The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy Quotes

Billy: Washing my hair, washing my hair... wait a minute, this isn't shampoo, it's DOG-! (The screen fades to black just when Billy is about to say "poo")

TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Gladys: Oh sorry, Billy. We weren't laughing AT you, we were laughing WITH you!
Harold: I was laughing at him.

TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Irwin's Dad: Yes, Irwin's mom is actually a mummy. Nobody can tell you who to fall in love with, but we've managed to make it work all these years. Leaving a whole lot of questions that don't need to be answered.
Mandy: Eh, works for me.
Grim: Me too.
Billy: ...But how did you and Irwin's mom...
Irwin's Dad: Leaving a whole lot of questions that don't need to be answered.

TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Billy: Grim, why do the good die young?
Grim: Well, it's mostly because I get confused.

TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Mandy: So you're telling me the whole point of this stupid club...
Wiggly: ...is to resurrect an ancient snake creature and make him eat the cool kids, leaving nerds to rule the world! Yes.

TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Grim: [to the Snake Nerds] You disgust me, too! You're all old enough, so wear some deodorant! I've been trying not to vomit in my own mouth all day!

TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
[CIA Agent is in another room, speaking via intercom]
Agent: (To Billy) So, you wanna join the organization.
Billy: What organization?
Agent: The CIA.
Billy: J-J-J!
Agent: What?
Billy: ...Q-R-S-P-U-Z! Now I know the ABC's, next time won't you sing with ME?

TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
[CIA Agent is in another room, speaking via intercom]
Agent: Do you think you have what it takes to join us?
Billy: I have a rash on my butt!
Agent: Ok...
Billy: My mom tells me not to touch it, but I touch it anyway! [pause] Please don't tell my mom!
Agent: Uuhh, sure.
Billy: Are you invi-siable?
Agent: No Billy, I'm in a different room.
Billy: The bathroom?
Agent: Billy, how would you like it if we wiped your mind and turned you into a covert warrior?
Billy: I LIKE FRENCH FRIES!

TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Wiggly: Yes! Come, Lord Shnissugah! Come and make us kings!
[the basement door opens, but the scene abruptly changes back to Irwin's club]
Billy: You sickos are in big big trouble!
Irwin: The CIA is on to us! Run, girls! [he runs to an open window] You ain't gettin' jack on me, yo! [he jumps out, and a CIA agent moves to follow him]
Billy: No. Let him go. He seems to have forgotten this classroom is on the third floor.

TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
[Irwin is arrested by the CIA.]
Irwin: This isn't right! This episode was supposed to be about snake nerds! SNAAAAKE NEEEERDS!

TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Shnissugah: What are you, crazy in the head?! Cool kids are full of transfatty acids! Do you have any idea what that would do to my indigestion?

TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Grim: You mortals are always picking your noses: [flashbacks] in your car, at the mall, in your car, at work, in your car, at school, in your car...
Billy: Hey, that's me!

TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
[The Nasalmancer is digging through Billy's nose]
Billy: Hey, now! Get yo fo' shizzle out of my nizzle, Dawg!

TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
[Billy's and the Nasalmancer's noses collide and blow up]
Nasalmancer: (to Billy) You blew my nose... up!
Billy: (to the Nasalmancer) You blew my nose... up!

TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Billy: Hey! It's the Fluffy Cat... Fluffy... Cat.
Mindy: You've already said that!
Billy: (stupidly) Oh, yeah...

TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Grim: Why does the fate of humanity always end up in the hands of an idiot?

TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
[Harold is telling Gladys how much his new bike costs]
Harold: ... and it only cost us Billy's entire college fund!
Gladys: (Grabs Harold by the collar) What did you say?!
Harold: I said "Its only cost us Billy's entire college fund!"
Gladys: Oh... well, it must be nice.

TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
[Billy complains after Mandy tells him to tell Harold he destroyed the bike and "face the music"]
Billy: But I hate music! All kinds! Especially soft rock!

TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Grim: Just who is that Sassy Cat character anyway?
Mandy: It's some stupid cartoon character based on some stupid cartoon media icon used to build this whole stupid amusement park.
Grim: Cartoons are stupid.
Mandy: I agree.

TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
[Mandy sees a poster with Billy]
Mandy: Look, it's Billy, and he's racing with wieners.
Grim: You mean Irwin and Pud'n?
Mandy: No, wiener dogs.

TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Billy: Of course your wasting your time sharpening that piece of crud!

TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Master Control: [monitor activates] I am Master Control, computer of the future.
Billy: Aaahh! [jumps on Grim's arms]
Grim: That'd better be sweat dripping down your leg, boy.
Master Control: I am programmed to run all of the machines at this attraction. My intelligence is beyond measure; I know everything there is to know, and I'm not too shabby at checkers.
Grim: Wait, how can you know *everything*?
Master Control: I just do, so there.
Grim: If you know everything, then what's the meaning of life?
Master Control: Life has no meaning; only machine intelligence is truly significant on a cosmic scale.
Grim: Hmm, I didn't think he'd get that one right.
Billy: Oh, yeah? Then what's my favorite color?
Master Control: Blue.
Billy: What's the best kind of bean?
Master Control: Pinto.
Billy: Why is the sky blue?
Master Control: Because of the refraction of sunlight through the water droplets in the sky.
Billy: Why do I ask so many questions?
Master Control: Because you're stupid!
Billy: What's the color of my underwear?
Master Control: White...
[Master Control raises an eyebrow]
[Master Control puts on an annoyed face]
Master Control: ... with pink frilly lace.
Billy: [checks in his pants] WOW! It really does know everything.

TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Billy: [singing] Sassy cat, sassy cat, full of sass, full of sass, if you dont like her you can kiss... her... BUTT!!

TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Funhouse worker: Oh, man! She's a goner!
Grim: I'd like to say it was nice knowing her...
[Mandy walks to the door, completely indifferent to the chaos and destruction around her. When she makes to the door, the robots swarm her]
Mandy: [sarcastically] Oh no, whatever shall I do? [Pulls out a nearby plug, which turns off the robots] You idiots coming or not?
Worker: Wow, she's bad!
Grim: You have no idea.

TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Grim: I'm so bored!
Mandy: I know what you mean. I've been watching Billy pick stuff out of his ear for the last two hours. And the worst part is... I can't stop watching.

TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Mandy: Money is the root of all evil. I think I need more money.

TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
TV Commercial: ...and, if you get to the Endsville mall in the next four minutes, you'll get a free Happy Huggy Stuffy Bear!
Billy: [thinking] Wait! Something was said... something good! Was it peanuts? No, something with free... was it free peanuts! No, peanuts are never free. What was free!

TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Mandy: What's wrong with the TV?
Grim: Nothing, I'm just waiting for Billy to realize it isn't on.
Billy: [staring at a blank screen] ... Ooh, I LOVE this show!

TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
[Irwin gets a Happy Huggy Stuffy Bear from Mandy]
Irwin: A gift from Mandy! I will call you... Mandy Two! And I will teach you the meaning of love...

TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Happy Huggy Stuffy Bear: I love you.
Billy: I love you.
Happy Huggy Stuffy Bear: I'll be your friend.
Billy: I'll be your friend.
Happy Huggy Stuffy Bear: I'll do your bidding.
Billy: [in a trance] I'll do your bidding. Pardon me I have bidding to do. [leaves]
Mandy: Is Billy drooling more than usual.
Grim: Just be happy it's drool this time.

TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy