Holby City Quotes

[Dr. Greene is suffering from the contamination, Donna enters the room.]
Greene: Thought you were on Kellar?
Donna: I am, but I’m on a break, so I’ve got nothing better to do.
Greene: Bit of drama? Are you drawn to it? Or is it a recce so you can go and report back to the other nurses?
Donna: What is it with you? I come here, I try and be friendly. I show a bit of concern...
Greene: Right, well, if you’re looking for sympathy you’ve come to the wrong place.
Donna: No, I was just looking out for you.

TV Show: Holby City
[About the patient who is being operated on needing more anaesthetic]
Joseph: He’s about to get up and leave!

TV Show: Holby City
[Jac gives Joseph, who is semi-conscious, an injection.]
Joseph[sarcastically]: You gonna put me down?

TV Show: Holby City
Jac: So do you remember Madame Butterfly?
Joseph: If my entire life is going to flash before my eyes, it’s just the edited highlight.
Jac: I hated it. You know that, opera. I really hated it.
Joseph: You should have just said.
Jac: Well, uncharacteristically, I didn't want to hurt your feelings. We hadn’t been together very long.

TV Show: Holby City
[Faye and Joseph are discussing their choice of flowers for their forthcoming wedding.]
Faye: Joseph, I was thinking. White roses with some gypsophilia.
Jac: [butts in with a sigh] Clearly there's something in the air.
Faye: No need to be such a cynic.
Jac: What the world needs now is love sweet love. [Jac reads from a leaflet about choosing wedding flowers] You know, I just don't know if white roses are appropriate, Faye. It says here that they symbolise innocence and purity - that might be a little misleading. Oh wait, no, I missed a bit. It says they also symbolise silence and secrecy, so...

TV Show: Holby City
[talking about Faye's and Joseph's wedding]
Jac: I'd rather be up to my neck in sewage than be at that wedding.

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[Discussing Elliot's 50th birthday]
Connie: Really, at your age, the fewer people that know the better.

TV Show: Holby City
Elliot: I've been thinking...
Connie: Oh don't do that. It might trigger a midlife crisis. And let's face it, you should have done that at 40.

TV Show: Holby City
[Connie and Keith Greene are rivals for the Director of Surgery post. Connie has just given a presentation to the Board in which she has tried to take ownership of a new procedure that Elliot and Tara are developing.]
Greene: I don't think I've congratulated you on your most inspired pitch to the Board.
Connie: Well I'm glad you could catch it.
Greene: Of course my strategy is based on showing individual Board members who I really am - the man behind the surgical mask. In fact my brother-in-law was a friend of the Vice Chairman. He plays golf and he's setting up a game for us.
Connie: Ah, so that's what they mean by your bunker mentality.
Greene: [laughs] Say what you like, Connie. At least I'm not prepared to tread on my colleagues to get to the top. And Mr Hope. Oh dear! Of all people. That's like smacking a puppy on the head with a croquet mallet.
Connie: Go to hell, Keith.
Greene: [gleefully] Oh yes. You are starting to feel the heat.

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Michael: I did not know you were into food, Miss Naylor.
Jac: You assumed I ran on batteries?

TV Show: Holby City
Michael wants Connie to come back and work at Holby City, but she won't consider it while Vanessa Lytton still works there.]
Connie: I want her on her bloody hands and knees for what she did to me... I want her head on a platter!

TV Show: Holby City
[Sacha Levy has just finished a very public phone call to his mother while on duty on the ward. He is now staring at a patient's feet sticking out of her bedsheets.]
Jac: It's a foot! I think you'll find her hernia and bowel operation a little further up.
Sacha: You've been to medical school, haven't you? You kept that quiet.
Jac: Why don't you carry on trying to work out one end of your patient from the other and I'll deal with the rest of the ward.
Sacha: Oh, thanks. [He looks at the patient's foot.] I'd say that was swollen.
Jac: I'd say it needs a good wash.
Sacha: Would you say that was swollen?
Nicky Van Barr: Maybe. Any blood in the sputum?
Sacha: No.
Jac: It's customary here for the doctors to do the diagnosing. Although I'm sure you've already asked for your mother's opinion.

