Firefly Quotes

[Nandi's girl Chari reports to Rance Burgess on Mal's defensive preparations.]
Rance: Earned yourself quite a bag of silver, little kitten. But I got a… few more chores in mind before you get any.
Chari: I'm ready.
[He turns to speak to his men.]
Rance: Now, Chari here, she understands a whore's place, don't she? But Nandi, and those others, they spit on our town! They've no respect for the sanctity of fatherhood, or... decency, or family! They have my child held hostage to their decadent ways, and that I will not abide. We will show them what power is! We will show them what their position in this town is! Let us all remember, right here and now, what a woman is to a man!
[He turns back to Chari, who stands facing him.]
Rance: [whispering intensely]Get on your knees!

TV Show: Firefly
Inara: So you took to bed with Nandi. I'm glad.
Mal: Glad?
Inara: Yes! She's a dear friend, and probably in need of some comfort about now.
. . .
Mal: So, you're okay. Well, yeah. Why… why wouldn't you be?
Inara: I wouldn't say I'm entirely okay. I'm a little appalled at her taste.
[Cut later to a shot of Inara crying in her room]

TV Show: Firefly
Kaylee: Cap'n seem a little... funny to you at breakfast this morning?
Wash: Come on, Kaylee. We all know I'm the funny one.

TV Show: Firefly
Book: Girls, nobody's going to die!
[Cut to Jayne.]
Jayne: There's people gonna die.

TV Show: Firefly
Jayne: [over radio] Whoa, now, girl, that is just plain dirty.
Mal: Jayne, you aware your radio's transmittin'? Cause I ain't feelin' particular girlish or dirty at the moment.

TV Show: Firefly
Jayne: Mal! Looks like we got some imminent violence!

TV Show: Firefly
[Rance is on his knees before Petaline, who holds her infant son.]
Petaline: Rance, this is Jonah. Jonah... say "hi" to your daddy.
[She shoots Rance.]
Petaline: Say "goodbye" to your daddy, Jonah.

TV Show: Firefly
Kaylee: You couldn't possibly!
Simon: No, I wish I was lying, I just...You know, we'd all just made surgeon. That was it, we were the elite. The world was ours, you know?
Kaylee: So you had to be naked?
Simon: Naked. Yes. And, uh, on top of the statue of Hippocrates. (they laugh) Can't you just picture me?
Kaylee: What, naked? Oh, well, hmm, mmm...Let's see, I'mma have to conjure up a...yeah, that's, that's gonna be difficult...(laughs and pokes him in the cheek with her foot) So did the feds come?
Simon: There were no feds. (grins) Until I started singing.
Kaylee: Oh, no! (cracks up)
Simon: This is not--
Kaylee: What did you sing?
Simon: This is not funny. This, this is a morality tale about the evils of sake.
(they laugh, then turn and look at River)
Simon (in River's head): I would be there right now.
(back to reality, Simon and Kaylee are still laughing, having not really noticed River)
Simon: I really miss...It was, it was either that or the national anthem. I, reports vary...
Kaylee: You don't remember any of this?
Simon: I remember talking the feds out of telling my father. Or, or paying the feds out of telling my father. I get fuzzy on the aspect...
...
Jayne: So like, never?
Book: Well, no.
Jayne: Not ever ever?
Book: Some orders allow shepherds to marry, but I follow a narrower path.
Jayne: But you still got the urge? They don't...cut it off or nothin'?
Book: No, I'm more or less intact. I just...direct my energy elsewhere.
Jayne: You mean like masturbatin'?
Book: I hope you're not thinking of taking orders yourself?
Jayne: Heheh, yeah, that's be the day.

TV Show: Firefly
Mal: If I want a lot of medical jargon, I'll talk to a doctor.
Simon: You are talking to a doctor.

TV Show: Firefly
Wash: Little River gets more colorful by the moment. What'll she do next?
Zoe: Either blow us all up or rub soup in our hair. It's a toss-up.
Wash: I hope she does the soup thing, it's always a hoot and we don't all die from it.

