Primeval Quotes

Jenny: How long has the body been here?
Nick: I don't know. A week; a month.
Connor: If it's been that long, the anomaly could have formed before the detector came online, which would mean there's nothing wrong with it, guys.
Nick: Yeah, there's one problem. The sabretooth may well have killed the guy, but it sure as hell didn't dig a trench ten feet deep and bury his body.

TV Show: Primeval
Lester: You know what, Leek? I think this area could benefit from a government redevelopment grant. We'll start off by sealing the anomaly site with a few hundred tons of concrete; that should do the job.
Leek: Shall I... speak to the contractors?
Lester: Oh, there's no need. I'll just get a shovel and a cement-mixer and do it myself. Of course you should call the contractors, you idiot!

TV Show: Primeval
Lester: Give me some good news!
Nick: We still haven't found the boy.
Lester: No, that's bad news. Good news makes people happy. Keep trying!
Nick: We found the shark.
Lester: Now you’re getting the hang of it. So then… problem solved!

TV Show: Primeval
Connor: (regarding Jenny) She looks amazing.
Nick: Mm. So does a velociraptor.

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[Connor pilots a robotic probe through an anomaly]
Connor: High CO2, low oxygen.
Nick: It's pre-Carboniferous. Maybe Ordovician or Silurian. There's no dinosaurs, no mammals, and no birds... wait a minute, what's that?
Connor: It's a little girl.
Jenny: What is she doing?
Nick: She's looking for her dog.
Abby: She might be injured.
Connor: There's nothing really in the Silurian to injure her. We're talking a few basic plants and some bugs.
Abby: How big are the bugs?
Connor: Bug size, I think. As far as periods go, it's a pretty safe one to get lost in.

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Lester: Daphne and...Scrappy will have to take charge of the anomaly operation.
Connor: You mean us?
Lester: Unfortunately, yes. God help us.

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Taylor: Would you rather die of thirst, or be eaten? I think I'd rather be eaten. At least it's quick. Two bites, done. You're like four or five bites, so it'd be worse for you.
Nick: Can you not try and be positive for five minutes? You know, hopeful?
Taylor: We're probably the best food around. Imagine you're a giant sand beast, living on nothing but millipedes. Then you get to taste people for the first time, all gooey and warm. We'd be like a delicacy. Who do you think they'll eat first?
Nick: Why don't you sing a song, or whistle, or... something, damn it, just don't talk?

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Stephen: [to Connor] "A few basic plants? Some bugs?"

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Lester: [after Nick knocks out an actor] Well, I'd better go soothe your caveman. Let's hope the paleolithic was short on ambulance-chasing lawyers.

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Lester: My worst nightmare in one sentence.
Jenny: [just coming off phone] Mammoth on the M25!
Nick: Columbian mammoth!
Lester: The flavour is immaterial!
Leek: Actually sir, the Columbian is a hairless species-
Lester: I don't care if it's shaved its legs and gotten a bikini wax: it's on a motorway in broad daylight!

TV Show: Primeval
Jenny: I've shut down the motorway on the next two junctions, kept the camera crews out, shut down the mobile network, there's a no-fly zone in place, and the eyewitnesses have been debriefed.
Nick: And all that with your skirt tucked into your tights. Well done.

TV Show: Primeval
Sir James Lester: [as Abby feeds a captured Columbian mammoth fruit from outside its enclosure] Don't get attached; you can't keep him.
Abby Maitland: Did you know that a Columbian mammoth's trunk is five times more dexterous than an elephant's?
Lester: Why is everyone telling me facts about mammoths today? Do I look like I'm interested? Still, his tusks might be worth a bit.
Abby: [disgusted] You wouldn't.
[Mammoth sneezes in Lester's direction]
Lester: Ugh. Have a chat with him about personal hygiene, would you?

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Oliver Leek: [Appearing on the A.D.D's monitors] You're on your own, James. There's no one there but you.
Lester: Leek? What the hell are you doing?
Leek: Now, I want you to feel what it's like to be on the wrong end of your grand disdain. The little man looking up at the big boss.
Lester: Security! I want security in here now!
Leek: They've all gone, James. Either off on Cutter's wild goose chase, or dead. Now...
[A future predator controlled via neural implant appears before Lester]
Leek: I'm going to hunt you.
. . .
Lester: Leek, you're never going to make me beg for my life, so let's just end it now.
Leek: All right, if you insist.
[The Future Predator snarls]
Leek: Goodbye, James.
Lester: One more thing.
Leek: Yes?
Lester: You really are a tiresome little man.
[The Future Predator lunges at Lester from the ceiling, and is promptly impaled on the tusk of the mammoth released by Lester moments earlier]
Lester: Good boy. Good mammoth.

