Cheers Quotes
Norm: I can't go on with this any longer. I wanted to be your decorator so I pretended to be who I thought you wanted me to be but it's time I came out of the closet. I'm straight.
Robert: Impossible.
Norm: Ever since I was a little boy I've known that I prefer girls. But the point is I think you should judge people for what they do not for who they do.
Robert: Impossible.
Norm: Ever since I was a little boy I've known that I prefer girls. But the point is I think you should judge people for what they do not for who they do.
TV Show: Cheers
Norm: [about their conversation] Yeah, why wasn't it the stupidest?
Frasier: Well frankly it lacks meaningless statistics and inane historical trivia. Say where is Cliff anyway?
Sam: Yeah, is he still in the hospital?
Norm: I don't know. How's he doin'?
Sam: I thought you were gonna go see him.
Norm: Well I tried. I mean I got as far as the hospital lobby but you know that smell of alcohol makes me really queasy. [motions for a beer refill]
Frasier: Well frankly it lacks meaningless statistics and inane historical trivia. Say where is Cliff anyway?
Sam: Yeah, is he still in the hospital?
Norm: I don't know. How's he doin'?
Sam: I thought you were gonna go see him.
Norm: Well I tried. I mean I got as far as the hospital lobby but you know that smell of alcohol makes me really queasy. [motions for a beer refill]
TV Show: Cheers
Rebecca: The Globe's doing an article on women who run pubs and now he wants to take my picture. I really dread this.
Sam: Why?
Rebecca: Because I get so tensed up in front of a camera. All of a sudden I look like something the cat coughed up.
Carla: Oooh, can I have an 8x10 for my mantlepiece?
Rebecca: How about a 2x4 for your bridgework?
Sam: Why?
Rebecca: Because I get so tensed up in front of a camera. All of a sudden I look like something the cat coughed up.
Carla: Oooh, can I have an 8x10 for my mantlepiece?
Rebecca: How about a 2x4 for your bridgework?
TV Show: Cheers
Rebecca: [about sky diving] I just think it's really exciting - the danger of drifting through space. You know, talk about a turn on.
Sam: Please do.
Sam: Please do.
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: Fellas it's late. You've had a few beers, you'll agree to anything.
Norm: Damn right, we will.
Norm: Damn right, we will.
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: I'm sittin' at a table in this restaurant with Judy and Laurie. The mother reaches over and grabs my knees and says "Sam, I want you." Then I feel the daughter reach over and grabs the other knee and she says "I want you too, Sammy."
Norm: Well yeah yeah.
Sam: Then I woke up. You know what this dream means don't you?
Norm: It means you even dream better than we do.
Norm: Well yeah yeah.
Sam: Then I woke up. You know what this dream means don't you?
Norm: It means you even dream better than we do.
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: Sweetheart, I've handled trickier situations than this before. Remember the time I dated those lovely Henshaw triplets all at the same time.
Carla: Sammy first of all, that was back when you were drinking like a fish, and second of all, that was one chick.
Carla: Sammy first of all, that was back when you were drinking like a fish, and second of all, that was one chick.
TV Show: Cheers
Carla: Woody, you don't know what you're getting yourself into. I mean, those guys at Gary's are vicious. They could strip you naked, paint you red, and put you on a subway.
Woody: They wouldn't do that.
Carla: They did it to me. But I got the best of them.
Norm: How's that?
Carla: [laughing] I loved it.
Woody: They wouldn't do that.
Carla: They did it to me. But I got the best of them.
Norm: How's that?
Carla: [laughing] I loved it.
TV Show: Cheers
Woody: Hey Mr. Peterson there's a cold one waitin' for ya.
Norm: I know, and if she calls I'm not here.
Norm: I know, and if she calls I'm not here.
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: Let me see here, Rebecca Howe all alone and scared in a big old house. Sounds to me like a job for Sammy's Security Company, we get in before the burglars do!
Carla: That's what I like about you Sam; your pants are always thinkin'.
Carla: That's what I like about you Sam; your pants are always thinkin'.
TV Show: Cheers
Rebecca: Sam, did you come out here because you were concerned I was scared? Or did you come out here to get me in the sack?
