Drake and Josh Quotes

Megan: Excuse me? I think the captain made a mistake. This plane is going to Denver, right?
Attendant: No, we're in route to Los Angeles.
Megan: Los Angeles?
Attendant: Yes.
Megan: ...Not Denver?
Attendant: No.
Megan: ...Those dumb boobs.
[The flight attendant looks down her shirt in confusion]

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Drake: Okay, let's go and get Megan!
Josh: Okay, but first...
Drake: What?
Josh: I gotta pee really bad.
Drake: Well, can't you hold it?
Josh: Yeah, I... [strained] No!

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Josh: I can't believe we're on the run in a stolen vehicle!
Drake: Look, it's not stolen! We just borrowed it.
Josh: STOLEN!

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Judge: But! I have a but(butt)!
Drake: (Chuckle)He said he had a butt.
Josh: Shut up.

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Crazy Steve: The cow goes moo! I was trapped in a refrigerator! I take special vitamins!

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Little Boy: When is Santa going to be here?
Crazy Steve: Well, I don't know, but I'll bet you old Saint Nick's going to be here real soon.
Woman: Excuse me, I distinctly ordered a diet root beer, and this tastes like-
Crazy Steve: I AM TALKING TO CHILDREN!!!!

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Crazy Steve: HEY! WHAT'S UP, D AND J? GETTING READY FOR THE PARADE?
Drake: Yeah, positively.
Crazy Steve: OKAY, WELL I'M JUST REMINDING YOU GUYS THAT YOU NEED TO GIVE THESE KIDS THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER IF YOU WANNA STAY OUT OF JAIL!

TV Show: Drake and Josh
(after everyone is outside and having fun)
Drake: So?
Josh: So?
Drake: Yes or no? Is this the best Christmas you ever had?
Josh: It will be, after THIS! (throws snow at Drake)
Drake: I'm gonna get you, Nichols!
Josh: Bring it, Parker! (the two chase each other around)

TV Show: Drake and Josh
[repeated line]
Drake Parker, Josh Nichols: Megan!

TV Show: Drake and Josh
[repeated line]
Josh Nichols: And now I'm alone...

TV Show: Drake and Josh
[repeated line]
Josh Nichols: Headaches! You give me headaches!

TV Show: Drake and Josh
[repeated line]
Josh Nichols: Oh, jeez...

TV Show: Drake and Josh

Drake Parker: Do I get to wear that purdy apron?

TV Show: Drake and Josh

Mr. Nichols: Sure Josh knows basketball, I taught him myself.
Mr. Nichols: [shows off with basketball]
Mr. Nichols: [throws ball at Drake] Think fast! [ball misses and hits a lamp]
Drake Parker: Lamps don't think that fast.

TV Show: Drake and Josh

Josh Nichols: [Josh is trying to study while Drake is playing a loud video game] Drake, the volume!
Drake Parker: Oh, right. [Drake gets the remote and turns it louder]

TV Show: Drake and Josh

Josh Nichols: [Looking through an emergency kit] We have a quarter, a can of salmon, open, an ice tray, and half a shoe.

TV Show: Drake and Josh

Josh Nichols: [with accent] I kissed your wife.

TV Show: Drake and Josh

Josh Nichols: Mom and Dad are gonna kill us!
Drake Parker: No they won't... they are gonna kill you.

TV Show: Drake and Josh

Megan Parker: Why is Josh screaming? Have the eggs hatched?

TV Show: Drake and Josh