TV Show: Firefly
Zoë: Where's River at now?
Mal: In her room, which I'm thinking we bolt from the outside from now on.
Wash: That a little extreme, isn't it?
Jayne: Anyone remember her comin' at me with a butcher's knife?
Wash: [reminiscently] Wacky fun…
Jayne: You wanna go, little man?
Wash: Only if it's someplace with candlelight.
Zoe: Sir, I know she's unpredictable. But I don't think she'd harm anyone.
Jayne: Butcher's knife?!
Zoe: Anyone we can't spare.

TV Show: Firefly
Mal: Girl knows things. Things she shouldn't. Things she couldn't.
Jayne: What, are you— are you sayin' she's a witch?
Wash: [sarcastically] Yes, Jayne. She's a witch. She has had congress with the beast.
Jayne: She's in Congress?
Wash: How did your brain even learn human speech? I'm just so curious.
. . .
Wash: Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction.
Zoe: We live in a spaceship, dear.
Wash: So?
. . .
Jayne: Well… I don't like the idea of someone hearin' what I'm thinkin'.
Inara: No one likes the idea of hearing what you're thinking.
Book: The Alliance could have any number of uses for a psychic.
Zoe: A psychic… or an assassin.
Simon: She's just a kid! And she just wants to be a... kid.
Mal: I wish it were that simple.
Jayne: Yeah, and if wishes were horses, we'd all be eatin' steak.

TV Show: Firefly
[Kaylee hears something and crawls out from under engine.]
Kaylee: River? ...River? [startled by Early] Wah!
Early: I like this ship... Serenity... she's good looking.
Kaylee: [stuttering] Ha-how how did you... g-get on—
Early: Strains the mind a bit don'it? You think you're all alone... maybe I come down the chimney, Kaylee, bring presents to the good girls and boys. Maybe not, though. Maybe I've always been here.
Kaylee: What do you want?
Early: [looks at engine] That's a beating heart isn't it? Pull off any one of a thousand parts she'll just die. Such a slender thread... [coldly] You ever been raped?
Kaylee: [almost in tears] Th-the captain is right down the hall-hallway- He... c-can... hear you—
Early: The captain is locked in his quarters. They all are. There's nobody can help you... Say it.
Kaylee: [breathlessly, a tear starting down her right cheek] There's... there's nobody can help me.
Early: I'm gonna tie you up now—
Kaylee: [whimpers]
Early: And you know what I'm gonna do then? I'm gonna give you a present. Get rid of a problem you've got. And I won't touch you in any wrong fashion, nor hurt you at all, unless you make some kind of ruckus. You throw a monkey wrench into my dealings in any way, your body is forfeit. Ain't nothing but a body to me and I can find all unseemly manner of use for it. Do you understand?
Kaylee: [holding back tears] Yes.
Early: Turn around and put your hands behind yer back.
Kaylee: Oh ughhhh... [moans, but does as she's told.]
Early: [From behind her as he ties her up] Now tell me Kaylee, where does River sleep?

TV Show: Firefly
[The mysterious intruder holds Simon at gunpoint.]
Simon: Are you Alliance?
Early: Am I a lion?
Simon: What?
Early: I don't think of myself as a lion. You might as well, though: I have a mighty roar.
Simon: I said "Alliance".
Early: Oh, I thought—
Simon: No, I was—
Early: That's weird.

TV Show: Firefly
Simon: So you're a bounty hunter.
Early: No, that ain't it at all.
Simon: Then what are you?
Early: I'm a bounty hunter.

TV Show: Firefly
Simon: You're outta your mind.
Early: That's between me and my mind.

TV Show: Firefly
Early: You ever been shot?
Simon: No.
Early: You oughta be shot. Or stabbed. Lose a leg. To be a surgeon, you know? Know what kind of pain you're dealing with. They make psychiatrists get psychoanalyzed before they can get certified, but they don't make a surgeon get cut on. That seem right to you?

