Castle Quotes
[After Beckett discovers that Castle placed a bet with Esposito and Ryan over who would solve their murder first]
Castle: Listen, I'm sorry. I know it was wrong, I just-
Roselyn: Beckett, you are never gonna believe this.
Beckett: Oh, the bar on "unbelievable" is pretty high right now.
Roselyn: The vic's husband took out a three-million dollar life insurance policy on his wife last month.
Beckett: [to Castle] $100 on us.
Castle: Listen, I'm sorry. I know it was wrong, I just-
Roselyn: Beckett, you are never gonna believe this.
Beckett: Oh, the bar on "unbelievable" is pretty high right now.
Roselyn: The vic's husband took out a three-million dollar life insurance policy on his wife last month.
Beckett: [to Castle] $100 on us.
TV Show: Castle
[After Ryan and Esposito catch a break in their case]
Castle: I've got a bad feeling about this.
Beckett: Are we really rooting against solving a murder?
Castle: Well, I don't want to shave my head! Do you?
Beckett: Why would I shave my head?
Castle: You're in on the bet, aren't you?
Beckett: Yeah, but I didn't realize-
Castle: [imitates electric razor]
Castle: I've got a bad feeling about this.
Beckett: Are we really rooting against solving a murder?
Castle: Well, I don't want to shave my head! Do you?
Beckett: Why would I shave my head?
Castle: You're in on the bet, aren't you?
Beckett: Yeah, but I didn't realize-
Castle: [imitates electric razor]
TV Show: Castle
[A murder calls Castle away from an ad-hoc play rehearsal with his mother]
Alexis: Take me with you!
Castle: To a crime scene?
Alexis: It'd be educational. Please?
Castle: Find your own hiding place.
Alexis: Take me with you!
Castle: To a crime scene?
Alexis: It'd be educational. Please?
Castle: Find your own hiding place.
TV Show: Castle
Castle: You don't think Fletcher's telling Jerry the truth?
Beckett: That he's suddenly a con-man with a heart of gold? No. That's just another con.
Castle: Wait, you don't think people can change?
Beckett: No. I've seen too many repeat offenders to believe for one second that a guy who promises never to beat his wife again actually won't.
Castle: That's a pretty bleak attitude.
Beckett: Not bleak - realistic.
Beckett: That he's suddenly a con-man with a heart of gold? No. That's just another con.
Castle: Wait, you don't think people can change?
Beckett: No. I've seen too many repeat offenders to believe for one second that a guy who promises never to beat his wife again actually won't.
Castle: That's a pretty bleak attitude.
Beckett: Not bleak - realistic.
TV Show: Castle
Castle: [on CIA Agent Gray] This man is a machine. I've interviewed serial killers, hitmen. Agent Gray?
Beckett: Mm-hmm?
Castle: By far, the most dangerous man I've ever met. [looks around and whispers] He once killed a North Korean agent with a melonballer.
Agent Gray: [suddenly appearing behind them] It was an ice cream scoop, Castle. And that information was supposed to remain private.
Castle: Sorry.
Beckett: Mm-hmm?
Castle: By far, the most dangerous man I've ever met. [looks around and whispers] He once killed a North Korean agent with a melonballer.
Agent Gray: [suddenly appearing behind them] It was an ice cream scoop, Castle. And that information was supposed to remain private.
Castle: Sorry.
TV Show: Castle
Conman's fiance: He wasn't a con man. He was in the CIA.
Castle: [thrilled] Best case ever.
Beckett: [half-interrupting him] Shut up.
Castle: [thrilled] Best case ever.
Beckett: [half-interrupting him] Shut up.
TV Show: Castle
[Castle has arrived late to a crime scene]
Esposito: Yeah, it's too bad, too. Your kind of case, bro'.
Castle: Yeah?
Ryan: Yeah, body was found down that manhole over there. Half eaten.
Castle: Eaten?
Ryan: Yeah, it was covered in some kind of green slime.
Castle: Whoa...
Esposito: Yeah, it was creepy. It's as if someone or some thing is down there.
Castle: [Catching on] Ha, that's... okay. Very funny. Great. [To Beckett] Was there a body down the manhole?
Beckett: Yeah.
Castle: Okay, thank you. An adult.
Beckett: Yeah, you should have seen what else was down there. Two metal canisters with bio-hazard stickers and yellow powder inside of them.
Castle: You opened the... [the detectives smirk] Alright. Will someone please tell me what's really going on here?
Ryan: We're gonna check nearby trash cans for the murder weapon.
