Batman - The Animated Series Quotes

Bruce: You've got a serious priority problem, Ra's. What can be in that tomb that's more valuable than the love of your daughter?
Ra's Al Ghul: Power, detective.

TV Show: Batman - The Animated Series
Two-Face: Basic fifty-fifty option. You get him off, you both go free. He goes down, you take the fall with him.
Hatter: Amusing idea, what? Kidnapping you to be Batman's attorney?
Two-Face: Personally, I suggested a quick slug between the eyes... but I lost the coin toss.

TV Show: Batman - The Animated Series
Scarface: Our prosecutor is ready, likewise our fair and impartial jury.
Hatter: Hang him!
Harley: Shoot him!
Killer Croc: Hit him with a rock!
Scarface: And now, all rise for the most honorable, most benevolent, most merciful Judge Joker!
Joker: GUILTY!

TV Show: Batman - The Animated Series
Harley: Look, Bats. When I was a doctor I was always listening to other people's problems. Then I met Mister J, who listened to me for a change and made everything fun.
Batman: You think it's funny when he hurts people?
Harley: It's just a joke.
Batman: Hope you're still laughing when it's your turn.

TV Show: Batman - The Animated Series
Harley: And here you thought? I was just another bubble-headed blond bimbo! Well, the joke's on you! I'm not even a real blonde!

TV Show: Batman - The Animated Series
Robin: It's lucky you were here, Harley. The countdown sequence didn't leave Joker enough time to swing by Arkham and pick you up.
Joker: Quiet, brat.
Harley: You were going to come back for me, weren't you, puddin'?
Joker: Of course, pumpkin pie! It's just that, uh... here you are! So I can... save myself a trip!
Harley: But what about all our friends! Ivy, and Two-Face and... Hat-Guy and... Lizard Man and... Puppet-Head...
Joker: What about them?
Batman: Don't forget your little pets!
Harley: The babies! We can't leave the babies!
Joker: I'll buy you a goldfish! Let's go!
Harley: No!
Joker: Why you little-
Harley: (Hits Joker and runs toward Batman) You know, Bats, I got a crazy idea Mister J may not be the guy for me after all!

TV Show: Batman - The Animated Series
Thorne: You almost didn't get paid. You're lucky these diamonds didn't get nabbed in the smuggling bust.
Bane: No, Mr. Thorne. You are the lucky one. (He punches the punching bag across the room)

TV Show: Batman - The Animated Series
Bane: Toys. You try to fight me with pathetic little toys. You've got nothing! Beg for mercy! SCREAM MY NAME!
Batman: Never.
Bane: You are beaten! Now I will break you!

TV Show: Batman - The Animated Series
Batman: You're your own worst enemy, Harvey.
Two-Face: No - I'm your worst enemy.

TV Show: Batman - The Animated Series
Riddler: He's right, you know.
Thug: Who?
Riddler: Batman. He is going to catch me... sooner or later.
Thug: Gee, boss, you're scaring me. You're talking kinda crazy.
Riddler: DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME THAT! I fooled the police, the doctors, the Parole Board - all of them! There's only one person who's ever been able to challenge me: Batman! He's the only one worthy of the game!
Thug: But you said sooner or later he's gonna catch you. What are you gonna do?
Riddler: I'm never going back to Arkham! So I guess there's only one thing to do!

TV Show: Batman - The Animated Series
Riddler: [ranting in a cell in Arkham] It's impossible, I tell you! Impossible! My trap was perfect! How did he do it?! I have to know! Somebody tell me! It's not fair! There was no way, I tell you! No way he could have gotten out! SOMEBODY TELL ME! DO YOU HEAR ME?! SOMEBODY TELL ME HOW HE DID IT!! I HAVE TO KNOW!! I HAVE TO KNOOOOOOOOOW!!!

TV Show: Batman - The Animated Series
Robin: (Watching episodes of Baby Doll's old TV show) You remember when Poison Ivy had us tangled up in those vines? The ones with the REALLY big thorns?
Batman: Yes.
Robin: (Gestures at TV) This is worse.

TV Show: Batman - The Animated Series
(Baby Doll aims her gun at Batman in a fun house tunnel maze)
Baby Doll: Game's over, Mr. Batman! I WIN!
(Batman throws a Batarang, knocking the doll-gun down a slide)
Baby Doll: No fair!
(She runs to retrieve it, and stumbles into a room full of fun-house mirrors. She picks up the gun, wandering through the various distorted reflections, until she comes to one that shows her as an adult)
Baby Doll(her voice now deep and mature): Look! That's me in there! The real me! There I am!
(She touches the reflection, and her face changes)
Baby Doll: ...But it's not really real, is it? Just...made-up and pretend, like my family, and my life, and everything else!
(Turns to face Batman, who stands behind her)
Baby Doll: (furiously)Why couldn't you just let me MAKE-BELIEVE?!
(She fires the gun wildly, aiming at reflections of Batman and shattering the mirrors. When she finally turns to the one that contains her adult image, her eyes fill with tears as she shoots and destroys it. As Batman approaches her, she sobs like a little girl, firing the now-empty gun)
Baby Doll(clutching Batman's leg and crying): ... I didn't mean to...

