Hell's Kitchen (U.S.) Quotes

Narrator: ...But the diners aren't the only ones in need of rescue.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: Oh, no. Oh, no, come on. Stop. Stop. Stop! Stand back! Stand back! Stand BACK!! [removes the meat from the pan] There's cooking, in this fucking bonfire-- STAND BACK!! Same shit, different day. [throws the pan in the sink, where the fire blows up, then dies.] This is fucking embarrassing!!
Rosann: (interview) My mind is racing, my heart is pounding...
Gordon: That's not a fucking saute pan, that's a FURNACE!!! LOOK AT THE MEAT!!!
Rosann: (interview) I blew four pieces of meat on there. It was just really horrible for me. I'm hopin' I'm never gonna have that happen again.
Gordon: IT'S SCORCHED!!! Cooking, my ass!!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Narrator: As the Red team, once again, starts over on their entrees, Jason starts preparing his first desserts.
Jason: Is this the right way to do it? I hope it is.
Jason: (interview) I don't have a clue on this earth what I'm doing. I hate desserts! They're tedious! Women can make desserts, y'know? It ain't my thing.
Jason: [to Louross] ...5 minutes for the creme brulee, so I have two of those in.
Louross: Your creme brulee's done already!
Jason: No, it's not. That's not cooked.
Louross: That's cooked!
Jason: Oh, Jesus Christ.
Jason: (interview) The souffles looked like muffins in a cup! I don't know what was wrong, 'cause I don't know desserts, but I know they would not come up for nothing!
Gordon: Jason!
Jason: Yes?
Gordon: What's happening with the desserts?
Jason: The souffles are not coming out at all; they're sticking!
Gordon: Come here a minute.
Jason: Okay. (goes over to Gordon) I cannot get them to come up, they're sticking really bad, they look like shit, they look like muffins.
Gordon: (in a fast tone) So, are we gonna take it off the menu, are we gonna do something constructive, are we gonna do anything about it...
Jason: I'm, I'm trying something new. I'm gonna take some sugar and rub it around the rim, and try to get that... and... that's what I'm trying to do right now.
Gordon: You're gonna get some sugar and rub it around the rim?
Jason: Sugar- no, no--sugar, butter, and the cocoa powder, and see if that keeps them from sticking. (Gordon walks over to the hotplate and starts banging his head on the counter.)

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
[After another disasterous dinner service]
Gordon: (to the blue team) Get in there! (the red kitchen) Let's put one shit mess with another shit mess! Get in there! There you go, join forces. We've gone backwards! And you're (Vanessa) just all over the place! And you're (Jason) just hopeless! And you (Ben) don't care! Pathetic! And then you look at me gaumless like the salmon's raw when it was requested medium. And what did you say?
Ben: Different techniques.
Gordon: FUCK OFF! Not good enough! I'm not going to continue this any longer. Winning team? Forget it! What the fuck is so complicated?! Christina, you made an effort to get all the appetizers out. Thank god! Unfortunately, we got screwed when it came to the first entree. You've got to go upstairs and nominate one individual that's leaving here.
Christina: Yes chef.
Gordon: Petrozza, you stayed with it. Your mind was clear. The attitude was strong. Get upstairs and think about who you are going to nominate. One from the blue and one from the red. Now GET OUT! (Bobby waves to some ladies that he served tableside.) Bob come here. Yeah I wouldn't go around looking for applauders right now. Right now is the wrong fucking time! GET OUT!!!
Bobby: Okay chef.
Gordon: Jackass waving at them! What do we have to wave about?! I don't care! GET OUT!!!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Narrator: As the men go off for a day of hard labor, Chef Ramsay and the women are off to the Sunset Strip. Little does Chef know...
Gordon: Okay. Off we go.
Narrator: One of Hell's Kitchen's former chefs is a regular at the Saddle Ranch.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Aaron: Yee-hah! Howdy Chef Ramsay!
Gordon: Oh my God.
Aaron: (goes over and hugs Gordon) Good to see you Chef.
Gordon: I feel like crying (pretends to cry)
Aaron: (laughs) Don't cry, Chef!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
[Ben has to clean up all the manure outside the restaurant.]
Scott: This is what happens when you don't win challenges Ben.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Narrator: 45 minutes into dinner service, blue diners are enjoying their appetizers.
Boy: The onion rings are good. I like them.
Narrator: The onion rings are getting positive reviews.
[Cut to a blue table where a boy is biting into a raw chicken wing cooked by Matt]
Narrator: The chicken however...
Gordon: (As Jean-Phillipe returns the chicken.) Oh no. Oh no! Raw chicken?
Jean-Phillipe: Yeah, raw chicken chef.
