Glee Quotes
Quinn: So what do you want to talk about in private?
Sam: These galactic mobiles aren't the stars at McKinley. We are. Or at least I want us to be. I think I love you.
Quinn: Oh.
Sam: Look, my shoulder's healed up and I'm going to be the quarterback again soon. And you're already the head cheerleader. [Bends on one knee and opens a box with a ring]
Quinn: Oh my god, are you proposing? We've known each other for 6 weeks. Stand up. You're freaking me out.
Sam: I-I wanna marry you, someday. Until then, will you accept this promise ring?
Quinn: What are you, 6?
Sam: : [Stands up] If you accept, this ring will symbolize my promise to you to be true, to never pressure you to do anything more than kiss, to listen to your problems, to tell you when you have food in your teeth or eye gunk, to come over to your house whenever you need something super heavy to move around. I promise to make you feel proud when you walk down the hall and say, "That dude's my boyfriend." I promise to do all of those things without trying to sound like Matthew McConaughey.
Quinn: [Laughs softly]
Sam: [Bends down on one knee again] I really care about you, Quinn and I want us to be together.
Quinn: [Closes the box]
Sam: Is that a no?
Quinn: It's a maybe. [Leaves]
Sam: These galactic mobiles aren't the stars at McKinley. We are. Or at least I want us to be. I think I love you.
Quinn: Oh.
Sam: Look, my shoulder's healed up and I'm going to be the quarterback again soon. And you're already the head cheerleader. [Bends on one knee and opens a box with a ring]
Quinn: Oh my god, are you proposing? We've known each other for 6 weeks. Stand up. You're freaking me out.
Sam: I-I wanna marry you, someday. Until then, will you accept this promise ring?
Quinn: What are you, 6?
Sam: : [Stands up] If you accept, this ring will symbolize my promise to you to be true, to never pressure you to do anything more than kiss, to listen to your problems, to tell you when you have food in your teeth or eye gunk, to come over to your house whenever you need something super heavy to move around. I promise to make you feel proud when you walk down the hall and say, "That dude's my boyfriend." I promise to do all of those things without trying to sound like Matthew McConaughey.
Quinn: [Laughs softly]
Sam: [Bends down on one knee again] I really care about you, Quinn and I want us to be together.
Quinn: [Closes the box]
Sam: Is that a no?
Quinn: It's a maybe. [Leaves]
TV Show: Glee
Sue: Lady, if this kid lays a finger on you, I will expel him faster than a Thai take-out place can read back your order. Okay? But until that happens, I'm genuinely sorry to say this, there's nothing legally I or the school board can do.
Will: Come on Kurt. We're gonna be late for rehearsal.
Kurt: [Gets his bag and begins to leave but stops and turns to Sue] You know when you call me lady, that's bullying. And it's really hurtful.
Sue: I'm sorry, I thought that was your name. As an apology I'll allow you to choose from the following nicknames: Gelfling, Porcelain, or Tickle Me Doughface.
Kurt: I guess I'll go with Porcelain.
Sue: Damn, totally wanted Tickle Me Doughface.
Will: Come on Kurt. We're gonna be late for rehearsal.
Kurt: [Gets his bag and begins to leave but stops and turns to Sue] You know when you call me lady, that's bullying. And it's really hurtful.
Sue: I'm sorry, I thought that was your name. As an apology I'll allow you to choose from the following nicknames: Gelfling, Porcelain, or Tickle Me Doughface.
Kurt: I guess I'll go with Porcelain.
Sue: Damn, totally wanted Tickle Me Doughface.
TV Show: Glee
Rachel: Ladies, the Kurt/Karofsky bullying situation is getting way out of control. Kurt's miserable. He's losing weight and not in a good way and he's barely fighting me for solos anymore.
Tina: We've all been teased but something about what Karofsky's doing is so much worse.
Rachel: We're all lucky enough to have boyfriends on the football team. I say we band together and demand that they confront Karofsky.
Quinn: Okay, first of all, I'm not dating Sam. And second of all, I think you set the feminist movement back fifty years.
Rachel: Look, guys like Karofsky only respond to muscle.
Quinn: So, we're going to fight violence with violence?
Rachel: No! Look I'm not saying that we should hit him, I'm saying that we need to defend Kurt and there's strength in numbers.
Tina: So I'm confused. [Turns to Brittany] Are you and Artie officially dating now?