TV Show: Batman - The Animated Series
Scarecrow: I am the Master of Fear! The Lord of Despair! Cower before me in witless terror!
Harley: Hi, Professor Crane!
Scarecrow: (Smiling quietly) Good evening, child. (To Batman and Robin, furiously) Worship me, you fools! Worship me! Scream hosannas of anguish to Scarecrow, the all-terrible God of Fear!! (Guards take him away)
Robin: I think he's getting better.

TV Show: Batman - The Animated Series
Harley: Hey, don't I know you?
Bruce: I don't think so...
Harley: (Covers Bruce's upper face with her hand) Something about that chin... I know! (Pauses) You're Bruce Wayne! The boy billionaire!

TV Show: Batman - The Animated Series
Harley: I'M HAVING A BAD DAY! I'm sick of people trying to shoot me, run me over and blow me up! I didn't even get to keep my new dress - and I actually paid for it!

TV Show: Batman - The Animated Series
Dispatcher: Disturbance reported at the top of the Crown restaurant. Suspect is a male costumed extremist armed with what appears to be a... ketchup gun.
Batman: It's going to be one of those nights.

TV Show: Batman - The Animated Series
Condiment King: So long, suckers! Parting is such sweet-and-sour sorrow. (Batman yanks away his loot bag) What's this? Ah! The big bad Bat-guy. I knew you'd ketchup to me sooner or later. How I relished this meeting. You, the dynamic Dark Knight, versus me, the conceptual Condiment King! Come, Batman. Let's see if you can cut the mustard.
Batman: Quiet! (He punches the King in the stomach)
Condiment King: (Slumps to ground, gasping) You hit me!

TV Show: Batman - The Animated Series
Catwoman: Bats are just mice with wings, little girl.

TV Show: Batman - The Animated Series
Batgirl: So, what are you going to do? Leave us over one of these vats with acid burning through the rope?
Daggett: (Laughs) If there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's that you crime-fighting types are very resourceful. So, I'll just have my men shoot you and throw your bodies in the vats.

TV Show: Batman - The Animated Series
Scarecrow: Don't take me back there, please! Look at me, Batman! I'm shaking with fear! Me! The Scarecrow! I wasn't even going back to crime this time! I just had to get away from... him!
Lyle Bolton: I'll take it from here, Batman. Lyle Bolton, Chief of security. Congratulations, Professor Crane. You're the first inmate to escape Arkham under my charge. (He grabs Crane by the collar; Crane whimpers) You're also the last.

TV Show: Batman - The Animated Series
Bartholomew: Ms. Quinn? Do you have any complaints against Mr. Bolton?
[Lyle Bolton sneers threateningly at Harley]
Harley Quinn: I got nothing to say.
Bartholomew: But surely you must have something you wish to--
Harley Quinn: You got a hearing problem or something?! NO! NADA! IXNAY! ZERO! ZILCH! BUPKES! NOTHING! OKAY?!

TV Show: Batman - The Animated Series
Bullock: Just what this town needs. Another psycho in a Halloween costume.

TV Show: Batman - The Animated Series
Grant Walker: Do you realise that in your half-frozen state, you will age more slowly than an ordinary human? You're practically immortal, my friend!
Mr. Freeze: Yes, eternal life trapped in this wretched shell! What a miserable joke.
Grant Walker: Miserable to you, but a godsend to me. Look at me, Mr. Freeze, I'm an old man. I've created wonders in my lifetime, but there is still so much to do! I want to change as you have. To become, like you, a being of blessed, eternal cold.
Mr. Freeze: You're insane.
Grant Walker: Only you know how to duplicate the accident that made you what you are. What I long to become!
Mr. Freeze: (grabs him) You want to live like this? Abandoned and alone? A prisoner in a world you can see but never touch? (drops him and turns away) Old and infirm as you are, I'd trade a thousand of my frozen years for your worst day.

TV Show: Batman - The Animated Series
Grant Walker: This is my dream, my vision! I cheated death to make it real, and you won't stop me!
Mr. Freeze: You may live forever, Grant Walker, but your mad dream dies now. (freezes him)

TV Show: Batman - The Animated Series
Mr. Freeze: Attention, citizens of Oceania. Your city is doomed. If you value your lives, you will evacuate now. That is all.

TV Show: Batman - The Animated Series
Warren: Is this all you do for kicks, Bruce? Charity work?
Bruce: Well, I do have a night life.

TV Show: Batman - The Animated Series
Batman: Scoundrels like these are worse than the Joker. At least he's got madness as an excuse!

TV Show: Batman - The Animated Series
Sheriff: Well, well. Jonah Hex his own bad self. Been here five minutes and you ain't killed nobody nor set nothin' on fire. Slippin' ain't you?
Jonah Hex: I'm still a little bushed.
Sheriff: Fact is, you look a little past it, Hex. Not tired, just all used up.
Hex: Well, when I get pushed, I can still shoot a fly out from between its wings. Provided the right lights, of course, and it's a big plump fly.

TV Show: Batman - The Animated Series
Catwoman: What a pleasant surprise. Though I should warn you - breaking and entering is against the law.
Batman: You should know.

TV Show: Batman - The Animated Series