Cheers Quotes
Woody: You're wrong Kelly. He's using you. He wrote that letter himself. He's not going to be deported. He's just trying to steal you away from me.
Henri: How did you figure that out?
Woody: You mean I'm right? Wow. Score one for the Indiana school system.
Henri: How did you figure that out?
Woody: You mean I'm right? Wow. Score one for the Indiana school system.
TV Show: Cheers
Carla: You've been with thousands of women over the years, right?
Sam: Yeah right.
Carla: How many cards do you get on Father's Day?
Sam: That doesn't mean anything.
Carla: Sammy sooner or later you're gonna have to face the possibility that whether you like it or not you might just possibly have a low sperm count.
Sam: You're fired!
Sam: Yeah right.
Carla: How many cards do you get on Father's Day?
Sam: That doesn't mean anything.
Carla: Sammy sooner or later you're gonna have to face the possibility that whether you like it or not you might just possibly have a low sperm count.
Sam: You're fired!
TV Show: Cheers
Paul: Where's Norm and Cliff?
Woody: I guess they're at work. I don't know.
Paul: You've got a cute sense of humor, Woody. I like that.
Woody: I guess they're at work. I don't know.
Paul: You've got a cute sense of humor, Woody. I like that.
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Sam: Hey sweetheart, what do you think? If it's a boy we name it Sam.
Rebecca: Oh I don't know. You know I always thought that naming a child after yourself was saying you wanted them to grow up just like you, like the things you like, to act the way you do.
Sam: Okay, Sam it is.
Rebecca: Oh I don't know. You know I always thought that naming a child after yourself was saying you wanted them to grow up just like you, like the things you like, to act the way you do.
Sam: Okay, Sam it is.
TV Show: Cheers
Frasier: I sense the mood of the bar. You're all suffering from the winter blues; the shortened daylight hours, the cold numbing weather, the bleak sense of isolation. It's what we in the psychiatric professions call, the jackpot.
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Rebecca: You know when I was a kid I was the first one in my class to, you know, develop breasts. They teased me the whole year.
Norm: Oh yeah? Me too.
Norm: Oh yeah? Me too.
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Rebecca: Who's birthday? One of your kids?
Carla: Yeah right, you see a file in it? Today happens to be Elvis Presley's birthday.
Norm: Celebrating the birthday of a dead guy. That's kind of ghoulish, isn't it? I don't know how you could stomach something like that.
Carla: It's double mocha chocolate fudge.
Norm: Long live the king.
Carla: Yeah right, you see a file in it? Today happens to be Elvis Presley's birthday.
Norm: Celebrating the birthday of a dead guy. That's kind of ghoulish, isn't it? I don't know how you could stomach something like that.
Carla: It's double mocha chocolate fudge.
Norm: Long live the king.
TV Show: Cheers
Blood Worker: Excuse me miss, I've been sent to collect some specimens.
Carla: They're sitting over there on the other side of the bar.
Carla: They're sitting over there on the other side of the bar.
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Sam: Carla, good news. I've given a lot of thought and I decided to offer my employees a group medical plan.
Carla: Oh man, that's great Sammy. What changed your mind?
Sam: It's the right thing to do. You guys need it. You deserve it. It's important to you. Plus they passed some kind of law.
Carla: Oh man, that's great Sammy. What changed your mind?
Sam: It's the right thing to do. You guys need it. You deserve it. It's important to you. Plus they passed some kind of law.
TV Show: Cheers
Frasier: Carla, you can't believe God has a personal vendetta against you.
Carla: Look at my kids. Look at my husbands. Look at my life. What do you think?
Carla: Look at my kids. Look at my husbands. Look at my life. What do you think?
TV Show: Cheers
Frasier: You know Carla never ceases to amaze me. She has a strange mixture of fervent religious faith and primitive superstition. I suppose it's part of our ever changing mixed up culture.
Lilith: I don't know that you should blame Carla's belief system on culture, Frasier. The need to worship high intelligence is an innate and universal phenomenon. In fact, in recent week it's become clear that my lab rats worship me as a goddess. I must confess I don't discourage them.
Frasier: Very interesting dear. Apropos of nothing, how many vacation days do you have coming?
Lilith: I don't know, 80, 85.
Frasier: What do you say we cash 50, 60 of those in and have you spend a little time with some people?
Lilith: I don't know that you should blame Carla's belief system on culture, Frasier. The need to worship high intelligence is an innate and universal phenomenon. In fact, in recent week it's become clear that my lab rats worship me as a goddess. I must confess I don't discourage them.