Sam: Hey I came out here because I was concerned and scared that I would never get you in the sack.
Sam: Hey I came out here because I was concerned and scared that I would never get you in the sack.
TV Show: Cheers
[Rebecca passionately kisses Norm]
Rebecca: I don't know what got into me. Please apologize to Vera.
Norm: Are you kidding? After that Vera should apologize to me.
Rebecca: I don't know what got into me. Please apologize to Vera.
Norm: Are you kidding? After that Vera should apologize to me.
TV Show: Cheers
Cliff: Was it my imagination or was that woman coming on to me?
Norm: Cliffie, Walt Disney should've had your imagination.
Norm: Cliffie, Walt Disney should've had your imagination.
TV Show: Cheers
Woody: Who wants to see a rich boy get his butt whooped?
Carla: Wait a minute, I can't leave. If you're gonna fight, go fight in the back. But remember, you've got to bus your own blood.
Carla: Wait a minute, I can't leave. If you're gonna fight, go fight in the back. But remember, you've got to bus your own blood.
TV Show: Cheers
Kelly: Oh hi. I hope I'm not too late. I heard my boyfriend was coming here to fight that nice bartender.
Carla: Fight? I've had sneezes that lasted longer.
Carla: Fight? I've had sneezes that lasted longer.
TV Show: Cheers
Cliff: It's sad to say that kids unaccepted by their peers really never learn how to get along with people in the big grown up world.
Norm: Why is that, Cliff? 'Cause they keep boring everyone an driving them crazy with long speeches filled with meaningless statistics?
Cliff: Yep! 63% of them live lives of quiet desperation.
Norm: How about those who sit next to them?
Norm: Why is that, Cliff? 'Cause they keep boring everyone an driving them crazy with long speeches filled with meaningless statistics?
Cliff: Yep! 63% of them live lives of quiet desperation.
Norm: How about those who sit next to them?
TV Show: Cheers
Cliff: You know any female that rides around with Sammy in the car ends up going straight to bed with him.
Rebecca: I've ridden in that car.
Norm: Right.
Rebecca: Well I didn't go to bed with him.
Norm: Right and they always deny it afterwards.
Rebecca: I've ridden in that car.
Norm: Right.
Rebecca: Well I didn't go to bed with him.
Norm: Right and they always deny it afterwards.
TV Show: Cheers
Cliff: As a business man you really have a lot to be desired. You know you haven't had a job in three months.
Norm: Cliff, you're absolutely right. I could do something about that or I can sit right here and feel sorry for myself and nurse this beer all day. Since I'm already here...
Norm: Cliff, you're absolutely right. I could do something about that or I can sit right here and feel sorry for myself and nurse this beer all day. Since I'm already here...
TV Show: Cheers
Rebecca: Well, everyone, you are looking at a winner.
Carla: You were the best kisser upper? Gee what does that trophy look like?
Carla: You were the best kisser upper? Gee what does that trophy look like?
TV Show: Cheers
[A pregnant Lilith enters the bar.]
Lilith: Lay your hands upon me everyone, I am life. I am mother. My man's seed is nourished within me. [To Sam] Touch my breasts, my friend, I am lactating.
Sam: Boy, I tell ya, this is kind of a first for me, uh, but I'm gonna pass.
Lilith: Lay your hands upon me everyone, I am life. I am mother. My man's seed is nourished within me. [To Sam] Touch my breasts, my friend, I am lactating.
Sam: Boy, I tell ya, this is kind of a first for me, uh, but I'm gonna pass.
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: What kind of problem should I make up?
Carla: Well how about this, I once took one of my kids to the school psychiatrist and he said the kid had kleptomania.
Norm: Anything come of it?
Carla: Got a couple of pens and a leather appointment book.
Norm: Or you could try using my problem. I've always had this terrible fear of being a failure.
Carla: You are a failure.
Norm: Then I've licked it.
Carla: Well how about this, I once took one of my kids to the school psychiatrist and he said the kid had kleptomania.
Norm: Anything come of it?
Carla: Got a couple of pens and a leather appointment book.
Norm: Or you could try using my problem. I've always had this terrible fear of being a failure.