Brittany: Deal with it. When you guys ever fooled around, did he ever just, like, lie there?
Santana: [Walks in] Why didn't you tell me we were having a Glee girls meeting?
Rachel: This is a meeting for Glee girls with boyfriends. We're going to make them stop Karofsky from bullying Kurt.
Santana: Okay, I'm dating Puckerman.
Quinn: You're getting naked with Puckerman.
Tina: Besides, Puck can't mess with Karofsky. He's on probation. If he gets in a fight with him, he'll be sent back to juvee.
Rachel: Mm-hmm. So now if you'll excuse us.
Santana: [scoffs] You're so on my list, dwarf. [leaves]
Rachel: Look if something bad happens to Kurt and we didn't do anything to stop it, we'll never be able to live with ourselves.
Tina: We've all been teased but something about what Karofsky's doing is so much worse.
Rachel: We're all lucky enough to have boyfriends on the football team. I say we band together and demand that they confront Karofsky.
Quinn: Okay, first of all, I'm not dating Sam. And second of all, I think you set the feminist movement back fifty years.
Rachel: Look, guys like Karofsky only respond to muscle.
Quinn: So, we're going to fight violence with violence?
Rachel: No! Look I'm not saying that we should hit him, I'm saying that we need to defend Kurt and there's strength in numbers.
Tina: So I'm confused. [Turns to Brittany] Are you and Artie officially dating now?
Brittany: Deal with it. When you guys ever fooled around, did he ever just, like, lie there?
Santana: [Walks in] Why didn't you tell me we were having a Glee girls meeting?
Rachel: This is a meeting for Glee girls with boyfriends. We're going to make them stop Karofsky from bullying Kurt.
Santana: Okay, I'm dating Puckerman.
Quinn: You're getting naked with Puckerman.
Tina: Besides, Puck can't mess with Karofsky. He's on probation. If he gets in a fight with him, he'll be sent back to juvee.
Rachel: Mm-hmm. So now if you'll excuse us.
Santana: [scoffs] You're so on my list, dwarf. [leaves]
Rachel: Look if something bad happens to Kurt and we didn't do anything to stop it, we'll never be able to live with ourselves.
TV Show: Glee
Kurt: Trust me on this. I’ve been planning weddings since I was 2. My Power Rangers have gotten married and divorced in so many combinations it’s like they’re Fleetwood Mac.
TV Show: Glee
Finn: Are you sure we should free 300 live doves indoors? Won't that get messy?
Kurt: That's why we feed them glitter.
Kurt: That's why we feed them glitter.
TV Show: Glee
Artie: Stop picking on Kurt.
Karofsky: You mind? I'm changing.
Mike: We're serious. [slams locker closed] This is a warning.
Karofsky: Oh, yeah?
Artie: From now on you're gonna leave him alone.
Karofsky: Look, if he wants to be a homo, that's up to him. Don't rub it in my face.
Artie: We're not asking you.
Mike: Yeah, we're done talking about this. It ends now. Just back off, alright?
Karofsky: Why don't you back off? [pushes Mike into Artie]
Karofsky: You mind? I'm changing.
Mike: We're serious. [slams locker closed] This is a warning.
Karofsky: Oh, yeah?
Artie: From now on you're gonna leave him alone.
Karofsky: Look, if he wants to be a homo, that's up to him. Don't rub it in my face.
Artie: We're not asking you.
Mike: Yeah, we're done talking about this. It ends now. Just back off, alright?
Karofsky: Why don't you back off? [pushes Mike into Artie]
TV Show: Glee
Finn: Karofsky plays right guard. If he gets pissed at me, I'm gonna get sacked more times than Jay Cutler, which means we're gonna lose, which means Beiste is gonna make Sam quarterback.
TV Show: Glee
Finn: Never learned to tie a tie.
Santana: Sit down, Frankenteen. You know you're losing it. Sam's clearly the new glee favorite, he's going to be starting quarterback...
Finn: What's your point?
Santana: You need a coolness injection. Y'know if you were honest and told people we did it last year, you would go from uncool to Chilly Willy.
Finn: Maybe. But I can't do that.
Santana: Sit down, Frankenteen. You know you're losing it. Sam's clearly the new glee favorite, he's going to be starting quarterback...
Finn: What's your point?
Santana: You need a coolness injection. Y'know if you were honest and told people we did it last year, you would go from uncool to Chilly Willy.