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[Mammoth trumpets in its enclosure]
Lester: You know, my kids are really pestering me for a pet. [shrugs] If you can't find a home for him...

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Abby: What are you doing?
Connor: Trying to track down Leek. There's got to be a clue in his personal files.
[Connor effortlessly cracks the computer's security system]
Abby: You obviously know your way around.
Connor: Mm-hmm.
Abby: Hack into them regularly, do you?
Connor: Yeah. You'd be amazed how much Lester gets paid.
Abby: What's my middle name?
Connor: Sarah. [stops typing] You... told me that once, though, right?
Abby: No.
Connor: . . .

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Leek: [after Nick kills a future predator by pulling off its neural clamp] Clearly a design fault. We'll have to correct that in the others.
Nick: What others? [looks up to see over a dozen similarly-chipped predators in the rafters]
Leek: I wouldn't bother trying to escape; they'll rip you to pieces before you can blink! My very own Praetorian Guard...they'll make me untouchable!
Nick: [on the Future Predators] You really think you can keep them locked up for long?
Leek: Well, properly chipped, they're no more dangerous than a car or an aeroplane. A machine designed for human use.
Nick: No, that's not how it's gonna work, Oliver. Because one day they're going to escape, and then when they do, they're going to kill all of us. It's the end of the human race you're looking at.
Leek: [gasps in mock terror] I'd love to stand around and discuss your apocalyptic fantasies all day, but I've got work to do.

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Lester: You've had your chance to surrender, Leek.
Leek: I still have twelve creatures out there. One command from me, and there'll be absolute chaos.
Lester: Oh, Cutter didn't tell you? That clever little virus of his sent us the contents of your hard disk. We've got names, locations, all sorts of useful stuff. We're just mopping up the last of your menagerie now. Oh, and Jenny just phoned. You have... oh, just a few minutes before we join you. Now if you don't mind, I think there's some snooker on the other channel.
Leek: [furious] Have you ever seen a man torn in half on live TV, Lester!? Call a halt to your men, or I shall order the creatures to dismantle Professor Cutter, joint by joint!
Lester: [coldly] The government does not negotiate with terrorists!
Leek: 30 seconds, then they kill him! Your choice!
Nick: James, don't do it, I'm not important!
Leek: Ten! Nine! Eight...
Lester: Unfortunately, I agree with Professor Cutter. No individual's life is worth greater than the safety of the public...
Leek: [boredly] Seven! Six! Five! Four! Three! Two-!
[At the last moment, NIck places the neural clamp into a circuit box. The electricity short-circuits all the devices, releasing the predators from Leek's control. As Cutter escapes, the predators descend en masse and tear Leek apart, watched by Lester and his staff]
Lester: [emotionlessly] Switch that off, will you?

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Steven: [after learning Helen has lied to him] I so badly wanted to believe you. [to Nick] BUT THAT DOESN'T PUT YOU IN THE RIGHT!
Nick: Stephen, there's a whole army of predators down here! If even one of them makes it above ground level, there's gonna be no one left! Now if you want to help people, we have to do this!
Helen: They're too powerful, Nick! Nothing you can do!
Nick: Well then, you're gonna have to think of something, or else we're all gonna die! Now you brought them here, you know them! [pause]
Helen: The siren...the creatures associate the sound with food. They'll come back to the cage room whenever they hear it.
Nick: And if we can lock them in with the predators, then they'll destroy each other! Come on then!

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Nick: WAIT! I can't close the door! Well otherwise they're gonna get back out!
Helen: We can only do that from in there now. The control's on the other side, but whoever does it will be locked in. [as they speak, the creatures are racing towards the room].
Nick: Then one of us has got to go back in. [resigned] I'll do it.
Stephen: You'll never make it out!
Nick: Get out of here. [whispers in Stephen's ear] Just remember Lester's not the enemy.
Helen: [pleadingly] Nick, please!
[Stephen shakes his head. As Nick turns back to face Helen, Stephen punches him in the face, knocking him to the floor. As he recovers, the sound of the door slamming is heard. Nick leaps back to his feet and looks through the door's viewport]
Nick: [horrified] STEPHEN!
Stephen: Sorry mate, I'm doing this one.
Nick: No, open the door! OPEN IT!
Stephen: [smiling sadly] Can't do it, Nick. Can't take the risk.
Nick: Stephen, open the door!
Stephen: Tell Abby and Connor...to stay out of trouble.
[As Nick watches, the creatures enter the room and surround Stephen. The pair share one last look before Stephen is ripped apart]

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Helen: (to Stephen's grave) Be patient, Steven. Things can change... more than you'll ever know. (she smiles as lots of cleaner clones come out from behind different things in the cemetery)

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Lester: Let's hope it's something small and fluffy. Something from a quieter moment in history. Something cute. Perhaps something furry with big eyes. Or something pretty and bird-like. I don't know, something-
Jenny: Vegetarian?
Lester: Vegetarian would be good. Vegetarian would be excellent.