Carla: You are a failure.
Norm: Then I've licked it.
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: Answer the question, what do I have in my life that isn't women or sex?
Rebecca: Come on Sam, you're a passionate guy. I bet you have a lot of things you care deeply about.
Sam: Yeah, like what?
Rebecca: Sailing.
Sam: Babes on waves. See, the doctor was right. I'm a shallow guy.
Rebecca: Come on Sam, you're a passionate guy. I bet you have a lot of things you care deeply about.
Sam: Yeah, like what?
Rebecca: Sailing.
Sam: Babes on waves. See, the doctor was right. I'm a shallow guy.
TV Show: Cheers
Lilith: There are two approaches a woman can take in turning her looks to her advantage. The first is to play upon the male sexual drive and turn yourself into an object of desire. I have opted for the second.
Rebecca: What's that?
Lilith: Scaring them stupid.
Rebecca: What's that?
Lilith: Scaring them stupid.
TV Show: Cheers
Norm: For God's sake. Are you still going on about your stupid vegetable?
Cliff: It's not my vegetable, Norm. It belongs to the whole world.
Carla: Aren't you vegetable enough for the world?
Cliff: It's not my vegetable, Norm. It belongs to the whole world.
Carla: Aren't you vegetable enough for the world?
TV Show: Cheers
Rebecca: Robin, I need a one woman man.
Robin: And I am a one woman man. It's just that I'm still looking for the one woman.
Robin: And I am a one woman man. It's just that I'm still looking for the one woman.
TV Show: Cheers
Rebecca: Isn't Eddie sweet? Why can't more men send flowers?
Sam: I didn't know Mormons couldn't send flowers.
Rebecca: I said "more men", not Mormon.
Sam: I know they can't dance.
Norm: No Sam, that's the Amish.
Sam: Then why can't Mormons send flowers?
Rebecca: They can!! I just wish someone would send me some damn flowers!
Sam: So why does it have to be a Mormon?
Rebecca: Oh! [walks away]
Sam: Some people you just can't discuss religion with.
Sam: I didn't know Mormons couldn't send flowers.
Rebecca: I said "more men", not Mormon.
Sam: I know they can't dance.
Norm: No Sam, that's the Amish.
Sam: Then why can't Mormons send flowers?
Rebecca: They can!! I just wish someone would send me some damn flowers!
Sam: So why does it have to be a Mormon?
Rebecca: Oh! [walks away]
Sam: Some people you just can't discuss religion with.
TV Show: Cheers
Woody: What's goin' on, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: The flashing side of my gut that says "insert beer here."
Norm: The flashing side of my gut that says "insert beer here."
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: At this very moment, Rebecca Howe is in her house spending two hours getting into an outfit she's gonna spend two minutes getting out of.
Norm: What are you going to do about that sister?
Sam: Oh, I already made a phone call to postpone our date.
Cliff: You gonna take her out tomorrow night?
Sam: No, take her out in a couple of hours.
Norm: What are you going to do about that sister?
Sam: Oh, I already made a phone call to postpone our date.
Cliff: You gonna take her out tomorrow night?
Sam: No, take her out in a couple of hours.
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: Carla, you hate your sister, don't you?
Carla: Sure, why?
Sam: What would I have to do to get the two of you back together again?
Carla: Simple, Sam. Ask me to come down and identify her body.
Carla: Sure, why?
Sam: What would I have to do to get the two of you back together again?
Carla: Simple, Sam. Ask me to come down and identify her body.
TV Show: Cheers
Frasier: Why didn't you just bring Valerie with you?
Lawrence: Well you know she hates to travel. Besides we decided this was a perfect opportunity to test my theories about martial fidelity. And I'm glad to say that after 10 months of celibacy, I can how pronounce my principles sound.
Sam: After 10 months of celibacy I couldn't even pronounce my name.
Lawrence: Well you know she hates to travel. Besides we decided this was a perfect opportunity to test my theories about martial fidelity. And I'm glad to say that after 10 months of celibacy, I can how pronounce my principles sound.
Sam: After 10 months of celibacy I couldn't even pronounce my name.
TV Show: Cheers