Rocko's Modern Life Quotes

Grandpa Wolfe: I say we eat the beaver!

TV Show: Rocko's Modern Life
Heffer Wolfe: Hey, Rocko!
Rocko: What have you done?!
Heffer Wolfe: Pretty cool, huh? Gave all your old stuff to charity.
Rocko: You...!
Heffer Wolfe: You can thank me over dinner. I made us my specialty. [Rocko and Heffer go to the kitchen.]
Heffer Wolfe: Voila! The Heffer Deluxe!
Rocko: [takes a bite] Heffer, this is bonza! What's in it?
Heffer Wolfe: Well, let's see, there's pickled banana shavings, gym socks, canned haggis, beetle bladder, real processed head cheese, salt peter, reconstituted corn sweat, the finest barley and hops. [Heffer's dish starts to crawl away so he stabs it]
Heffer Wolfe: Hmmm now where was I, pot ash, sulfur, mono sodium glutamate, and vegetable catalidge as a binding agent.

TV Show: Rocko's Modern Life
Heffer: [after finding Rocko in the dumpster, his nail-biting problem out of control] All this toe-chewing is making me hungry. Let's go get some chili!

TV Show: Rocko's Modern Life
Rocko: Heffer, we're here to lose weight, not eat!
Heffer Wolfe: The more I eat, the more weight I lose.

TV Show: Rocko's Modern Life
Rocko: I'm not a dog, I'm a wallaby!
Dog Catcher: A wallaby?
Rocko: Yeah. It's like a kangaroo, only smaller.
Dog Catcher: You made that up!

TV Show: Rocko's Modern Life
Entire Cast: Rocko fought City Hall!
Rocko: And I won, too.
Entire Cast: Rocko fought Corporate America! They were big and he was small!
Entire Cast: But not too small.
Rocko: Rocko fought City Hall.

TV Show: Rocko's Modern Life
[Mr. Dupette and assistant Mr. Noway walking to Ed Bighead's office.]
Noway: "And I think you'll agree: He has a very promising future here at Conglom-O." [opens office door, revealing Ed talking to the "Magic Meatball" dressed in a wedding dress.]
Ed: "Now it wants to call it off!"
Noway: "I'm sorry to waste your time, sir."

TV Show: Rocko's Modern Life
Heffer: "Where's the remote?"
Peaches (this show's version of the devil): "Hahahaha, you poor pathetic fool. Still don't know where you are, do you? THERE IS NO REMOTE!"

TV Show: Rocko's Modern Life
Heffer: Wait a minute! Heck? Isn't it supposed to be—"
Peaches: (putting hand over Heffer's mouth) "Censors."

TV Show: Rocko's Modern Life
Heffer: (riding off into the sunset) Which do you think is funnier Rocko, banana or cheese?
Rocko: Cheese, Heffer, definitely cheese.

TV Show: Rocko's Modern Life
[From Zanzibar]
Guy: "And you know what they say..."
Rocko: "It's going to be a song, isn't it?"
Singing Townspeople, in unison: "You can't fight City Hall! You can't fight corporate America, they are big and we are small, you can't fight City Hall..."
[Rocko persuades them to go with him to talk to the board of directors at Conglom-O]
Rocko: "We demand to see to the Board of Directors!"
Security Guard: "And you would be...?"
Heffer: "We're a big unruly mob!"
Singing Townspeople: "We're a big unruly mob..."
Rocko: "Well, actually, we're the concerned citizens of O-Town."
Security Guard: "And you were sent by...?"
Heffer: "A big pile of rotting vegetable matter!"
Singing Townspeople: "A great big rotting pile..."
Rocko: "Well...uh, a compost heap, but the description is accurate."
Security Guard: "And do you have an appointment?"
Rocko: "Uh...this was sort a...spur-of-the-moment spontaneous thing..."
Security Guard: Uh-huh. And how do ya'll know the words?"
Heffer: "Ooh boy, he's got ya there Rock."
Rocko: "I don't know the words..."
Singing Townspeople: "He doesn't know the words...!"
Rocko: "SHUT UP!!!"
Security Guard: "Sorry, you can't get in without an appointment."
Rocko: "Oh..."
Singing Townspeople: "I guess we'll all go home..."

TV Show: Rocko's Modern Life
"[After Heffer accidentally reals in Rocko's underwear]"
Heffer: "Filburt..."
Filburt: "Yuck, get those away from me!"

TV Show: Rocko's Modern Life
Mr.Cheese: I am the cheese. I am the best character on this show. I am better than the salami and the bologna combined.

TV Show: Rocko's Modern Life
Heffer: "Ladies and gentlemen, you're about to witness one of the seven wonders of the world. At about 11: 30 eastern-standard time through "this", our buddy Rocko will descend the staircase as he does every night for a glass of milk."
Filburt: "And he ain't dressed for the occasion if ya know what I mean!"
Heffer: "Hehehe yep, you heard right he's completely... "naked!"
Filburt: "With no clothes on!"

TV Show: Rocko's Modern Life
Filburt: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!

TV Show: Rocko's Modern Life
Ed Bighead: Rocko,what're you doing?
Rocko: [With a paddle in his hand] We're playing spank the monkey.

TV Show: Rocko's Modern Life
Heffer: You know, I died once.
Filburt: Yeah?

TV Show: Rocko's Modern Life
Ed Bighead: Bev! Oh, I can't believe it! Do you know what that *weirdo* next door is up to?
Bev Bighead: Oh, shut up and mind your own business, Ed.
Ed Bighead: But, Bev! They're, well... *Nude*!

TV Show: Rocko's Modern Life
Bev Bighead: Oh, Ed! Oh, you're right! Yes! This is disgusting!

TV Show: Rocko's Modern Life
Bev Bighead: Quick, Ed, get the telescope out of the hall closet!

TV Show: Rocko's Modern Life
Peaches: I am the Dark Underlord, the Prince of Doom, the King of Eternal Torment! I am Pain! I am Evil! They call me... Peaches!
Heffer: Peaches?
Peaches: (normal voice) Would ya let me finish? (dark voice) You will rot in torment forever! (laughs)
Heffer: Peaches?
Peaches: (normal voice) Okay. Heffer. Pffffft. Oh, that's a good name, I -- (slaps self) What was I saying? (flips up fiery pit scene to reveal nothing) Just forget it.
Heffer: But wait, I though that --
Peaches: (still in normal voice) Ah, that's for the tourists.

TV Show: Rocko's Modern Life
(Mr. & Mrs. Fathead on screen...)
Mrs. Fathead: "Guess what I got??" Mr. Fathead: "A lobotomy!" Mrs. Fathead: "No silly, Watermelons!"

TV Show: Rocko's Modern Life
(Rocko and Filbert are fighting. They open the door.}
Rocko: "What in the hell—"
(It's the deportation officer)
Rocko/Filbert: "—lo..."

TV Show: Rocko's Modern Life
Heffer: Wow, look at all the trees. (reading a sign) "Welcome to O-Town National Forest."
Rocko: (reading another sign) "Enjoy Nature's Splendor."
Rocko and Heffer: (seeing the Conglom-O Mall) Oooooooooooh, splendor.

TV Show: Rocko's Modern Life