Finn: Maybe. But I can't do that.
TV Show: Glee
Rachel: Wait.
Finn: What?
Rachel: I have to tell you something... I never had sex with Jesse. I-I lied... to make you jealous. But this is good, because now neither of us have done it, we can save it, for each other.
Finn: Awesome.
Finn: What?
Rachel: I have to tell you something... I never had sex with Jesse. I-I lied... to make you jealous. But this is good, because now neither of us have done it, we can save it, for each other.
Finn: Awesome.
TV Show: Glee
Finn: If she found out, she'd break up with me.
Santana: And that would be bad because?
Finn: Because I'm in love with her and I don't wanna hurt her feelings.
Santana: Don't you see that that midget is like an anchor dragging you down to the depths of Loserville?
Finn: Stop it, Santana, that's my girlfriend! I think you should leave.
Santana: [Gets up] Okay. Well, maybe I'll tell her. I mean, if you two broke up, we'd be free to see each other, right?
Rachel: [Walks in] Hey. What are you guys doing?
Santana: Nothing. I was just leaving.
Rachel: Aren't you going to tell me how pretty I look?
Finn: You look amazing.
Rachel: What?
Finn: I... I just really love you.
Rachel: I love you, too.
Santana: And that would be bad because?
Finn: Because I'm in love with her and I don't wanna hurt her feelings.
Santana: Don't you see that that midget is like an anchor dragging you down to the depths of Loserville?
Finn: Stop it, Santana, that's my girlfriend! I think you should leave.
Santana: [Gets up] Okay. Well, maybe I'll tell her. I mean, if you two broke up, we'd be free to see each other, right?
Rachel: [Walks in] Hey. What are you guys doing?
Santana: Nothing. I was just leaving.
Rachel: Aren't you going to tell me how pretty I look?
Finn: You look amazing.
Rachel: What?
Finn: I... I just really love you.
Rachel: I love you, too.
TV Show: Glee
Burt: I'm not really known for having a way with words. You know, when you're a kid, adults will tell you lots of things. But one thing they neglect to mention is how sad life can be. I lost somebody I loved very much, but Kurt... He lost his mom. And that killed me. Well, we got by, but looking back, I-I wanna apologize to you, Kurt. What we were living, it just... it wasn't living. You know that saying, that when God closes a door, he opens a window? Well,sometimes, out of nowhere, He'll do you one better. He'll kick a whole wall down. He grabbed me by the shoulders and He pointed me towards this woman right here, and He said, 'There she is, go get her'. You're everything, Carole. Words can't describe you - you're everything. And I will love you till the day I die.
[Rachel tears up, Finn smiles at her, Santana watches longingly]
Carole: I'm lucky. Most women, when they get married, they get one man. I get two. One of you saved me from my wardrobe, the other just saved me. Kurt, you're an amazing person. I'm not only getting a son, I'm getting a friend. Finn... I know you were resistant at first, but I am so proud of you. I've watched you grow into a man. But I think I'm most proud that you've become a brother to Kurt. [Carole holds Finn's hand, Burt takes Kurt's] We are four people becoming a family.
Priest: Okay. Burt, do you take Carole—
Burt: You bet I do!
Priest: And do you, Carole, take this man—
Carole: Oh, yes, I do! Yes, I do!
[Everyone applauds. Burt and Carole kiss]
[Rachel tears up, Finn smiles at her, Santana watches longingly]
Carole: I'm lucky. Most women, when they get married, they get one man. I get two. One of you saved me from my wardrobe, the other just saved me. Kurt, you're an amazing person. I'm not only getting a son, I'm getting a friend. Finn... I know you were resistant at first, but I am so proud of you. I've watched you grow into a man. But I think I'm most proud that you've become a brother to Kurt. [Carole holds Finn's hand, Burt takes Kurt's] We are four people becoming a family.
Priest: Okay. Burt, do you take Carole—
Burt: You bet I do!
Priest: And do you, Carole, take this man—
Carole: Oh, yes, I do! Yes, I do!
[Everyone applauds. Burt and Carole kiss]
TV Show: Glee
Will: And now, I'd like to introduce one of the best men: Finn Hudson.