Frasier: Very interesting dear. Apropos of nothing, how many vacation days do you have coming?
Lilith: I don't know, 80, 85.
Frasier: What do you say we cash 50, 60 of those in and have you spend a little time with some people?
TV Show: Cheers
Frasier: Darling, are you going to be okay with this?
Lilith: Am I going to be okay with this? Let's see. Earlier today I discovered that my husband had an ex-wife he never told me about. Then I had the pleasure of watching him kiss said ex-wife in front of 1,000 children including his own. Then to top it all off, she hugged me. Can you deduce from my tone whether or not I'm going to be okay with this?
Frasier: Baby, you're the greatest.
Lilith: Am I going to be okay with this? Let's see. Earlier today I discovered that my husband had an ex-wife he never told me about. Then I had the pleasure of watching him kiss said ex-wife in front of 1,000 children including his own. Then to top it all off, she hugged me. Can you deduce from my tone whether or not I'm going to be okay with this?
Frasier: Baby, you're the greatest.
TV Show: Cheers
Carla: Hey Frase, I hear you used to be married to a children's singer. What's the matter? Burl Ives turn you down?
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Henderson: Do you have a Clavin here?
Carla: Yeah, but it hasn't been flushing right lately.
Carla: Yeah, but it hasn't been flushing right lately.
TV Show: Cheers
Rebecca: Oh Sam, he's so sweet. I don't want to hurt his feelings. What do you say when you break up with a woman?
Sam: I usually say, "I'll call you tomorrow."
Sam: I usually say, "I'll call you tomorrow."
TV Show: Cheers
John Hill: For the next three hours I need you and the rest of the Cheers' chimps to hold down the noise. Right now I'm entertaining 200 elderly women from the Daughters of the American Revolution.
Sam: Givin' ‘em a first-hand account, John?
John Hill: Very amusing. Sam, this vent connects directly to my dining room and often we can hear everything you say down here. So tell your mailman to go to that side of the bar if he wants to describe his fungal infections.
Norm: You know, I have to second that.
Sam: Givin' ‘em a first-hand account, John?
John Hill: Very amusing. Sam, this vent connects directly to my dining room and often we can hear everything you say down here. So tell your mailman to go to that side of the bar if he wants to describe his fungal infections.
Norm: You know, I have to second that.
TV Show: Cheers
Woody: Actually, I was the best poker player in the entire metro Hanover area.
Cliff: Well, uh, you're in the city now, Woody.
Woody: Well I guess you do play different than a bunch of farm boys.
Sam: Oh, yes we do. Why don't you sit down, Woodrow?
Woody: Oh, thanks. Take it easy on me.
Norm: OK. What sort of game would you like to play, huh?
Woody: Well, how ‘bout, uh... "Five blind piglets and one full teat"?
Norm: What the heck kind of game is that?
Woody: That's where five city boys lose all their money. [starts dealing one-handed]
Cliff: Well, uh, you're in the city now, Woody.
Woody: Well I guess you do play different than a bunch of farm boys.
Sam: Oh, yes we do. Why don't you sit down, Woodrow?
Woody: Oh, thanks. Take it easy on me.
Norm: OK. What sort of game would you like to play, huh?
Woody: Well, how ‘bout, uh... "Five blind piglets and one full teat"?
Norm: What the heck kind of game is that?
Woody: That's where five city boys lose all their money. [starts dealing one-handed]
TV Show: Cheers
Kelly: Woody, we've got to be going.
Woody: Right. [to Sam] If James has to circle the block more than once he has a hissy fit.
Kelly: Boy. Chauffeurs, huh, Miss Howe?
Rebecca: Oh, yeah. I have that trouble with mine all the time.
Kelly: Really? What do you do?
Rebecca: I wake up.
Woody: Right. [to Sam] If James has to circle the block more than once he has a hissy fit.
Kelly: Boy. Chauffeurs, huh, Miss Howe?
Rebecca: Oh, yeah. I have that trouble with mine all the time.
Kelly: Really? What do you do?
Rebecca: I wake up.
TV Show: Cheers
Frasier: Everyone, I have an announcement to make. You may not have noticed but over the last year I've allowed myself to gradually fall out of shape. I'm frequently tired and I find I no longer have the energy for some of my daily activities.
Lilith: Or some of your weekly ones.
Frasier: Which is why Richard here is going to put me on a strict exercise and diet regimen. Now you may ask, "Why is Frasier sharing this information with the general public?"
Carla: Because you're the loneliest man on earth.
Lilith: He has another reason.
Lilith: Or some of your weekly ones.