TV Show: Firefly
Early: Man is stronger by far than woman, yet only woman can create a child—does that seem right to you?

TV Show: Firefly
Early: Alright, that's all the hide-and-seek I got time for. [shouting] I know you're on this ship, little girl! Here's how this goes: show yourself and finish this exchange, or your brother's brains'll be flyin' every whichaway! [normal tone] You understand, I'm sort of on the clock here, it's a little frustrating.
River: [over Serenity's intercom] You're wrong, Early.
Early: I'm not wrong, dumpling, I will shoot your brother dead if you don't—
River: Wrong about River. River's not on the ship. They didn't want her here. But she couldn't make herself leave. So she melted. Melted away. They didn't know she could do that. But she did.
Early: Not sure I take your meaning there.
River: I'm not on the ship. I'm in the ship. I am the ship.
Simon: River—
River: River's gone.
Early: Then who exactly are we talking to?
River: Talking to Serenity. And Early? Serenity is very unhappy.

TV Show: Firefly
Early: Where'd she go?
Simon: I can't keep track of her when she's not incorporeally possessing a spaceship; don't look at me.
. . .
Early: I only hurt people 'cause they keep gettin' in the way of me finding you. [points his gun at Simon] Tell her.
Simon: What am I, your w: advocate?
Early: You are, starting now.
Simon: [deadpan] He's really very… gentle, and fuzzy. We're becoming fast friends.
[River/Serenity giggles.]
Early: You folks are all insane.
Simon: Well… my sister's a ship. We had a complicated childhood.

TV Show: Firefly
Early: You know, with the exception of one deadly and unpredictable midget, this girl is the smallest cargo I've ever had to transport, yet by far the most troublesome. Does that seem right to you?
Simon: What'd he do?
Early: Who?
Simon: The midget.
Early: Arson. The little man loved fire.

TV Show: Firefly
Early: You gonna be smart here, River? ...River? ...Serenity?

TV Show: Firefly
Mal: Ugh. What the hell's goin' on here?
River/Serenity: I need you to do me a favor, captain.
Mal: There was a guy. He was very blurry. You gotta be careful. Ugh. How come there's a guy on board and how come you're all of a sudden the ship?
River/Serenity: I know you have questions.
Mal: That would be why I just asked them.
River/Serenity: But there isn't a lot of time, captain. I need you to trust me.
Mal: Am I dreamin'?
River/Serenity: We all are.
(Mal rolls his eyes)
River/Serenity: Don't make faces.

TV Show: Firefly
Early: Well I'll be a son of a whore. You're not in my gorram mind. You're on my gorram ship!

TV Show: Firefly
River: I don't belong… dangerous, like you. Can't be controlled, can't be trusted. Everyone could just go on without me and not have to worry. People could be what they wanted to be… could be with the people they wanted… could live simple, no secrets.
Simon: No.
River: I'll be fine. I'll be your bounty, Jubal Early, and I'll just fade away.

TV Show: Firefly
Early: [outside Serenity in a space suit] You made the right move, darlin'. Best for you to go with old Early.
Mal: [appears behind him] You think so? Some of us feel differently.

TV Show: Firefly
River: Permission to come aboard?
Mal: You know, you ain't quite right.
River: [smiles] That's the popular theory.
Mal: Go on, get in there. Give your brother a thrashin' for messin' up your plan.
River: [tiredly] He takes so much looking after.

TV Show: Firefly
Wash: Can I mop your brow? I am at the ready with the fearsome brow mop.

TV Show: Firefly
Inara: Any chance that shiong-mung duh kwong-run might survive?
Mal: Air he had left, I'd say his chance'd be about one in… a very large number.

TV Show: Firefly
[Early is floating in space.]
Early: Well, here I am.

TV Show: Firefly