Gordon: Oh fucking hell. GENTLEMEN!! (slams the plates down) RAW CHICKEN! Matt! (kicks the bins.) Pink and bloody! (Throws the chicken in the bin) Come here you fucking prick!
Matt: Yes chef.
Gordon: What the fuck are you doing?
Matt: Yes chef. Sorry chef, it won't happen again.
Craig: (interview) Oh my god. That's pretty major. If a kid is biting into a chicken wing that's raw, that's just fucking nasty.
Gordon: It's the tartare again with you isn't it?
[Flashback to day 1 where Matt's Exotic Tartare made Gordon vomit.]
Gordon: That's what it is, isn't it? That's what you can do?
Matt: No it's not chef. (interview) I was this close to his face and I didn't even blink at him.
Gordon: You can manage to fuck up raw food. WAKE UP!!
Matt: Yes chef! (interview) I'm not going to break. I'm not here to break. He's not going to break me as a person.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: Matt, you've got three different cuts of meat there. One fucking large one, one medium one and one small one. That's not good enough for me!
Christina: (interview) Matt's tenderloins were not the same size. Are you kidding me?
Gordon: So there you go. There's the daddy, there's the mommy, there's the fucking baby. Suppose this is the food critic table and the baby is medium rare what will happen to it?
Matt: It'll definitely shrink.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: Louross! Raw steak!!
Louross: Ohhhhhh.
Gordon: And he goes like this, "Ohhhhhh." as if he's performing for the Oscars. If your fucking cooking was as good as your acting, you'd be talented you dick!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: Louross was never short on energy. He was just "short" on cooking ability.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: I once knew a boy named Matt, whose performance was terribly flat. He was far from neat, miserable on meat, so I kicked him out and that's that.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: Over the last three months, it has really been a roller coaster ride. We've had plenty of highs and lows, but this season ended on a high. Now it's time for me to get the fuck out of Hell's Kitchen.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
[After completing service, the red team comes in to help the blue team.]
Gordon: Jen, stand next to Chef Ben. Cook with him.
Ben: (interview) The thing is, it's embarrassing that chef called them in to come help.
Gordon: (to Ben) Look at the current situation. Now, go around and slap yourselves in the back now then.
Ben: I thought we were close chef, but I was wrong.
Gordon: You thought you were fucking close. Let's give a big round of applause to the captain who hit an iceberg on the fucking Titanic. Shayna.
Shayna: Yes chef.
Gordon: Stay next to Chef Craig.
Shayna: What do you need?
Craig: I got it. I got it. I got it.
Shayna: (interview) "I got it. I got it. I got it."
Shayna: What do you need?
Craig: I got it.
Shayna: Don't tell me you got it. What do you need? (interview) Chill! Take the help. Even if it's from a girl.
Louross: Just push out the plates. Let's just do it and just end the day.
Gordon: Away now, one crab cake, one meatballs, one clam, one Caesar.
Louross: (to Craig) How long?
Gordon: How long for the fucking clam?
Shayna: You're burning, you're burning.
Gordon: He's not even giving me an answer.
Matt: Come on, answer him, please!
Gordon: He's making me feel fucking nervous!
Craig: (burns his hand) Fuck!
Gordon: Hello?!
Ben: Let's just go! Craig, Craig, the pasta's ready! Come on!
Gordon: How long for the fucking clam?
Craig: It's coming up right NOWWWW! Fucking listen! (angrily throws a pan to one side)
Gordon: Oh, my fucking god.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: Ben, what you've done and the ambitions, you do seriously surprise me.
Ben: Thank you, chef, I was hoping you'd see that. I mean, I give it all I've got. Gave you a hundred and ten.
Gordon: You surprise me as to how shit you are!
Ben: Oh... thank you.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
[Matt, Craig and Ben are nominated for elimination]
Gordon: All three of you should walk through that door.
Ben: I'm just going to keep giving you 100% chef. Every day.
Matt: I'm going to give you 125%.
Craig: I don't know percentages but just over that.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: I can teach someone how to cook but Craig was a terrible cook with an even worse attitude. There was no chance for him.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: Every 16 year-old girl filled out these comment cards this evening. Gentlemen, out of all the customers you cooked for tonight, 98% of them said they'd come back. Brilliant! Ladies, on the other hand... 99% of your customers would come back. (the women cheer loudly, while the men look dismayed) Actually, tonight, there's no losing team. I can't seriously decide on a winning team on a difference of 1%.
Matt: Thank you, chef, for your generosity...
Gordon: Fuck the generosity, Matt. Both teams think of one individual, up for elimination, to leave Hell's Kitchen tonight. Now, piss off.
Matt: (interview) Chef Ramsay still wants two people chosen, and I'm gonna be the one chosen for the blue team, and now I'm packing my bags.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: Matt, you've peaked, right?