Frasier: Which is why Richard here is going to put me on a strict exercise and diet regimen. Now you may ask, "Why is Frasier sharing this information with the general public?"
Carla: Because you're the loneliest man on earth.
Lilith: He has another reason.
TV Show: Cheers
Frasier: [about his mother in law] I suppose it's wrong of me to blame Betty for all our problems. I'm sure I'm not the way she wants me to be either.
Woody: How does she want you to be, Dr. Crane?
Frasier: Well... dead. The thing that really drives me crazy is the unrelenting tension between Lilith and her mother. You know, Lilith just holds it all in. She has to unload it somewhere and guess who gets to listen to it endlessly.
Woody: Apparently me, Dr. Crane.
Woody: How does she want you to be, Dr. Crane?
Frasier: Well... dead. The thing that really drives me crazy is the unrelenting tension between Lilith and her mother. You know, Lilith just holds it all in. She has to unload it somewhere and guess who gets to listen to it endlessly.
Woody: Apparently me, Dr. Crane.
TV Show: Cheers
[Lilith is frustrated because her mother is controlling her]
Cliff: Still can't get your mother off your back, huh? It's very difficult for me to relate to.
Lilith: [sarcastically] Really?
Cliff: Oh, yeah. Ma and I don't have any problems. You know, in fact, most people find it's hard to tell that we're even related. Folks down at Club Med are very surprised when they find out we're mother and son... shocked even.
Cliff: Still can't get your mother off your back, huh? It's very difficult for me to relate to.
Lilith: [sarcastically] Really?
Cliff: Oh, yeah. Ma and I don't have any problems. You know, in fact, most people find it's hard to tell that we're even related. Folks down at Club Med are very surprised when they find out we're mother and son... shocked even.
TV Show: Cheers
Carla: I think you're gonna be surprised, ‘cause Sam's gonna make this team. Right guys?
Norm: Right, of course, he's Mayday Malone.
Cliff: Yeah, but hold on there, Norm, what if he doesn't? Have you thought about that? A thing like that can really hit a guy hard. He'll probably storm back in here, go in the office, lock himself in, and maybe start taking inventory of his life. Peruse over the setbacks, the humiliations, the wrong turns, and all the while fashioning his belt into a makeshift noose. I mean we've all done it a hundred times.
Frasier: You okay, Cliff?
Cliff: What are you asking me for, Sam's the one with the problem.
Norm: Right, of course, he's Mayday Malone.
Cliff: Yeah, but hold on there, Norm, what if he doesn't? Have you thought about that? A thing like that can really hit a guy hard. He'll probably storm back in here, go in the office, lock himself in, and maybe start taking inventory of his life. Peruse over the setbacks, the humiliations, the wrong turns, and all the while fashioning his belt into a makeshift noose. I mean we've all done it a hundred times.
Frasier: You okay, Cliff?
Cliff: What are you asking me for, Sam's the one with the problem.
TV Show: Cheers
Woody: You know Dr. Crane, once back in Hanover I wanted to catch some rats and I started to play a flute and a bunch of them followed me out of town...and some children too. Oh wait, was that a movie? No, it happened.
TV Show: Cheers
Rebecca: 18 years old and ready to take on the world.
Woody: Wait a minute. You were 18 when you graduated from high school? What, did daddy pull some strings?
Woody: Wait a minute. You were 18 when you graduated from high school? What, did daddy pull some strings?
TV Show: Cheers
Rebecca: Fine. I'm going to show people who are a little less self-absorbed. Hey, everyone! Look at me! Look at me!
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Cliff: I'm Cliff Clavin from Boston, I wrote tonight's monologue.
Lady: Oh, so you know Johnny?
Cliff: Does anyone really know Johnny?
Lady: Oh, so you know Johnny?
Cliff: Does anyone really know Johnny?
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Cliff: [on Johnny Carson's stage] Heeeeeere's Cliffy!
[Johnny Carson walks out on stage towards Cliff]
Johnny: Feels pretty good, doesn't it?
Cliff: Yeah.
Johnny: Now get the hell of my stage before I call security.
[Johnny Carson walks out on stage towards Cliff]
Johnny: Feels pretty good, doesn't it?
Cliff: Yeah.
Johnny: Now get the hell of my stage before I call security.
TV Show: Cheers
Monika: Are you with the groom's family?
Sam: I'm the best man.
Monika: I'd enjoy being the judge of that.
Sam: I'm the best man.
Monika: I'd enjoy being the judge of that.
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: [To Rebecca, after he learns she burned down the bar] Of all the stupid things you've done in your useless life... this is your masterpiece.
TV Show: Cheers