Firefly Quotes
[Asian style music plays as Inara massages her client's back.]
Councilor: Oh— that feels amazing. [Inara smiles] Oh, right there. Oh, that's perfect. I should have done this weeks ago.
Inara: [chuckling] Well, I wouldn't have been here weeks ago.
Councilor: That would have been a shame.
Inara: For me as well. You have such beautiful skin.
Councilor: [looking up at Inara] There's no need for the show, Inara. I just need to relax with someone who's making no demands on me.
Inara: Most of my clientèle is male, do you know that?
Councilor: No.
Inara: [smiling gently.] If I choose a woman, she tends to be extraordinary in some way. [laughing] And the fact is, I occasionally have the exact same need you do. One can not always be one's self in the company of men.
Councilor: [smiling.] Never, actually.
Inara: So no show. Let's just... enjoy ourselves.
Councilor: You are so lovely.
[The councilor and Inara kiss and embrace passionately.]
Councilor: Oh— that feels amazing. [Inara smiles] Oh, right there. Oh, that's perfect. I should have done this weeks ago.
Inara: [chuckling] Well, I wouldn't have been here weeks ago.
Councilor: That would have been a shame.
Inara: For me as well. You have such beautiful skin.
Councilor: [looking up at Inara] There's no need for the show, Inara. I just need to relax with someone who's making no demands on me.
Inara: Most of my clientèle is male, do you know that?
Councilor: No.
Inara: [smiling gently.] If I choose a woman, she tends to be extraordinary in some way. [laughing] And the fact is, I occasionally have the exact same need you do. One can not always be one's self in the company of men.
Councilor: [smiling.] Never, actually.
Inara: So no show. Let's just... enjoy ourselves.
Councilor: You are so lovely.
[The councilor and Inara kiss and embrace passionately.]
TV Show: Firefly
[Mal and Wash are flying in the second shuttle.]
Mal: Look— this thing, with you and Zoe—
Wash: Really not looking to talk on that topic.
Mal: Hey, I let that [stupid (in Chinese)] trick of yours slide back there because this is a milk run. But when I go on a mission, I'm taking Zoe, and that's the drill. You know that. I mean, what happens if we get in a situation here?
Wash: Hey, I've been in a firefight before. [Pauses] Well, I was in a fire. [Pauses] Actually, I was fired, from a fry cook opportunity. [Pauses again.] I can handle myself.
Mal: And you understand what Zoe's job entails?
Wash: [Nodding enthusiastically] I'll learn as I go.
[After landing at the drop location, Wash carries an apparently heavy crate. ]
Wash: So now I'm learning about carrying.
(Niska's men have ambushed the drop, killing the buyers and holding Mal and Wash at gunpoint)
Wash: Now I'm learning about scary.
Mal: Look— this thing, with you and Zoe—
Wash: Really not looking to talk on that topic.
Mal: Hey, I let that [stupid (in Chinese)] trick of yours slide back there because this is a milk run. But when I go on a mission, I'm taking Zoe, and that's the drill. You know that. I mean, what happens if we get in a situation here?
Wash: Hey, I've been in a firefight before. [Pauses] Well, I was in a fire. [Pauses] Actually, I was fired, from a fry cook opportunity. [Pauses again.] I can handle myself.
Mal: And you understand what Zoe's job entails?
Wash: [Nodding enthusiastically] I'll learn as I go.
[After landing at the drop location, Wash carries an apparently heavy crate. ]
Wash: So now I'm learning about carrying.
(Niska's men have ambushed the drop, killing the buyers and holding Mal and Wash at gunpoint)
Wash: Now I'm learning about scary.
TV Show: Firefly
[Jayne and Book are working out in the cargo hold. Inara and the councilor are coming down the stairs; the two kiss, and the councilor exits the ship. Jayne shakes his head. Inara rolls her eyes as she catches Jayne staring, and climbs the stairs back to her shuttle.]
Jayne: I'll be in my bunk.
[Zoe appears.]
Zoe: Jayne, grab your weapon.
Jayne: I'll be in my bunk.
[Zoe appears.]
Zoe: Jayne, grab your weapon.
TV Show: Firefly
[Wash and Mal are blindfolded in Niska's torture chamber.]
