Boston Legal Quotes
Melissa: That was the single sexiest thing I've ever seen a man do.
Alan: You should see me do it naked.
Alan: You should see me do it naked.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Alan: The credit card industry is a pack of hyenas crunching on the bones of the poor.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Denny: With juries, it always comes down to simple. There's nobody simpler than me.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Melissa: How's my hair? Does my hair work?
Alan: It does appear to grow each month.
Alan: It does appear to grow each month.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Shirley: [to Father Ryan] Do I dare ask where those three fingers have been prior to my client chopping them off?
TV Show: Boston Legal
Denny: With all that's going on in the world these days, who among us hasn't wanted to take an axe to a priest?
TV Show: Boston Legal
Denny: Think we’ll ever see the day when the defense lawyer will be legally permitted to shoot the defendant?
Alan: We seem to be making progress.
Denny: Denny Crane. I’ll be your attorney.[imitating to shoot somebody]
Alan: We seem to be making progress.
Denny: Denny Crane. I’ll be your attorney.[imitating to shoot somebody]
TV Show: Boston Legal
Alan: Jerry, you know I have a tremendous affection for my own intelligence, and even I think you are smarter than me.
Jerry Espenson: Oh, I am.
Jerry Espenson: Oh, I am.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Denny: What the hell kinda charity is 'Children's Group'?
Shirley: We're teaching children to read.
Denise: No, we're buying them food.
Alan: I thought we were providing them with old people to play with.
Shirley: We're teaching children to read.
Denise: No, we're buying them food.
Alan: I thought we were providing them with old people to play with.
TV Show: Boston Legal
[After Denny has sex on the desk in his office without dropping all the blinds on the storefront windows]
Shirley: This is unprofessional, Denny. You are setting a very bad example for the rest of the firm.
Denny: Understood. And, from now on, in this office, those blinds go down before anybody else does.
Shirley: This is unprofessional, Denny. You are setting a very bad example for the rest of the firm.
Denny: Understood. And, from now on, in this office, those blinds go down before anybody else does.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Shirley: But understand that everyone at this firm is considered a witness. Don't expect anyone at this firm to help you -- OR speak to you.
Alan: And won't that make for a refreshing change.
Alan: And won't that make for a refreshing change.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Denny: So, do you like her yet? You promised.
Alan: I did. And I do.
Denny: I thought you would. She has many fine qualities.
Alan: She makes my friend smile. That's the only quality that matters.
Alan: I did. And I do.
Denny: I thought you would. She has many fine qualities.
Alan: She makes my friend smile. That's the only quality that matters.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Denny: Alan, Bev is the woman I've always dreamed of. An angel in the bedroom and a whore in the kitchen.
Alan: I think it's the other way around.
Denny: Not last night.
Alan: I think it's the other way around.
Denny: Not last night.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Denny: [to Paul] I left Bev on simmer. She should be coming to a boil rather nicely now.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Denise: Have you ever actually tried a case?
Daniel Post: No, but I've always wanted to. Think of it as the Make-A-Wish foundation granting a dying kid his fantasies...if that kid were a rich guy in his forties.
Daniel Post: No, but I've always wanted to. Think of it as the Make-A-Wish foundation granting a dying kid his fantasies...if that kid were a rich guy in his forties.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Alan: And good for you, you've enlisted the one prosecutor who's running for D.A. next year. Tell me, how big was your campaign contribution? And is there a matching fund here at the firm we can all go in on?
Shirley: It was sizeable, and speak to Kim in accounting.
Shirley: It was sizeable, and speak to Kim in accounting.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Store Owner: Do you know how many times I have been held up this year?
Alan: Far too many to appreciate her little prank, I'm sure... May I ask if that's your car out front, the Datsun with the dents in the side?
Store Owner: Yeah...
Alan: I have a friend who... has a friend, he's a magician with body work. He'll make those dents disappear, change the color, he'll make that Datsun look exactly like a late model BMW.
Store Owner: Can he...make the seats look like...leather?
Alan: The man's a miracle worker!
Alan: Far too many to appreciate her little prank, I'm sure... May I ask if that's your car out front, the Datsun with the dents in the side?
Store Owner: Yeah...
Alan: I have a friend who... has a friend, he's a magician with body work. He'll make those dents disappear, change the color, he'll make that Datsun look exactly like a late model BMW.
Store Owner: Can he...make the seats look like...leather?
Alan: The man's a miracle worker!
TV Show: Boston Legal
Alan: So how are you doing?
Denise: Fine.
Alan: I have a rabbi friend with a small gambling problem who, when he hears someone say they're fine, he always asks again until they say something--other than 'fine.' So, how are you doing?
Denise: Fine.
Alan: I have a rabbi friend with a small gambling problem who, when he hears someone say they're fine, he always asks again until they say something--other than 'fine.' So, how are you doing?
TV Show: Boston Legal
Alan: I always feel slightly sick to my stomach when I work alone in the office late at night.
Denise: I thought you liked being alone.
Alan: Oh, I love being alone. I just prefer to be alone when there's other people around.
Denise: I thought you liked being alone.
Alan: Oh, I love being alone. I just prefer to be alone when there's other people around.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Garrett: I want you out of my office! I'm an attorney, I graduated top of my class at Suffolk University Law School, I passed the Bar Exam the very first try, AND I was recruited by the best firms.
Catherine: I killed a man.
Catherine: I killed a man.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Alan: I didn't see you on the balcony the other night.
Denny: Bev and I had something to do...then we did it again.
Denny: Bev and I had something to do...then we did it again.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Shirley: [looking around the courtroom] The District Attorney's here.
Alan: Scott Bodner. Politicians are drawn to cameras like flies are drawn to...
Shirley: Politicians.
Alan: Scott Bodner. Politicians are drawn to cameras like flies are drawn to...
Shirley: Politicians.
TV Show: Boston Legal