Becker Quotes

Dr. John Becker: Oh, I'm so glad to see you!
Bob: That's nice, John.
Dr. John Becker: I was talking to the cigarettes.

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Bob: Becker, I just had a great idea!
Dr. John Becker: The first one's always exciting, isn't it?

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Bob: I was doing some research on the internet...
Dr. John Becker: Must have come as a surprise that it's not all porn, huh?
Bob: One shock at a time.

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[about a patient]
Dr. John Becker: What does he want?
Margaret: To bask in the sunny warmth of your disposition.

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Dr. John Becker: Did you ever hear me say that?
Margaret: No, but it certainly sounds like you!

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[about relaxation tapes]
Dr. John Becker: You'd be surprised how many people give 'em to me for Christmas.
Chris Connor: I'm surprised people give you presents at all.

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[to Liz]
Dr. John Becker: All right, I'm sorry.
[Reggie gasps]
Dr. John Becker: Oh, shut up.

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Margaret: I have to leave early today.
Dr. John Becker: And leave me alone with Linda?

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Linda: OK Here's the thing...
Dr. John Becker: Aw come on Linda, no THINGS!

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Regina 'Reggie' Kostas: I don't have a license to sell alcohol.
Dr. John Becker: You don't have a license to sell rat hair, either, but that never stopped you.

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Regina 'Reggie' Kostas: Do you think it would be silly for me to go back to college, now?
Dr. John Becker: No, I think it would silly for us to have this conversation again, ten years from now.

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Chris Connor: [to Dr. John Becker] There's not a day that goes by that doesn't prove you are emotionally retarded!

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[a patient can't open the door]
Dr. John Becker: Door's unlocked right?
Margaret: Yup.
Dr. John Becker: And he still can't get in?
Margaret: Apparently.
Dr. John Becker: I guess I can be a little more tolerant.
Margaret: Oh, come on, you can't possibly be that stupid! If you keep pulling and it isn't working there is only one possible option, press the button and push!
[opens the door and looks to Dr. John Becker]
Margaret: Jackass!
Dr. John Becker: Feels good, doesn't it?

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[Reggie's diner has been robbed]
Dr. John Becker: Well, maybe this is a good sign. I mean, who would want to rob this place? Maybe they've finally run out of places to rob, and crime will finally stop in New York. I mean, what could they possibly rob next?
[pause]
Dr. John Becker: Oh, dear God, my apartment!

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Jake Malinak: Wait a minute, this guy's really good-looking, isn't he?
Regina 'Reggie' Kostas: I could lick his face like a Dove bar.

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Dr. John Becker: Hey, Hector, how is everything?
Hector Lopez: Well, actually...
Dr. John Becker: Rhetorical question, I don't really care.

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Regina 'Reggie' Kostas: Well, I hate to break it to you--you're normal.
Dr. John Becker: You can't talk to me like that! You know, you've called me alot of things, you've called me neurotic, damaged, obstinant, inappropriate, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit there and let you tell me that I'm normal. I'm not normal. I'm abnormal!

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Dr. John Becker: Know what I hate?
Jake Malinak: Who's got the list?

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Margaret: So, Linda, how long have you had the nipple ring?
Linda: Gee. What makes you think I even do?

TV Show: Becker