The Tick (live-action) Quotes
Tick: We have a fiendishly clever commode. It's already taken the bathtub as an ally in its porcelain war against us.
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
[The Tick meets Arthur's mother and sister.]
Tick: So you're the mother. What a pleasure it is to shake hands with the womb that spilled Arthur into the world. And let's not forget the womb-mate, Dot! Arthur's words do no justice to your nervous, white-knuckled beauty.
Tick: So you're the mother. What a pleasure it is to shake hands with the womb that spilled Arthur into the world. And let's not forget the womb-mate, Dot! Arthur's words do no justice to your nervous, white-knuckled beauty.
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
Batmanuel: I must say, I find your sister strangely compelling. Do you think she'd care to go —
Arthur: What? NO! She's married. She's got two kids.
Batmanuel: Oh — yes, I thought I knew that scent! A soccer mommy! It's my only weakness.
Arthur: What? NO! She's married. She's got two kids.
Batmanuel: Oh — yes, I thought I knew that scent! A soccer mommy! It's my only weakness.
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
Arthur: Toilets... don't... talk. They DON'T!
Tick: Well, that's a "maybe" in my book.
Tick: Well, that's a "maybe" in my book.
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
[Tick pours some drain cleaner into the toilet]
Tick: Not so talky with a belly full of HELL are we?
Tick: Not so talky with a belly full of HELL are we?
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
Arthur: How did you find me?
Tick: I just walked around and yelled a lot.
Tick: I just walked around and yelled a lot.
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
Policeman: Cap'n Liberty, what do we got?
Captain Liberty: What do we got? What are you, blind? What does it look like we got? We got a guy stuck halfway up a robot's ass. That's what we got.
Captain Liberty: What do we got? What are you, blind? What does it look like we got? We got a guy stuck halfway up a robot's ass. That's what we got.
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
[Captain Liberty discusses dating problems with fellow superheroine Medusa.]
Captain Liberty: I mean, what are our choices? On the one hand, you've got a bunch of musclebound mutants who think that just because they can bend steel, we're supposed to bend over... and the civilians, well, they're afraid we're gonna zap 'em with a ray and shrink their johnson!
Captain Liberty: I mean, what are our choices? On the one hand, you've got a bunch of musclebound mutants who think that just because they can bend steel, we're supposed to bend over... and the civilians, well, they're afraid we're gonna zap 'em with a ray and shrink their johnson!
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
Liscense Clerk: I haven't got all day
Tick: Well we do Thelma, you can have half of ours! We'll share!
Tick: Well we do Thelma, you can have half of ours! We'll share!
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
[At the police station, Tick meets a woman who claims he's her husband.]
Mrs. Glick: Oh, Ted... Ted!
Tick: You hear that, Arthur? Ted!
Mrs. Glick: I've been worried to death!
Tick: Oh, you poor zombie... that's no way to die.
Mrs. Glick: Oh, Ted... Ted!
Tick: You hear that, Arthur? Ted!
Mrs. Glick: I've been worried to death!
Tick: Oh, you poor zombie... that's no way to die.
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
Mrs. Glick: [showing a photo] Here we are at the Grand Canyon. Do you remember being at the Grand Canyon?
Tick/Ted: I remember vaguely making the Grand Canyon.
Tick/Ted: I remember vaguely making the Grand Canyon.
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
Mrs. Glick: And here we are at the Eifel Tower.
Tick/Ted: I fell...
Mrs. Glick: No, "Eifel"
Tick/Ted: You fell?
Tick/Ted: I fell...
Mrs. Glick: No, "Eifel"
Tick/Ted: You fell?
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
Batmanuel: So, Arthur, how is your life post-Tick? And be prepared — if your answer is not scintillating, my interest will rapidly wane.
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
Batmanuel: In my experience, there's only one guaranteed way to ever really know the truth - you must create it yourself.
Captain Liberty: And how do you do that?
Batmanuel: Lie.
Captain Liberty: And how do you do that?
Batmanuel: Lie.
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
[Arthur, in costume, has bumped into a girl he had a crush on in high school.]
Stacy Waxman: Do you want to go to dinner tomight?
Arthur: Very badly. But I'll have to —
Stacy: Change? Don't you dare!
Arthur: You... want me to wear the suit?
Stacy: Definitely! Dinner with a superhero — who wouldn't wanna be me tonight?
Tick: Well, Zordox, for one... Kid Psycho... the A-Hole...
Stacy Waxman: Do you want to go to dinner tomight?
Arthur: Very badly. But I'll have to —
Stacy: Change? Don't you dare!
Arthur: You... want me to wear the suit?
Stacy: Definitely! Dinner with a superhero — who wouldn't wanna be me tonight?
Tick: Well, Zordox, for one... Kid Psycho... the A-Hole...
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
Batmanuel: Herein you see the power of the suit. Women cannot resist the suit. Men cannot resist the suit. Dogs —
Arthur: Yeah, I get it. So you think she's only talking to me because of the suit?
