House Quotes

Cameron [to Chase]: You could have gotten killed.
Chase: He wasn't going to hurt me.
Cameron: He fired a gun in the hospital.
Chase: Come here.
[Chase hugs Cameron tight and looks fine. Cameron looks troubled.]
Cameron: Maybe next time don't yell out that warning.
[Chase's forehead wrinkles at that thought.]

TV Show: House
House [to Wilson]: You could be sipping Courvoisier next to a replica of the Playboy grotto if you tell him what you got on him.

TV Show: House
Wilson [to House]: It's easy to be nice to people you like. But being nice to people you hate, that's a skill. Do it.

TV Show: House
Chase [to Dibala]: If you touch my wife again, I'll kick your ass out into the street. I don't care who you are.

TV Show: House
Foreman [to Chase]: I went down to the morgue to rerun the antibodies test.
Chase: We ran it twice.
Foreman: Turns out I couldn't get in. They had an armed guard. But I saw this. [He holds out a sheet of paper.] It's a sign-in sheet from the morgue. Your signature. [Chase slowly takes the paper from Foreman.] 9: 45 this morning. That's right before you guys ran the test. What were you doing there?
Chase: Follow-up on a clinic case.
Foreman: What case?
Chase: You think this is really important...
Foreman: One of the patients in the morgue was a 70-year-old woman who had scleroderma. You and Cameron, if you took that woman's blood, you could have messed up the test results so we treated Dibala for the wrong disease.
Chase: Cameron had nothing to do with it.
Foreman: [loudly] You son of a bitch.
Chase: He was going to kill the Sitibi. Every last one of them.
Foreman: [shouting] I don't care what he was going to do. He came to us and put his life in our hands.
Chase: [standing and talking quietly] All the good we've done… Every life we've saved… It would have meant nothing… If we just sent him off to kill hundreds of thousands of people. Look at the news. The moderates are taking over. There's hope for peace talks. You tell the world that I faked this test, Dibala becomes a martyr. The massacres begin.
Foreman: I cover this up, I become your accomplice. You think you can guilt me into that?
Chase: If the cops are going to come for me, please warn me… So that I can tell my wife first.
[Foreman takes the sign-in sheet and Chase sits back down.]
Foreman: Chase… You really think you can kill another human being without any consequences to yourself?
Chase [his mouth moves for a moment without sound; shakes his head]: No.

TV Show: House
House: People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There`s nothing any of us can do about it.

TV Show: House
Foreman [about House]: When is he getting his license back so we can stop playing this game?
House [looks at the file] Maybe never. This game is fun.

TV Show: House
[Thirteen arrives at House's apartment; House answers the door]
Thirteen: Stay out of my life.
House: Okay. [goes to shut the door, but Thirteen stops him.]
Thirteen: I know you canceled my reservation. You obviously saw me log in when you were spying on me in the coffee shop.
House: I was talking to you. I was spying on the milf in the running shorts.

TV Show: House
Cuddy [to House]: Thirteen called.
House: She have a theory that makes more sense than abdominal epilepsy?
Cuddy: She said someone hacked into her email account and canceled an airline reservation. I'm guessing Foreman.
House: Really? You're accusing Foreman, not me? Cool.

TV Show: House
Cuddy: I need to know what your plans are.
House: First we take Berlin and then we circle around behind Poland and yell "surprise!".

TV Show: House
[Chase is sitting in a church confessional]
Chase: I killed a man. I need to know what I can do to be forgiven.
Minister: Ten Hail Marys aren't enough to absolve this.
Chase: I did the right thing. I couldn't let him take the lives of thousands.
Minister: But as a doctor, you know taking the life of a patient is wrong.
Chase: Can't I just ask God for forgiveness? That's why I'm here.
Minister: I told you what you need to do. You have to turn yourself in.
Chase: ...No. I... did... the right thing.

TV Show: House
House: [after having a "conversation" with his father] Wilson! This is stupid!
Wilson: [smiling] See? [talking to Amber] I told you he's getting better.

TV Show: House
Cuddy: This is the part where I play the employer and you play the employee.
House: I can see your nipples. Your turn.

