves!
Zim: Do not question me! I control your arms!
Dib: Arm control nerve?
Zim: Yes. Arm control nerve.
Dib: In my...belly?
Zim: Yes.
Dib: Humans don't have arm control nerves!
Zim: Do not question me! I control your arms!
TV Show: Invader Zim
Zim: Hahahahahaha..ARG! Idiotic human! I'll just go to your brain and delete the knowlege of where you hid the master disk! And, as an added bonus, I might as well make your entire brain..nn-not smart... no more.
Dib: AAAHHHAAOOH!
Dib: AAAHHHAAOOH!
TV Show: Invader Zim
Zim: Now let's see where you are keeping the location of the disk, Dib!
[Zim scans Dib's brain. A target appears on his console]
Zim: There!
[Zim fires a laser at the point indicated on the console]
Dib: He's in my head! Knowledge losing...brain...poop. I can't remember where the file is! Gaz, he did it! He made me forget!
Gaz: Quiet, Dib!
Zim: And now to unleash stupidity on your entire brain!
[Zim scans Dib's brain. A target appears on his console]
Zim: There!
[Zim fires a laser at the point indicated on the console]
Dib: He's in my head! Knowledge losing...brain...poop. I can't remember where the file is! Gaz, he did it! He made me forget!
Gaz: Quiet, Dib!
Zim: And now to unleash stupidity on your entire brain!
TV Show: Invader Zim
Zim: Hmmmmmmm...ahhhhhh. The stink of clean. Another win for the Irken army. Clean, lemony-fresh victory is mine!
TV Show: Invader Zim
GIR: I'm gonna roll around on the floor for a little bit, 'kay?
[GIR proceeds to roll around, spreading germs all over the spotless base]
Zim: GIR, what are you doing? Stop immediately! You're disgusting!
GIR: ...Awww, somebody needs a hug!
Zim: Nononono, no, GIR, no!! [attempts to spray GIR]
GIR: I'm gonna hug you!
[GIR proceeds to roll around, spreading germs all over the spotless base]
Zim: GIR, what are you doing? Stop immediately! You're disgusting!
GIR: ...Awww, somebody needs a hug!
Zim: Nononono, no, GIR, no!! [attempts to spray GIR]
GIR: I'm gonna hug you!
TV Show: Invader Zim
[Zim is talking with the Tallest via a large monitor]
Zim: Sirs! I apologize for not reporting in, but— excuse me.
[Zim sprays some germs offscreen]
Zim: ...all is going well, nothing too big to report, aside to the usual- oh, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT ONE!!
[Zim sprays again and empties it]
Zim: The disinfectant, it's almost gone! All hope is lost if I don't find more! Clever! I won't give up! I'll destroy you! And you! And you! And yoooouuu!
[Zim cuts the transmission]
Tallest Purple: Did that scare you too?
[Tallest Red nods]
Zim: Sirs! I apologize for not reporting in, but— excuse me.
[Zim sprays some germs offscreen]
Zim: ...all is going well, nothing too big to report, aside to the usual- oh, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT ONE!!
[Zim sprays again and empties it]
Zim: The disinfectant, it's almost gone! All hope is lost if I don't find more! Clever! I won't give up! I'll destroy you! And you! And you! And yoooouuu!
[Zim cuts the transmission]
Tallest Purple: Did that scare you too?
[Tallest Red nods]
TV Show: Invader Zim
Zim: [zooms in on single germ] HAH! [jumps over to germ and starts to spray vigorously with Germ Spray]
Germ: [starts to choke and gag on Germ Spray]
Zim: [continues to spray germ]
Germ: [in extremely high-pitched voice] WHYYYYYYY?! [falls over dead]
Zim: [sprays the germ again]
Germ: [starts to choke and gag on Germ Spray]
Zim: [continues to spray germ]
Germ: [in extremely high-pitched voice] WHYYYYYYY?! [falls over dead]
Zim: [sprays the germ again]
TV Show: Invader Zim
[A student is hit in the stomach by a dodgeball]
Zootch: Aah! M-My organs!
Zim: [laughs] Inferior human organs!
[Zim is hit in the stomach by a dodgeball]
Zim: Augh! My squeedly-spooch!
Dib: Squeedly-spooch? Did you hear that, Gaz? That's no human organ! Humans don't have squeedly-spooches!
Gaz: [sarcastically] I've got a squeedly-spooch.
Zootch: Aah! M-My organs!
Zim: [laughs] Inferior human organs!
[Zim is hit in the stomach by a dodgeball]
Zim: Augh! My squeedly-spooch!