Mal: You okay?
Wash: [Panicking] I think I've been kidnapped.
Mal: Yeah.
Wash: [Pauses] Can you see where we are?
Mal: No.
Wash: Mal, what the hell is going on?
Mal: Ain't rightly sure.
Wash: But you've got some theories?
Mal: [Slightly irritated] Still working it through.
Wash: [Loudly] I don't want you to spare me, Mal. If you think you know what's happening then you tell me. You wouldn't spare Zoe if she were in this situation with you, would you? You would be planning, and plotting, and possibly scheming. So, whatever Zoe would do in this instance is what I wanna do. And you know why? Because no matter how ugly it gets, you two always come back. With the stories. So... I'm Zoe. Now... what do I do?
Mal: Probably not talk quite so much.
Wash: Right. Less talking. She's terse. I can be terse. Once in flight school, I was laconic. [Pause] If I'm not gonna talk, then you have to! What else?
Mal: We just gotta keep our heads.
Wash: Right. Keep our heads. That way we'll be able to, you know, keep our heads. You and Zoe have been in plenty of situations like this before, right?
Mal: Many a' time.
Wash: Many a' time, you and Zoe.
Mal: At least we know who it was took us-
Wash: Zoe and you. Together, in a tricky...[Considers this] Mal, she's my wife!
Mal: Huh?
Wash: What gives you the right to put her in a dangerous situation like this?
Mal: I didn't!
Wash: You did!
Mal: She ain't here, Wash!
Wash: No, but she would've been!
Mal: Okay.
Wash: I mean, I'm the one
Mal: You okay?
Wash: [Panicking] I think I've been kidnapped.
Mal: Yeah.
Wash: [Pauses] Can you see where we are?
Mal: No.
Wash: Mal, what the hell is going on?
Mal: Ain't rightly sure.
Wash: But you've got some theories?
Mal: [Slightly irritated] Still working it through.
Wash: [Loudly] I don't want you to spare me, Mal. If you think you know what's happening then you tell me. You wouldn't spare Zoe if she were in this situation with you, would you? You would be planning, and plotting, and possibly scheming. So, whatever Zoe would do in this instance is what I wanna do. And you know why? Because no matter how ugly it gets, you two always come back. With the stories. So... I'm Zoe. Now... what do I do?
Mal: Probably not talk quite so much.
Wash: Right. Less talking. She's terse. I can be terse. Once in flight school, I was laconic. [Pause] If I'm not gonna talk, then you have to! What else?
Mal: We just gotta keep our heads.
Wash: Right. Keep our heads. That way we'll be able to, you know, keep our heads. You and Zoe have been in plenty of situations like this before, right?
Mal: Many a' time.
Wash: Many a' time, you and Zoe.
Mal: At least we know who it was took us-
Wash: Zoe and you. Together, in a tricky...[Considers this] Mal, she's my wife!
Mal: Huh?
Wash: What gives you the right to put her in a dangerous situation like this?
Mal: I didn't!
Wash: You did!
Mal: She ain't here, Wash!
Wash: No, but she would've been!
Mal: Okay.
Wash: I mean, I'm the one
TV Show: Firefly
. . .
[Book pulls out a rifle.]
Book: This should do.
Zoe: Preacher, don't the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killin'?
Book: Quite specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps.
. . .
[Everyone looks up at Jayne, who is suddenly on the balcony, fully armed.]
Jayne: What?
Zoe: Let's go get the cap'n.
[cuts to image of Niska and henchman looking at Mal]
Henchman: Yep, he's dead.
[Book pulls out a rifle.]
Book: This should do.
Zoe: Preacher, don't the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killin'?
Book: Quite specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps.
. . .
[Everyone looks up at Jayne, who is suddenly on the balcony, fully armed.]
Jayne: What?
Zoe: Let's go get the cap'n.
[cuts to image of Niska and henchman looking at Mal]
Henchman: Yep, he's dead.
TV Show: Firefly
Zoe; Okay, people. If it moves, shoot it.
Kaylee: Unless it's the captain!
Zoe: Unless it's the captain.
Kaylee: Unless it's the captain!
Zoe: Unless it's the captain.
TV Show: Firefly
[After River kills three men with single gunshots without looking, she turns to Kaylee, grinning.]