Batmanuel: I am only talking to you because of the suit.
Arthur: Yeah, I get it. So you think she's only talking to me because of the suit?
Batmanuel: I am only talking to you because of the suit.
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
Batmanuel: Batmanuel is a jealous ex-lover. If he cannot see you naked, then nobody can.
Captain Liberty: Wow. I'm not sure if that's romantic or just extra creepy.
Captain Liberty: Wow. I'm not sure if that's romantic or just extra creepy.
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
Judge: Make it fast!
Batmanuel: Batmanuel never makes it fast. That is, unless the husband is in the other room.
Batmanuel: Batmanuel never makes it fast. That is, unless the husband is in the other room.
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
[The Tick, looking at a girlie magazine, bursts out laughing.]
Tick: Well, that poor fella's got bosoms!
Tick: Well, that poor fella's got bosoms!
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
Tick: Well, not so runny anymore, are we, Mister Takin'-Stuff? (after fleeing burglar bounces off him.)
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
The Fiery Blaze: Guttersnipe! Halt now or face the combustible justice of... the Fiery Blaze!
Friendly Fire: And his sideKICK [kicks the burglar] Friendly Fire!
Tick: Lordy, gents, your banter is immaculate! A pleasure to witness.
Friendly Fire: And his sideKICK [kicks the burglar] Friendly Fire!
Tick: Lordy, gents, your banter is immaculate! A pleasure to witness.
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
Captain Liberty: Manuel, we're not lonely, are we?
Batmanuel: We? No. No, no, no, no. We're too attractive to be lonely.
Capt. Liberty: Yeah, but we are alone.
Batmanuel: I'm not alone. Uh, spinsters, shut-ins, toll booth attendants — these are alone people. Batmanuel is lone — as in Lone Ranger, or, uh, lone wolf. Alone is an unfortunate predicament. Lone is an aesthetic choice.
Batmanuel: We? No. No, no, no, no. We're too attractive to be lonely.
Capt. Liberty: Yeah, but we are alone.
Batmanuel: I'm not alone. Uh, spinsters, shut-ins, toll booth attendants — these are alone people. Batmanuel is lone — as in Lone Ranger, or, uh, lone wolf. Alone is an unfortunate predicament. Lone is an aesthetic choice.
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
[Captain Liberty tries to buy a puppy.]
Capt. Liberty: How much?
Randolph [pet store clerk]: Well, I suggest you spend some time with Lilith in the back, make sure you like her personality, and then we can talk price.
Capt. Liberty: Personality? He's a dog. He sits, he rolls over, he plays dead. How much?
Randolph: I don't think I'm gonna be able to help you, ma'am. Why don't you go rent a videotape or something, instead of ruining some poor puppy's life with your single-woman hormone clock-is-ticking impulse-buying nonsense?
Capt. Liberty: Just sell me the damn dog.
Randolph: She's not for sale — not to you. What you need is a singles chat-room, ma'am, not some living creature. Good day.
Capt. Liberty: How much?
Randolph [pet store clerk]: Well, I suggest you spend some time with Lilith in the back, make sure you like her personality, and then we can talk price.
Capt. Liberty: Personality? He's a dog. He sits, he rolls over, he plays dead. How much?
Randolph: I don't think I'm gonna be able to help you, ma'am. Why don't you go rent a videotape or something, instead of ruining some poor puppy's life with your single-woman hormone clock-is-ticking impulse-buying nonsense?
Capt. Liberty: Just sell me the damn dog.
Randolph: She's not for sale — not to you. What you need is a singles chat-room, ma'am, not some living creature. Good day.
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
Arthur: So, Tick, you know, I've been thinking. We have it pretty good. We fill in each other's weak spots. You're bulletproof, for instance, while I'm not.
Tick: True — but it's your firm grip on reality that keeps our ship on course.
Arthur: Well... yeah, I guess you're right...
Tick: Guess, nothin'! You're on a first-name basis with lucidity, little friend. I have to call it Mister Lucidity... and that's no good in a pinch.
Arthur: I just don't wanna turn into Blaze and Fire, okay?
Tick: Good heavens, man, what kind of crazy Frankenscience could make that possible?
Tick: True — but it's your firm grip on reality that keeps our ship on course.
Arthur: Well... yeah, I guess you're right...
Tick: Guess, nothin'! You're on a first-name basis with lucidity, little friend. I have to call it Mister Lucidity... and that's no good in a pinch.
Arthur: I just don't wanna turn into Blaze and Fire, okay?
Tick: Good heavens, man, what kind of crazy Frankenscience could make that possible?
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)
Tick: I smell sweaty, drinky, uncle-person...
[The Fiery Blaze appears and falls down drunk.]
[The Fiery Blaze appears and falls down drunk.]
TV Show: The Tick (live-action)