Drawn Together Quotes
Clara: Gosh, my roommates always hated me, and now they think I'm some kind of saint.
Foxxy: Clara, for the first time ever, I am proud to be your friend. This makes up for all them cracks about my breasteses lactatin' chocolate milk.
Nestlé Quik Rabbit: No chocolate milk? Then what the hell have I been sucking on?
Foxxy: Clara, for the first time ever, I am proud to be your friend. This makes up for all them cracks about my breasteses lactatin' chocolate milk.
Nestlé Quik Rabbit: No chocolate milk? Then what the hell have I been sucking on?
TV Show: Drawn Together
Clara: Taking orders from a black girl?! Who does she think I am, Thomas Jefferson's penis?
Wooldoor: Oh, that's Ling-Ling who is throwing his Shuriken Stars on me (Ling-Ling threw his ninja star on Wooldoor)
Wooldoor: Oh, that's Ling-Ling who is throwing his Shuriken Stars on me (Ling-Ling threw his ninja star on Wooldoor)
TV Show: Drawn Together
After Wooldoor nearly drowns, Foxxy gives him CPR, and her golden teeth fell out.
Foxxy: [In a polite English accent] Capital! Thank goodness I'm certified in Cardiopulmonary Resucitation. [She puts the teeth back in and reverts to her normal style] Mouth to mouth, y'all!
Foxxy: [In a polite English accent] Capital! Thank goodness I'm certified in Cardiopulmonary Resucitation. [She puts the teeth back in and reverts to her normal style] Mouth to mouth, y'all!
TV Show: Drawn Together
Wooldoor: Clara, you've gone crazy! You're poisoning me!
Clara: Oh, Wooldoor, you don't mean that. That's just the poison I'm using to poison you with talking.
Clara: Oh, Wooldoor, you don't mean that. That's just the poison I'm using to poison you with talking.
TV Show: Drawn Together
Xandir: How could you possibly have a son? You said you had your balls removed.
Captain Hero: No, I said I had my ball-SACK removed. Besides, I always pull out!
Xandir: Eww... that's not a foolproof method. [Xandir is in the confessional holding a baby] Right, Craig?
Captain Hero: No, I said I had my ball-SACK removed. Besides, I always pull out!
Xandir: Eww... that's not a foolproof method. [Xandir is in the confessional holding a baby] Right, Craig?
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Captain She-Ro: Hello?
Captain Hero: Pardon me, sir, but did you buy some Zebulonian sperm and give birth to a giant stupidhead?
Captain She-Ro: Who wants to know?
Captain Hero: I do, for I am the donor. My name is Captain Hero.
Captain She-Ro: Captain Hero? Oh no!
Captain Hero: Oh no, what?
Captain She-Ro: I am your... sister.
Xandir: Of course she is.
Captain Hero: Pardon me, sir, but did you buy some Zebulonian sperm and give birth to a giant stupidhead?
Captain She-Ro: Who wants to know?
Captain Hero: I do, for I am the donor. My name is Captain Hero.
Captain She-Ro: Captain Hero? Oh no!
Captain Hero: Oh no, what?
Captain She-Ro: I am your... sister.
Xandir: Of course she is.
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Clara: [to Wooldoor] You are so lucky to have someone like me stabbing you with a rusty screwdriver like this.
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Bill Cosby: Without the pudding, I'm just another unemployed sexual predator.
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Clara: Foxxy, look out in the hallway! It's another Denzel Washington! With two penises!
Foxxy: Double-dong Denzel!
Foxxy: Double-dong Denzel!
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Captain She-Ro: So, then I moved to Earth to be closer to Trader Joe's, I turned 35 and desperately wanted a baby. Anywho, when I discovered the clinic actually had Zebulonian sperm, I was tickled pink! But who would've thought the he-honkers I snorted up my crotch nostril were from my brother?
TV Show: Drawn Together
Capt. Hero: Oh, Wooly Bully & I spent another fun-filled day at The Museum Of Tolerance. Every time we go it reminds us that the world's a tolerant place where nothing ever goes wrong.
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Capt. Hero: Erehw ecalp tnarelot a s'dlrow eht taht su sdnimer ti og ew emit yreve. Ecnarelot Fo Muesum Eht ta yad dellif-nuf rehtona tneps I & Yllub Yloow, ho. We've been robbed!
Museum of Tolerance worker: It was Probably the blacks or the Mexicans.
Museum of Tolerance worker: It was Probably the blacks or the Mexicans.
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Wooldoor: Ever wonder why African-American black men are so attracted to large posteriors? Good day. I am Professor Wooldoor Sockbat, here to explain this completely racist phenomenon.
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Wooldoor: For centuries, natives found large, roaming badonkadonks to be safe havens from the dangers of the wild.
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Wooldoor: Their love of huge asses has been written into their genetic code. Even they don't know why... they just know. See you next time when we explore why Jews have big noses! Is it because air is free?
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Bambi: Just give us a fighting chance, Mr. Hero. Maybe Mommy would've lived.
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Judge Fudge: I don't have time to rule on your motion. I'm far too busy... being delicious.
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Bambi: I'm not saying you need to stop hunting...
Capt. Hero: Bitchin'! [aims a sniper rifle at Bambi]
Bambi: ...but using assault rifles and armor-piercing bullets is just not fair.
Capt. Hero: Bitchin'! [aims a sniper rifle at Bambi]
Bambi: ...but using assault rifles and armor-piercing bullets is just not fair.
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Captain Hero: Hey ladies? What does Captain Hero and Lance Armstrong's left testicle have in common? We are both single! ...And we're sensitive to cold.
A cold breeze goes by and Captain Hero's head shrinks
A cold breeze goes by and Captain Hero's head shrinks
TV Show: Drawn Together
Clara: Oh, really how do you explain this.
[Phone line disconnected]
Clara: The phone wasn't even plugged in. WWHHOOOOOOOOO!
Foxxy: Uh, Clara is that Kirk Cameron hiding behind that plant.
[Camera shows Kirk Cameron hiding behind a house-plant]
Clara: Kirk Your busted! Run!
Krik Cameron: To learn more visit my website wayofthemaster.com
[Kirk Cameron jumps out of the window]
[Phone line disconnected]
Clara: The phone wasn't even plugged in. WWHHOOOOOOOOO!
Foxxy: Uh, Clara is that Kirk Cameron hiding behind that plant.
[Camera shows Kirk Cameron hiding behind a house-plant]
Clara: Kirk Your busted! Run!
Krik Cameron: To learn more visit my website wayofthemaster.com
[Kirk Cameron jumps out of the window]
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[Wooldoor opening the van door]
Wooldoor: Ach du lieber Augustin! [continues by using his dummy] We can't get out this way either!
Wooldoor: Ach du lieber Augustin! [continues by using his dummy] We can't get out this way either!
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Captain Hero: You're all going to die! This van just got a whole lot sexier...
TV Show: Drawn Together