River: No power in the 'verse can stop me.
River: No power in the 'verse can stop me.
TV Show: Firefly
[Mal, while fighting the torturer who once revived him when his body gave out.]
Mal: Haven't you killed me enough for one day?
Mal: Haven't you killed me enough for one day?
TV Show: Firefly
[Zoe, Wash, and Jayne come across Mal's struggle with his tormentor. Jayne raises his pistol, but Zoe stops him.]
Zoe: Jayne. This somethin' the Captain has to do for himself.
Mal: No! No, it's not!
Zoe: [surprised] Oh.
[They open fire, killing the torturer.]
Zoe: Jayne. This somethin' the Captain has to do for himself.
Mal: No! No, it's not!
Zoe: [surprised] Oh.
[They open fire, killing the torturer.]
TV Show: Firefly
Mal: So— I hear you all took up arms in that little piece of action back there. How you farin' with that, Doctor?
Simon: I don't know. I, uh, I never— never shot anyone before.
Book: I was there, son. I'm fair sure you haven't shot anyone… yet.
Simon: I don't know. I, uh, I never— never shot anyone before.
Book: I was there, son. I'm fair sure you haven't shot anyone… yet.
TV Show: Firefly
[Mal has explained Wash's desire to have the captain and Zoe sleep together to resolve "burning sexual tension".]
Mal: I know it's a... [puts Zoe's hands on his hip and shoulder] difficult mission, but you and I... [places his hands likewise on her] have to get it on.
Zoe: I understand. We have no choice. [deadpan] Take me, sir. Take me hard.
Jayne: [walking in] Well, somethin' about that is just downright unsettlin'.
(They lean in awkwardly to kiss, Wash grabs Zoe and pulls her away.)
Wash: We'll be in our bunk. (slaps Zoe's butt as they leave)
Jayne: [sniffing] Oh, hey— [smacks Mal in the chest where he was tortured] free soup.
[Mal groans in pain.]
Mal: I know it's a... [puts Zoe's hands on his hip and shoulder] difficult mission, but you and I... [places his hands likewise on her] have to get it on.
Zoe: I understand. We have no choice. [deadpan] Take me, sir. Take me hard.
Jayne: [walking in] Well, somethin' about that is just downright unsettlin'.
(They lean in awkwardly to kiss, Wash grabs Zoe and pulls her away.)
Wash: We'll be in our bunk. (slaps Zoe's butt as they leave)
Jayne: [sniffing] Oh, hey— [smacks Mal in the chest where he was tortured] free soup.
[Mal groans in pain.]
TV Show: Firefly
[As the show opens, Mal is shown sitting naked on a rock, in the middle of a desert.]
Mal: Yep. That went well.
Mal: Yep. That went well.
TV Show: Firefly
Monty: Mal, I want you to meet my Bridget.
[Monty steps aside to reveal Saffron, aka Mrs. Malcolm Reynolds. She and Mal draw guns on each other.]
Monty: So... you guys have met.
[Monty steps aside to reveal Saffron, aka Mrs. Malcolm Reynolds. She and Mal draw guns on each other.]
Monty: So... you guys have met.
TV Show: Firefly
Monty: Damn you, Bridget! Damn you to Hades! You broke my heart in a million pieces! You made me love you, and then you… I shaved off my beard for you, devil woman!
TV Show: Firefly
[As Saffron rummages through her purse, Malcolm puts a gun to her head.]
Mal: You're gonna want to pull your claw out of that bag, nice and slow.
Saffron: Relax. I'm not going for a gun or anything.
[Saffron pulls out some lipstick.]
Saffron: Just freshening up.
[Mal takes the lipstick from her and tosses it away.]
Mal: You and lipstick are a dangerous combination, if I recall.
. . .
[Mal frisks Saffron.]
Saffron: Mmm. You missed a spot.
Mal: Can't miss a place you've never been.
Mal: You're gonna want to pull your claw out of that bag, nice and slow.
Saffron: Relax. I'm not going for a gun or anything.
[Saffron pulls out some lipstick.]
Saffron: Just freshening up.
[Mal takes the lipstick from her and tosses it away.]
Mal: You and lipstick are a dangerous combination, if I recall.
