The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Quotes

Will: Tell me this, Doogie.
Carlton: Um.
Will: How is it possible that we are losing?
Carlton: I can't pull a vowel to save my life.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Carlton: Well I tried to walk away but the craps table kept calling: "Carlton, Carlton." And the blackjack table said you can do it! And the slot machines just say: "Hey you tall handsome guy come shake my hand!" These are ALL MY NEW FRIENDS! My God they're pumping a lot of oxygen in this room!

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Carlton: I had my knife. I went into the wild. But how's a little brave supposed to survive with all these bells and whistles? Well the madness is over. I'm Carlton again/
Will: Carlton, look. A quarter.
Carlton: WHERE!? (he crawls on the floor, looking for the quarter)
Will: You're pathetic!
Carlton: You're right, Will. I've hit rock bottom. How come you can see the quarter and I can't?
Will: Because there ain't no quarter. (he slaps Carlton in the head)

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
(At the roulette table)
Carlton: Come on, eight. Eight. I need an eight.
Will: Carlton, what the hell are you doing?
Carlton: What does it look like I'm doing? I'm gambling.
Will: You can't bet all your money on one number.
Dealer: And the winner is... eight.
Will: Yes, I love you man!

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will So how much are we up?
Carlton: We're not up. We're down.
Will: Wht do you mean "we"?
Carlton: Well, after I maxed out my credit cards-
Will: Carlton, you maxed out your credit cards?
Carlton: Well, yeah. I couldn't get full value for the airline tickets.
Will: You hocked our airline tickets?
Carlton: Yeah, I had to get some from your cards. Word to the wise, Will, never leave your PIN number in your wallet.
Will You stole my wallet? How much do we have?
Carlton: Whatever's on the table.
Will: Wait a minute...
(He reaches over to the table, but the dealer slaps his hand.)
Dealer And the winner is... eight...
Will: YES!
Dealer: ...teen.
Will: NO! Wait, that says eighteen. We got eight. We should get something.
(The dealer shakes his head.)

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Vy (referring to her and Helen): Geoffrey, what do you think? Who's more desirable?
Geoffrey: It's a tie, you both lose.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Hilary: I exploit people everyday, but it's Thanksgiving so I'm taking a day off.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
[Will is boxing a girl named Helena]
Helena: Cmon hit me!

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Helena: Your mama!
Will: Mama said knock you out!

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
[The Next Day, Will returns and fights her back and it arouses her}.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: How do you like me now?!
Helena: That was...impressive. Take me!
Will: Um..You a little freaky-deeky ain't you?
Helena: Now!
Will: Well, you ain't gotta tell me twice!

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
[He carries her off]

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Carlton: Hey guys. Look what I found.
Ashley: Hey, it's the dummy.
Will: Yeah, and he found Safety Guy.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Vivian: That man is on thin ice!
Geoffrey: I'll alert the fish.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
[Using hand-puppets, Will and Carlton create an apologetic show for Ashley]
Will (dog): One, two, three! Hey, Ashley! [beatbox] Will and Carlton are sorry! [beatbox] Hey, kitty-cat! Hey, kitty-cat! Hey, kitty-cat! Help-help me out!
[Carlton (cat) appears]
Will (dog): [beatbox]
Carlton (cat): We care about you very much!
Will (dog): Ple, ple, ple, ple, ple, ple, ple, please forgive us! [beatbox]

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Ashley: Thanks to you, now I'm gonna be working at Dippity Doo Dog until I'm dippity dead!
[Ashley storms off]
Carlton (cat): I think it worked. I think she's feeling much better.
Will: I think you've been smokin' a little bit too much of that catnip.
Carlton (cat): Hey! You take that back!
Will: Carlton. It's over.
Carlton (cat): It's not over! (Talking to himself) What does he mean it's over?! It can't be over!

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Carlton: Will, I'm a little uncomfortable with nudity.
Will: Oh don't worry, Carlton, we're all uncomfortable with your nudity.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Philip: If i leave, I'm not coming back Vivian.
Vivian: Good.
Philip: B-because once I leave out that door, I'm gone.......I'm moving closer to the door Vivian. This is your last chance....I mean it!
Helen: Oh for christ sake, leave already!

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Geoffrey's Son Fredrick: Do you have any Tom Jones record?
Carlton: DO I?

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: What, one day you were sipping some tea and crumpets and thought "Hey! I should fly half way around the world to steal from the father I never knew!"

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Philip: Having a pet is a big responsibility. You have to feed him, clean up after him...
Geoffrey: Just don't expect a thank you.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Nicky: Daddy, did you sit on Harry.
Philip: Yes Nicky.
Nicky: That's ok, death is a natural part of life... But what a way to go.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Parson: Will, no, stop it! Go bother Tah!
Ali: No don't bother Tah!

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Philip: You can play with Carltons clubs.
Will: What? You want me to play on my knees?

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Carlton: Sounds like you guys won!
Philip: Hell no! He's an even worse golfer than you!

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Carlton: (to Hilary) William Shatner is gonna be on your show?! (to Will) And you knew? You lived in the same pool house with me, knowing how much this would mean to me, and you didn't tell me? I don't even know who you are.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: Hey G, wassup man? Hey look, um, (referrng to himself) I got this friend right, you know he kinda got a little problem. He got these 3 cousins, and they all moving on with new and exciting lives and everything.
Geoffrey: Is your friend pensive?
Will: My friend doesn't know what pensive means.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Hilary: Oh Geoffrey, Im gonna miss you. Oh, we have to have a special going away dinner for you, what do you wanna make?

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Philip: So Will, did you find a new place?
Will: Uhh, well, Uncle Phil...
Carlton: Yeah, it's a great place.
Vivian: How does it look?
Carlton: Well, it's got ceiling-to-floor doors, and wall-to-wall floors.
Will: Carlton's just playin', y'all. There's something I have to...
Philip: So, when do we get to see it?
Will: You can't.
Philip: Why not?
Carlton: Because it's tinted. You can't see inside of it.
Will: Carlton, it's okay, man, I can do this. You can't see my apartment, because I don't have one.
Carlton: It's a condo.
Will: Okay. That's all right, Carlton.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: Wherever and whenever... I got your back, C.
Carlton: Wherever, whenever I've got your back,... W. That just doesn't sound right comin' from me, does it?
Will: It sounds great, man.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air