Sports Night Quotes

Casey: I'm sorry.
Dan: Yeah?
Casey: I'm very sorry.
Dan: I don't think you are.
Casey: I am. In fact, I'm so sorry it's almost hard for me to think of different ways to say "bite me."

TV Show: Sports Night
Casey: Sounds like you're ready to go for it.
Jeremy: I am. I absolutely am. I mean, if not now, when? If not me, then who?
Casey: Later and somebody else?

TV Show: Sports Night
Jeremy: I'll go write the pageant.
Dan: The pageant?
Jeremy: Well, there are sections of the haggadah that, quite frankly, could use a polish.
Dan: You're gonna do a rewrite on the haggadah?
Jeremy: It's not written in stone, Dan.
Dan: Actually, some of it is.

TV Show: Sports Night
Natalie: You dated a porn star and never slept with her?
Jeremy: Yeah.
Natalie: What a goober.

TV Show: Sports Night
Dana: Are you growing a beard?
Isaac: No.
Dana: Did you shave this morning?
Isaac: No.
Dana: Why?
Isaac: I like an electric razor.
Dana: You should buy one.
Isaac: I have one. I have four.
Dana: You have four electric razors?
Isaac: Yes.
Dana: Why?
Isaac: I like them.
Dana: Is your electricity not working?
Isaac: Esther babyproofed the house.
Dana: Matthew's here! I totally forgot. When was the last time you saw him?
Isaac: About nine months ago, before the stroke.
Dana: Matthew's here!
Isaac: The kid can't even walk yet - why are we locking the medicine cabinets?
Dana: Does he crawl?
Isaac: Not up walls, no!

TV Show: Sports Night
Elliott: Dan?
Dan: Hey.
Elliott: These are for you. [puts flowers on desk]
Dan: Elliott, look, last night, seriously, I was talking to Kim. I was doing a little thing.
Elliott: They're not from me.
Dan: Like it'd kill you to give me flowers once in a while? [opens card] "R.W." It says "R.W."
Casey: What else does it say?
Dan: It just says "R.W." Robert Wagner has sent me flowers.

TV Show: Sports Night
Trager: Anybody who can't make money off Sports Night should get out of the money-making business.

TV Show: Sports Night
[On air]
Casey: ...with revenge on their minds they welcome the Tigers to the house that Ruth built this evening.
Dan: Excuse me, Casey, but Ruth didn't build the house this evening, did he?
Casey: No, Dan, and thank you very much for correcting my every mistake no matter how small, oh these many years.
Dan: What are friends for?
Casey: Annoying the hell out of you?
Dan: Exactly.

TV Show: Sports Night