. . .
[Mal frisks Saffron.]
Saffron: Mmm. You missed a spot.
Mal: Can't miss a place you've never been.
TV Show: Firefly
Mal: This is my scrap of nowhere. You go on, find your own.
Saffron: You can't just leave me here on this lifeless piece-of-crap moon.
Mal: I can.
Saffron: I'll die.
Mal: Well, as a courtesy, you might start getting busy on that, 'cause all this chatter ain't doin' me any kindness.
Saffron: You can't just leave me here on this lifeless piece-of-crap moon.
Mal: I can.
Saffron: I'll die.
Mal: Well, as a courtesy, you might start getting busy on that, 'cause all this chatter ain't doin' me any kindness.
TV Show: Firefly
Saffron: This was all your fault, you know. I had the perfect crime lined up.
Mal: Sure. You were gonna steal a man's beard.
Saffron: No, you HOE-tze duh PEE-goo! A million-square job. The big time. I was gonna cut Monty and his crew in, but you screwed that royal.
Mal: Odd, but I don't think I'll be losing any sleep over it.
Saffron: I've got the layout, entrance codes… Believe me, this practically robs itself.
Mal: Bye-bye, now.
Mal: Sure. You were gonna steal a man's beard.
Saffron: No, you HOE-tze duh PEE-goo! A million-square job. The big time. I was gonna cut Monty and his crew in, but you screwed that royal.
Mal: Odd, but I don't think I'll be losing any sleep over it.
Saffron: I've got the layout, entrance codes… Believe me, this practically robs itself.
Mal: Bye-bye, now.
TV Show: Firefly
[Inara cannot find work because Mal is avoiding central planets.]
Inara: Right, you're a criminal mastermind! What was the last cargo we snuck past the Alliance to transport?
Mal: That was a little dif—
Inara: What was the cargo?
Mal: [pauses, embarrassed] They were dolls.
Inara: They were little geisha dolls with big heads that wobbled!
Mal: Hey! People love those!
Inara: Right, you're a criminal mastermind! What was the last cargo we snuck past the Alliance to transport?
Mal: That was a little dif—
Inara: What was the cargo?
Mal: [pauses, embarrassed] They were dolls.
Inara: They were little geisha dolls with big heads that wobbled!
Mal: Hey! People love those!
TV Show: Firefly
Inara: Well, since I can't seem to find work as Companion, I might as well become a petty thief like you!
[An uncomfortable silence descends for a moment.]
Mal: Petty?
Inara: I didn't mean petty.
Mal: What did you mean?
Inara: Suo-SHEE?
Mal: ...That's Chinese for "petty".
[An uncomfortable silence descends for a moment.]
Mal: Petty?
Inara: I didn't mean petty.
Mal: What did you mean?
Inara: Suo-SHEE?
Mal: ...That's Chinese for "petty".
TV Show: Firefly
Mal: Saffron has a notion we can walk right in there, take the Lassiter right off his shelf.
Wash: I'm confused.
Saffron: You're asking yourself if I've got the security codes, why don't I go in, grab it for myself?
Wash: No. Actually, I was wondering... WHAT'S SHE DOING ON THIS SHIP?
. . .
Wash: We're in space! How'd she get here?
Mal: She hitched.
Wash: I don't recall pulling over!
. . .
Jayne: Okay. I got a question. If she's got the security codes, why don't she just walk in and grab it herself?
Saffron: [sarcastically]Good point!
. . .
Mal: Zoe? You ain't said a word. Time to weigh in.
Zoe: Take sounds ripe enough, assuming we can fence it.
Saffron: I know a guy on Persephone. Already has half dozen buyers on the bid.
Zoe: But Inara ain't wrong.
[She stands to face Saffron.]
Zoe: She can't be trusted.
Mal: I ain't asking you to trust her. I'll be with her on the inside the whole time.
Saffron: See there? All you gotta do to be a rich woman, hon, is... get over it.
Zoe: Hmm. Okay.
[Zoe belts Saffron, who falls to the floor.]
Zoe: I'm in.
Wash: I'm confused.
Saffron: You're asking yourself if I've got the security codes, why don't I go in, grab it for myself?
Wash: No. Actually, I was wondering... WHAT'S SHE DOING ON THIS SHIP?
