The Thick of It Quotes
Glenn Cullen: This is a bucket of ****. If someone throws **** at us, we throw **** back at them. We start a **** fight. We throw so much **** back at them so they can't pick up ****, they can't throw ****, they can't DO ****.
Movie: The Thick of It
Hugh Abbott: God that's why the PM always looks so clued up, I always thought he was genuinely quite with it
Malcolm Tucker: No, no, he's as bad as you, he uses phrases like "with it" as well
Malcolm Tucker: No, no, he's as bad as you, he uses phrases like "with it" as well
Movie: The Thick of It
Jamie: [on the phone] No, no, he is a nice guy, it's just that apparently every eighteen months, two years he burns out. Takes a truck booth full of Prozac to get him righted.
Movie: The Thick of It
Malcolm Tucker: Ok, this is what we're doing: I'm putting about through a number of cronies that Hewitt's piece was a packet of bollocks, he did it as a favor to Cliff.
Oliver Reeder: Cliff being...
Glenn Cullen: Cliff Lawton...
Malcolm Tucker: Hugh's predesessor. He and Hewitt are as tight as arse cheeks.
Hugh Abbott: Are they now?
Malcolm Tucker: **** knows, but that's what we're saying, ok? It's personal, it's backslapping, it's borderline homoerotic, and you are an innocent victim of a nasty media stitch-up.
Oliver Reeder: Cliff being...
Glenn Cullen: Cliff Lawton...
Malcolm Tucker: Hugh's predesessor. He and Hewitt are as tight as arse cheeks.
Hugh Abbott: Are they now?
Malcolm Tucker: **** knows, but that's what we're saying, ok? It's personal, it's backslapping, it's borderline homoerotic, and you are an innocent victim of a nasty media stitch-up.
Movie: The Thick of It
Nicola Murray: Somebody has just done a huge poo on my desk and I want it cleared up.
Terri Coverley: My bum is clean, it's clean as a whistle.
Terri Coverley: My bum is clean, it's clean as a whistle.
Movie: The Thick of It
Oliver Reeder: [on the phone, after the antidepressants thing breaks] Hello.
Malcolm Tucker: Right, what's the plan?
Oliver Reeder: They don't have a plan.
Malcolm Tucker: Perhaps you should give them one.
Oliver Reeder: Oh, yes, fantastic, actually, Malcolm, because I have a very suitable one attached to the underside of my scrotum, so why don't we...
Malcolm Tucker: Shut it, you're using up all the minutes on my talk-to-your-head-cancer tariff. Listen, get hold of Nick. Ask him if he's thought of sounding out another body. Suggest Claire Ballantine. She's highly regarded, she's clean, and she could, theoretically, occupy the same space as Tom. Call me in three.
Malcolm Tucker: Right, what's the plan?
Oliver Reeder: They don't have a plan.
Malcolm Tucker: Perhaps you should give them one.
Oliver Reeder: Oh, yes, fantastic, actually, Malcolm, because I have a very suitable one attached to the underside of my scrotum, so why don't we...
Malcolm Tucker: Shut it, you're using up all the minutes on my talk-to-your-head-cancer tariff. Listen, get hold of Nick. Ask him if he's thought of sounding out another body. Suggest Claire Ballantine. She's highly regarded, she's clean, and she could, theoretically, occupy the same space as Tom. Call me in three.
Movie: The Thick of It
Malcolm Tucker: Y'know what's worrying me? Is this dodgy?
Jamie: I dunno, the kid's firm was the second lowest bid. He says they never talked, what does it matter?
Malcolm: Well, you know me, I'm a man of principle. I like to know whether I'm lying to save the skin of a tosser or a moron.
Jamie: Probably a moron.
Jamie: I dunno, the kid's firm was the second lowest bid. He says they never talked, what does it matter?
Malcolm: Well, you know me, I'm a man of principle. I like to know whether I'm lying to save the skin of a tosser or a moron.
Jamie: Probably a moron.
TV Show: The Thick of It
Malcolm Tucker: How much fucking shit is there on the menu and what fucking flavour is it?
TV Show: The Thick of It
Malcolm: There is a difference between allowing someone's natural tittishness to come through, and just exploiting it through camera work here! You're sticking one tit moment on top of another tit moment. That wouldn't happen in real life.
TV Show: The Thick of It
Malcolm: Stats, percentages, international comparisons, information. E-mail them fucking wads of information. And tell them to get their heads around it before they put pen to paper, or I'll be up their arses like a fucking Biafran ferret, right? Come on, unleash hell!
TV Show: The Thick of It
Jamie: Have you seen the Whip's numbers?
Malcolm: NOMFuP.
Jamie: What?
