Archer Quotes

Dr. Krieger: Almost as cool as my van.

TV Show: Archer
Russian: If I tell you all at once, your head might explode... Along with comb over.

TV Show: Archer
Archer: It's ok, it was just cancer sex.

TV Show: Archer
Archer: So you! [Smack] Can you hack into the KGB servers?
Bilbo: pfft... Does one ring rule them all?

TV Show: Archer
Ray: For God's sake woman, are you hearing yourself? He's your son, not a...
Lana: Ray, she got him to quit drinking...
Ray: [Lifts guns] So what's the plan?

TV Show: Archer
Archer: Wait, does Canada even have a spy agency?
Katya: Yes, but..
Archer: Wha why? Haha It's Canada.

TV Show: Archer
Malory: I swear, if any one saw me in this awful van.
Lana: How could they with this illegal ass window tint. Dude, this van is like, rolling probable cause.
Malory: So all ashore from the S.S. Date Rape.
Ray: Toot toot.

TV Show: Archer
Archer: Is anybody hit? Not really the explosive climax I thought it was gonna be.
Ray: Is nobody gonna touch that? Seriously?

TV Show: Archer
Ray: Yea, it is the first thing they'd do. It's like, counter-intelligence 101.

TV Show: Archer
Ray: How 'bout a disgraced former minister. Long story, kinda boring, but I am still licensed by the state to perform marriages, the irony of which is not lost on me.

TV Show: Archer
Barry: What part of "I'm a cyborg" are you people still not getting?
Archer: The core concept, I guess.

TV Show: Archer