The Golden Girls Quotes
Dorothy: Margaret, uh, please sit down.
Blanche: Maybe we oughta get her a booster seat.
Dorothy: [to Margaret] Can I get you a drink?
Blanche: How 'bout chocolate milk?
Rose: [sitting down next to Margaret] So, Margaret, you're from Atlanta.
Margaret: Well that's right.
Blanche: That child over there is trying to steal my daddy away. She ain't better but a tick on a slow moving hound dog.
Dorothy: Why is everyone around here talking like Burl Ives?
Blanche: Maybe we oughta get her a booster seat.
Dorothy: [to Margaret] Can I get you a drink?
Blanche: How 'bout chocolate milk?
Rose: [sitting down next to Margaret] So, Margaret, you're from Atlanta.
Margaret: Well that's right.
Blanche: That child over there is trying to steal my daddy away. She ain't better but a tick on a slow moving hound dog.
Dorothy: Why is everyone around here talking like Burl Ives?
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Dorothy: Well, if anybody's going to do it, it should be me.
Al Mullins: Why you?
Dorothy: Because I am the best under pressure.
Sophia: And she bears a striking resemblance to Barnaby Jones.
Al Mullins: Why you?
Dorothy: Because I am the best under pressure.
Sophia: And she bears a striking resemblance to Barnaby Jones.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Blanche: I would do it [go undercover], but I'm afraid I might be too conspicuous. It's a dinner party and I plan to show cleavage!
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Rose and Dorothy's "Miami, Miami (You've Got Style)" song:
[Rose: ] I have to say what I feel
[Dorothy: ] Miami has so much appeal
[Rose: ] A great place to get a seafood meal]
[Both: ] Miami...
Miami, Miami, you've got style
Blue skies, sunshine, white sand by the mile
When you live in this town, each day is so fine
The coldest of winters are warm and divine
Miami, Miami, you've got style
Blue skies, sunshine, white sand by the mile
There's golf clubs and nightclubs all within reach
Dance the samba till morning, then lie on the beach
Each view is a postcard, each day a great time
It's the cream of the crop, it's the top of the line
[Blanche and Sophia join in: ] Miami, Miami, you've got style
Blue skies, sunshine, white sand by the mile
Miami... you've got style!!!
[Rose: ] I have to say what I feel
[Dorothy: ] Miami has so much appeal
[Rose: ] A great place to get a seafood meal]
[Both: ] Miami...
Miami, Miami, you've got style
Blue skies, sunshine, white sand by the mile
When you live in this town, each day is so fine
The coldest of winters are warm and divine
Miami, Miami, you've got style
Blue skies, sunshine, white sand by the mile
There's golf clubs and nightclubs all within reach
Dance the samba till morning, then lie on the beach
Each view is a postcard, each day a great time
It's the cream of the crop, it's the top of the line
[Blanche and Sophia join in: ] Miami, Miami, you've got style
Blue skies, sunshine, white sand by the mile
Miami... you've got style!!!
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Dorothy: Ma, what are you doing!?
Sophia: [caught sneaking Bridget's meal] It's a little habit I picked up, I call it eating.
Sophia: [caught sneaking Bridget's meal] It's a little habit I picked up, I call it eating.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Blanche: Dorothy, do you realize it has been four days since I have enjoyed the company of a man?
Dorothy: I know, Blanche. I've been marking the days off on my "Big Ships of the Navy" calendar.
Blanche: I don't think I can stand it much longer! My body feels like a Corvette up on blocks with its engine racin', the wheels just spinnin' and spinnin' with nowhere to go! I feel like I'm gonna EXPLODE! [grabs Dorothy's hand] Dorothy, you have to help me, you have to do somethin'...
Dorothy: Honey, there's nothing I can do, so get that look out of your eye and let go of my hand.
Dorothy: I know, Blanche. I've been marking the days off on my "Big Ships of the Navy" calendar.
Blanche: I don't think I can stand it much longer! My body feels like a Corvette up on blocks with its engine racin', the wheels just spinnin' and spinnin' with nowhere to go! I feel like I'm gonna EXPLODE! [grabs Dorothy's hand] Dorothy, you have to help me, you have to do somethin'...
Dorothy: Honey, there's nothing I can do, so get that look out of your eye and let go of my hand.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Blanche: Maybe Michael needs a little exposure.
Rose: Exposure to what?
Dorothy: To plutonium, Rose.
Rose: Exposure to what?
Dorothy: To plutonium, Rose.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Michael: [caught in bed with Bridget] Grandma, this isn't what it looks like!