Castle: What was the murder weapon, by the way?
Ryan: Some kind of death ray.
Esposito: Turns your insides out.
Esposito: Yeah, it's too bad, too. Your kind of case, bro'.
Castle: Yeah?
Ryan: Yeah, body was found down that manhole over there. Half eaten.
Castle: Eaten?
Ryan: Yeah, it was covered in some kind of green slime.
Castle: Whoa...
Esposito: Yeah, it was creepy. It's as if someone or some thing is down there.
Castle: [Catching on] Ha, that's... okay. Very funny. Great. [To Beckett] Was there a body down the manhole?
Beckett: Yeah.
Castle: Okay, thank you. An adult.
Beckett: Yeah, you should have seen what else was down there. Two metal canisters with bio-hazard stickers and yellow powder inside of them.
Castle: You opened the... [the detectives smirk] Alright. Will someone please tell me what's really going on here?
Ryan: We're gonna check nearby trash cans for the murder weapon.
Castle: What was the murder weapon, by the way?
Ryan: Some kind of death ray.
Esposito: Turns your insides out.
TV Show: Castle
[Castle enters the room, dressed as Mal fromFirefly]
Alexis: Hey.
Castle: Hey... I was just trying on my Halloween costume.
Alexis: What exactly are you supposed to be?
Castle: Space cowboy.
Alexis: Okay. A: there are no cows in space. B: didn't you wear that, like, five years ago?
Castle: So?
Alexis: So, don't you think you should move on?
Castle: I like it.
Alexis: Hey.
Castle: Hey... I was just trying on my Halloween costume.
Alexis: What exactly are you supposed to be?
Castle: Space cowboy.
Alexis: Okay. A: there are no cows in space. B: didn't you wear that, like, five years ago?
Castle: So?
Alexis: So, don't you think you should move on?
Castle: I like it.
TV Show: Castle
Castle: [to Alexis] If any of those senior boys bother you... father won't be quite himself. [activates pumpkin drill, laughs maniacally, coughs]
TV Show: Castle
[Castle relates a traumatizing childhood experience that spurred him to become a mystery writer]
Castle: It must have just happened, because the tide hadn't washed away the blood. We had just played hide-and-go-seek the day before.
Beckett: What happened to him?
Castle: They never found out.
Beckett: I'm so sorry, Castle. [he smirks] ... you made that up?
Castle: It's what I do!
Beckett: You know what? You are so getting it for that one!
Castle: It must have just happened, because the tide hadn't washed away the blood. We had just played hide-and-go-seek the day before.
Beckett: What happened to him?
Castle: They never found out.
Beckett: I'm so sorry, Castle. [he smirks] ... you made that up?
Castle: It's what I do!
Beckett: You know what? You are so getting it for that one!
TV Show: Castle
[After a SWAT team breaks into an apartment]
Esposito: Where's Nidal Metar? Shakir Nidal Metar! Where is he?
Tenant: There's no Shakir Nidal Metar here! Only Sally Neidermeyer!
Beckett: Ma'am, did you send a package by bike courier this morning?
Tenant: Yes, I did!
Beckett: "S. Nidal Metar?" S. Neidermeyer! Some bozo at the courier company wrote the name wrong.
Castle: Our bad. Uh, we can -
Ryan: - Yeah, we can fix this.
Castle: [lifting the door] Sorry.
[They screw the door back into its frame]
Esposito: Where's Nidal Metar? Shakir Nidal Metar! Where is he?
Tenant: There's no Shakir Nidal Metar here! Only Sally Neidermeyer!
Beckett: Ma'am, did you send a package by bike courier this morning?
Tenant: Yes, I did!
Beckett: "S. Nidal Metar?" S. Neidermeyer! Some bozo at the courier company wrote the name wrong.
Castle: Our bad. Uh, we can -
Ryan: - Yeah, we can fix this.
Castle: [lifting the door] Sorry.
[They screw the door back into its frame]
TV Show: Castle
[as Det. Beckett speaks with the victim's sister]
Castle: How does she do that?
Montgomery: Better than anyone I know.
Castle: How does she do that?
Montgomery: Better than anyone I know.
TV Show: Castle
[M.E. Perlmutter eats his lunch on an examination table in the morgue]
Castle: Are you sure it's sanitary to be eating here?
Perlmutter: Do you know the strength of the disinfectants we use here? This is the cleanest room in the city. [offers his sandwich to Castle]
Castle: I couldn't.
Perlmutter: Homemade.
Castle: I couldn't.
Castle: Are you sure it's sanitary to be eating here?