TV Show: House
Wilson: I ran into Nora this morning. She told me about your Evita listening party.
House: The London and New York recordings are so different.
Wilson: You were supposed to tell her that we're straight.
House: She didn't believe me, either.

TV Show: House
Cuddy: I sent this to State Licensing Board. I've signed off on all your hours.
House: Why?
Cuddy: Because it's easier this way.
House: You're uncomfortable with me.
Cuddy: No. Going by the book is pointless. You're gonna learn nothing.
House: Good. I thought it was because of the sexual tension.
Cuddy: There was no sexual tension.
House: There was tension. And it made me feel funny, so...
Cuddy: Here. [hands him the letter]
House: It's too bad. I was kinda getting into the whole hot for teacher thing.
Cuddy: Are you sure you're okay?
House: Yeah. False alarm... what about us?
Cuddy: We're good, just like this. You press my buttons, I press yours.
House: By buttons you mean... [epiphany] huh... [on his way out] You do make me feel funny.

TV Show: House
Donny: How do I know you're not still lying to me? Saying I'm healthy just to make me feel better...
House: Does sound way, doesn't it? But this time, no sugar pills. I'm gonna cut into your brain to make you think I'm fixing it. And if our fake test confirms it, I'm gonna be cutting into your son's brain too because I'm just that committed.
Donny: Michael's gonna be okay?
House: Unless he walks out of here and gets run over by a bus, in which case I'll reconsider your fate argument. [rises to leave] Wanna give him a call? Visiting hours don't apply to my patients.
Donny: Yeah, in a bit.
House: Yeah, that's what I thought. This "saving the kid from pain" stuff is crap. You just don't want anything in your life that won't let you do whatever the hell you wanna do whenever the hell you wanna do it. You've had it easy. Sorry to screw you up.

TV Show: House
House: Really, I've got no idea what's wrong with her. So odds are… not fatal.

TV Show: House
Chase: You lit the fuse, you need to watch the bomb go off.

TV Show: House
House: [giving his diagnosis on the phone] Now Cameron… pick up the phone and give me a dramatic exit.

TV Show: House
Cuddy: Tell me what you came here for, House.
House: I've got a legitimate medical reason.
Cuddy: You must be so proud.
House: [Sees Cuddy's breasts in a low-cut top] I've forgotten it.
House: I guess it's no big deal since I was only using it as an excuse to come check out Patty and Selma.
Cuddy: I feel bad. I haven't named your testicles.
House: Word on the street is you set a new personal best for low-cut.
Cuddy: I don't know why you chose to give them names of somebody's aunts.
House: It's a compliment. They're always smoking.

TV Show: House
Wilson: Yes you can sit here running up my hotel bill or you can go get the woman of your dreams.
House: I didn't know Angela Merkel was attending the conference.

TV Show: House
House: This envelope is oddly medical-license-shaped.
Foreman[Chase and Cameron walk into House's office]: House is back in charge. We get to treat a porn star.

TV Show: House
House[to Taub]: The only obstacle to you coming back is your wife. And she's never been much of an obstacle to you.

TV Show: House
House: I was w… I was wrwrw…
Chase: What were you wrong about?

TV Show: House
House: Any idea where I can get a "Mission Accomplished" banner?

TV Show: House
House: I just need a good friend!

TV Show: House
House: (Chase is not participating in the diagnosis) Say somethimg or I'll get your ex-smarter half on the phone and ask her!
Chase: House.......... (gets up and punches House in the face)

TV Show: House
House: Put it on Dr.Wilson's tab.
Cashier: I don't know who Dr. Wilson is. And we don't have tabs.
House: Do you know who I am?
Cashier: No.
House: Good. [leaves]

TV Show: House
Foreman: TTP is a better fit.
Thirteen: He's right.
[Silence]
Thirteen: You thought I wouldn't agree with him? Ever?
House: You didn't agree with him. That's why he dumped you. — Oh… sorry. it was mutual.

TV Show: House
Chase: I've got it under control.
Foreman: That's what you said about the Dibala incident. And obviously you didn't.
Chase: And talking about it obviously made things so much better.

TV Show: House