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Jac: How long is Doctor Doughnut going to be with us?
Ric: Sacha? You got a problem with his work?
Jac: Yes - he doesn't seem to want to do any!

TV Show: Holby City
[Sacha is wiping a patient's vomit off his tie]
Jac: [sarcastically] Oh, nice tie. It's an improvement - it matches.
Sacha: Oh, thank you. Shop said it was called a Naylor - comes with or without bile.

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[Sacha is checking on a patient]
Peggy Seymour: Thief! Thief! Help! Call the police!
Jac : [walking past] Probably the reaction most women would have if they found you in their bedroom.

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[Donna has just returned to work and learned that Jac is about to donate a kidney to her mother.]
Donna: I don't know what's more shocking: the kidney or the fact that Jac was actually born, not just carved out of an iceberg.

TV Show: Holby City
Connie: It's never going to happen, is it? Mark Williams as CEO. What was he thinking?
Elliot: Well I imagine he's...
Connie: As consultant nurse you can't fault him. But you know what he's done: he's gone looking for his libido and found his ego instead. I don't know why he doesn't do what most middle-aged men do.
Elliot: Oh, he's tried that. Bought a motorbike.
Connie: No, no. I meant, go with a younger woman.
Elliot: He's tried that too.

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Joseph: still spreading peace and love wherever you go I see.
Jac: Was I talking to you?

TV Show: Holby City
Jac: I bet you think it's really funny making me out to be an imbecile in front of Jayne Grayson.
Donna: Oh I think you did that all by yourself.
Jac: You set me up.
Donna: Yeah? Well what about the mysterious disappearing CT scan, not to mention the dead battery in Mike's bleeper.
Jac: Oh so it's Mike now.
Donna: Yeah, he's a mate of mine. Do you know what they are?
Jac: Very disappointed in you Donna(turns around and starts to walk off)
Joseph: Ah Miss Naylor, and how was your day?
Jac: Get stuffed.

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Medical student: Grovel
Jac: It's not in my nature
Medical student: It's good for the soul
Jac: I don't have one

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Connie: You can either have me—Doctor Death—or no-one.

TV Show: Holby City
Zubin: For the first time ever, the NHS has more managers than beds. Did you know that?
Helen Grant: Your point?
Zubin: I've got a rather revolutionary idea. You can take it to your next Trust meeting if you like. Get the managers down on all-fours, throw blankets over them - and hey presto!
Ric: To Helen Grant. People management. Not really your forté, is it?

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Mark: The drinks are on me.
Chrissie: Who do you think you are? The Milky Bar Kid?

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Connie: Do you get altitude sickness?
Will: What?
Connie: From your moral high ground.

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Rosie: I'm 40. There's something I'm missing. Oh, yeah, a baby. Pass me the yellow pages.

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[Carrying out an operation that Connie has specifically ordered them not to carry out.]
Will: We need to get through this as quickly as possible - every minute on the table is putting an extra strain on her heart.
Mubbs: It's not something I can rush. If I deliver too much fluid or too quickly it may cause the placenta to detach.
Will: It's Connie detaching my testicles that I'm concerned about.

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Zubin: Mrs Beauchamp, I have to admit that you have the leadership skills of an eight-year-old with a Kalashnikov.

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Lola: As my grandma used to say, "If you look for a peck of trouble, don't gripe when you find a bushel."
Ric: [sarcastically] As ever, your grandma's wisdom astounds me.

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Lola: As Grandma used to say, "All mouth and no trousers makes Jack a dull boy".
Ric: Is it possible your grandma was a little confused?

TV Show: Holby City
[Reading patients' comment cards in the family-planning clinic.]
Mickie: [smirking] We've got some really good comments.
Donna: "I never knew you could get free condoms here. Now I won't have to re-use my old ones." How gross is that?

TV Show: Holby City