Perlmutter: Do you know the strength of the disinfectants we use here? This is the cleanest room in the city. [offers his sandwich to Castle]
Castle: I couldn't.
Perlmutter: Homemade.
Castle: I couldn't.
TV Show: Castle
Jessup: [Regarding his handcuffs] Hey, you guys mind if I take these things off? I'm starting to feel like a stereotype riding around in the back of a police car wearing them.
Beckett: Sure. Do you want my key?
Jessup: Nah, I got it. Thanks. [Undoes his handcuffs]
Castle: How did you do that?
Jessup: I've always been good with locks. When I was in the joint, I was thinking how can I take this and make it more productive, you know? So, I've been applying for locksmith schools, but, you know, they won't let me in on account that I'm a felon. Can you believe that?
Beckett: A felon who wants to be a locksmith. What could possibly go wrong there?
Jessup: You don't have to be mean about it.
Castle: Yeah. Wow.
[Beckett glares, beat, Castle relocated to back seat with Jessup]
Beckett: Sure. Do you want my key?
Jessup: Nah, I got it. Thanks. [Undoes his handcuffs]
Castle: How did you do that?
Jessup: I've always been good with locks. When I was in the joint, I was thinking how can I take this and make it more productive, you know? So, I've been applying for locksmith schools, but, you know, they won't let me in on account that I'm a felon. Can you believe that?
Beckett: A felon who wants to be a locksmith. What could possibly go wrong there?
Jessup: You don't have to be mean about it.
Castle: Yeah. Wow.
[Beckett glares, beat, Castle relocated to back seat with Jessup]
TV Show: Castle
Castle[after seeing Alexis dressed maturely for work]: Did that ever happen to you with me? One day you look and see your boy all grown up?
Martha: I’m still waiting for that moment, actually.
Castle: ...I set you up for that, didn’t I?
Martha: I’m still waiting for that moment, actually.
Castle: ...I set you up for that, didn’t I?
TV Show: Castle
Castle[to Beckett]: That was pretty cool, the way you filled in the story there. I think I must be rubbing off on you... That sounded dirtier than I meant it.
TV Show: Castle
Martha: What if it doesn't work out? What if it does?
Castle: That's the cost of living.
Castle: That's the cost of living.
TV Show: Castle
Kira Blaine: Of all the murders, in all the cities, at all the weddings, and you walk into mine.
TV Show: Castle
[Beckett has discovered who killed her mother, only to have to shoot him to save Castle's life]
Beckett: It wasn't your fault, you know.
Castle: I overstepped. I came down here to say that I'm sorry... and that I'm through. I can't shadow you any more. If it wasn't for me --
Beckett: If it wasn't for you, I would never have found my mom's killer. And some day soon I'm gonna find the sons of bitches who had him kill her. And I'd like you around when I do. And if you tell anyone what I'm about to say there's gonna be another shooting, but... I've gotten used to you pulling my pigtails. I have a hard job, Castle, and having you around makes it a little more fun.
Castle: ...Your secret's safe with me.
Beckett: It wasn't your fault, you know.
Castle: I overstepped. I came down here to say that I'm sorry... and that I'm through. I can't shadow you any more. If it wasn't for me --
Beckett: If it wasn't for you, I would never have found my mom's killer. And some day soon I'm gonna find the sons of bitches who had him kill her. And I'd like you around when I do. And if you tell anyone what I'm about to say there's gonna be another shooting, but... I've gotten used to you pulling my pigtails. I have a hard job, Castle, and having you around makes it a little more fun.
Castle: ...Your secret's safe with me.
TV Show: Castle
Esposito[to Castle]: Why do you care about some mother-freaking snakes on a mother-freaking plane?
TV Show: Castle
Castle: There are two things in abundance in South Africa: racial hatred and diamonds.
TV Show: Castle
Ryan[about Beckett and Castle]: Do they know they're finishing each other's sentences?
TV Show: Castle
Castle: Well, the pen is mightier than the sword, but a baseball bat can be pretty effective too.
TV Show: Castle
[after hearing Castle comes from a line of mind readers]
Castle: You're thinking you don't care and want me to stop talking.
Beckett: Oooh, that's uncanny.
Castle: You're thinking you don't care and want me to stop talking.
Beckett: Oooh, that's uncanny.
TV Show: Castle
[after accusing a suspect with a lot of evidence]
Beckett: So you can play dumb, or you can play ball.
Castle: Pun intended.
Beckett: So you can play dumb, or you can play ball.
Castle: Pun intended.
TV Show: Castle