. . .
Wash: We're in space! How'd she get here?
Mal: She hitched.
Wash: I don't recall pulling over!
. . .
Jayne: Okay. I got a question. If she's got the security codes, why don't she just walk in and grab it herself?
Saffron: [sarcastically]Good point!
. . .
Mal: Zoe? You ain't said a word. Time to weigh in.
Zoe: Take sounds ripe enough, assuming we can fence it.
Saffron: I know a guy on Persephone. Already has half dozen buyers on the bid.
Zoe: But Inara ain't wrong.
[She stands to face Saffron.]
Zoe: She can't be trusted.
Mal: I ain't asking you to trust her. I'll be with her on the inside the whole time.
Saffron: See there? All you gotta do to be a rich woman, hon, is... get over it.
Zoe: Hmm. Okay.
[Zoe belts Saffron, who falls to the floor.]
Zoe: I'm in.
TV Show: Firefly
[Jayne is watching over Simon and River, who are talking about Saffron.]
River: She's a liar.
Jayne: That don't exactly set her apart from the rest of us. The plunder sounds fun enough.
River: She's a liar, and no good will come of her.
Jayne: Well, as a rule, I say, girlfolk ain't to be trusted.
River: [grinning] "Jayne" is a girl's name.
Jayne: Well, Jayne ain't a girl! She starts in on that girl's-name thing, [reaches into his pants] I'll show her good 'n' all, I got man parts!
Simon: I'm... trying to think of a way for you to be cruder. I just... it's not coming.
. . .
[Jayne has departed.]
River: Afraid.
Simon: We'll be okay. Why the captain is trusting that BOO hway-HUN duh PUO-foo is beyond—
River: Not her. Jayne.
Simon: Afraid? Since when?
River: Since Ariel. Afraid we'll know.
River: She's a liar.
Jayne: That don't exactly set her apart from the rest of us. The plunder sounds fun enough.
River: She's a liar, and no good will come of her.
Jayne: Well, as a rule, I say, girlfolk ain't to be trusted.
River: [grinning] "Jayne" is a girl's name.
Jayne: Well, Jayne ain't a girl! She starts in on that girl's-name thing, [reaches into his pants] I'll show her good 'n' all, I got man parts!
Simon: I'm... trying to think of a way for you to be cruder. I just... it's not coming.
. . .
[Jayne has departed.]
River: Afraid.
Simon: We'll be okay. Why the captain is trusting that BOO hway-HUN duh PUO-foo is beyond—
River: Not her. Jayne.
Simon: Afraid? Since when?
River: Since Ariel. Afraid we'll know.
TV Show: Firefly
[Durran, yet another Saffron spouse (who calls her "Yolanda"), interrupts her as she holds a gun on Mal.]
Saffron: Durran, this isn't what it looks like.
Mal: Unless... it looks like… we're stealing your priceless Lassiter, 'cause... that's what we're doing. Don't ask me about the gun, though, 'cause that's new.
Durran: Well, I appreciate your honesty. Not, you know, a lot, but...
. . .
[As Saffron holds her gun on Durran, Mal draws a gun on Saffron.]
Mal: No one's killin' any folk today, on account o' we got a very tight schedule, Yo-Saff-Bridg.
Saffron: Durran, this isn't what it looks like.
Mal: Unless... it looks like… we're stealing your priceless Lassiter, 'cause... that's what we're doing. Don't ask me about the gun, though, 'cause that's new.
Durran: Well, I appreciate your honesty. Not, you know, a lot, but...
. . .
[As Saffron holds her gun on Durran, Mal draws a gun on Saffron.]
Mal: No one's killin' any folk today, on account o' we got a very tight schedule, Yo-Saff-Bridg.
TV Show: Firefly
Durran: How long have you been with him?
Mal: Oh— pfft! We are not together.
Saffron: He's my husband.
Mal: Well, who in the damn galaxy ain't?!
. . .
[The police, whom Durran so wisely signalled for upon discovering "Yolanda", are arriving.]
Saffron: Durran, peaches... just call them off. Tell them it was a mistake.
Durran: You need help, Yolanda.
Saffron: I'll do anything you want me to. You know how I can make you feel.