Sophia: Please! I'm eighty years old. I may not remember what it feels like, but I sure as hell remember what it looks like!
Sophia: Please! I'm eighty years old. I may not remember what it feels like, but I sure as hell remember what it looks like!
TV Show: The Golden Girls
[Rose is in denial about Michael and Bridget's affair]
Rose: You know how it is when you can't believe something.
Dorothy: Yes, I can't believe Alan Thicke has a hit series, but that doesn't mean it isn't so.
Rose: You know how it is when you can't believe something.
Dorothy: Yes, I can't believe Alan Thicke has a hit series, but that doesn't mean it isn't so.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Dorothy: Rose, what do you call a woman who sleeps with a man on the first date?
Blanche: [trying to defuse situation] A damn good sport?
Blanche: [trying to defuse situation] A damn good sport?
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Rick: [about having to share a bathroom with the girls] How do you think we feel having to gargle next to Grandma Moses and the Mosettes?
Rose: You, you, you rude person!
Dorothy: Go easy on him Rose.
Rose: You, you, you rude person!
Dorothy: Go easy on him Rose.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Dorothy: [hearing a bark from the bedrooms] What was that?
Blanche: Rose brought a dog home from the supermarket.
Dorothy: What, couldn't she just get stew meat like she usually does?
Blanche: Rose brought a dog home from the supermarket.
Dorothy: What, couldn't she just get stew meat like she usually does?
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Rose: [about the dog] He followed me home.
Dorothy: Oh come on, Rose, you drive to the market. How did he follow you home, in a taxi?!
Dorothy: Oh come on, Rose, you drive to the market. How did he follow you home, in a taxi?!
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Rose: [pretending the dog is talking to her] Don't explain Rose, I used to live with a couple of bitches myself.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Mr. Allen: [Dorothy introduces him to her mother] Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Petrillo. What brings you to our humble home?
Sophia: Is he gay?
Dorothy: Uh, come on, honey, I'll walk you to the car.
Mr. Allen: Goodbye, Mrs. Petrillo. Sorry you didn't have an opportunity to experience our museum. I'd love for you to see my most prized acquisition - a magnificent pair of Gauguins.
Sophia: What are you, a pervert?!! I was married for 45 years, I never even saw my husband's gauguins!
Sophia: Is he gay?
Dorothy: Uh, come on, honey, I'll walk you to the car.
Mr. Allen: Goodbye, Mrs. Petrillo. Sorry you didn't have an opportunity to experience our museum. I'd love for you to see my most prized acquisition - a magnificent pair of Gauguins.
Sophia: What are you, a pervert?!! I was married for 45 years, I never even saw my husband's gauguins!
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Rose: I haven't been this depressed since I was rejected by Uncle Sam.
Blanche: Well honey, if he was your uncle, it wasn't meant to be. It wasn't like if he was your cousin, where the relationship might have had a future.
Dorothy: Tell me Blanche, have any of your relatives appeared in Deliverance?
Blanche: Well honey, if he was your uncle, it wasn't meant to be. It wasn't like if he was your cousin, where the relationship might have had a future.
Dorothy: Tell me Blanche, have any of your relatives appeared in Deliverance?
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Dorothy: We have created a poetry-writing citrus farmer who writes his letters with a lavender felt pen, and Rose thinks he's the most fascinating creature on earth. Now what does that tell you?
Blanche: About Rose?
Dorothy: About the whole bunch of us!
Blanche: About Rose?
Dorothy: About the whole bunch of us!
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Isaac: I was wondering where the party got to.
Dorothy: Isaac, this is the ladies' room! This is where ladies go to the bathroom.
Isaac: [looking at a large sofa that resembles a toilet] Whoa, how do you lift this baby up? I guess you have to stand back when you flush this thing.
Dorothy: Isaac, this is the ladies' room! This is where ladies go to the bathroom.
Isaac: [looking at a large sofa that resembles a toilet] Whoa, how do you lift this baby up? I guess you have to stand back when you flush this thing.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
[The girls have offered to watch Albert's diner for a little while so he can have some time with his family]
Albert: Can you cook?
Sophia: Are you black?
Albert: Can you cook?
Sophia: Are you black?
TV Show: The Golden Girls
[Blanche is explaining to the girls why she gets aroused by Santa Claus]
Blanche: I can't help it. There's something about a man in a Santa Claus suit that just drives me absolutely crazy! I don't know. Maybe it's-- it's the warmth of all that RED HOT SWEATY flannel, set against the austere coldness of those BLACK PANTHER LEATHER jack boots...OR maybe it's because those rosy cheeks and twinkling eyes bespeak a passion that is about to erupt from a man who just spent a COLD LONELY year cooped up with a pack of dwarfs! I'm not sure. All I know is the sight of a Santa sets my body aflame with unbridled desire!