Dib: Squeedly-spooch? Did you hear that, Gaz? That's no human organ! Humans don't have squeedly-spooches!
Gaz: [sarcastically] I've got a squeedly-spooch.
TV Show: Invader Zim
Ms. Bitters: Zim!
Zim: [saluting] Sir!
Ms. Bitters: There's a pigeon on your head. You've got head pigeons. Get to the nurse before they spread to the other children!
Zim: Yes, Ms. Bitters.
[Zim walks towards the door]
Ms. Bitters: No leaving class without a hall pass, Zim.
Zim: Of course...
[Zim walks to Ms. Bitters' desk. She puts a collar around his head. It shrinks around his neck]
Ms. Bitters: If you leave skool grounds, it will explode.
Zim: [saluting] Sir!
Ms. Bitters: There's a pigeon on your head. You've got head pigeons. Get to the nurse before they spread to the other children!
Zim: Yes, Ms. Bitters.
[Zim walks towards the door]
Ms. Bitters: No leaving class without a hall pass, Zim.
Zim: Of course...
[Zim walks to Ms. Bitters' desk. She puts a collar around his head. It shrinks around his neck]
Ms. Bitters: If you leave skool grounds, it will explode.
TV Show: Invader Zim
[Dib, obsessing over Zim, snaps a pencil in half. He sticks half up his nose]
Dib: Ms Bitters, I think a pencil is lodged in my brain. Can I go to the nurse?
Ms. Bitters: How far in your brain?
Dib: [looks down] Pretty far...
Ms. Bitters: All right. Take the auxiliary hall pass. [points to a radiator with 'Hall Pass' spray-painted on the side]
Dib: Ms Bitters, I think a pencil is lodged in my brain. Can I go to the nurse?
Ms. Bitters: How far in your brain?
Dib: [looks down] Pretty far...
Ms. Bitters: All right. Take the auxiliary hall pass. [points to a radiator with 'Hall Pass' spray-painted on the side]
TV Show: Invader Zim
Hall Monitor: Hey! Where's your hall pass?
Zim: Say...you're full of organs, aren't you?
Hall Monitor: Why yes. Yes I am.
Zim: And you wouldn't notice if you were, say, missing a few?
Hall Monitor: Probably not.
[Zim starts laughing evilly and Hall Monitor joins in]
Zim: Say...you're full of organs, aren't you?
Hall Monitor: Why yes. Yes I am.
Zim: And you wouldn't notice if you were, say, missing a few?
Hall Monitor: Probably not.
[Zim starts laughing evilly and Hall Monitor joins in]
TV Show: Invader Zim
Dib: That's it, Zim! This has to stop!
Zim: I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about.
Dib: Look at you! You've gone too far! You're a hideous blob of stolen organs!
Zim: I've been working out...
[Zim vomits an intestine then sucks it back into his mouth like spaghetti and smiles]
Dib: You think you can fool a trained medical professional?
Zim: Yes.
Zim: I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about.
Dib: Look at you! You've gone too far! You're a hideous blob of stolen organs!
Zim: I've been working out...
[Zim vomits an intestine then sucks it back into his mouth like spaghetti and smiles]
Dib: You think you can fool a trained medical professional?
Zim: Yes.
TV Show: Invader Zim
Dib: I suppose you've got a heart in there?
Zim: Six of them.
Dib: Intestines?
Zim: Large or small?
Dib: Spleen?
Zim: In three different colors.
Dib: What about lungs?
Zim: Six of them.
Dib: Intestines?
Zim: Large or small?
Dib: Spleen?
Zim: In three different colors.
Dib: What about lungs?
TV Show: Invader Zim
[Zim, piloting his Voot Cruiser, scares a police officer driving his car, causing him fall from a bridge onto a weenie restaurant]
Zim: Human law enforcing machine. Markings: Lighty flashy things on top. Defensive capability: minimal.
[The police car explodes]
Zim: Explodes on impact with giant weenie. Evaluation: Pathetic! Pathetic Earth vehicle!
Zim: Human law enforcing machine. Markings: Lighty flashy things on top. Defensive capability: minimal.
[The police car explodes]
Zim: Explodes on impact with giant weenie. Evaluation: Pathetic! Pathetic Earth vehicle!
TV Show: Invader Zim
Zim: Ruined. Ruined! Irken engineering reduced to...this! Surely that was no human bee! Once I take care of the humans, I will begin my war against...the bees!
TV Show: Invader Zim
Zim: Don't come any closer! Don't try anything on me or I'll...I'll...I'll lay eggs in your stomach! I mean it!
TV Show: Invader Zim