The Thick of It Quotes
Nicola: For fuck's sake, Malcolm!
Malcolm: Shouldn't that be "Of fuck's sake"?
Nicola: What?
Malcolm: Can I just quote it to you? "The Prime Minister is the right man for the moment"
Nicola: Yeah, that's what you told me to say.
Malcolm: Of the moment! I said Of the moment! There is a huge difference between me saying "Nicola, I'd like to go for a walk with you" and "Nicola, I'm going to make a hat out of your entrails."
Malcolm: Shouldn't that be "Of fuck's sake"?
Nicola: What?
Malcolm: Can I just quote it to you? "The Prime Minister is the right man for the moment"
Nicola: Yeah, that's what you told me to say.
Malcolm: Of the moment! I said Of the moment! There is a huge difference between me saying "Nicola, I'd like to go for a walk with you" and "Nicola, I'm going to make a hat out of your entrails."
TV Show: The Thick of It
Nicola Murray MP: You're about as on the ball today as a dead seal.
Malcolm Tucker: Hey, that's one of my fucking lines!
Malcolm Tucker: Hey, that's one of my fucking lines!
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Ben Swain: [On launching Nicola's Fourth Sector initiative] It's hard to smash a champagne bottle on a turd.
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[The team have had their first meeting with Steve Fleming]
Ollie: What would you call that? Obsessive Repulsive Disorder?
Ollie: What would you call that? Obsessive Repulsive Disorder?
TV Show: The Thick of It
Ollie: [On the phone to Malcolm, who's on holiday] Andy Murray, famous tennis player also lovely scotch... person - The new face of healthy eating. Nicola Murray, slightly panicky minister lady wonders if that's alright?
Malcolm: Yeah, yeah. Andy Murray, Andy Pandy, fucking Ghandi have a hand-shandy, whatever, just fuck off out of my life.
Ollie: [Hangs up. To Nicola] The man from Hell Monte, he say "Fucking Aye!"
Malcolm: Yeah, yeah. Andy Murray, Andy Pandy, fucking Ghandi have a hand-shandy, whatever, just fuck off out of my life.
Ollie: [Hangs up. To Nicola] The man from Hell Monte, he say "Fucking Aye!"
TV Show: The Thick of It
[Glen accidentally spills a box of crime figures paperwork]
Ollie: Well, that's given us a headstart. Thanks Glen. I would kill you, but I'd have to add you to the fucking figures.
Ollie: Well, that's given us a headstart. Thanks Glen. I would kill you, but I'd have to add you to the fucking figures.
TV Show: The Thick of It
Glen: You want us to work all through the night on this?
Steve Fleming: It would be very much appreciated upstairs.
Ollie: I'm an atheist.
Steve Fleming: It would be very much appreciated upstairs.
Ollie: I'm an atheist.
TV Show: The Thick of It
Steve Fleming: Everyone knows we don't get on. We are the Gallagher brothers of politics.
Malcolm Tucker: Does that mean that I'm the semi-talented songwriter and you're the fucking loutish prick?
Malcolm Tucker: Does that mean that I'm the semi-talented songwriter and you're the fucking loutish prick?
TV Show: The Thick of It
[reading a newspaper article on Malcolm]
Ollie: Hey! There's a reference to you here, Cullen. Alledged to have assaulted an elderly aide at a party conference.
Glenn Cullen: Elderly aide? That makes me sound like a fucking stairlift.
Ollie: Hey! There's a reference to you here, Cullen. Alledged to have assaulted an elderly aide at a party conference.
Glenn Cullen: Elderly aide? That makes me sound like a fucking stairlift.
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Nicola Murray: You're all over the papers like a pissing puppy, Malcolm.
Malcolm Tucker: Yeah, well that's what we masters of the dark arts call a blip.
Malcolm Tucker: Yeah, well that's what we masters of the dark arts call a blip.
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Malcolm Tucker: How are the hacks?
Steve Fleming: Ready to eat their own cocks.
Malcolm Tucker: Easy, they're journalists not Rangers supporters.
Steve Fleming: Ready to eat their own cocks.
Malcolm Tucker: Easy, they're journalists not Rangers supporters.
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Nicola Murray: Ollie! Glen! I need you in here now. Quick!
[Glen approaches the office while taking off his glasses]
Nicola Murray: Oh Glen! Don't faff around with your glasses, I know you take them off everytime you come in here. It's not impressive!
[Glen approaches the office while taking off his glasses]
Nicola Murray: Oh Glen! Don't faff around with your glasses, I know you take them off everytime you come in here. It's not impressive!
TV Show: The Thick of It
Malcolm Tucker: [At home after being sacked, Malcolm answers the phone] Philip Schofield, I fuck lobsters for money.
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Terri: "Give us the Bald-facts?". It's very rude that, isn't it. I was always told never to make personal remarks about people.
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Terri: That is a complete disaster. There will be nothing on television for weeks now.
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Ollie: He's back!
Nicola Murray: Who? Barrymore?
Ollie: No.
Nicola Murray: Clement Atlee?
Ollie: No.
Nicola Murray: Oh fuck!
Ollie: Yes.
Nicola Murray: Malcolm.
Ollie: Yes.
Nicola Murray: Who? Barrymore?
Ollie: No.
Nicola Murray: Clement Atlee?
Ollie: No.
Nicola Murray: Oh fuck!
Ollie: Yes.
Nicola Murray: Malcolm.
Ollie: Yes.
TV Show: The Thick of It
Malcolm: Don't take that job, Nicola.
Nicola: God, Malcolm.
Malcolm: The anti-Tom brigade are just waiting for the first piece to fall. If you resign, it's political fucking Jenga. You will cause a landslide that will bury this Government. And you'll keep the party in opposition until Daniel Radcliffe is advertising walk-in baths in the fucking Peoples Friend
Nicola: God, Malcolm.
Malcolm: The anti-Tom brigade are just waiting for the first piece to fall. If you resign, it's political fucking Jenga. You will cause a landslide that will bury this Government. And you'll keep the party in opposition until Daniel Radcliffe is advertising walk-in baths in the fucking Peoples Friend
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Julius Nicholson: You've done some pretty appalling things to me in the past, Malcolm, but this takes the bloody biscuit. And you've pissed on that biscuit and I've got to eat it. Well, I'll tell you this, I'm not eating the pissy biscuit!
Malcolm: Sam, no pissy biscuits.
Malcolm: Sam, no pissy biscuits.
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[The Opposition have their first meeting with Cal "The Fucker" Richards]
Peter Mannion: I'm sensing a change in management styles. From touchy-feely to smashy-testes.
Peter Mannion: I'm sensing a change in management styles. From touchy-feely to smashy-testes.
TV Show: The Thick of It
Cal Richards: Fuck, what I really need to do is to shoot you all in the back of the head! But I can't because it's illegal!
TV Show: The Thick of It