Quantum Leap Quotes

Al: It's not like you're lost in a mall — you're lost in time.

TV Show: Quantum Leap
[Sam and Al have traded places — Al as the leaper, Sam as the hologram from the lab.]
Al: Do you have any Sweet 'n Low? Or Equal?
Kelly: Sweet 'n low? Equal?
Sam: No, no, no, no, no. They didn't have any artificial sweetner in 1945. Okay?
[Sam looks at Kelly.]
Sam: But boy, did they have women with big kazooms!

TV Show: Quantum Leap
Kelly: Even with the cafe I'm rationed a half a pound of sugar a week. And Mike tries to put all of it into in his cup.
Mike: Are you forgetting who slips you an extra pound of butter every now and then?
Kelly: I didn't know I was swappin' sugar for it.
Sam: Well, if a pound of butter is all it takes, I got me a dairy farm that I...
Al: [to Sam] Stop that!!

TV Show: Quantum Leap
Clifford Whiteside: We're to be married in two days! What are my mother and father going to say?
Sam: Cancel the church, the reception, the cake...

TV Show: Quantum Leap
Al: Tea? Not coffee?
Sam: I'm making some tea. Tea. T-E-A tea. Tea, tea, tea. I don't like coffee, I like tea....Does drinking tea make me any less of a man than somebody who drinks coffee? I mean, is every tea-drinker in the entire history of the world gay to you? Is that it? What about the Boston Tea Party? Was that like some kind of a gay boat festival or something?

TV Show: Quantum Leap
Jannie Eisenberg: I'll tell you what. Why don't you lie down in the parking lot and I'll accidentally back over you with my car. Probably we can get a whole week out of that.

TV Show: Quantum Leap
Sam: I was trying to save your life.
Angela: By running me down and beating me up?
Sam: No, no. I thought...I thought that your heart had stopped. I was just trying to get it started again, that's all.
Angela: Oh, why don't you back over me a couple more times?
Sam: You shouldn't move.
Angela: You shouldn't drive.

TV Show: Quantum Leap
Al: Oh yeah. Oh yeah. 'Oops! It was an accident! I accidentally killed everybody. Haw haw. Now I'm stuck with this secret load of secret treasure. Oh, I'm going to have to give up my measley, poor-paying professorship and go somewhere and live a life of ease and luxury somewhere else. Ha ha.' Give her an Oscar and let's get the hell outta here.

TV Show: Quantum Leap
Al: Bingo bango bongo!

TV Show: Quantum Leap
Al: Gushie, if I should suddenly pop out of existence, I want to leave everything to my first wife, Beth.

TV Show: Quantum Leap
Al: He thinks I'm Saint Peter and that I'm going to send him to Hell for overcharging his hours.

TV Show: Quantum Leap
Al: He has all the signs of the undead.
Sam: And you have all the signs of the brain dead.

TV Show: Quantum Leap
[Al consults his frequently malfunctioning handlink.]
Al: He's at dinner.
Sam: He's at a dinner?
Al: Yeah.
Sam: In the middle of the afternoon? He's at a dinner?
Al: He's at a dinner, having diner.
Sam: What?
[Al slaps the handlink.]
Al: Oh, he's at the diner having dinner... make it lunch.

TV Show: Quantum Leap
Sam: You've got to reach for the stars, not for the ceiling.

TV Show: Quantum Leap
Al: He cancels out on Elvis! Oh! This is awful, Sam! Ziggy says now, Elvis doesn't even get discovered. And "Heartbreak Hotel" is recorded by the... Monkees! And "Jailhouse Rock" is recorded by Tony Orlando and Dawn. Ughh! Gag me with a spoon!

TV Show: Quantum Leap
Sam: You're not just a bartender.
Bartender Al: That's true. I own the place, too.

TV Show: Quantum Leap
[about Al]
Sam: At last, something sexual he's NOT into.

TV Show: Quantum Leap
[about Al]
Sam: The fact that you were a practicing pervert at the age of 5 has nothing to do with the rest of the world!

TV Show: Quantum Leap
[Al has suddenly materialized]
Sam: Can't you just fade in, or something?
Al: You tell me how to fade in a neurological hologram, and I'll make the cover of Scientific American!

TV Show: Quantum Leap
[his life in the 70's]
Sam: Great. I'm on the take, I wear polyester clothes and I live above a bar in an apartment decorated like a gym.

TV Show: Quantum Leap
[Repeated line]
Sam: Oh, boy...

TV Show: Quantum Leap
[talking about God]
Sam: In case you haven't noticed, Al, the Committee isn't running this Project anymore... He is.

TV Show: Quantum Leap

Sam: Do you have to sneak up on me?
Al: I'm sorry. What do you expect a hologram to do? Knock?

TV Show: Quantum Leap

Sam: I can't have a life. All I do is live someone else's life. I right their wrongs, I fight their fights - geez, I feel like I'm Don Quixote.

TV Show: Quantum Leap

Sam: I'm running track, Al.
Al: Oh, well look, you pump your arms and you pump your legs and drive through the tape.
Sam: You were a runner too?
Al: No, but it sounds good, doesn't it?

TV Show: Quantum Leap

Sam: It all started when a time travel experiment I was conducting went... a little ka-ka. In the blink of a cosmic clock I went from quantum physicist to air force test pilot. Which could have been fun... if I knew how to fly. Fortunately, I had help. An observer from the project named Al. Unfortunately, Al's a hologram, so all he can lend is moral support. Anyway, here I am. Bouncing around in time, putting things right which once went wrong. A sort of time traveling Lone Ranger, with Al as my Tonto. And I don't even need a mask. Oh boy.

TV Show: Quantum Leap

Sam: Leaping about in time, I've found that there are some things in life that I can't change, and there are some things that I can. To save a life, to change a heart, to make the right choice. I guess that's what life's about

TV Show: Quantum Leap

Sam: Say something to me in Spanish.
Al: Uh, tu casa o mi casa.
Sam: My place or yours - Al!

TV Show: Quantum Leap

Sam: What is she doing in Syracuse?
Al: I bet a lot people ask themselves that question.

TV Show: Quantum Leap

Sam: Where the hell were you?
Al: I was at the Laker game. It went into overtime.
Sam: A ball game? I nearly died because you were at a ball game?
Al: It wasn't just a ball game. It was a play-off game. At the party later, I met this dish named Martha.
Sam: I guess I can thank God you didn't spend the night with this Martha.
Al: Well, I did.

TV Show: Quantum Leap