Durran: Hmm. Please. You're embarrassing yourself.
[She spin-kicks him to the floor, knocking him unconscious.]
Saffron: I'm embarrassing? Who's the dupe on the floor?
Mal: I hate to bring up our imminent arrest during your crazy time, but we gotta go.
Mal: Oh— pfft! We are not together.
Saffron: He's my husband.
Mal: Well, who in the damn galaxy ain't?!
. . .
[The police, whom Durran so wisely signalled for upon discovering "Yolanda", are arriving.]
Saffron: Durran, peaches... just call them off. Tell them it was a mistake.
Durran: You need help, Yolanda.
Saffron: I'll do anything you want me to. You know how I can make you feel.
Durran: Hmm. Please. You're embarrassing yourself.
[She spin-kicks him to the floor, knocking him unconscious.]
Saffron: I'm embarrassing? Who's the dupe on the floor?
Mal: I hate to bring up our imminent arrest during your crazy time, but we gotta go.
TV Show: Firefly
[Saffron begins to cry quietly, apparently at the permanent loss of Durran.]
Saffron: You must be loving this.
[Mal sadly shakes his head no, then nods.]
Mal: Little bit.
. . .
Saffron: You won't tell anyone about me breaking down.
Mal: I won't.
Saffron: Then I won't tell anyone how easily I got your gun out of your holster.
[She stands and points the gun at Mal.]
Mal: I'll take that as a kindness.
Saffron: You just may be the most gullible fool I ever marked. And that makes you special.
Saffron: You must be loving this.
[Mal sadly shakes his head no, then nods.]
Mal: Little bit.
. . .
Saffron: You won't tell anyone about me breaking down.
Mal: I won't.
Saffron: Then I won't tell anyone how easily I got your gun out of your holster.
[She stands and points the gun at Mal.]
Mal: I'll take that as a kindness.
Saffron: You just may be the most gullible fool I ever marked. And that makes you special.
TV Show: Firefly
[Jayne is on the infirmary table, temporarily paralyzed after his spill.]
Jayne: [mumbling] Is [s]pine okay?
Simon: How much did they offer you to sell out me and River on Ariel?
Jayne: [mumbling] Das crazy talk.
Simon: Then let's talk crazy. How much?
[Jayne's eyes move toward the door.]
Jayne: [mumbling] Anybody there?
[River pokes her head in.]
Jayne: [mumbling] Anybody else?
. . .
[Simon continues to work on Jayne as he talks.]
Simon: No matter what you do, or say or plot, no matter how you come down on us… I will never, ever harm you. You're on this table, you're safe. 'Cause I'm your medic, and however little we may like or trust each other, we're on the same crew. Got the same troubles, same enemies, and more than enough of both. Now, we could circle each other and growl, sleep with one eye open, but that thought wearies me. I don't care what you've done, I don't know what you're planning on doing, but I'm trusting you. I think you should do the same. 'Cause I don't see this working any other way.
[He leaves. River pokes her head in again.]
River: Also... I can kill you with my brain.
Jayne: [mumbling] Is [s]pine okay?
Simon: How much did they offer you to sell out me and River on Ariel?
Jayne: [mumbling] Das crazy talk.
Simon: Then let's talk crazy. How much?
[Jayne's eyes move toward the door.]
Jayne: [mumbling] Anybody there?
[River pokes her head in.]
Jayne: [mumbling] Anybody else?
. . .
[Simon continues to work on Jayne as he talks.]
Simon: No matter what you do, or say or plot, no matter how you come down on us… I will never, ever harm you. You're on this table, you're safe. 'Cause I'm your medic, and however little we may like or trust each other, we're on the same crew. Got the same troubles, same enemies, and more than enough of both. Now, we could circle each other and growl, sleep with one eye open, but that thought wearies me. I don't care what you've done, I don't know what you're planning on doing, but I'm trusting you. I think you should do the same. 'Cause I don't see this working any other way.
[He leaves. River pokes her head in again.]
River: Also... I can kill you with my brain.
TV Show: Firefly
[Return to the desert we saw at the beginning of the episode, with Mal sitting naked on the rock.]
Mal: Yeah. That went well.
[Inara walks up behind him.]
Inara: You call this going well?