Dorothy: Blanche, you do realize you're in the minority on this?
Blanche: I can't help it. There's something about a man in a Santa Claus suit that just drives me absolutely crazy! I don't know. Maybe it's-- it's the warmth of all that RED HOT SWEATY flannel, set against the austere coldness of those BLACK PANTHER LEATHER jack boots...OR maybe it's because those rosy cheeks and twinkling eyes bespeak a passion that is about to erupt from a man who just spent a COLD LONELY year cooped up with a pack of dwarfs! I'm not sure. All I know is the sight of a Santa sets my body aflame with unbridled desire!
Dorothy: Blanche, you do realize you're in the minority on this?
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Dorothy: Uhh Rose, Are you going to be very much longer?
Rose: Not now, Dorothy. This man is still very down about his financial situation. He was one of the principal backers of Howard the Duck.
Rose: Not now, Dorothy. This man is still very down about his financial situation. He was one of the principal backers of Howard the Duck.
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Dorothy: Merry Christmas, Rose. Merry Christmas, Blanche.
Rose: Merry Christmas Dorothy, Merry Christmas Blanche.
Blanche: Merry Christmas Rose--
Sophia: What the hell is this, The Waltons?
Rose: Merry Christmas Dorothy, Merry Christmas Blanche.
Blanche: Merry Christmas Rose--
Sophia: What the hell is this, The Waltons?
TV Show: The Golden Girls
[Blanche was telling the girls of one particular Christmas Eve where she met 3 or more men that night]
Dorothy: Blanche, I could get herpes listening to this story!
Dorothy: Blanche, I could get herpes listening to this story!
TV Show: The Golden Girls
[Rose is singing The First Noel and as the rest of the gang joins in....]
Rose: Did I ever tell you about the time....one Christmas, we launched the production of A Christmas Carol with an all-chicken cast.
Dorothy: God, look at the time!
Blanche: Is it that late? I'm so tired.
[Dorothy, Blanche, and Sophia exit.]
Rose: Did I ever tell you about the time....one Christmas, we launched the production of A Christmas Carol with an all-chicken cast.
Dorothy: God, look at the time!
Blanche: Is it that late? I'm so tired.
[Dorothy, Blanche, and Sophia exit.]
TV Show: The Golden Girls
[Blanche compares herself to one of "Charlie's Angels"]
Blanche: I once was told I bore a striking resemblence to Miss Cheryl Ladd ... although my bosoms are perkier!
Dorothy: Not even if you were hanging upside-down on a trapeze!
Blanche: I once was told I bore a striking resemblence to Miss Cheryl Ladd ... although my bosoms are perkier!
Dorothy: Not even if you were hanging upside-down on a trapeze!
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Dorothy: Won't you try to work it out? Do it for your favorite niece.
Angela: What's your cousin Graziella got to do with this?
Angela: What's your cousin Graziella got to do with this?
TV Show: The Golden Girls
Sophia: If you didn't come here to apologize, why don't you leave?
Angela: Why should I apologize?
Sophia: I'll tell you why, because you're nothing but a back-stabbing Judas in sensible shoes!
Angela: Oh, yeah? Well, you know what you are? You're a two-lire tramp with cheap bridgework!
Sophia: May you put your dentures in upside down and chew your head off!
Angela: May your legs grow old and gnarled and withered like an olive branch... [looking at Sophia's legs] you should be so lucky.
Sophia: May your moles grow hair thicker than Jerry Vale's!
Angela: May your marinara sauce never cling to your pasta!
Sophia: Oooooh [biting her own fist], that's it! Come back here and say that to my face!
Angela: Why should I apologize?
Sophia: I'll tell you why, because you're nothing but a back-stabbing Judas in sensible shoes!
Angela: Oh, yeah? Well, you know what you are? You're a two-lire tramp with cheap bridgework!
Sophia: May you put your dentures in upside down and chew your head off!
Angela: May your legs grow old and gnarled and withered like an olive branch... [looking at Sophia's legs] you should be so lucky.
Sophia: May your moles grow hair thicker than Jerry Vale's!
Angela: May your marinara sauce never cling to your pasta!
Sophia: Oooooh [biting her own fist], that's it! Come back here and say that to my face!
TV Show: The Golden Girls