The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Quotes

(A worker is repairing the elevator)
Philip: (shouts up at the worker) How much longer until someone gets us out of here? My wife is having a baby.
Worker: Is she in there with you?
Philip: No.
Worker: Good, because I'm going on a break. (everyone shouts at him) Just kiddin'. A little elevator humor there. I'll get you out of there as soon as I can.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Janice: What happened to Hilary?
Vy: (runs back to the doorway to fetch Hilary) Hilary Violet Banks! GET YO' BUTT IN HERE!!
(she drags Hilary inside, and they walk up to the nurse, whose hand has been severely injured by Vivian's big grip)
Nurse: My hand!
Carlton: I'm pretty sure Mom's been here.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
[everyone in the living room is annoyed by the sound of Vivian's bell]
Will, Philip, Carlton, Hilary, Ashley, Vy, and Janice: [all scream] STOP WITH THE DAMN BELL!!!!!

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
(A man smokes a cigarette in the elevator)
Philip: Excuse me, sir. Would you mind putting out that cigarette?
Man: (takes his cigarette out of his mouth) Hey, It's a free country. (Continues smoking)
Philip: That's right. It certainly is. But it's against the law to smoke cigarettes in elevators.
(the man blows smoke into Philip's face; Philip takes the cigarette out of his mouth, breaks it in half, and stomps on it)
Will: That's right boy, there's a new Jack city. (to Philip) You da man! You da man! (elevator shuts down) You da big man that broke the elevator.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Ashley: Poor mom.
Will: Poor mom? Poor me! I saw Uncle Phil naked! And he was running!

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Vivian: Philip!
Philip: Vivian?!
Vivian: Philip!!
Philip: VIVIAN!!!
Will: WILMA!!!

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: Girl, you look so good I'd marry your brother just to get in your family.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
(At a comedy club's showcase where Will's jokes bomb)
Hilary: Will's really bombing up there. We should do something.
Carlton: Good idea. Boo, get off the stage, we want our money back, go back where you came from.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Mrs. Bassin: (while playing musical Jeopardy!) The answer is a cleft.
Will: Oh! What is, that thing that Michael Jackson had built into his chin?

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Woman: That's my Jessie, the one with the braids.
Jazz: That's my Will, the one with the mustache.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Philip: Since when do you take care of the babies?
Jazz: Babies? I'm supposed to take care of Hilary.
[Philip tosses Jazz out again]

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Vivian: I love the way your beard feels.
Philip: I'm suprised you remember.
Vivian: It hasn't been that long since we made love, has it?
Geoffrey: Five months this Tuesday. (Vivian and Philip stare at him and he shrugs) Thin walls.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Ashley: Dad, all my friends are at the mall. Do you know what would happen if they saw me with my father?
Philip: What!? Would you be banned for life from The Gap?

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Carlton: I'm not bringing her anywhere near you.
Will: I'm your cousin.
Carlton: The cousin that stole every woman I ever had.
Will: Oh please. I stole one girl.
Carlton: My point exactly!

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Carlton: Dad, I have to move out.
Philip: No, you don't.
Carlton: Yes, I do. Will said it's time for me to leave the nest, become independent, and have sex with girls. Safe sex, mind you, but lots of it!

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: Jazz, you stole this pillow!
Jazz: It's a thought that counts.
[Will throws Jazz out]

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Hilary: It'd a Bungee jump proposal
Phil: Oh please, whatever happened to getting down on one knee
Hilary: Daddy thats for old fogees
Phil: I got down on one knee
Geoffery: Sustained!

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Trevor(on TV proposing to Hilary): Hilary Banks!
Hilary: Yes, Trevor?!
Trevor: Will you marry me? (Trevor slams to the ground)
Will: I ain't no bungee expert or nothing, but I don't think he's supposed to be slamming into the ground like that.
Hilary: "Please Stand By?" Great, the president's about to interrupt my marriage proposal.
Philip: Let's just pray that Trevor's okay.
(returning from Trevor's funeral) It was a lovely service.
Will: Trevor didn't look so bad for a dude that had a concrete facelift.
Carlton: Fool, like that was his real head.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Philip: Why don't I take you to the mall?
Hillary: Go to the mall with my father?
Philip: Sorry, I forgot.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Philip: I guess you've got yourself a pool house.
Carlton: How come he gets the pool house while I'm upstairs with the weeping widow?!
Will: Uncle Phil, keep this man off my property or I'll shoot him.
Carlton: Its my property! I inherit everything when the big guy takes his bungee jump!

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Hilary: If I didn't ask for a fancy proposal, Trevor would be in my arms instead of in my purse.[Pulls out an urn from her purse][crying] I love you Trevor.
Will: Uhhh... Hilary, Trevor wasn't cremated.
Hilary: Ewww, then whose this?!
Geoffrey: [Takes the urn] I'll see him to the door.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: I'm taking... [looks at his class schedule] ...Western Pornography.
Carlton: [looks at schedule] He's taking Western Philosophy.
Philip: Western Philosophy, I'm impressed.
Carlton: He doesn't even know what western philosophy is.
Will: I do too. It's where they ask you questions like "Was Kool Moe Dee a real cowboy?" (singing) The Wild Wild West. The Wild Wild West.
Carlton: (singing) I used to live downtown, on 29... (stops singing)

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Philip: The man (his old college professor) changed my life. And you know how he did? He challenged me.
Will: To what, a pie eatin' contest?

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: (referring to his Western Philosophy teacher) Hey Sting, kick some lyrics, man.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: Sure thing, Skippy.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: (referring to his Western Philosophy teacher) Ay Skippy, the Garth Brooks concert must be over.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Carlton: Carlton the peacock says "Don't be a quitter. Pick up your litter."
(Carlton is knocked down by a student)
Carlton: Come on guys, help me up.
Will: Yeah, we need clean-up in aisle five. There's some bird droppings.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will & Jackie: You ain't ever gonna change!

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Philip: Ya know, Will. If you had pulled a stunt like this when you were in high school, there's no telling what I would do. For starters, I would do this.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Carlton: Big poopie.
[Philip walks up to Carlton]
Philip: What did you say?
Carlton: I say... Uh... Beg, puppy. To my pretend dog Ernie. (doing the throwing the ball hand movement) Fetch, Ernie. He's gone now.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air