Matt: No, chef, I haven't peaked yet.
Gordon: So why should you stay in Hell's Kitchen?
Matt: Chef, I should stay in Hell's Kitchen because I was pushed and bullied off of my section tonight, while others on my team was hiding behind one person.
Gordon: Who pushed you off your section?
Matt: Bobby pushed me off of my section.
Gordon: You hid behind Bobby!
Matt: Ben hides behind Bobby! Not me.
Gordon: He took over your section!
Matt: He pushed me off my section, would not let me back on...
Gordon: Look at the size of you! There's 250lbs in there. Louross's balls are bigger than yours!
Matt: I don't even have a voice in my kitchen, no-one listens to me. I guarantee you, if you put me on the red team, you will see the failure in the blue team.
Gordon: You want to cook with the girls?
Matt: I have no shame in working with women in the kitchen chef.
Gordon: Un-fucking real.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
[After eliminating Shayna]
Gordon: Oh, and by the way, "Mattie."
Matt: Yes, chef?
Gordon: First thing tomorrow morning, you're cooking with the girls.
Matt: Thank you, chef.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
[Before the final round of the blind taste test]
Gordon: Now, listen up. There's been some great rivalries out there. Yankees versus Red Sox.
Matt: Go Yankees!
Gordon: Tyson versus Holyfield, yes? Now, ladies and gentlemen, Matt versus Ben! Let's go.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: Ben! Quickly, here. (Ben slowly walks up to the pass) Look at him, speedy, quickly, yeah? Just touch that, you can see how pink it is already. Fucking hell. I just want you to know what you're doing! None of you are communicating, no-one's going together, no-one's making eye contact, and no-one's reminding each other as a team!
Ben: Chef, I'm not used to the brigade system. It takes a little time to get adapted to it, and... that's it.
Gordon: Hey, do you know what? You are so fucking sad. Every time I ask you something, you give me the limpest excuse, you know that.
Ben: I'm just being honest with you.
Gordon: Yeah, I know that. I'm being fucking honest with you!
Matt: (to Jen) I love it. He's getting his ass kicked tonight.
Gordon: You're one of the most fucking saddest I've ever met in a fucking kitchen. "It needs a little time. I can't get used to this." Sounds like the fucking weirdo on Dr. Phil!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
[Jean-Philippe has just returned some food to the pass]
Gordon: What table is that?
Jean-Philippe: Blue side, chef. They requested well done, and it's blood all over.
Gordon: Oh, fucking hell. (to Ben) There you go, there you go. Requested well done. Now look at it, then! SCHMUCK!! JERK!! (kicks the bins)
Ben: (interview) I have a lot of pride in myself and what I do. I'm just gonna keep working and try and get the food out. That's all you can do.
Gordon: Anything to say? It's easy for you, that's your fucking problem. You've had it fucking easy, you're not even busting a gut.
Matt: (to the Red Team) Karma really bits you in the ass.
Gordon: All fucking night you've taken it easy. And listen, hey, look at me. STOP IT! Switch it off. You're not sending any more shit out of here, you've sent enough. Take it easy, you've had a hard night, you deserve it.
Ben: Are we done here, because if not, I'm gonna complete my station tonight, chef.
Gordon: SHUT IT DOWN! TURN IT OFF, YOU DICK! STOP IT!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: And the name of the dish is what?
Danny: Mahi Gone Bananas, chef.
Gordon: It looks like you've gone slightly bananas. It's hideous. Back in line.
Danny: (interview) Ramsay's definitely just looking for a rise out of me, which he's going to eventually going to get.
Gordon: So the idea came from where?
Danny: I just pulled it out of my ass, sir.
Gordon: Put it back in there because it sucks.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: Who's cooked the diapers?
Colleen: No diapers, sir. That's chicken enchiladas with poblano cream sauce. My name's Colleen.
Gordon: Corinne.
Colleen: Colleen.
Gordon: Corinne.
Colleen: COL-leen.
Gordon: What do you do for a living?
Colleen: I am a culinary instructor and I own a recreational cooking school.
Gordon: And were you a trained chef before you set up a school?
Colleen: No, I am not a trained chef.
Gordon: So you're not a trained chef, yet you teach chefs to cook.
Colleen: That's correct.
Gordon: How much do you charge?
Colleen: 300 per three to four hours.
Gordon: Right. Look at the size of it.
Colleen: I feed big Nebraska boys. Would you like me to get you a bite?
Gordon: No, I'll bite it myself. (tries dish, spits it out)
Colleen: Great.
Gordon: You seriously charge $300 to teach people how to make that crap?
Colleen: Yes chef.
Gordon: I feel like I need some plastic wrap on my ass.
Colleen: (interview) It was extremely difficult to just stand there and keep my mouth shut? (to Gordon) I teach manners, too, chef.