Malcolm: NOMFuP. N-O-M-F-P. Not My Fucking Problem. I quite like that. Did you like that? I'll use that quite a lot today.
Malcolm: NOMFuP.
Jamie: What?
Malcolm: NOMFuP. N-O-M-F-P. Not My Fucking Problem. I quite like that. Did you like that? I'll use that quite a lot today.
TV Show: The Thick of It
Hugh: I know this is what they think people like me think, so I hate thinking it, but I just find myself thinking that they're from a different fucking species. You know, with their t-shirts and weird trousers and tabards. Why do they wear clothing with writing on it? And why are they so fat?
TV Show: The Thick of It
Jamie: Well, go, for fuck's sake, you big fucking prick! I'll cut your fucking ears off! We need it done.
Olly: When I met you this morning, I thought you were the nice Scot.
Olly: When I met you this morning, I thought you were the nice Scot.
TV Show: The Thick of It
Malcolm: [On the phone to Olly] Have you sorted it, Olly?
Olly: It's not quite sorted just yet, Malcolm. It's difficult...
Malcolm: Shall I send Jamie over? Would you like that? You and Jamie and a rubber truncheon, locked in that fucking newsroom together.
Olly: It's not quite sorted just yet, Malcolm. It's difficult...
Malcolm: Shall I send Jamie over? Would you like that? You and Jamie and a rubber truncheon, locked in that fucking newsroom together.
TV Show: The Thick of It
Malcolm: Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off.
Hugh: Well I'll come the fuck in then.
Hugh: Well I'll come the fuck in then.
TV Show: The Thick of It
Hugh: Just thought you'd want to know as soon as possible. Terri's father... there's no news.
Malcolm: Oh, so you've come to talk about the reshuffle?
Malcolm: Oh, so you've come to talk about the reshuffle?
TV Show: The Thick of It
Malcolm: Don't take it personally.
Hugh: You're telling me she doesn't like me as a person. How else am I supposed to take it?
Hugh: You're telling me she doesn't like me as a person. How else am I supposed to take it?
TV Show: The Thick of It
Malcolm: [On phone to Jamie] There is a fucking glacier of shit at DoSaC! I need you over there with a blowtorch right fucking now!
TV Show: The Thick of It
Malcolm: Shut it! You're using all the minutes on my Talk until you get head cancer tariff.
TV Show: The Thick of It
Jamie: I'm not leaving it to you, you couldn't organise a bum-rape in a barracks.
Malcolm: Au contraire.
Malcolm: Au contraire.
TV Show: The Thick of It
Malcolm: If you do think about running with this pill story, I'll personally fucking eviscerate you, right? I mean, I don't have your education, I don't know what that means. But I'll start by ripping your cock off and I'll busk it from there. OK?
TV Show: The Thick of It
Terri: For your information, I have done nothing!
Glenn: That will be your epitaph Terri.
Glenn: That will be your epitaph Terri.
TV Show: The Thick of It
Terri: The problem is that if you say to a journalist, "Can you avoid that topic?", that's when they really go for it. It's like saying to the school bully, "I'll wet myself if you tickle me."
TV Show: The Thick of It
[Olly throws a cup of coffee at Phil's groin]
Phil: It's only lukewarm and it's a dark suit. I still win!
Phil: It's only lukewarm and it's a dark suit. I still win!
TV Show: The Thick of It
Hugh: That was quite funny.
Glenn: I didn't think it was funny.
Hugh: I'm an elected representative of the people. It was funny.
Glenn: I didn't think it was funny.
Hugh: I'm an elected representative of the people. It was funny.
TV Show: The Thick of It
Hugh Abbot: Robyn, all events are regional. Everything that happens in the world has to happen somewhere. Do you see? Even JFK's assassination was a regional event. But it was also very important. Like this factory visit.
TV Show: The Thick of It
Cliff Lawton: You've told the Lobby that I'm going?
Malcolm Tucker: Yeah. Sorry, Cliff.
Cliff Lawton: Minister.
Malcolm Tucker: Yeah, get used to 'Cliff'.
Malcolm Tucker: Yeah. Sorry, Cliff.
Cliff Lawton: Minister.
Malcolm Tucker: Yeah, get used to 'Cliff'.
TV Show: The Thick of It
Malcolm Tucker: What did the Prime Minister actually say to you?
Hugh: He actually said this is exactly the sort of thing we should be doing.
Malcolm: SHOULD be doing. "Should" does not mean "yes".
Hugh: He actually said this is exactly the sort of thing we should be doing.
Malcolm: SHOULD be doing. "Should" does not mean "yes".
TV Show: The Thick of It
Malcolm Tucker: You don't seem to understand that I'm going to have to have to mop up a fucking hurricane of piss from all these neurotics.
TV Show: The Thick of It