Raising Hope Quotes
Burt: Pygmies freak me out. The women run around topless. They look like little girls with knockers.
TV Show: Raising Hope
Virginia: [to Burt about Maw Maw] You know how her mind works - it's like a mouse on a wheel except the wheel spins sideways and the mouse is blind and has a really bad sprained ankle.
TV Show: Raising Hope
Virginia: All college guys cheat when they're in a long distance relationship. Why do you think I didn't let your dad go off to college?
Jimmy: 'Cuz he didn't graduate high school?
Virginia: For your information, there are universities that advertise on late night television that are willing to overlook that.
Jimmy: 'Cuz he didn't graduate high school?
Virginia: For your information, there are universities that advertise on late night television that are willing to overlook that.
TV Show: Raising Hope
[Zoe walks into the studio completely naked]
Rosa: Jimmy, you look so freaked out, like a deer caught in his girlfriend's high beams.
Jimmy: I'm not freaked out. I always figured the first time I saw her naked would be with a bunch of strangers and my mom's boss.
Rosa: Jimmy, you look so freaked out, like a deer caught in his girlfriend's high beams.
Jimmy: I'm not freaked out. I always figured the first time I saw her naked would be with a bunch of strangers and my mom's boss.
TV Show: Raising Hope
Donovan: Hell Chinese moms don't even give the kid a pillow. Yeah, they throw a violin and a laptop in the crib and say "Learn it by morning, donkey!" I mean, that's why the Chinese are beating us at everything.
TV Show: Raising Hope
Virginia: [to Gary] I'm sure somewhere out there there is a woman that wants to be lured into your apartment to find you naked. Maybe you should try Greg's List!
TV Show: Raising Hope
Burt: When it comes to being a hunter gatherer, I don't have a lot of weapons. I'm not that bright, I'm not that smart, and I don't have a lot of intelligence.
TV Show: Raising Hope
Jimmy: [after seeing Sabrina's commercial] That's not fair. You used my daughter without my permission. Would you make your own baby?
TV Show: Raising Hope
Virginia: Burt, why are you infusiating yourself in other people's lives?
Burt: I like this guy. He reminds me of me. We both have brown hair and hate museums.
Burt: I like this guy. He reminds me of me. We both have brown hair and hate museums.
TV Show: Raising Hope
Rosa: It seems my mother thinks that your son is the Devil.
Virginia: Hah! I kinda doubt the devil would still be a virgin at eighteen.
Virginia: Hah! I kinda doubt the devil would still be a virgin at eighteen.
TV Show: Raising Hope
Virginia: Did you hear that? Maw Maw's got a surprise for you Jimmy!
Jimmy: [slams his hand onto the table] You know that's not my name! If you want to address me, you must call me Drakkar Noir.
Virginia: Like the man's perfume, right?
Jimmy: It means Black Dragonship.
[momentary pause]
Burt: Your makeup looks nice today.
Jimmy: [slams his hand onto the table] You know that's not my name! If you want to address me, you must call me Drakkar Noir.
Virginia: Like the man's perfume, right?
Jimmy: It means Black Dragonship.
[momentary pause]
Burt: Your makeup looks nice today.
TV Show: Raising Hope