Mal: We got the loot, didn't we?
Inara: Yes, but—
Mal: Then I call this a win. What's the problem?
Inara: Shall I start with the part where you're stranded in the middle of nowhere, or the part where you have no clothes?
Mal: Yeah. That went well.
[Inara walks up behind him.]
Inara: You call this going well?
Mal: We got the loot, didn't we?
Inara: Yes, but—
Mal: Then I call this a win. What's the problem?
Inara: Shall I start with the part where you're stranded in the middle of nowhere, or the part where you have no clothes?
TV Show: Firefly
[Simon and Kaylee check out the "proof of alien life" exhibit: an inert creature in a cylindrical jar.]
Simon: Yep—it's a cow fetus.
Kaylee: Guess so. It does seem to have an awful lot of limbs.
Simon: It's mutated.
Kaylee: But cow? How do you figure?
Simon: It's upside down.
[Kaylee tilts her head to the side.]
Kaylee: Oh yeah. Cow.
Simon: And I'm out twelve bits! I really know how to show a girl a... disgusting time.
. . .
[Simon watches as Kaylee storms off. Zoe and Wash enter the exhibit.]
Wash: Oh my god, it's grotesque! Oh, and there's something in a jar.
Zoe: Scared her away again, did you?
Simon: D— This may come as a shock, but I'm actually… not very good at talking to girls.
Zoe: Why, is there someone you are good at talking to?
[Wash stares into the "face" of the "alien".]
Wash: [Speaking loudly, slowly, and enunciating clearly] Do not fear me! Ours is a peaceful race, and we must live in harmony.
Simon: Yep—it's a cow fetus.
Kaylee: Guess so. It does seem to have an awful lot of limbs.
Simon: It's mutated.
Kaylee: But cow? How do you figure?
Simon: It's upside down.
[Kaylee tilts her head to the side.]
Kaylee: Oh yeah. Cow.
Simon: And I'm out twelve bits! I really know how to show a girl a... disgusting time.
. . .
[Simon watches as Kaylee storms off. Zoe and Wash enter the exhibit.]
Wash: Oh my god, it's grotesque! Oh, and there's something in a jar.
Zoe: Scared her away again, did you?
Simon: D— This may come as a shock, but I'm actually… not very good at talking to girls.
Zoe: Why, is there someone you are good at talking to?
[Wash stares into the "face" of the "alien".]
Wash: [Speaking loudly, slowly, and enunciating clearly] Do not fear me! Ours is a peaceful race, and we must live in harmony.
TV Show: Firefly
[River unsuccessfully tries to eat a spherical treat that bobs from a string.]
River: My food is problematic.
Jayne: Girl's a mind-readin' genius, can't even figure out how to eat an ice planet.
River: My food is problematic.
Jayne: Girl's a mind-readin' genius, can't even figure out how to eat an ice planet.
TV Show: Firefly
Jayne: I got post?
Book: Might we all want to step a few paces back before he opens that?
Jayne: Ha ha! It's from my mother.
[Inara and Kaylee catch up to the post-office crowd.]
Inara: So, do aliens live among us?
Kaylee: Yeah. One of them's a doctor.
Book: Might we all want to step a few paces back before he opens that?
Jayne: Ha ha! It's from my mother.
[Inara and Kaylee catch up to the post-office crowd.]
Inara: So, do aliens live among us?
Kaylee: Yeah. One of them's a doctor.
TV Show: Firefly
[Jayne proudly wears his mother's colorful home-knit cap.]
Jayne: How's it sit? Pretty cunning, don't you think?
Kaylee: I think it's the sweetest hat ever.
Wash: A man walks down the street in that hat, people know he's not afraid of anything.
Jayne: Damn straight!
. . .
[Zoe and Mal open a coffin-sized box to find a body. Jayne peers in.]
Jayne: What'd y'all order a dead guy for?
Jayne: How's it sit? Pretty cunning, don't you think?
Kaylee: I think it's the sweetest hat ever.
Wash: A man walks down the street in that hat, people know he's not afraid of anything.
Jayne: Damn straight!
. . .
[Zoe and Mal open a coffin-sized box to find a body. Jayne peers in.]
Jayne: What'd y'all order a dead guy for?
TV Show: Firefly