Gordon: Say that again.
Narrator: Cooking instructor Colleen not only offered Chef Ramsay a dish he didn't care for, but an etiquette lesson as well.
Gordon: Okay, Miss Manners, please fuck off back in line.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: It looks like lamb chops on a bed of ratatouille.
Seth: Uh, that's mine, chef. (interview) To be like Chef Ramsay is my dream. I've read his books, I've visited his restaurant in Manhattan. I think we have very similar styles.
Gordon: How long have you been cooking?
Seth: Fifteen years around.
Gordon: And what is it?
Seth: Cinnamon crusted rack of lamb with a(n) aubergine ratatouille.
Gordon: The ratatouille, what's in there?
Seth: Tomatoes, onion, tomato sauce, tomato paste.
Gordon: (spits out food) How come the aubergine's so sweet?
Seth: There's some honey, uh...
Gordon: Honey in a ratatouille? Uh, is that normal?
Crowd: No chef.
Gordon: That's the worst dish I've ever tasted. (Seth laughs) Fifteen years to cook that shit and you're laughing. You could make history on being the fastest exit in Hell's Kitchen. And I'm fucking serious, you know that. Back in line. (Seth goes back in line) The quicker you understand how serious I am, the quicker you'll cook better.
Seth: I'll try harder next time, sir. (interview) I thought it looked all right. I think my presentation was good. I know it's a good dish. I gotta prove to him that I can cook my ass off.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: Charlie's on the garnish. Robert's on the garnish. And Wil is on planet cuckoo.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Narrator: Seth is hoping to score high marks with his first entrée.
Gordon: Why's it all fucking mangled?
Scott: He didn't have it ready, and then he sliced it and seared all the chops.
Gordon: Hey, Forrest! Come here, you.
Seth: (interview) Ramsay, he keeps calling me "Forrest" as in Forrest Gump. I think it's a great name!
Gordon: You didn't cook it temperature wise, so you decided to buckle it and bastardize it. Now you're really having a laugh, yeah?
Ben: (interview) Man, this poor lamb chop just got charred. No excuse for that first lamb.
Gordon: Would you get excited to come here and eat that shit?
Seth: Absolutely not.
Gordon: Yeah, fuck off.
Seth: (interview) Listen, I screwed up the lamb, but at the end of the service, me and Gordon will be like peas and carrots once again!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Narrator: It's two and a half hours into the dinner service, and while Colleen has finally mastered the spaghetti, she still has a lot to learn about risotto.
Gordon: Look! Hey, taste that.
Colleen: Yes, chef.
[Ramsay spits out the risotto in disgust]
Gordon: That's the risotto! That, quite frankly, is the worst risotto I've ever tasted in my entire cooking career. Why's it so sweet? Who put sugar in there?
Colleen: (holding up a pot of sugar) Oh, I grabbed this. I thought it was salt.
LA: (interview) Are you fucking kidding me?
Gordon: That... (throws the risotto in the trash) is fucking shit! Oh my god!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)
Gordon: Come here, you. Hey, Coi, come here! Carol, Lacey, come here. (to Colleen) Away now, two Wellington, yes, one salmon and one John Dory. Where's the John Dory?
Colleen: (brief pause) I don't have the John Dory.
Gordon: You don't have it. Hey, look, come here, look at that. (holds up the salmon) Look, look, hey don't run away. IT'S BLACK! On top of that, there's an added bonus. It's fucking raw in the middle.
Colleen: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Fucking useless, fucking shit. You're not a cookery school teacher, are you? You're joking, aren't you?
Colleen: No, I'm not joking, chef.
Gordon: Tell me, tell me you're pumping yourself up to make yourself look good. You don't really have a cooking school?
Colleen: No, chef, I own a cooking school. I have a business just like you do.
Gordon: Your fucking business is not like my business, hey madam, let's get that fucking right.
Colleen: You're right.
Gordon: YOU'RE ROBBING PEOPLE! YOU'RE A THIEF! I'M CONCERNED FOR THE POOR BASTARDS THAT YOU'VE TAKEN MONEY OFF OF! (spots another piece of salmon burning) Hey, madam, lift that lid off, it looks black.
Colleen: It IS black! Both of them!
Gordon: Oh my god! SHIT! SHIT!! IT'S BLACK!
Colleen: Yes, chef.
Gordon: OH MY GOD!
Carol: These are burning.
Colleen: I know.
Gordon: Hey, madam. GET OUT! Get on the raw bar. Lacey! Lacey, get on the fish.
Lacey: Yes, chef!
Colleen: (interview) Chef Ramsay's definitely not gonna break me. He can ask me to leave, he can kick me out of the kitchen, he can do all those things, but he's not gonna break me.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen (U.S.)