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Hemple: I have now officially figured out where Cutter and the others are. We've locked their GPS coordinates. They're at a tributary of the Podkammenaya Tunguska River.
Lester: Really? Isn't that near Leatherhead?
Hemple: It's Siberia.
Lester: Oh, that Podkammenaya Tunguska!

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Yuri Torosyan: Hello
Abby: Mm, Hello.
Torosyan: How are you doing? Vols does not like me talking to you, but I think that people should be being friendly, don't you?
Connor: Especially kidnappers.
Torosyan: I'm sorry?
Connor: I said, she's eating, actually.
Abby: Leave it, Connor!
Torosyan: Yes, she is eating. The food, it is not bad, yes? Vols says that I am interrupting him. You see, he is making a list. He has been told to look after you and get you the things - you know - from quartersmaster. The things like bedrolls and gloves and toothbrushes. He is trying to think of all the things you will need to have. I am Yuri. What is your name?
Abby: Abby.
Torosyan: Abby. Abby. Is nice name. (To Connor): So, what is your name?
Connor: Connor.
Torosyan: Hello, Connor. How are you doing?
Connor: I'm fine.
Torosyan: Good! I am Yuri Torosyan, and I am very happy to meet you! I-
Natacha Antila: Hey, stop it, Yuri! Go away! (To Connor and Abby): I have told Vols that the men should not be allowed to bother you.
Abby: It was fine. He was harmless.
Natacha Antila: Harmless? Why, Yuri Torosyan is hardly harmless!
Abby: He's quite good-looking, actually. Nice eyes.

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Natacha Antila: Fraternisation is not reccommended.
Abby: With him?
Natacha Antila: With anybody!
Abby: Okay!

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[Dr. Page is surrounded by ARC soldiers at the British Museum]
Nick: Stay where you are. Who are you?
Sarah: I'm Dr. Page.
Nick: I'm Nick Cutter.
Sarah: ...okay... I assume you're some kind of thief?
Nick: Actually, I'm a professor.
Sarah: I've never seen a professor with a gun before.
Nick: ...it's a pretty specialized field.

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Jenny: James, we've got a problem.
Lester: So have I - it's called Christine Johnson. Think "velociraptor," only better-dressed.
Jenny: James, a creature has escaped through the anomaly.
Lester: What is it?
Jenny: We don't know.
Lester: Well, can't you look its picture up in your big book of dinosaurs?
. . .
Jenny: Cutter's tracking it now. We have the anomaly site secured, but there's something else. There was an eyewitness - a young woman in the museum.
Lester: Well, you know, have her shot and dispose of her body discreetly. [exits office] Just kidding.

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Connor: [after inadvertently damaging the Sun Cage] I didn't do it.
Sarah: So, it just fell off by itself?
Connor: Yep.
Sarah: The Sun Cage is cursed! Anyone who touches it is doomed for life.
Connor: Really?
Sarah: Marion was the last person to touch that.
Connor: The dead one?
Sarah: I should have told you that earlier, right? Sorry about that - bad luck.
Capt. Becker: Bad luck.
[Connor sits on a crate and immediately breaks a vase]

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Sarah: Bow.
Nick: What?
Sarah: Bow down.
Nick: What are you talking about?
Sarah: This creature is used to being treated like a god - they would have bowed as a sign of respect.
Abby: If it doesn't think we're a threat, it might not attack.
Capt. Becker: I'm not bowing.

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[After the Pristichampsus returns through the anomaly]
Connor: That's got to be the end of the curse now, right?
Sarah: Here's hoping.
Abby: The curse?
Sarah: [to Abby] I made it up.
Abby: [amused] Don't tell him yet.
Sarah: 'Course not.

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Lester: You'll be dealing with a highly strung and and temperamental team of rank amateurs who just happen to be brilliant at what they do. Your job's to stop them getting themselves killed...Oh, by the way, Professor Cutter won't like you, and he'll go out of his way to make your job as difficult as possible. Don't take it personally.

TV Show: Primeval