Finn: [Takes a glass from the waiter] Oh, thanks. Hi. Uh, thank you. Best man. Right. Well, I wanna propose a toast to my mom, who is so awesome. I mean, somehow even without one in the house, you've taught me what it means to be a man. [Carole tears up] In Glee club, whenever two of us get together, we got a nickname. Rachel and I are Finchel. [Rachel smiles] Rachel and Puck were Puckleberry. [Rachel scowls] And today, a new union was formed: Furt [Kurt looks surprised, the gleeks laugh. To Kurt] You and me, man. We're brothers from another mother. And quite frankly, no one else has shown me as much as you about what it means to be a man. And over the past few weeks, uh, some stuff's gone down. And I haven't manned up like I should've. From now on, no matter what it costs me, I got your back. Okay? Even if it means getting a slushie in the face every now and then. [The gleeks chuckle] You put this entire wedding together by yourself, Kurt. So, as a thank-you I had the Glee Club put together a little number in your honor. [To Kurt] You're gonna dance it with me dude.
Finn: [Takes a glass from the waiter] Oh, thanks. Hi. Uh, thank you. Best man. Right. Well, I wanna propose a toast to my mom, who is so awesome. I mean, somehow even without one in the house, you've taught me what it means to be a man. [Carole tears up] In Glee club, whenever two of us get together, we got a nickname. Rachel and I are Finchel. [Rachel smiles] Rachel and Puck were Puckleberry. [Rachel scowls] And today, a new union was formed: Furt [Kurt looks surprised, the gleeks laugh. To Kurt] You and me, man. We're brothers from another mother. And quite frankly, no one else has shown me as much as you about what it means to be a man. And over the past few weeks, uh, some stuff's gone down. And I haven't manned up like I should've. From now on, no matter what it costs me, I got your back. Okay? Even if it means getting a slushie in the face every now and then. [The gleeks chuckle] You put this entire wedding together by yourself, Kurt. So, as a thank-you I had the Glee Club put together a little number in your honor. [To Kurt] You're gonna dance it with me dude.
TV Show: Glee
Quinn: We've been talking this whole time and you haven't even noticed that I'm wearing your ring
Sam: How'd you get that?
Quinn: I broke into your locker. I've always been really handy with a nail file
Sam: Really?
Quinn: Mmm-hmm.
Sam: How'd you get that?
Quinn: I broke into your locker. I've always been really handy with a nail file
Sam: Really?
Quinn: Mmm-hmm.
TV Show: Glee
Santana: That’s right Yentl. Your sweetheart’s been lying to you because he and I totally got it on last year.
TV Show: Glee
Quinn: (to Rachel) You used to be just sort of unlikeable. But now I pretty much feel like punching you every time you open your mouth.
TV Show: Glee
Rachel: Do you ever fantasize about your own funeral?
Kurt: No.
Rachel: I do. Finn throwing himself into the grave out of grief and all of the heartfelt speeches and regrets.
Kurt: That's insane.
Rachel: Clearly, no one in the Glee Club appreciates me. Is it so wrong for me to fantasize about them finally realizing how amazing I am, but it being too late?
Kurt: No.
Rachel: I do. Finn throwing himself into the grave out of grief and all of the heartfelt speeches and regrets.
Kurt: That's insane.
Rachel: Clearly, no one in the Glee Club appreciates me. Is it so wrong for me to fantasize about them finally realizing how amazing I am, but it being too late?
TV Show: Glee
Kurt: How come you were never this nice to me before?
Rachel: You were my only REAL competition.
Kurt: [smiles] True, true.
Rachel: You were my only REAL competition.
Kurt: [smiles] True, true.
TV Show: Glee
Sam: Are you okay?
Quinn: No, I'm totally freaking out. Last time we performed in front of an audience I went into labor. I think I'm having a post-traumatic stress disorder.
Mercedes: That's why I'm totally available to fill in.
Quinn: No, I'm totally freaking out. Last time we performed in front of an audience I went into labor. I think I'm having a post-traumatic stress disorder.
Mercedes: That's why I'm totally available to fill in.
TV Show: Glee
Rachel: You said you'd never break up with me!
Finn: I knew you were a lot of things, Rachel, and I loved you because of and in spite of all of them, but I never thought you were mean. I never thought you'd make me feel like this.
Finn: I knew you were a lot of things, Rachel, and I loved you because of and in spite of all of them, but I never thought you were mean. I never thought you'd make me feel like this.
TV Show: Glee
Brittany: (to Artie about not being able to win at Sectionals) I know I can't. Just like I know the cricket that reads to me at night is totally stealing my jewelry.
TV Show: Glee